Fantasy Baseball Advice

Yes, the title does sound like a Chinese R & B song.  Krispie Young (For new readers, Krispie Young is the phonetic pronunciation of Chris B. Young to help avoid confusion with Cristal Young.) has been hot as cauliflower after a good broiling.  5 homers in 4 games this week; the post-All-Star Break last year saw him go 9/9 with a respectable (for him) .278.  In 2007, he hit 19 homers and stole 18 bases in the 2nd half (ah, those were the days for Krispie).  It’s critical to have the hot hands on your team this time of the year, especially in H2H leagues.  I’d absolutely lose a cold player to take a chance on Young.  Really, what do you have to lose, besides your league.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get to the Buy/Sell, just wanted to remind people that Fantasy Football has a fire going.  So, if you like, take your marshmallows over there.

BUY

Marlon Byrd – Batting over .500 for the last week.  More than that, he has 17 homers and 8 steals on the year while batting .287.  Yeah, he’s outperforming Carlos Beltran.  How’s dem apples?  Sour?  Ryght?

Seth Smith – Another guy that is outperforming Beltran on the year.  Weird game we got here, fellas (and two girl readers).  In the beginning of the year if you would’ve told me I’d be better off drafting Seth Smith than Beltran in the 2nd round, I would’ve punched you in the nose.  No apology either.  Just a nod telling you you had it coming.  Smith’s time may get bushwhacked a bit by Fowler, but with the way Smith’s hitting, I think the Rox work him in.

Carlos Gonzalez – Let’s all just own Rockies, shall we?  I like that idea.  The nice thing about CarGo (take that, Carlos Gomez!) is that even when he’s not hitting homers, he’s stealing bases.  Aim to please, that’s CarGo’s MotTo.

Ian Desmond – Scroll down to the last post to see what I had to say about him.  Go ahead, we’ll wait.  This is, after all, all about you.

Juan Gutierrez – Gutierrez is the closer.  Not officially maybe.  Or maybe officially.  What, you need a letter from the Queen of England?  He’s getting saves.  That’s all that matters.  How is he only owned in 6% of ESPN leagues?  If you give me your password, I’ll pick him up for you.

Ryan Madson – In the past, Madson hasn’t been great in the closer role, which leads me to…

Brett Myers – He can sneak in and grab a few saves.  Upwards to 4 saves.  Enticing, eh?  Almost as enticing as having your girlfriend meet a drunk Brett Myers at a bar.  I don’t think the closerousel in Philly will be nearly as clear cut as some might think, but there’s so little time left, any of these guys could run with the job for a few weeks.  How’s that for hedging bets?

Mike Gonzalez – Saves in Hotlanta could be a Mike G. Joint.

Madison Bumgarner – In keepers, you own him.  In other leagues, it’s doubtful he sees another start.

Wade Davis – The Rays decided they were better off with Davis over Sonnanstine.  Rookie nookie is alive and well in Tampa.  Our weather is as humid as our pitchers! What are you talking about?  Never you mind.  Friends of the random italicized voice will appreciate it. Wade Davis is still capable of being mollywhopped so if you can’t handle that caveat, do what you do.

Brandon Morrow – Very few starters are coming into the league right now with potential.  Mostly, you’re relying on matchups at this time of the year.  Build up complete.  Brandon Morrow’s back in the rotation.

Eric Young Jr. – I’m warning you now.  This winter will be The Winter of Eric Young Jr. (patent pending).

Michael Brantley – If you’re the kind of guy who paints a face on fruit right before you bite it just to show you’re in charge, then you know what I’m going to say, because I’m that guy too.  Brantley = SAGNOF!

SELL

Carlos Beltran – It was nice that you held onto him through his lengthy DL stint.  Loyalty!  You’ll make a good husband one day.  But just because he’s back, doesn’t mean he’s back back.  He’s still in the cavernous Metco for his home games and it could take a week or two for him to get up to speed.  You have time to wait for him?  Then throw in his knee might hinder his running game.  If you’re in a deep league, I can understand holding him and hoping for the best.  But if there’s guys on waivers, I’d lose Ricky from My So Called Life.

Brad Hawpe – I told you to sell him in June when he was still hitting.  He really hasn’t hit much since then.  You can’t play these vets who aren’t producing just because you wrote, “I Heart Hawpe,” all over your Trapper Keeper.

Joba Chamberlain – I understand you’re a fan of a descendants of much-maligned British Prime Ministers, but he’s pitching three innings at a time.  And not even pitching them very well.

B.J. Upton – Ankle flare ups are hindering his running game.  Being sucky flare ups are hindering everything else.

Alfonso Soriano is out indefinitely with knee problems.  Backdate this news three months.  Al-So is beginning to look like every bit of his Latin 33 age.  A real *pinkie to mouth* Al-so ran.  I’d drop Soriano in all leagues.  So it’s Jakie Foxx time, right?!  Since Soriano’s been gone, Sam Fuld (no power, light speed) got two starts, Bobby Scales (minor league journeyman) got two starts, Fox hasn’t had one start.  In other news, Jake Fox slept with Piniella’s wife.  As for Grady Sizemore… Early last week I said Sizemore’s injury would shut him down sooner than later.  Sooner happened over the weekend.  Grady’s done for the season and the Indians will go with Michael Brantley.  Hey, ain’t that the guy from Riverdance? Nope, but he also has quick feet.  Like Ron LeFlore, Brantley could provide some cheap speed.  Right now, he’s batting first and hitting close to .400 since his call up.  If there’s room in your bottle, there’s your lightning.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Iannetta – The Rockies announced Torrealba will be their starting catcher.  I.e., the Rockies finally gave up on Iannetta.  So bad, so sad.

Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks.  Now has two solid games back from his Disgraceful List stint.  While he has a name like a high school bully character from an 80s movie (Shut up, geek!), Cueto could have decent value in the last month.

Jay Bruce – Should return from his DL stint on Tuesday.  If he’s out there, I’d grab him, but don’t expect a miracle.  Bruce had three hits on Saturday in Triple-A, but Dusty Baker said, “There is more to being ready than just hits.”  Hmm… Maybe that’s why the Reds are dead last in the major leagues in hits.

Drew Stubbs – HR yesterday.  Now has 4 homers in the last seven games with one steal.  Has 23 Ks and 25 hits since his call up.  That’s Dusty Ball!

Tim Hudson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks vs. Reds.  See above for why this was a terrific match-up.

Jeremy Guthrie – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks.  I had a brief love affair with Guthrie last year.  It ended poorly in the beginning of this year, but then last month I saw he threw a solid game and I texted him that I was glad he was back on track.  He responded with “Thx.”  I hate when people abbreviate thanks.  They should respond with, “I don’t appreciate you enough to write out thanks.”  Then Guthrie threw another good game and another and another.  We may not be on the best of terms and the Orioles schedule is ugly in September, but if you’re really hurting, Guthrie has four straight solid starts and might have more in the tank.

Derek Holland – 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER A.K.A. why I wouldn’t trust Holland this year.

Leo Nunez – No outs recorded, 3 ER.  Now has blown two games in his last three opportunities.  May lose some save chances in the near future, but, unfortunately, Lindstrom hasn’t been much better.  Maybe Kiko Calero takes his awesome sounding name and does something with it.  Though, I doubt it.

Ryan Franklin – 1/3 IP, 2 ER as he blew his 1st save since June.  Normally, that would mean he’s as secure as they come, but the Cards can’t afford to lose games in the ninth and I’d imagine LaRussa will have another guy warming up as Franklin takes the mound next time.

Wade Davis – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks.  Might have a solid couple of starts in his arm for this month, but he can roofie you at any time.  Eric Karabell calls that high risk, high reward.  He’s so smart!

Fernando Rodney – Got two days off on Saturday and Sunday.  Leyland’s saying it was just some rest in the long season.  I think it’s because Rodney fired a 97 MPH fastball into the press box after saving Friday’s game.  Incredibly, members of the press were able to make a split second decision to leave the nachos and duck.  Lyon may have some appeal if you’re hurting for saves.

J.P. Howell – No outs recorded, 1 ER.  More disconcerting, Grant Balfour opened the ninth in a save situation.  Howell then entered to face a lefty, then gave way to Russ Springer, who gave up the grand slam to Brandon Inge.  It’s a closerousel, and the Tampa closer is Grant P. Springler.

Gordon Beckham – Sat out yesterday with a sore side.  He should be back in a few games to make his run at .250 while hitting a homer every fifth game.

Krispie Young – 3 HRs yesterday.  Now he just needs to get 20 homers and 20 steals while batting .600 the rest of this month to salvage his season.

Cole Hamels – 6 IP, 4 ER, 6 Ks.  On the bright side, he should be a relative bargain next year.

Seth Smith – 2 HRs, giving him 4 in the last five games as he hits near .600 in the last week and his Grandpappy settled Jamestown.

Carlos Gonzalez – HR yesterday.  He’s hitting near .400 in the last week with 3 homers and 3 steals.  Like Kyle Blanks’s afro, CarGo’s well rounded.

Doug Fister – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks and a no decision.  Confession:  I’m way under my innings limit in one league, so I gambled on Fister.  Plus, I always dreamed of having someone with a porn name on my team.

Brad Hawpe – The Rockies scored 13 runs and Hawpe went 0-for-3 with 2 runs.  Ticker Tease!

Pablo Sandoval – 1-for-3, and 3 walks, which is the same amount of walks he got in all of April.  In the same game, a triple play.  Obviously, there was two full moons in Milwaukee yesterday.

Randy Ruiz – Hit in the cheek with a pitch.  The cheek you pinch if you’re an Italian mother, not the cheek you pinch if you’re Italian who drives an IROC.  Ruiz will probably miss a few games.  After the game, he said, “I’m fine now.  Nothing growing up in New York City that I haven’t experienced.”  I grew up in New Jersey.  There you get hit by the strong stench of Drakkar.

When doctors said Aaron Harang is going to have a useless part of his body removed, everyone in the Reds clubhouse thought the same thing, “What is Willy Taveras doing in Harang’s body?”  If Dusty were a doctor, he would left Harang’s appendix in a few more innings.  The appendectomy will force Harang to the DL for the rest of the season.  Too bad, the Reds just traded for Rolen and things were really starting to come together.  Feel free to cut Harang.  He’s done-zo.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Dickerson – Headed to the DL with a whatever-you-don’t-care.  What you do care about, the Reds might call up Chris Heisey.  He’ll be talked about in the afternoon post where I break down the potential September call-ups.

Adam Jones – He hurt his back while swinging the bat.  He’s been terrible so far in August and now it sounds like he’ll be missing a few games at least.  Cue an awkward dancing Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny Devito and turn on the Billy Ocean…

Scott Downs – Returns from the DL on Monday.  Will he be the closer?  Here’s what Gaston said, “I’m not sure about closing. I’m not sure about that. We’ll see how it goes. If he got here tomorrow and I said we’re going to stick him in the closer’s spot right away, I’m not sure if that’s fair to him either.”  That is both wishy and washy.

Mark Reynolds – DNP with a 100-degree temperature.  Get well soon, Mini Donkey!

Carlos Gonzalez – Out for up to a week after he cut his hand while cutting a piece of steak.  Can’t they get Spilborghs to cut up his meat for him?  After Barmes’s vension accident a few years ago, maybe the Rockies should go vegetarian during the summer months.  Or only use chopsticks.  Crab rangoon is delicious!

Seth Smith – With CarGo’s inability to handle a knife, Smith might see some short term time.  He also has 2 homers in the last three games.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 8 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks.  If you owned only Rockie pitchers, you’d probably be doing better than you are in your leagues.  Zoinks!

Fausto Carmona – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  He’s actually had a full month of decent starts.  Not great, decent.  Check your modifiers, Razzball reader.

Jhonny Peralta – HR yesterday as he bats near .400 over the last week.  Let me pull out my lukewarm endorsement…. If you really need an MI, what the hey?

Matt Diaz – 4-for-4 yesterday.  It’s Dye-as.  Usually only hits lefties, currently hitting everyone.

Pedro Martinez – 6 IP, 4 ER, 5 Ks.  I swear, I keep thinking to myself he’s going 5 IP, 3 ER or 6 IP, 4 ER.  I’m like the quiet psychic.  This Fall on Fox, turn up the volume and watch as he solves mysteries while speaking just above a whisper… Robert Carlyle is The Quiet Psychic.

Angel Pagan – 2 HRs yesterday.  See, there is a reason he was nominated for the Henry Aaron Award!

Jayson Werth – Hit his 29th homer yesterday.  You gotta love when your third outfielder pans out.  I know the feeling, I own Raul Ibanez on a few teams. (Though he’s been cold lately.)  Third outfielders panning out make me horny!  *Awkward silence at Razzball.com*  Did Grey just say third outfielders… Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Ricky Nolasco – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 12 baserunners.  Here’s the deal, Nolasco.  And I’m gonna break it down to you real simple like Jeff Foxworthy.  One terrible game like the stinker vs. the Astros when you gave up 10 earned runs in just over three innings.  That’s forgivable because you came back and pitched a complete game the next game.  But when you follow that up with another stinker, you become unpredictable and harder to start.  Thanks for listening, Nolasco.  I’m glad we had this talk.

Alcides Escobar – Hit his first homer yesterday.  After he crossed home, I screamed at the TV, “I have guys to hit homers.  Steal a frickin’ base, doode!”

Adam Dunn – Hit his 33rd homer yesterday.  If he doesn’t get to 40, Stephen Hawking will press a button on his Speak & Spell and blow up the Earth.  Just so you know what we’re up against.

Drew Stubbs – He looks so lost at the plate, it’s kinda comical.  Still has speed, will have bumps.

Homer Bailey – 7 IP, 1 ER.  I’m glad he pitched a good game… Actually, I don’t care.  What am I, his hypenate nephew-slash-personal assistant?  No, I’m not.  He gets the Dodgers next.  Blech.

Scott Feldman – 7 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks.  Easily his best start of the year.  I still can’t get fully behind starting him, but if you need to take some risk, then go for it.

Bud Norris – 1 IP, 6 ER as he roofied his owners.  When thinking about starting a rookie, see Example A:  Norris’s line.

Jake Fox – 4-for-4, HR yesterday.  Can an AL team trade for him this winter?  Please.  I’d like to own him in the fantasy, but non-Biblical way.

Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 4 baserunners, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  Right side of the brain, Dempster beat the NL-best Dodgers yesterday.  Left side of the brain, Dempster lost to the Padres last time out.  So his next start vs. the Mets is a good thing or a bad thing?  Damn conflicting sides of the brain!

John Smoltz – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners and 9 Ks vs. Padres.  If only the Red Sox played in Petco…  Smoltz gets the Nats next time out.  I’d roll the dice for another start, then reevaluate.

Jack Cust – 2 HRs yesterday.  Cust is hitting near .500 in the last week with three homers.  Few hitters get as streaky as Cust (though A-Rod comes close right after he gets out of the salon and has his frosted tips done).

Jason Bay has been terrible.  Like Don Mattingly’s wife in a mugshot terrible.  In June, J-Bay hit .230 and 4 homers, but he was hitting the cover off the ball in June compared to July.  In July, he’s hitting .203 with 1 homer.  This month Garrett Jones has hit more homers during REM sleep.  The optimist in me says Bay will hit 15 homers and .300 the rest of the way with ten steals.  The pessimist in me thinks he’ll be benched in favor of Chris Duncan.  The realist looks at all of his splits and sees a guy that has been consistent throughout his career, minus a season (2007) when he was battling knee problems.  The surrealist in me thinks Bay will hit a line drive up the middle that will ricochet off the pitcher and shoot to the 1st baseman who will smack the ball into center, then the ball will slowly roll back towards the infield until God tilts the field and the ball rolls towards the 3rd baseman, but God tilts too far and the field freezes causing the ball to roll back towards the catcher.  In all likelihood, Bay’s 2nd half should be somewhere in the realist realm (though it would be cool if the surrealist was spot-on).  I think Bay can give you 10+ homers, .280 average and a handful of steals.  Right now, I’m actively trying to acquire him in one league.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Erik Bedard – Back to the DL.  In related news, George Sherrill was an All-Star in 2008, Adam Jones in 2009 and Chris Tillman is about to be called up.

Ted Lilly – After he was rocked by the Phils, I said he might end up on the DL.  Lo and behold, voilà, alas, see that, told ya so, etc.  Lilly’s now on the DL.  Will miss about a month.

Kevin Millwood – Left after two innings because of tightness in his glutes.  That never bothered Richard Simmons.

Chad Gaudin/John Lannan – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners and 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, respectively, with two no decisions.  Watching the Nats and Padres really tested my love for baseball.  I don’t want to test fate for the off chance Tom Paciorek is rehired, but listening to Bob Carpenter and Dibble is like sitting next to Ted Striker on an airplane.

Ryan Zimmerman – Since May when he hit .342, he’s hitting .238 with 5 homers and nary a steal.  This guy has 9 homers and is batting .260.  This guy is Kevin Kouzmanoff.

Everth Cabrera – It was about five games ago, I said I’m selling back all of my old EverCab CDs at Amoeba, now he has 4 straight games with a steal.  SAGNOF!

Kyle Blanks – HR yesterday.  Rudy’s pride and joy now has three homers in the last week (while batting about .240).

Daric Barton – 2-for-4, after he finally did something he left the game with a hamstring strain.  If he were a bigger name, he could have had the lead with the title, Barton Fink.

Dallas Braden – 5 2/3 IP, 7 ER and 16 baserunners.  I sat him in The Jetstream.  I’m going to give him his next start vs. the Blue Jays at home.  If that doesn’t work out, then bye-bye Braden.

Brett Gardner – Headed to the DL with a broken left thumb.  So much for the Fonzie impersonations.

Brett Cecil – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Sticking with the newly-established Brett theme, Cecil now has three solid starts in a row and gets Oakland next.

Joe Blanton – 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks.  Now has a 2.55 ERA through the last two months.  I’ve been starting him everywhere for the last three weeks in a 12 team league.  I’d own him in a 10 team league at this point.

Julio Lugo – Batting .571 since the trade to the Cards and has a homer and a steal.  Lugo wouldn’t be the first middle infielder lemon that LaRussa turned into lemonade.

John Smoltz – 5 IP, 6 ER.  I know he had a lot of great years.  But your nostalgia is hurting you like when you sneak off into your attic and look at photos of you with your one true love.  Burn the photos, man.  She’s married with kids.

Nolan Reimold – .417 and three steals since The Break.  No idea where this newfound speed is coming from, but he’s capable of a few week streak where he’s ownable in all leagues.

Kelly Johnson – 3-for-4, HR and steal yesterday.  Whatever Yunel was drinking last week, Johnson seems like he’s bogarting it now.

Jason Schmidt – 3 IP, 4 ER.  Yup, sounds about right.

Russell Martin – Hit his third homer yesterday.  He would be leading the league if this were April 7th.

Anthony Swarzak – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER.  I wouldn’t pick him up with your team.

Seth Smith – 1-for-2, 1 steal.  After being declared the starting left fielder, he didn’t get the start Friday or Saturday.  Obviously Jim Tracy put starting in quotes.

Aaron Cook – 7 IP, 2 ER and the Win.  The third starter I had going yesterday in my crapfecta of pitchers (the other two were Lannan and Gaudin).  As I’ve said (numerous times) before, there is so much pitching out there you don’t have to have the exciting names (Liriano, Ervin Santana, Smoltz, Porcello, any number of rookie pitchers) to be competitive in pitching.  Boring works too.

Justin Morneau – 2 HRs yesterday as he makes his case for MVP.  Judge Grey presiding in the case of Morneau versus the AL field.  Without the runs and A-Rod hanging with Madge, what do you got?  A sucka in a uniform callin’ his shot…

Ervin Santana – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  He’s mocking you now.  You took the flier; it didn’t work.  Let him go.  You’ll feel much better when he’s doing this to someone else’s team.

Gerardo Parra – Rico Suave’s mocking me now.  I held him for so long in a deep league.  Since I dropped him last week (4 games ago), 2 homers, 7 RBIs, 4 Runs and one steal.

Tony Pena Jr. – To go reverse Ankiel on us and become a pitcher.  If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em…

Matt Holliday is a sell.  Zoinks!  Holliday’s value does go up with this trade to the Cards.  But his value doesn’t skyrocket as it seems most people will now think.  Remember, this is Matt “Shin-Soo Choo Has Better Numbers Than Me” Holliday.  In the National League, where there’s better pitching and less Runs scored, suddenly Matt Holliday has a ton of value?  Way more value than he had in Oakland?  Why, because Oakland was a bad team and the Cards were a great team?  Oakland actually had a better OBP than St. Louis (though that includes Holliday).  Better ballpark?  This year Oakland Coliseum actually ranks above Busch for offense.  Holliday will suddenly readjust his sonar for NL pitchers?  That didn’t work so well when he moved to the AL.  Listen, I think Holliday’s a terrific hitter, but to suddenly expect him to cure gout is asking too much.  I wouldn’t sell Holliday for a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I’d explore offers.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Chone Figgins – I don’t like Figgins.  He reminds me of Grover Dill to Vlad’s Scut Farkus.  More than that, I think you put yourself in an ugly hole if you have a 3rd baseman who gets you less than 5 homers on the year (though that hasn’t stopped me from touting Alex Gordon before).  But this is about something else.  This is about do or die time in fantasy leagues.  It’s coming up with fantasy baseball trading deadlines approaching faster than ever.  (It’s true, it’s faster this year.  Has to do with gravity or some shizz.)  So you have the Dwarf Planet (Pablo Sandoval) at third and you’re fine in the outfield with a bunch of big boppers (minus Richie Valens and Buddy Holly), but you’re stuck in third place and need steals.  Steals are the easiest thing to catch up in (saves being a close second).  Chone Figgins may not have been appealing to you (or I) on draft day, but right now you need steals and Figgy can provide them.  Or Bourn.  Or Taveras.  Or Ellsbury.  Or random schmohawk SAGNOF’er behind door number three.  Time is not your friend.  Do what you do, but Figgins is a very viable option if you need steals.  So… Figgy, give me one more chance…. (Notice how I didn’t mention his Runs or average.  His steals, that’s why you get him.)  (Notice II, this paragraph has more sidenotes than a David Foster Wallace story.  (You went way too soon.))

Chris Perez/Jon Rauch/Jim Johnson – Potential vulture SAGNOF’ers.

Matt Thornton – With Bobby being jenky, Thornton’s a decent vulture to look at for potential saves.  Though the White Sox have a pretty deep bullpen so it’s probably not that clear cut.

Seth Smith – The Rox are saying Smith is their every day leftfielder.  He could hit 10+ homers and some steals with full time play, but I still doubt he sees many ABs vs. lefties.  So his name is about as boring as his stats.  Talk about selling a buy!  Smith’s worth a spot in deep leagues, I wouldn’t bother with him in 12 team leagues yet.

Erick Aybar – Okay, Alex, Aybar Brothers for $300.  This Aybar brother has seven homers and a .282 average.  Who is Erick?  Sorry, that would be Willy.  Aybar Brothers for $400.  This Aybar brother is batting .417 in his last four games.  Who is Erick?  Sorry, still Willy.  Okay, let’s finish the category.  This Aybar brother is batting .483 in the last 7 games, has stolen two bags and plays every day.  Who is Willy?  No, it’s Erick.  You might think about auditioning for Wheel of Fortune.

Miguel Montero – Honestly, the D’Backs shouldn’t play Sndyer when he returns.  Miggy Pipp is doing work with his lumber stick.

Daric Barton – In his first start filling in for Giambi, Barton hit a homer.  Since then he’s made Nadir Bupkus look promising.  Doode needs to do much better with the time he’s getting while Giambi nurses his no ‘roids problem.  But all of that aside, Barton’s still worth a look in AL-Only leagues.

Chris Tillman – If the Orioles bring him up, and it seems like they will, he could be a solid guy for matchups.  Just don’t drop anyone too valuable in one year leagues because the Orioles schedule gets ugly in September.

Steve Pearce – Member when he went by Steven?  Ah, maybe I’m showing my age.  Pearce was recalled from Indianapolis on June 21st and has played once since July 8th.  Here’s what I think happened.  The Pirates bought a ticket for Ian Snell to be recalled, he said he was having too much fun in Indianapolis (I’ve been to Indianapolis; Snell may want to redefine fun), so Snell gave his ticket to Pearce.  Pearce should get some time at first with LaRoche outta there.  At one time, Pearce was a decent prospect, tis the reason he’s even here.  Tis indeed.

Jon Niese – I think he’s underseasoned like your Mom’s cooking, but he is in the NL and in Metco.  Matchups could work for him.

Rajai Davis – Rajai Davis is a buy and Holliday’s a Sell?  What’s the world coming to?  With Holliday out of town, Rajai could see more time.  SAGNOF!

SELL

Colby Rasmus – Rasmus was a sell two weeks ago.  With the Holliday trade, things are only going to get worse.

Kerry Wood/Chad Qualls/George Sherrill – The Trading Deadline Reaper may be cutting off their saves.

Ricky Romero – Really, I could’ve put any young pitcher here whose innings are starting to creep up.  Young pitchers will begin to get skipped and shutdown to preserve their arms.

Jarrod Washburn – Watching Washburn ‘09 vs. Washburn Oh-earlier in his career is like watching any Batman not directed by Joel Schumacher right after any Batman directed by Joel Schumacher.  Everything is pointing to Washburn being a solid starter going forward, but I can’t tell you to grab a guy that I wouldn’t grab myself.  I’m sorry, I don’t trust Washburn as far as I can throw him. (And I can’t throw him very far — I mean, look at my mustachioed picture — that’s actual size.)

Garrett Jones – Blasphemy!  I don’t think he’s going to hit another 9 homers in his next ten games.  That’s all I’m saying.  Don’t shoot the messenger.  (BTW, isn’t it weird how the phrase don’t shoot the messenger was out there since Shakespeare (thanks, Wikipedia!) then everyone starting going postal? It’s almost like postal employees felt too safe and abused their power.  Or not!  These are things for you to decide.)