I’m with Streamonator: Carlos Carrasco is your No-Brainer O’ the Day. (Not to be confused with your Darren O’ the Day, which is a fish submarine sandwich.) The last time Carrasco faced the White Sox, at home, it was to the tune of 1 ER over 7 innings, and this matchup is in the more pitcher-friendly Sox park. (Mind you, his last start versus the Tigers was a tad more worrying — still only 2 ER, but he struggled with command.) But today on FanDuel, he’s $10,300. And at the same time, the Giants are in Coors. I’ve set myself a silly challenge: to play Carlos Carrasco AND stack as many Coors bats as possible, all while plugging the remaining holes as cheaply (and well? Ha) as I can. And you’ll see that through my own stubbornness, I’ve created possibly the most lopsided FanDuel lineup ever, one that will need complete rejigging if any one of my players doesn’t actually start. Like George Michael, I may come to be filled with regret and (totally logical consequence to cheating on someone!) never dance again, but it’s not for nothing that my mother calls me Victoria Mary Quite Contrary. So here goes!

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Damn the Luniz bring back some great memories from High School, too bad $5 bucks today won’t even get you a quarter of a bag.  Effin inflation, now I know how my parents felt when they used to tell me how they could get a Coke or a scoop of ice cream for $0.25.  The good news is we can take $5 and turn it into $50 or $100 tonight if all goes right with this mix.  The bad news is there’s only five games to roster from, so we’ve got a limited player pool to choose from.  Coors is in play tonight, but I feel like the masses are going stacking and you know I like to zag when the play is to zig.  I’m taking the top two arms tonight: Jon Lester, $22,000 vs the Dodgers and Jacob deGrom, $18,000 at Phillies.  The Cubs are raising the World Series banner tonight and it’s the season opener in Wrigley.  The Dodgers are going to be coming off that Rockie Mountain High and needless to say Wrigley will be electric tonight, (please let the stands be electric and not the weather).  deGrom looked really good in his season opener, 6 innings, 6 Ks and 0 ER and I’m hoping he can get back to his dominant 2015 numbers.  Fun fact, current Philly hitters are hitting .190 lifetime vs deGrom and only 1 HR.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings, eh! Auntie Victoria — second girl writer and possibly sole British-Canadian Razzballee (hit me up in the comments if you too spell “favorite” with a “u”) — here with your Saturday FanDuel advice at the end of a long, weird week. In a world <movie trailer voice> where so far there have been four rain-outs! a flu epidemic! James Shields! Miggy yet to get a hit!, is it even safe to say “stack all your Dodgers and Rockies bats today”? In case life as we know it really has turned on its head, let’s look at some Beyond-Coors options, shall we?

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Coors Day! Beers flow, hits and runs are plentiful, can it get any better? Coors Day, unfortunately, is on the Early Only Slate and not the Main, which we’ll get to later. Just like almost every Coors Slate, you’re just trying to jam as many Coors bats into your lineup as you can with whatever other value you can find. But what do you do when Fanduel puts the value at Coors? Well, you play them everywhere, obviously. Today, Fanduel has graced us with the mispriced trio of Dodger lefty mashers all under 3k. Franklin Gutierrez (.363 career wOBA vs lefties), Kike Hernandez (.361 wOBA vs lefties) and Scott Van Slyke (.364 wOBA vs lefties) all hit like Adrian Beltre vs. lefties, and now they are at Coors and each priced under 3k? Are you kidding me? If any of these guys are in the lineup, you play them, and then sit back, drink your adult beverage and watch as the money rolls in. If you only want to use one, I’d probably keep it simple and just go with whoever hits highest in the order.

Now, on to the picks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unless you’re not into that, of course. And if you are, that’s cool, I’m not into it myself. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…anyhoo, Phillies can be ponies, right? But of course, we know that even with that reference, it still doesn’t work seeing as, well, look at the dang gif, y’all. You know he ain’t talking about equestrians. For those who still haven’t got it, it’s a sexual innuendo, or ‘inyourendo’ if you’re 15 mentally which I am so we’re good! Now that I’ve dated myself very badly, lets get down to dropping that synth-burp bass and talking up Wei-Yin Chen. Feels like we’ve been here plenty this year and the theme has been common and easy to follow. Here’s a quick flowchart:

Phillies Suck

You’re welcome for offering up the Staples button for ya because yes, that was easy. The Phillies have found a new low of late as they’ve even slipped beneath the Braves in wRC+ against southpaws, sitting at a lowly 64. They say it’s lonely at the top, but what’s it like sitting down there on the porcelain throne? Whew…Chen isn’t the safest get for the night based on his own stats on the year and his HR tendencies, but with the opponent at hand, I could see 6 to 7 Ks and it’s just a question of how many bombs he gives up whether that’s worth much. I’ll play him in cash and tourneys alike on such a smedium evening slate. But enough about bad 90s R&B, let’s move on. Here’s my Peyton Manning grooving hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run next Monday, July 25th, to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the season progresses, we get these lovely things called ‘stats’. And with those stats, as they build and build, we get ‘stabilization of stats’. But sometimes you’re kinda in between and gotta start reading some tea leaves to beat others to the rush. With that, I started looking at Taijuan Walker and his miniscule $6,800 price tag. I mean, minus his last start, his stats looked really solid for the year as I’m fairly certain his ERA was sub-3 prior to the debacle in Texas. Then I realized: he likes homeschooling. Maybe he’s just a young pitcher still learning the ropes. Maybe he lets it fly at home because he knows the ballpark helps. Whatever it is, his home vs road splits are night and day and thankfully he’s at home…which I think is day in that metaphor. Regardless, at home Walker is rocking a 3.48 ERA backed by a 3.51 xFIP. Top that off with an 8.93 K/9 and a 1.96 BB/9, and you’re looking at some fairly elite stats over 41 IP so far. Given the cost and the big arms on the mound, making Walker your SP2 makes a lot of cents (see what I did there!). So Walker with me will you as we take a look at my taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 13th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Despite my best efforts, I can no longer avoid writing about this week’s most added player, Cincinnati Reds outfielder Adam Duvall (68.9% owned; +45.8% over the last seven days). It’s not that I don’t like him. I actually considered writing about him a few weeks ago. After deciding to go in another direction, that opportunity came and went quicker than a patron at a pay by the hour hotel. Everyone seemed to jump on the Duvall bandwagon, and for good reason. Over his last 14 games, he’s smashed 9 homers to go along with 14 runs, 19 RBI, and a .268/.293/.786 triple slash line. If you want to go back a bit further, he’s produced a 24/14/30/1/.292 line since May 3rd (31 games). Those are numbers that’ll have his fantasy owners frequenting the hourly hotels on a regular basis. While he’s unlikely to maintain this blistering power pace for the rest of the season, Duvall hit 35 homers between AAA and MLB in 2015, and 30 homers across those same levels in 2014. The power is very much for real. The strikeouts (29.7% K%) are likely to keep his average in the .250 range, and while his on-base skills (.327 or lower OBP at every stop but one since 2012) and speed (10 stolen bases since 2013) are severely limited, 35 homers appears to be in his wheelhouse. Think of him as the NL version of Mark Trumbo. In competitive leagues, Duvall is likely long gone, but if his owner is interested in “selling high,” it’s worth exploring a trade if you’re looking to add some power.

Here are a couple of other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This week’s most added player in ESPN leagues, Oakland A’s third baseman Danny Valencia (63.8% owned; +36.4% over the past week), has undergone quite the transformation over the last calendar year. Prior to the 2015 season, he was just a part-time player who mashed left-handed pitching in the Ryan Raburn/Scott Van Slyke mold. From his MLB debut in 2010 through the end of the 2014 season, Valencia’s .870 OPS vs lefties far surpassed his .615 OPS against right-handed pitching. Since the beginning of the 2015 season, it’s been business as usual vs LHP (.907 OPS), but he’s improved considerably against RHP (.845 OPS). His ISO also jumped from .142 (pre-2015) to .225 (2015-present day) during that period. Hmm… a player displaying a huge power surge at 30 years old isn’t suspicious at all! Well, there may be a couple of reasonable explanations for Valencia morphing from Kelly Johnson into Ryan Braun at the plate virtually overnight. The first thing is the addition of a leg kick in his swing courtesy of former teammate and elite slugger Jose Bautista. The second thing is the opportunity to play every day. Valencia never received that opportunity until late last season in Toronto, and his performance during that time convinced the A’s to give him a shot as their starting third baseman. Through his first 14 games this season though, Valencia’s power disappeared, as he managed just a .353 slugging percentage with no homers and 2 RBI in 55 plate appearances. Maybe that power surge was just a fluke after all. After a DL stint at the end of April into the beginning of May, however, the power returned with a vengeance. Since returning on May 7th, Valencia has produced a .354/.360/.729 triple slash line, which includes smashing 6 homers across five games from May 13th-17th. He looks like a good bet for a .280 average and 15-17 homers moving forward, so add him if you can (or more likely, try to get him on the cheap via trade).

Here are a couple of other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Noah Syndergaard steps into a giant metal milk can and submerges himself.  At first, bubbles come up, then nothing.  Only Houdini has ever been able to escape this, and even then Tony Curtis struggled to keep his life in order afterwards.  The beautiful-despite-her-pantyhose girl locks him in.  Everyone watches, and Noah just sits there, locked in.  The audience shifts, then realizes this is what they want.  They want Noah to stay this locked in.  This locked in leads to Cy Young awards.  This locked in carries teams to championships.  One man stands in the audience and screams, “Grow gills and stayed locked in!”  The crowd erupts.  Harvey’s looked just okay, that other Mets pitcher put out the welcome Matz to opposing hitters and deGrom is battling an injury.  Syndergaard?  Oh, he’s so locked in.  Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 12 Ks and looked like he could’ve beat the 1927 Blue Jays in Coors Field.  If you own him, ‘gaard your grill and knuckle up if anyone tries to trade you for him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dodger-hat_logo-woolennium-Flickr

Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve got line-ups, charts, Slurpees, lube, a guide for beginner electricians, and even a cactus! Well, that’s a lie. That’s what Jay had last year sitting in front of him. This year? Um…a little less lube? Take that as you will. But hey, we’ve got teams to preview and questions to ask, so let’s hop to it. We a very special guest for this post…Daniel Brim, to provide his take on what the team has in store this season. Now enough rambling, let’s see what 2016 holds for the Los Angeles Dodgers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?