No intro today. I’m too busy eastwooding empty chairs around the house. I, too, want to scold that invisible Kenyan President for having the audacity of being born in the foreign country of Hawaii. If you need context, I’m not sure what happened the other day, but I was flipping channels and saw Clint Eastwood having a 20 minute stroke.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Lincecum has a 6.07 ERA. Seriously, we’re in July and Lincecum’s ERA is six point oh seven. There’s ugly. There’s brutal. There’s murderous. There’s the guy with the goiter down the street from you that you talked to at a red light once and now he wants to hang out.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Sveum told Rafael Dolis that they need him to fill in for Carlos Marmol, he took them way too literally. “So you don’t want me to walk everyone while blowing games? Totally mi mal!” That was Rafael Dolis talking through his translator who speaks Spanglish. “Can we get a translator who speaks English and Spanish…Separately!” That’s Sveum losing his shizz.Please, blog, may I have some more?
That sound you hear is my heart going a pitter patter for Brandon Belt. That sound you might also hear is Bruce Springsteen on my iTunes. He’s singing the September 11th Telethon version of My City Of Ruins. It gives me chills eleven years later. Now to completely sully that beautiful image, I keep hearing, “Now the sweet veils of fantasy… Drift through the evening news… Young men at my corner…Like scattered leaves… The boarded up closers… I can’t believe one of the injured closers wasn’t Huston Street… The hustlers and base thieves… My pants are down below my knees… Where’s my Belt? My team’s in ruins! My team’s in ruins! Come on rise up! I need a Belt. Come on rise up! I need my Belt!” At this point, I don’t care if Belt plays every day, he should be owned IN CASE (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) he plays every day. He’s capable of great things. Trust me, if you drop, say, Jason Kubel, you won’t regret it, but if you don’t pick up Belt you may. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Alfredo Aceves – How about we get SAGNOF out of the way right off the bat this week?Please, blog, may I have some more?
You smell that? No, not your armpits. That’s Opening Day. The real thing this time! I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee. I love you! I want to touch baseball’s boobies! They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies! I am gushing over baseball’s boobies! Grey, um, you’re writing this down; this isn’t your inner monologue.Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s no Reyes, Tulo or Hanley on this list of shortstops. This list is guys that can be had later in your drafts if you’ve punted shortstop or are still looking for a middle infielder. Look at this as a supplement to the top 20 shortstops of 2012 fantasy baseball. If you’re feeling especially adventurous, click on the player’s name to read more about them or to see their 2012 projections. I’m going to start this list of targets at the 141 ADP cut off. You say, “Arbitrary!” I say, “Why are you saying arbitrary to a computer screen? No one can hear you.” Anyway, here’s some shortstops to target for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Dee Gordon – Something I didn’t mention in the lede, but did mention in the lede in the 2nd basemen to target post is I am actually targeting these guys for my shortstop spot and not just for my MI. I tend to punt shortstop, not to the point where I’m looking to draft Ruben Tejada or Robert Andino, but to around 120 overall. I could have two 2nd basemen (one for 2nd and one for MI) before I start thinking about shortstop. There’s just very little value to found earlier. As for Dee Gordon, he could steal 70 bases and it wouldn’t totally shock me. I don’t think he does, but the fact he could makes him a must target in all leagues. He’s going at 141 on average at Mock Draft Central (see, it wasn’t that arbitrary). He could give you Michael Bourn’s stats at shortstop, that’s Bourn who is being drafted almost 100 picks earlier. (Bee tee dubya, who the eff uses the word lede? What, I’m a newsie?)
Emilio Bonifacio – Small ball theme going on here. Maybe we can get Whitey to send Willie McGee to our draft for us. Would be reminiscent of that deleted scene from Mask when Rocky Dennis goes for sushi and the chef commits seppuku.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We continue our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball. There’s no 2nd baseman in the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball. At least by my calculation. Some ‘perts are putting Cano in the top 10, but I see him just outside of the top 10, but then again 2nd base is packed to the rafters with production. It looks deeper than the 1st basemen pool and I’m only being half-facetious. It’s like all 2nd basemen slept at a Holiday Inn last night. There’s 15 guys I would take and if I had a middle infield spot on my roster, I’d definitely look to put a 2nd baseman in there. As with the previous ranking lists, tiers and my projections are noted. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The man who looks like the man from Man Vs. Food’s father, Lance Berkman, is on a ginormous Kaiser roll. Speaking of pastry, it’s not a coincidence that Lance Berkman’s initials are LB. When he got to St. Louis, he asked the cabbie where the second arch is and why isn’t it painted gold. If you think you have 2010 Konerko, you might. But you also might have the 2011 Berkman, which isn’t nearly the player the 2006 Berkman was. For Berkman, this is either a great month or it’s the beginning of a great year. When dealing with a player on the downside of his career, I invariably go with the former, if the former is the first one where I think it’s just a great month. At least when he was on the Astros, they could just play him at 1B so he didn’t injure himself in the OF. It’ll take an apocalyptic event for that to happen in St.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jordan Walden is replacing Fernando Rodney as the closer for the Angels. The Angels decided to drop a guy with two first names for a guy with two last names. Makes sense – you start a game with a guy with two first names, you close a game with a guy with two last names. (No bullpen backup plan for you, Jeff Francis!) (Oh, and don’t forget Charles (Jeff) Nelson Reilly in middle relief.) Walden should be owned in every league that counts things like saves. Seems like a Neftali-type situation. Walden has to lose the job back to Rodney. Fernando can’t win it back by just being good (as remote as that even seems). By June, Walden can be a Donkeycorn and never look back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kendrys Morales – Took BP. Where? To court for the oil spill? *rereading news report* Oh! Batting practice. That’s a good sign. If someone lost patience with Kendrys, I’d buy him for sixty cents on the dollar. No more though, he could be a setback away from missing another month.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Many things have changed since December when we kicked off the 2011 fantasy baseball sleeper posts. For one, the date. For two, some of these guys are no longer that sleepery. For three, hut-hut-hike! As long as you don’t reach too far, sleepers can make all the difference on your team. You’re not grabbing a sleeper in the first round. You’re not like, “Hey, Swiggy Cabrera, you go threaten death on the shot girl, I’m going with Juan Miranda.” You should have a solid foundation in the first eight to ten rounds, then mix some sleepers in after that. If you click on the names for these players, there’s entire posts about some of them with their 2011 projections. It’s magical! Anyway, here’s some sleepers for 2011 fantasy baseball:
Shaun Marcum – Member back in December when he was first traded and I started raving about him? We were younger back then and you had more hair. Also, Marcum was still sleepery then. Now? Not so much. Seems like everywhere I look people are abuzz with excitement over Marcum. Assuming you don’t pay too high of a price, he can still have value.Please, blog, may I have some more?