Fantasy Baseball Advice

Between the two middle infield positions, I tend to draft a 2nd baseman early and punt shortstop.  This happens for a few reasons.  1) 2nd base has more talent.  That’s right, I draft the deeper position earlier.  Same reason I punt catchers and try to get a 1st baseman early.  If a position is deep, a lot of your leaguemates are going to have one of the top guys.  You don’t want to be one of the 3 or 4 teams without a top guy.  2) There’s less difference between a middle-tiered shortstop and a bottom-tiered one.  3) Shortstops tend to give value with the steal.  You can find cheap steals later.  Most of the 2nd basemen on this list are going after the top 100 in your 2010 fantasy drafts.  This is a supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen of 2010 fantasy baseball. These are 2nd basemen that I’ll be setting the ol’ crosshairs on at my 2010 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2010 projections.  Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Gordon Beckham – He doesn’t have 2nd base eligibility yet, but he will after the first week and a half.

Ian Stewart – Aw, geez, I’m hyping this guy too much.  I just have a soft spot for a guy with a piddling average who can steal a few bases and hit homers.  Or maybe it’s a hard spot… Hmm…

Rickie Weeks – Everyone’s been burned by Weeks at least once in their fantasy baseball life.  The good thing (or bad thing, if you’re Weeks) is he’s 27 this year.  If he doesn’t make good in 2010, we’ll be able to write him off.

Scott Sizemore – He’s either going to be the most picked up guy in April, or the most dropped.  My money’s on picking him up.

Kelly Johnson – I don’t think I’ve seen Kelly Johnson mock drafted once.  Now, either everyone is keeping Johnson under wraps so not to tip off anyone in mocks or no one wants Kelly Johnson.  The latter is wrong, I tell ya.  W to the rong.

Eric Young Jr. – Yeah, I don’t know what his playing time will be like either, but I’ll say this… Actually, I’ll write it.  There’s at least a 50% chance of Young taking over for Barmes at some point in the season.  Don’t ignore Young in keepers.

Sean Rodriguez – This be me, “He was a utility man coming into 2009 and I wouldn’t be surprised if he left 2010 back in that role.”  I said that about Zobrist, the guy standing in the way of Sean-Rod.  BTW, The Way of Sean-Rod, best Jarmusch movie in a while.

We continue our 2010 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball.  2nd base is an odd duck.  Shortstops have speed.  You can find speed in the outfield.  There’s even some legitimate speed at 3rd base.  All of these 2nd basemen must have grown up watching Bret Boone and Jeff Kent because you’re more likely to find power at 2nd base than speed. Sure, there’s Brian Roberts, but he’s 32 years old and only stole 30 bases last year.  I want a 40 steal 2nd baseman.  Eh, maybe it’s just me.  As with the previous ranking lists, tiers and my projections are noted.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball:

1. Chase Utley – In the top 10 for 2010 fantasy baseball post is Utley’s projections.

2. Ian Kinsler – In the top 20 for 2010 fantasy baseball post is Kinsler’s projections.

3. Brandon Phillips – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Cano.  I call this tier, “Locks for certain stats.”  After just missing a 20/20 season in 2006, Phillips has put up one for three straight years.  Without a whole lot of luck, he’s not going to hit 30 homers and 30 steals seems out of his reach, but you’re kicking a 20/20 season out of bed from your 2nd baseman?  Please.  Phillips is a poor man’s Ian Kinsler.  2010 Projections:  80/22/95/.275/22

4. Brian Roberts – I haven’t been a fan of Roberts for the last two years because of his inconsistency.  Were you paying for a 50 steal guy?  A 40 steal guy? A 30 steal guy?  A 18 homer guy?  A 10 homer guy?  Finally, I feel like Roberts has figured out who he is (or I have).  A 12-15 homer guy with 30 steal speed.  There’s value knowing what you’re going to get and getting what you’re going to get… Hmm… That made sense in my head.  2010 Projections:  105/13/75/.285/30

5. Dustin Pedroia – Pedroia feels a lot less overrated this year than going into 2009, so there’s a chance that I might end up with him on a team, but it’s still not likely when I see some people rank him above Roberts and Phillips.  Roberts is 12-15 homers and 30 steals, Phillips is 20-plus homers, 20-plus steals and Pedroia is a 15/15 guy with great Runs.  Personally, I’ll take 20/20 or 15/30 over 15/15 every day of the week and twice on Muesday.  2010 Projections:  110/15/70/.305/15

6. Robinson Cano – Cano could be outproduced by Aaron Hill, but I ranked them in this order because I trust Cano more.  With Cano going to be the magical 27 years old in 2010 when power tends to peak, I hope Cano can pull a high-20s homer season out of his hat.  2010 Projections:  90/27/100/.315/5

7. Aaron Hill – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Zobrist.  I call this tier, “These 2nd basemen are being drafted like they’re locks, but I don’t think they are.”  I ranked Hill lower than most because I don’t believe the 36 homers he hit last year.  Seems like a reach for him to do it again.  There’s a good possibility I write an entire overrated post for Aaron Hill.  As I said in previous rankings posts, I look at other projections.  So, CBS has Aaron Hill down for 103/36/106/.287/8 in 2010.  Since last year he had a line of 103/36/108/.286/6, I’m assuming they think he’s going to be exactly the same minus one extra base hit that drove in two.  Say what you want about ESPN, Yahoo, etc, but CBS is by far the worst fantasy advice.  I think they are so bad they actually get some lenience from people because no one actually takes them seriously.  2010 Projections:  85/24/80/.280/5

8. Ben Zobrist – I know, it’s Zorilla!  How dare I!  Why do I have to hate on guys that have career years?  He’s ranked far below where he should be considering his numbers last year.  His position eligibility does give him value.  Shoot, I’d draft Lyle Overbay if you gave him shortstop eligibility.  Zobrist’s homers don’t seem as fluky as they might appear.  He maintained a 17.5 HR/FB in 2009 and a 17.4 HR/FB in 2008.  Granted, that was a smaller sample size.  So he may look like David Eckstein, but the only thing they have in common is neither is Jewish though their names sound like they are.  Zobrist’s average seems out there; he looks closer to a .270 hitter.  He was a utility man coming into 2009 and I wouldn’t be surprised if he left 2010 back in that role.  2010 Projections:  75/20/85/.270/12

9. Dan Uggla – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Lopez.  I call this tier, “These guys are okay, but they might give you fits of boredom.”  Uggla hasn’t had a full month of at-bats over a .300 average since May of 2008 when he hit .348.  That pretty much tells you all you need to know.  2010 Projections:  90/32/100/.250/3

10. Jose Lopez – He’s okay on your team.  He’ll work.  But it’s like masturbating to The Golden Girls.  It’ll get the job done, but why not switch the channel?  2010 Projections:  75/22/90/.275/3

11. Ian Stewart – This is a new tier.  This tier starts and ends here.  I call this tier, “The one guy I’d really like to have at 2nd base.”  I love Stewart this year.  First guy I feel like can completely outproduce his ranking.  If I could’ve ranked Stewart 3rd overall without having to give back my diploma from the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston, I would’ve.  Stewart feels like the Mark Reynolds of this year.  (That doesn’t mean a 45/20 line.  It doesn’t mean a guarantee.  Remember Reynolds looked like he was splitting time with Chad Tracy in the preseason last year.  It means a line like I thought Reynolds capable of in the preseason last year, around 30/12.)  Need I say more?  If you said yes, then proceed to the Ian Stewart Sleeper post-a-ma-whosie-whatsies.  2010 Projections:  85/29/100/.260/10

12. Asdrubal Cabrera – This is a new tier.  This tier ends at Weeks.  I call this tier, “This is your last chance to even try for something from your 2nd baseman.  With varying degrees of something.”  Asdrubal is a peak of 12 homers and 25 steals, while Barmes hit 23 homers last year with 12 steals.  So why is Asdrubal above Barmes? Good question, random italicized voice.  Barmes’s 23 homers last year looks fluky, while Asdrubal can steal 25 pretty easily.  Barmes’s over/under for homers is 15, while Asdrubal’s over/under for steals is at 20.  2010 Projections:  95/8/65/.300/20

13. Clint Barmes -  See Asdrubal Cabrera or 1/10th of an inch above.  2010 Projections:  65/15/75/.255/12

14. Rickie Weeks – He’s a lock for 20/20 but he needs 150 games.  That “but” is J. Lo-sized.  2010 Projections:  75/17/55/.255/15 in 120 games.

15. Howie Kendrick – This is a new tier.  This tier ends at Lopez.  I call this tier, “People will draft these guys, but I’m passing.” Frankly, I wouldn’t draft Kendrick with your team.  The upside isn’t interesting enough to me to warrant the gamble.  For instance, the best case scenario has him giving a Pedroia-type year.  Eh, it’s okay, but you’d be surprised how bored you get with a guy who’s offering 12/12.  2010 Projections:  85/12/70/.310/12

16. Casey McGehee – McGehee screams of a guy that is drafted and ends up on waivers by June.  His minor league numbers are utility man-ish.  He’s a cold month away from yielding to Mat Gamel, who is legit minus his glove.  And McGehee has no speed whatsoever.  He’s definitely more interesting at 2nd base than 3rd, but I’m passing.  2010 Projections:  55/17/65/.280

17. Placido Polanco – Don’t overestimate Crapolanco’s move to Philly.  He’s the definition of yawnstipating.  Literally.  2010 Projections:  100/10/70/.300/10

18. Felipe Lopez – The FeLopezian might be capable of 20/20, but it’s more likely going to be 10/10.  2010 Projections:  85/10/60/.285/10

19. Scott Sizemore – This is the last tier.  This tier goes from here to the end.  I call this tier, “Upside, snitches.”  As I’ve been saying for as long as I can remember.  If you’re late in the draft and you need a MI, take a flier on upside.  You’re probably going to drop one of these guys to waivers anyway, so you may as well take a shot on someone that can outproduce their oudraft spot.  I could’ve put Freddy Sanchez, Callaspo or Getz here (in that order), but what fun are those schmohawks?  re: Sizemore; been here, talked about this: Scott Sizemore fantasy post.  2010 Projections:  80/14/70/.275/16

20. Eric Young Jr. – Young can steal 40 bases in 2010.  Just give him the job.  Please.  Oh, and if he gets the job, it’ll play havoc on Barmes’s projections or Fowler’s or CarGo’s…  There’s only so much upside for one team.  2010 Projections:  65/1/40/.290/30

There’s a lot of names after the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball, but these two stand out:

Kelly Johnson – Already went over my excitement for  Kelly Johnson on the Diamondbacks. I ranked him this far down because I wanted to highlight him.  If I didn’t want to highlight him, I would’ve ranked him above Kendrick, but who reads the middle of these godforsaken posts?  Not me!  2010 Projections:  85/15/65/.270/10

Sean Rodriguez – Iwamura was sent to the 247th largest baseball market, Pittsburgh (which ranked just ahead of Nairobi).  Now Sean Rodriguez has a chance to see playing time.  Zobrist should start at 2nd base, but he can play everywhere, so Rodriguez could work into the mix.  Outside of deep leagues, you’re going to want to make sure Rodriguez has playing time before getting crazy with yourself and drafting him, but if he does have an every day job… 2010 Projections:  65/20/75/.250/5 in 400 ABs.

A two-week vacation did ol’ Grady’s elbow just dandy.  The inflammation Grady Sizemore has been feeling all year has subsided and there’s no need for now to resort to arthroscopic surgery.  That has to be a relief to fantasy baseballers who drafted G-Sizzle with their 1st pick.  So should there be concern that his elbow troubles will reappear? Um, we’re not experts in this area, but we’re pretty sure elbows inflame for a reason.  Unless the elbow belongs to Albert Pujols, it’s probably a safe bet that Sizemore will eventually get shut down or underperform.  What to do?  Not much you can do, except hope you can at least salvage a pro-rated 20/20 from him (or one of those no HR/surprise SB seasons like D-Wright and BJ Upton).   If you can trade him for 80 cents on the dollar (say, Alexis Rios, Granderson, Holliday, etc.), do it in a heartbeat…..Crazy that the most Grady player on the Indians might be Shin-Soo Choo. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Lidge – Threw a bit yesterday and is eyeing June 23rd for his return.  My crystal ball says on June 24th, I’ll be responding to comment #24 with, “Hold Madson for now.”

Johan Santana – Rick Peterson, former Mets pitching coach, said he’s heard rumors that Johan is dealing with pain in his surgically repaired knee.  And Willie Randolph said he heard a Jerry Manuel-induced charley horse is the root of Reyes’s leg problems.

Pablo Sandoval – 2 HRs yesterday, now has 8 on the year and batting .332.  Betcha wish you didn’t give up on him in April.  As I said so many times before, put a catcher in your catcher slot and press mute on your brain.  Yadier had a hot week! No, random italicized voice, stop with the noise.

Prince Fielder – 2-for-3, 6 RBIs as he hit the first grand slam of his career.  Big day for big men yesterday.

Shin-Soo Choo – 2-for-4, 2 steals and a homer.  9 homers and 11 steals on the year.  Get on the Shin-Soo Choo choo train!

Travis Hafner – HR yesterday.  Hey, maybe he got some HGH eyedrops too.

Mark DeRosa – HR yesterday.  Okay, pop quiz, hotshot.  Who has more homers V-Mart or DeRosa?  Hint, V-Mart has 11.

Torii Hunter – Left the game after colliding with the wall.  Last I heard, x-rays were being done.  Be crazy if they found some empty whiskey bottles.

John Lackey – 7 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks.  He cruised through five and a third like he was a Monte Carlo.  But in the last one and two-thirds, he looked like he was a Yugo.  When Andres Torres, career minor leaguer, took him deep in the 7th, Lackey looked out of gas/exhausted (either work for the similes).

Ervin Santana – Will miss one start with a strained muscle in his forearm.  Good to hear it’s not his elbow.  Bad to hear it’s another part of his arm.

Sean Rodriguez – HR yesterday as he got the start.  Hopefully, Scioscia sits him for the next week, then calls back Kendrick. (It’s reverse psychology, just go with it!)

So how was your weekend?  Mine included news that Jake Peavy could be out for as long as 12 weeks with a tear in his ankle.  Could’ve been worse, he could’ve hurt his ankle kicking me in the groin.  He was fitted for a cast the other day.  I’d like to sign his cast, “But your FIP’s a 3.00!”  Wasn’t it the flu stopping him from pitching last week?  What’s this, the influenzankle?  That’s some Nomar shizz right there.  As of right now, I’ve DL’d Peavy in all leagues where I own him, hoping for news that he’ll only be out the shortest possible time of 4 weeks or I’ll drop him if news comes out that he will miss the rest of the season.  Now begins the part of our program where I jump from matchup to matchup waiting for someone to stick.  Obviously it depends on the league, but, as of right now, I’m giving Dallas Braden a whirly-bird.  Braden gets the Dodgers and Padres this week.  If he’s good and his matchups are decent, I’ll hold him.  If not, I’ll move onto the schmohawk starter behind door number three.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Roy Halladay – His right groin is hurt.  He has two groins?!  The Blue Jays are hoping he can make his next start against the Nats.  I’m sure the Jays are not the only ones holding out hope.

Johan Santana – 3 IP, 9 ER.  Rumors are he prepped for this start with Livan Hernandez.

Mark Teixeira/Alex Rodriguez – Yanks scored 15 runs, these two went for 1-for-8 with one run scored.  Ticker Tease!

Brad Bergesen – Complete game, 2 ER.  Here’s one those guys I wouldn’t try and force onto my team just because Peavy was hurt.  Bergesen is just as likely to give up 5 in four innings next time out.

Derek Lowe – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Didn’t I just say he was about as reliable as they get?  Lowe obviously let my praise go to his head.  This start was so egregious, I’d think about sitting him next time out.

David Ross – Hit two homers yesterday.  Is it me or does it feel like David Ross has more two homer games than one home run games?

Yunel Escobar – Was pulled from the game after he botched a rundown.  After the game, Bobby Cox said, “Grrr.”

Ty Wigginton – 2 HRs yesterday.  Deep league spoiler alert!  Wigginton gets crazy hot at least once a year.  Maybe this is the start of one of those streaks.  He isn’t guaranteed playing time, so don’t try and jam him into your lineup in 12 team leagues just yet.

J.A. Happ – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Told you to loss him after his previous start.

Rocco Baldelli/Nick Green/Josh Beckett – All homered yesterday for the Sawx.  If you picked them in some kind of depraved, baseball home run challenge trifecta, you deserve the loot.

Corey Hart – 2 HRs yesterday.  Now 6 for his last 12 with two homers and one steal.  Helped that this was a day game, but he was still wearing his sunglasses.

Casey McGehee – HR yesterday.  Now 9 for his last 16 and occasionally batting leadoff for the Brewers.  He has no speed, but some light power.  Think 10 homers.

Miguel Olivo – 4 homers in his last 6 games.  He’s a liability on average, but while he’s hot it’s worth taking a flier for some pop.

Coco Crisp – Heads to the DL.  To take his place, the Royals called up Franken Berry.

Kosuke Fukudome – After batting .277 with one homer in May, he’s batting .135 in June with no homers and no steals.  On May 1st, I said to sell him.  Now, I’m saying why are you still holding him?

Jason Hammel – He was a one week flier to fill-in for Peavy last week.  He went 11 1/3 innings with 3 ER.  He gets the Pirates at home and the A’s in Oakland next so I’m going to press my luck.  Though I’m benching him for the Pirates game to avoid the whammy, then will start him against the A’s.

Chad Billingsley – 7 IP, 2 ER and his 9th win.  Oh, and he got stronger as the season went on last year.  Zoinks!

Nelson Cruz – On June 5th, I said, “…he’s just about at .300, that’s when the patented Cruz Stall takes over and he ends up back at .265 by June 20th.”  He’s at .278 and batting .200 in June.  Cust kayin’.

Frank Francisco – To the DL.  Is it me or does it seem like Frank² goes to the 15-day DL every 16th day?  C.J. Wilson will take over closing duties.  Or I should say he’ll continue closer duties.  Francisco is dealing with shoulder tendinitis, which is obviously not a great thing for a closer.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this is an ongoing issue for the rest of the season.  Obviously there’s safer closers out there than C.J. Wilson, but he could rack up some saves for the rest of the season.  SAGNOF!

James Shields – 6 1/3 4 ER.  Should’ve been a gimme today vs. the Nats.  Now sits at a 3.52 ERA on the year, so it’s not like he’s been terrible, but I was expecting more.

Dan Wheeler – Got the vulture Win yesterday, which is nice, but he’s not the guy the Rays are going to for saves.  At this point, I’d hold Howell for saves and no one else.  I’m currently holding Wheeler as an MR, but my leagues are hella deep.  He will be the first one to go if there’s a need to drop someone.

Scott Kazmir – Should be back soon.  If he was dropped by an impatient owner, I’d grab him just in case he gets his shizz together.

Jered Weaver – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  The Padres had five hits, surprisingly three by Adrian Gonzalez.  I say surprisingly because why is anyone even pitching to him?  Challenging themselves?

Juan Rivera – Coming off the heels of making Friday’s Buy/Sell, he hit 2 HRs yesterday.  I told you!  Then again, Kendry Morales hit two over the weekend and he was a sell. *sighs*

Sean Rodriguez – Kendrick got sent down and Rodriguez was recalled.  So what does Scioscia do?  He doesn’t start Rodriguez.  Brilliant!  I’d hold Rodriguez for a few more days to a week to see how or if he’s used.  Because if he’s used and starts hitting homers, you’ll want to be the one owning him.

Jose Lopez – With a 4 HR / 12 RBI June, he’s somehow on pace for 24 HR / 102 RBI, albeit with an Ugglay .247 average.

Ian Kinsler/Aaron Hill – Proof that if you’re going to take a 100 AB vacation, you’d best do it right after a hot start.  Last 102 AB for Kinsler:  .176/13/4/13/3.  Last 101 AB for Hill:  .248/6/3/11/0.

Garrett Atkins - Proof that if you’re going to take a 200 AB vacation, you’d best get used to sitting on the bench.  He hit 3 for 4 on Sunday for his ONLY start in the week.  Yikes.

Cliff Lee - A 3 H / 2 BB shutout against the Cards with a no-hitter bid broken up in the 8th inning by the youngest Flying Molina brother.  Only 4 wins this year but the biggest regression for him has been in his run support vs. his ERA (2.88 ERA).

Josh Johnson – Complete game win giving up 3 earned.  The box score doesn’t show it, but this start was a bit of a nail-biter.  More of a nail-biter than the Lakers clinching win.  Speaking of which, the Lakers didn’t even seem to care.  Pile on someone.  Dump a Gatorade jug over Phil Jackson’s yellow Malcolm X hat.  Fog up Stuart Scott’s coke bottle glasses.  Something!  What a bore.  Then again, I don’t like basketball at all.  How hard is it for any of these guys to dunk?  About the same as me throwing a piece of paper in the trash.  You know what I want to see?  A basketball league of five-seven and under guys.  Now that would be interesting.  Where’s the skill?  He made a layup… He better, he’s six-seven!  /tangent

There were signs…. He’d call Dexter Fowler, “Dudley.”  He’d call Todd Helton, “Tootie.”  He’d hit like a menopausal woman with no occasional hot flashes.  But you take the good, you take the bad…  It’s “Take the good” first!  Where’s the good, Garret Atkins?  It’s time to clean house and Atkins is the first one to go.  Here’s what I said in February in the rankings, “The Holliday trade to the A’s hurts Atkins value too.  And, frankly, for the last three years, Atkins was hurting his own value.  He’s gone from 29 to 25 to 21 home runs since 2006.  If you were taking the SATs, the next number in that sequence would be 17.  His slugging percentage has been following suit, as well.  The way Atkins is headed, he’s going to need 2nd base eligibility to have any value by 2010.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Atkins hit 2 home runs yesterday.  Sell!  Sell!  Sell!  He’s an average 3rd baseman who will probably be traded from the Rockies in the coming months.  Honestly, you’re probably be better off with Mark Teahen at 3rd.  Someone somewhere many years ago said Atkins is going to hit 30 homers because he plays in Coors and for some reason people have not stopped believing it.  It’s a crock.  You know who else is crizzap?  Troy Tulowitzki.  Who are you, Troy Tulowitzki?  I know, Stephen Drew; I know Ben Zobrist.  I do not know Troy Tulowitzki.  The Rockies are the new blech.  So it’s time to shake things up, right?  Yes.  For you and the Rockies.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy and Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Carlos Gonzalez – They’ll probably trade Hawpe to a contender and play Carlos Gonzalez full-time.  Or just sit Seth Smith.  The Rockies HATE Seth Smith.  (Caps for emphasis and the doode reading over your shoulder.)  CarGo’s a solid flier in deep, NL-Only leagues, especially keepers.  In mixed leagues, if you have room, I’d take the gamble because you never know and you might be able to flip him for a better, more reliable piece if he starts off hot.  He does have 15/15 potential, but he’s probably no better than Ben Francisco at this point.

Carlos Quentin - I don’t want to give you false hope and it’s always wise to be careful when dealing with injuries with injury-prone players — will it magically reappear in three days after you trade for him? — but I’m optimistic Carlos Quentin can come back from his injury and be productive.

Tommy Hanson – One of the few rookie pitchers that should be owned in every league.  Even 2 team leagues that have one man benches.

Andrew McCutchen – Think of him as SAGNOF and nothing else.

David Murphy – With Hamilton out, Murphy’s been starting every day.  He has a .357 average and two steals in the last seven games.  When Beltran went down, I grabbed Murphy on one team and I haven’t dropped him back to waivers yet.

J.P. Howell – Could be distancing himself from the Wheelerfourson.  In all of my leagues, I’m currently holding Wheeler and no one else from the Wheelerfourson.  If Wheeler doesn’t get a save opp in the next week, he’s gone too.

Ricky Nolasco – I’d bench him for his start on Sunday.  But I would pick him up.

Sean Rodriguez – What do the Angels do with a 2nd baseman who has 18 homers in 179 ABs in Triple-A?  Promote him and demote Howie Kendrick? ( I told you to get rid of Kendrick two weeks ago in the Buy/Sell — you can find old Buy/Sells on the left sidebar.  Print them out and wallpaper your brain.  Or save money on toilet paper.  You’re call!)  Or do the Angels promote Rodriguez, demote Kendrick, wait two weeks until Kendrick starts hitting in the Coors-like PCL and then promote Kendrick right back and demote Rodriguez again like they’ve been doing with Brandon Wood for the last three years?  Phew, that was the longest question in the history of words.  I think there’s a 50/50 chance of either scenario happening.  In deep leagues, you grab Rodriguez now so you don’t have to beat your entire league to the waiver wire.

Matt Joyce – Joyce is best known for, “A Portrait of the Power Hitter Who Needs Playing Time.”  Lost Quentin to injuries and Votto and Bruce to the dark side?  Joyce can give your team a power boost.

J.A. Happ – Extending his kiddie leash so we can see another start.

Randy Wells – After going through five starts with a 1.69 ERA and a .97 WHIP, it’s mixed league time, friends.  He’s been too good at this point for him to be sitting on waivers.

Gordon Beckham – Went over him yesterday.  Here’s the Cliff Notes version, “British 2nd baseman who’s married to one of the Spice Girls.  Once had a dalliance with the Queen.  Pick him up in leagues if you need MI help.”

SELL

Miguel Tejada – A resurgence at Latin 35?  Doode’s like 52 years old.  You know who else is 52?  Your uncle.  Can your uncle win the NL batting title?  Well, is your uncle Rod Carew?  No?  Well, there.

Torii Hunter – Was great for two months.  No doubt, Stefani.  But he’s not a 30/30/.300 guy.

Asdrubal Cabrera – We’re still friends of Asdrubal, but you don’t need to DL him.  Peace out, ‘Drubal.

Kosuke Fukudome – He’s the definition of yawnstipating.  5/4/.308 after two months?  That comes out to approximately eh/meh/okay by the end of the year.

Nyjer Morgan – He has 11 steals on the year.  Whoopie-farfennyjer!