In September, closers either mean everything or they mean nothing.  You either really need closers to catch the next nearest guy in saves or you have too much ground to make up and you’re secure in your standings.  If you fall into the former category, I’d grab anyone I could to get saves.  Hello, Juan Gutierrez, would you like to dance?  If you fall into the latter category, you can either start dropping brain freezes –  Joel Hanarahananananan, we had a terrible time together and now I will drop you.  Goodbye.  –  or just bench your lower tier closers to avoid getting Kazaam’d.  I’d only drop a closer if I knew no one could catch me in saves or if it were strategic.  For instance, I’ve been known to drop a closer because I know the guy with the high waiver claim can get him and catch the guy in front of him in saves, which will help me in the overall standings.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In the clubhouse after last night’s game, the Nats watched as ESPN reported Strasburg wasn’t pitching until Friday so there was nothing to talk about.  Nothing to say about Adam Dunn.  Nothing to say about that Zimmerman guy.  Josh Will-something… They couldn’t even remember his name.  The team stopped watching the highlights, upset they were nothing but Anthony Edwards to Strasburg’s Clooney.  Knowing something had to be done, Dunn left the clubhouse as he always had – by reaching up, removing the ceiling and climbing out.  Then he jumped on the back of a blue ox and circled the globe until time rewound to before the game.  Dunn then went out and hit his 18th, 19th and 20th homers while rocking a .280 average on the year.  Now after the game, ESPN reported Dunn hit 3 homers, specifying it came just two days prior to Strasburg’s next start.  Dunn shrugged, it was a start as he ripped the blue ox’s leg off and had dinner.  Hee-haw!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ian Desmond – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  Now has 6 homers and 6 steals on the year.  Ever heard of the slow boat to China?  Yeah, Desmond’s on the slow boat to 12/12.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The top 20, 40, 60 and 80 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball can be found under the 2010 fantasy baseball rankings.  For those of you who spent most of college like me here’s the Cliff Notes version of the starters.  If you click on some of the player’s names, you’ll see whole posts dedicated to these doodes with 2010 fantasy baseball projections.  Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Jonathan Sanchez – 200 Ks; ADP 200-something.  That’s like having extra butter on your movie popcorn and control over the artificial sour cream seasoning shaker.  Hint:  Take off the lid and pour it on.  It’s wonderful.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

How is it that the more money you make, the more money is guaranteed? You don’t see anyone tying someone up with a contract to wait tables at The Cheesecake Factory for $10/hour for six months. Even if they go four weeks without spilling a tray and have what is deemed a “career month!” There’s no Olive Garden Out Clause.

Please, blog, may I have some more?