Fantasy Baseball Advice

September 1st may mean autumn is around the corner for meteorologists, but you’re not Sam Champion, are you?  No, of course you’re not.  He’s handsome.  For us in the fantasy baseball trenches, September 1st means rosters expand and rookies are called up.  Unlike the September hitter call ups we went over yesterday, I’d use kid gloves with these call ups.  As Paula Dean might say, pitchers can hurt you, ya’ll.  If you need to take a flier on a rookie pitcher, tread carefully, young Razzball reader.  Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball, the pitchers:

Aaron Poreda – I’m crazy for HodgePadres, what can I say?  Actually, I just said it.  But even I’d be careful with Poreda.  In NL-Only leagues, yes, please.  Elsewhere, maybe home matchups.

Madison Bumgarner – Scouting the Unknown broke down, Madison Bumgarner.  Bumgarner will be one of those adds that everyone does and just about everyone regrets (this year).  Though I am prepping a giggle for when Bumgarner attacks Pujols with his number 2.

Tim Hudson – I heard this kid’s got good stuff.  Hope his call up goes smoothly, he might have a nice career ahead of him. /sarcasm

David Purcey – Blech.

Carlos Carrasco – I was bonkers for him in the preseason.  That’s the drawback to working without a net in December.  Carrasco’s hype I extolled was obviously a year too early.  Don’t worry, I’m go crazy for him again this offseason.  You’ve been caveated.

Hector Rondon – Is Wedge trying to get fired?  Are the Indians trying to lose?  Heffin’ hey in the screw hole, bring up Rondon and see what he can do.  Cause right now he do what he do and he do it in Triple A.  Over a 9 K/9 and under a 2 BB/9, which comes out to 42 Ks to 7 walks.

Wade Davis – For a while he looked better than David Price, then for a while he stopped striking out hitters.  And both “whiles” came in the minors, so there will be some growing pains, Kirk Cameron.

Dana Eveland – Had a long look last year and pitched well enough for AL-Only leagues.  Might have some matchup value in September.

Brandon Morrow – Not a rookie, but I think he can make a nice fantasy impact in September.  Worth grabbing in all leagues.

Todd Wellemeyer – He wasn’t that great when he was already in the majors.

Daniel McCutchen – What’s the chances the Pirates have another fantasy-worthwhile McCutchen?  Okay, combine those odds with the chances the Pirates have a worthwhile pitcher.

With September 1st knocking on August’s door — August 31st, is that you? Uh… No.  August 30th? Nope.  August 32nd? No, you nitwit!  It’s September 1st! – it’s time we looked at September call ups.  These are potential September call ups that will, should, could and potentially make or not make a difference in fantasy baseball.  Today, we’ll look at the hitters, then on Tuesday afternoon we’ll look at pitchers.  So tip out some of your malt liquor for the pitchers who aren’t here and take a drag on that Newport, cause Razzball’s Alive With Pleasure with September call ups, the hitters.  Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball:

Jason Heyward – I could shave words of praise in my merkin for Heyward, but it probably won’t do us any good.  If Heyward gets called up, he probably won’t have that large of a role in September.

Mat Gamel – He should be the every day 3rd baseman in Milwaukee in September.  At worse, he plays every day vs. righties.  He’ll be worth an immediate pickup in all leagues for a shot of adrenaline to your fantasy baseball heart.  Speaking of which, Inglourious Basterds… I was kinda bored.  Maybe it was my mood.  Not sure.  Just got sick of looking at slow push-ins.

Kila Ka’aihue – I was actually looking forward to the Hawaiia’an mash machine’s call up last November.  How’s that for prescience!

Jeff Clement – Oh, just call him up already, Pirates.  What are you waiting for?  2012?  He deserves to be up already and given a long look.

Buster Posey – Probably will see some time… In spring training.

Justin Smoak – Was broken down by Scouting the Unknown.  Smoak’s another guy I don’t think we see this year.

Chris Heisey – Should get the call up by the Reds.  Or not!  This is for the Reds to decide.  He has moderate speed and power.  Think 12/12.  In one month, think 3/3.  So, eh.  But keepers should stay alert.

Cameron Maybin – You need to put aside the differences you guys had back in April.  Maybin’s worth look in 12 team, mixed leagues if/when he gets his September call up.

Eric Young Jr. – If you need steals in NL-Only leagues, stash him immediately.  Also, Barmes may lose significant time.

Brandon Allen – Besides sounding like a furniture store, he has good power, has already been called up and has a legit shot of seeing a lot of time at first for the Diamondbacks in September.

Tyler Flowers – Sticking with the mall store names, Flowers may get called up in September, but his role will be limited like cumin in chili.

Jeff Larish – Yo, 70’s Bowie was Larish!  Wait, that’s not right.  Jeff Larish is an all power, heavy K 1st baseman.  He probably won’t see much playing time if he’s called up.  And he’s androgynous.

Krispie Young – Now there’s a hot rookie name!

Chris Davis – With the Rangers in the hunt, I doubt they give Davis the requisite at-bats he’ll need to continue his assault on the all-time strikeout record.  Though he’s capable of a huge month, so it’s worth a flier.

Brandon Wood – Yeah, Scioscia will play him.  And in other news, water is dry.

Austin Jackson – For all of youse out there with Don Mattingly pillow cases and “Jeter’s My Homeboy” t-shirts don’t do it. Put down Jackson for this year.