Fantasy Baseball Advice

Dallas Braden has 200 major league innings under his belt and his K/9 IP is a little bit over 5.  In 180 IP, that’s 100 Ks.  In other words, not good.  In other other words, blech.  In other other other words, there is no such thing as other other other words.  Dallas’s 10 Ks is more a condemnation of the Mariners’ hitting (were they wearing their fielding gloves instead of batting gloves?) than something warranting reevaluation of Braden’s status as an okay 4th/5th starter in AL-only leagues.  He’s not a mixed league option at this point.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ian Snell – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks.  Before you get any ideas, Ryan Sweeney is the A’s three hole hitter.  Ryan Sweeney sounds like the captain of your high school soccer team.  Kevin Kouzmanoff is the A’s cleanup hitter.  The Padres didn’t even want Kouzmanoff.  ‘Nuff said on him.  Ellis, Buck and Pennington is the bottom of their order.  That’s a lacrosse team.  Half of this lineup is playing the wrong sport. That’s why Snell pitched well, Baby Jessica.

Corey Hart – 0-for-3.  Jim Edmonds could’ve done that.

Casey McGehee – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs, HR yesterday.  I begrudgingly let Rudy draft him on one of our teams.  Not only did he hit a homer yesterday, but he did it against my Razzball pitcher, Greg Smith.  Dance, whammies, dance.

Rickie Weeks – 1-for-2, HR and a steal yesterday.  If he can stay healthy, he can do the same as Brandon Phillips.

Randy Wolf – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 Ks and the Win as he got the run support that eluded him last year.  This is the kind of start you’ll get from Wolf, maybe a little less on the Ks.  He’ll get similar results to the guy Doug Davis sees in the mirror if his mirror is set to 5 years ago.

Marcus Thames – 0-for-1, but as soon as the lefty was lifted Brett Gardner came into the game.  I wouldn’t let this affect my ownage of Gardner.  Yeah, ownage is a word.  I ownage mittens.  See?

Robinson Cano – 2-for-3 with a HR yesterday.  Earlier in his career (ya know, like 2008), he wasn’t great in the 1st half.  He shook that shizz off last year and looks to be doing it again.

Curtis Granderson – 1-for-4 as he batted in the nine hole vs. a lefty.  Why?  Because there is no ten hole.

Adrian Beltre – 2-for-4 and a steal.  It’s only two games (hey, Mr. Obvious, don’t forget to tell everyone you’re breathing), but Beltre has looked good so far.  If there wasn’t that whole righty-lefty thing going on in the Sawx’s lineup, Beltre should be batting above Old Papi.

Joe Mauer – HR yesterday.  Coming after I called him a schmohawk?  J’accuse!  Oh, wait, it was J. Saunders.  He also served one up to J. Morneau and J.J. Hardy.  J’figures!

Scott Kazmir – Says he should be ready to go next week vs. the Yankees.  He’s in the Bennis Carpensheeter family tree.  He’s the uncle who sells tea leaves at the weekly flea market.  Kazmir was solid with the Angels last year with a 1.73 ERA and 1.05 WHIP, but, as I tell my girlfriend, beware the small sample size.  It was only 36 1/3 innings.  In 111 innings last year with the Rays, he had a 5.92 ERA and a 1.54 WHIP.  His WHIP tends to be ugly and his FIP hasn’t been below 4 since 2007.  There’s the risk, now proceed if you like.

Nick Blackburn – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 4 Ks.  This was a good start for Blackburn.  That isn’t a good thing.

Jon Rauch – 1 IP, 2 Ks and his 1st Save.  Wouldn’t be weird to see him get 35 more of them.

Mike Napoli – Mathis started again.  Maybe Napoli can get the Italian-American Anti-Defamation League to make him their new cause célèbre or maybe they can get Napoli on Jersey Shore, Season 2.

Chris Johnson – 0-for-4 as he started at 3rd base.  Look at Ed Wade showing his toupee who’s the boss.  “Listen here toupee, I’m starting one of my no hype, no walk rookies!”  Toupee, “I want Blum back in there for game three.”  You know who the real loser in this is?  All of those fans that bought tickets to The Juice Box to see Geoff Blum play.  “But he was starting for Opening Day!  I need barbecue.  Stat!”  At 25, Chris Johnson led the Astros in homers in Spring Training.  I doubt he led them in walks.  In the minors, there were some years he didn’t even crack a .300 OBP.  In deep and NL-Only leagues where 3rd base is very shallow, Johnson’s a name to look at.

Wandy Rodriguez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Wasn’t the prettiest game, but can’t blame the Wandwagon when the only offense the Astros get is from Blanc0 Polanco.

Barry Zito – 6 IP, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Did I mention the Astros’ offense?  If it were a horse, it would be glue.

Adam Jones – 3-for-5, HR.  Mr. Jones is gonna be a big, big star.

Matt Wieters – 2-for-4, HR.  I will now shake my fist at the sky for everyone who drafted him last year and not this year.

Mike Gonzalez – 1/3, 2 ER, blown save.  RT @ScottDowns Managers don’t want lefty closers because of their precious matchups.  Don’t give them more reasons, Mike Gonzalez. #CureScottDownsSyndrome

Chase Headley – 4-for-9 and a steal so far this season.  He’s like Charley Lau up in this piece!

Everth Cabrera – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and a steal.  In the 7th, Everth Cabrera twisted his ankle.  In the 8th, he stole a base.  In the 9th, he explained what the hell was going on in last night’s Lost episode.

Chris Young – 6 IP, 4 baserunners, 0 ER, 5 Ks and not one baserunner stole against him.  I would definitely own him if he’s out there.  I’m not quite fully back with my confidence in him, but I was once a big believer.  Maybe if I see Chris Young’s likeness on a piece of gum my faith will be restored.

Adrian Gonzalez – Hit his 2nd homer last night.  He’s a big time 1st half performer.  If you’re gonna own him, now is the time.

Chad Qualls – 1 IP, 1ER.  Kazaam!

Dexter Fowler – 1-for-4 as he started for Seth Smith…. Or is it Seth Smith starting for him?  I’m so confused.  Pick one, please.  Or someone Tonya Harding Brad Hawpe’s knee.

Ian Stewart – 3-for-4, double, triple and home run yesterday.  FoxTrax unveiled a new feature in a similar vein as their controversial glow puck. When a home run ball leaves the yard, its trajectory leaves a rainbow.  It only works for Ian Stewart.

Jorge Posada’s going to hit 161 home runs (accounting for one rainout, of course), Granderson’s going to win the MVP and Big Papi still sucks.  Oh, and Beckett’s record will be 0-25-1. Yes, a tie.  My crystal ball doesn’t lie, don’t second guess it.  Spring has sprung and baseball’s back.  It’s a good time to be alive.  The flowers smell different, don’t they?  They smell like hot dogs.   Right now, I feel like putting some endangered Chilean sea bass on the grill, an Olde English in an oversized cozy and kicking back for the next six months while the sounds of baseball dance in my head.   Oh, and win all my fantasy baseball leagues; that would be nice too.  The number one thing you don’t want to do in the next few weeks is overrate anything you see.  You’re not winning your league in the first few weeks, but you can lose it.  As inviting as Brett Gardner seems right now, don’t drop A-Rod for him.  Even if A-Rod cheats.  Brett Gardner’s an intriguing name in deep leagues.  Just don’t jump out the window until you see how real the fire is.  On the other hand, don’t ignore what goes on these first few weeks.  This is when The ‘08 Nadys (<–great band name) get signed, but is also when the ’09 Bonifacios open for them.  Anyway, here’s what I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:

Jon Rauch – Officially the closer for the Twins.  Old news at this point.  But, as far as I’m concerned, old news is better than new news because saying new news sounds dumb.  Who are you, Starship singing Sara, Sara… Sara, Sara?  I get it.  One Sara would suffice.  No reason why Rauch can’t be completely effective as the closer, or effective until July when the Twins trade for Bell.  Rauch is a sneaky donkeycorn, which is redundant because all donkeycorns are sneaky.  It’s in their DNA.  In all the leagues I had Guerrier, and it was quite a few, I dropped him and grabbed Duchscherer.

Justin Duchscherer – When healthy, he’s pitched well.  When not healthy, you DL or drop him.  He’s a Bennis Carpensheeter.

Andrew Bailey – Limped off the field on Saturday with grabbing in his knee.  *sad trombone*  Bailey says he’ll be fine for Opening Day.  I say it’ll be a miracle if he gets through April healthy.  With Wuertz *pinkie to mouth* hurtz, I grabbed Ziegler and dropped Duchscherer in one league.  Yes, in the matter of two blurbs I’ve added two guys and dropped two guys.  That’s how I roll.

Gio Gonzalez – Named the A’s fifth starter.  I already dazzled your retinas with why to own Gio Gonzalez.  Gio’s 1980 Belushi wild, but he’s also pretty unhittable.  He could easily be the AL’s answer to Jorge de la Rosa.  Oh, and Gio pitches in a pitcher’s park.  Hello, melons, I like to squeeze.

Coco Crisp – Fractured his pinkie.  And the breaks keep coming for the A’s.  I mean good breaks.  Bee tee dubya, Fox didn’t crack the lineup even without Crisp.  Let us say, radicchio.

Jack Cust – Geez, is this an all A’s roundup?  Cust was designated for assignment.  Still… No Fox!  Eric Chavez will be the primary DH.  As far as Chavez can limp, DH may as well stand for designated hamstring.  Chavez doesn’t need Macho Camacho to knock him out, a strong gust of wind will do.  Fox will see his share of ABs this year.  Elias Sports Bureau said Jake Fox is the first super-utility man in the history of baseball who can’t play defense.  Actually, they didn’t say that, but something that was overheard this week in the Elias Sports Bureau compound, “On Monday, Peter, in accounting, imitated the dramatic prairie dog a record 17 times.”

Nate McLouth – Hamstring’s fine, will play on Opening Day.  This guy really fell off the map in drafts.  See no reason why he can’t give you a 20/20 season with a mediocre average.

Luis Valbuena – Bruised his hand and will miss a few days.  Grudzielanek will fill-in for him.  Somewhere the guy who has to sew the last names on the Indians’ jerseys groans.

John Bowker – Won the starting job over Schierholtz.  That’s like beating conjoined twins in a race to put on pants.

Scott Kazmir – To the 15-day DL.  No way!  C’mon!  Really?  He’s only supposed to miss two starts.  And I was only supposed to write a blog for a few months back in 2007.  Oh-kay.

Jeff Francis – Rockies placed him on the DL.  In other news, who cares?

Seth Smith – Will start over Dexter Fowler on Opening Day.  It’s only Opening Day, but Fowler’s value could take a hit moving forward. Unless we can somehow coax Brad Hawpe to run into a wall.  Smith’s a great pickup in deep mixed leagues and NL-Only leagues.  His bat has never been the issue.  Playing time has.

Aroldis Chapman – Sent to Triple-A.  He’ll be back at some point.  June is my guess.  Filling in for him is…

Mike Leake -The first 1st (geez, so much redundancy in this post) round pick to make it to the major leagues from last year’s amateur draft (you know, the one with Strasburg).  Leake has quality control and strikeout stuff.  I’d grab him in keepers and NL-Only leagues.  Just remember Homer Bailey was a highly touted pitcher and we’re still waiting for him.  For every rookie phenom, there’s a few roofies in your drink and you wake up in Guatemala watching a high school production of My Fair Lady.

Mike Jacobs – Staying in the “Mike” genre, Jacobs will be in a blahtoon with Fernando Tatis.  I understand the Mets are biding their time until Ike Davis is ready, but they couldn’t have went after a 1st baseman this offseason.  The Mets are a big market team, right?  Cause I could’ve sworn New York qualified for that distinction.  The Mets really need to move past minayal and get on with pain and guilt.

Dustin Pedroia – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and a HR yesterday.  He says he wants to go for 20 homers.  That would be a record for a Sparky Anklebiter.

Kevin Youkilis – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and hit his first and probably only triple this year.  Assist from Nick Swisher when his route to the Youk triple was through Beacon Street.

Josh Beckett – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Last year, his April ERA was 7.22.

CC Sabathia – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Another notoriously slow starter.  He’ll be fine.  Long season, yadda².

Brett Gardner – 2-for-4, steal of home.  You tell Raphael that Brett Gardner ain’t taking no jive from no Western Union messenger.

Jorge Posada – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR, one manly pat on the butt from Andy Pettitte.

Nick Johnson – 0-for-3, hurt himself on Friday, but played yesterday.  If you have Johnson on your team and you need him to stay healthy, it’s like needing farts to not smell.

Phil Hughes was named the Yankees’ fifth starter.  The good news, he’s a solid fantasy 4th starter with 3rd starter appeal.  He can put up over an 8 K/9 with a near-4 ERA.  Rudy’s Hughes’s (say that fast seventeen times) starter projections have him at 10-5/4.18/1.32/130 in 140 innings, which brings us to the bad news.  There’s no way the Yankees throw him for more than 140 innings.  That could mean instituting a new “Hughes Rules” doctrine, where he’ll be skipped on occasion, won’t throw more than five innings, won’t start after August, can’t eat after midnight, etc.  Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball news:

Aroldis Chapman – Dusty will be deciding between Aroldis, Travis Wood and Mike Leake for the fifth starter job.  Honestly, if you would’ve said, name the one that is not a professional baseball player out of these three:  Travis Wood, Mike Leake or Jimmy Fakename.  I would’ve had no idea.  Would love to get a glimpse of Dusty Baker’s decision making process for picking a fifth starter.  I know there’s equal parts eeny and meeny.  There might also be a dunk tank.   I’ve compared Aroldis to a young Randy Johnson.  Wanna see where?  Here, “His stuff is wicked awesome and his control is wicked awful.  But he wouldn’t be the first guy to struggle there.  Hello, Randy Johnson.  That’s a tall order, literally.  But he’s someone I’m excited about in keepers and deep leagues.  He should be owned in keepers from the jump.  In one year leagues, I’d take a flier on him in the final rounds to see if he breaks camp.  If he doesn’t, then you drop him. No harm, no foul.  If he does break camp, then you’re looking at a Volquez-type season.  Not great WHIP, decent ERA and great Ks.  Think 3.75/1.37 and a strikeout/inning.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Should you own Aroldis if you’re drafting this weekend, even with his starting job up in the air?  Yes, you should.

Cristian Guzman – Now the Nats are giving Guzman two straight starts to see if he can be the starter over Desmond.  Hopefully by Sunday we have some good news about Desmond.  Otherwise, I’m going to have a lot of hearts to cross out on my Trapper Keeper.

Brett Myers – Left the game after tweaking his left groin (hehe, Myers has two groins).  He plans to make his next scheduled start.  I’m avoiding Myers in all of my leagues coming out of drafts, but I could see grabbing him during the season.  The NL Central should have some nice match-ups for him and he’s always been capable of punching out guys (and girls).  A near-4 ERA and a 7 K/9 wouldn’t surprise me.  Will he be more valuable than Tim Hudson?  I could see it.

Ted Lilly – Rather than the late-April ETA, now looks like he could be back as early as mid-April.  Might only miss three starts.  Still, he’s coming back from shoulder surgery and has already complained of knee pain this spring.  I’m having a hard time buying.

Derrek Lee – He should return Friday, but he hurt his back yesterday after falling out of a chair.  The equipment man obviously forgot to get rid of the breakaway stunt furniture they had for Milton Bradley.

Scott Kazmir – Scratched with shoulder tightness.  Kazmir with arm troubles?  C’mon!  No way!

Emmanuel Burriss – Out for 10 weeks after having a screw inserted into his foot.  That never slowed down Number 5.

Russell Martin – Says he’ll be ready for the start of the season since his groin is feeling better (Thanks, Alyssa Milano!).  I’d never own Martin, but I think everyone who drafted him in the last week or so probably got a great bargain.  Martin’s still nothing but Crapolanco at catcher, but in the final rounds that’s nothing to sneeze at, unless you’re allergic to that sorta of thing.

Brad Lidge – Will be out at least a week of the season.  Madson should fill in for him.  Both should be owned in all but the shallowest of leagues.  In deeper leagues, I’d own Danys Baez too.  He could see some saves.

Brandon Morrow – Set to throw off the mound today.  Could be the final determination on whether he starts the year on the DL.  It sure wouldn’t be the first time.  He’s worth a stash on the DL but expecting more than 100 innings out of him is Fool’s Gold (which is not the Matthew I’m-Kinda-Gay movie).

Vicente Padilla – Before Padilla heard he was going to be the Dodgers’ Opening Day starter, this was him.  This is him after.

During our 2010 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone over so many flippin’ players I’ve lost track.  This is, I believe, the top 60 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball, but you’re best to check the title to be sure.   If it is indeed the top 60 starters, then you’re in luck.  Only a few more top 20 rankings posts.  What is it, February?  March?  Why don’t I have an app for this?  Or do I want a hashtag?  App ‘n Hashtag would be a good name for a 50s style diner with wifi.  As with the other rankings posts, tiers and my projections are mentioned.  Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball:

41. Clay Buchholz – This is a continuation of the last tier on the top 40 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball post.  This tier ends at Strasburg.  I call this tier, “Fliers that I’m willing to give a chance.”  Some might be confused by Cueto ranking before Buchholz, so let’s compare those two.  As linguists intended it, we’ll go B before C.  In 2009, K/9 — 6.65 vs. 6.93, BB/9 — 3.52 vs. 3.20, 25 years old vs. 23 years old, 190 2/3 career MLB innings vs. 345 1/3 IP.  2010 Projections:  14-9/3.95/1.34/155

42. Ervin Santana – Ervin’s 2009 was similar to Scott Baker’s.  He came out of spring training with an arm injury, but, unlike Baker and Stella, Ervin never found his groove.  This late in drafts I’m willing to overlook Ervin’s Gorilla Ponson impersonation last year.  2010 Projections:  15-8/3.75/1.28/185

43. Neftali Feliz – Already went over my Neftali fantasy.  2010 Projections:  9-6/3.30/1.26/120 in 20 starts.

44. Jorge de la Rosa – His appearance in this tier is solely because of his Ks.  Don’t believe me?  Throw your computer out the window, there’s no talking to you.  And to think we were friends.  2010 Projections:  12-9/4.15/1.34/200

45. Brett Anderson – Brett Anderson, the future ace, is not without caveats in 2010.  Innings jump was big in 2009.  The reason why I’m willing to take a late flier on him instead of, say, Hanson is because Anderson will come much cheaper in drafts.  Second caveat, Anderson really only had two months where he looked like an ace.  Though those two months were in the 2nd half.  If Hughes is in the rotation, I would switch these two.  So, I would take a shot on Anderson late, but I’d also be aware of the risk.  2010 Projections:  10-11/3.70/1.27/165

46. Phil Hughes – Won’t know until spring training, but my guess is it will be Joba in the rotation and Phil Hughes as a top 20 middle reliever.  Even if Hughes gets the starting spot, I could see him being limited on a strict innings count.  2010 Projections:  10-4/3.50/1.22/130 in 130 innings.

47. Joba Chamberlain – About time the Yankees take the ignition lock breathalyzer off the steering wheel and let Joba take his arm out for a drive.  Or put him in middle relief.  As of post time, it’s not clear yet.  2010 Projections:  9-6/3.85/1.34/160

48. Stephen Strasburg – Already went over my Strasburg fantasy.  The reason why I have him after Feliz is because of the kid gloves the Nats are going to be using with him.  The reason why I have him above some known commodities is because if he somehow breaks camp with the Nats, you’ve won the draft lottery.  Right after the announcement, you’d be able to trade Strasburg for a tidy haul.  Say, Billy Butler.  Now twirl your mustache!  2010 Projections:  6-8/3.65/1.27/110

49. Edwin Jackson – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Romero.  I call this tier, “Guys that I’m not drafting, but might pick up on waivers during the season if the opportunity presents itself and it probably will.”  When Edwin Jackson was traded, I said I might own him in the right circumstances.  I’m officially retracting that.  On closer inspection, I don’t want anything to do with him outside of matchups.  I was clouded by the thought of facing the Giants and Padres, but he was far too lucky last year.  I don’t think Edwin will be quite the 2nd half pitcher he was last year — 5.07 ERA — but I think that’s closer than the pitcher he was in the first half — 2.52 ERA.  Wouldn’t be shocked to see him have completely ownable stretches, but overall meh.  2010 Projections:  10-12/4.15/1.36/140

50. Joe Blanton – I owned Blanton for a good stretch last year.  Looking at my active stats, in 81 2/3 innings, Blanton gave me 6 wins, 3.31/1.18/59.  Awesome, terrific, adjective, but Blanton’s a pitcher you get off waivers.  You don’t draft Joe Blanton.  2010 Projections:  14-12/4.25/1.32/140

50 1/2. Jair Jurrjens – UPDATE:  Meesa tinks Jar-Jar having an MRI in the preseason is reason enough to ignore him.  Then throw in potential regression and it’s not worth the ulcer.  2010 Projections:  10-9/4.35/1.22/110 in 160 innings

51. Scott Kazmir – The Angels are planning on Kazmir filling in Lackey’s spot in the rotation.  Injury risk — check!  Falling K-rate — check!  Overrated for fantasy — we have a winner for the crapfecta!  2010 Projections:  14-9/4.30/1.38/145

52. Derek Lowe – The days of being able to own Lowe from start to finish look to be over.  He’ll have matchups appeal here and there, but you don’t want to draft him.  2010 Projections:  12-11/4.15/1.35/100

53. J.A. Happ – Meh K-rate, high walk rate, bad home park, lucky BABIP, insane amount of men left on base… Mr. Caps Lock says, “HAPP WAS THE LUCKIEST PITCHER IN THE MAJOR LEAGUES LAST YEAR.”  At some point it will Happen.  You don’t want to be there when it does.  2010 Projections:  12-10/4.35/1.32/155

54. Rick Porcello – A below 5 K-rate and a 45 inning bump from ’08 secures his place in the Do Not Touch tier.  2010 Projections:  9-12/4.15/1.32/75

55. Daisuke Matsuzaka – I gave up on Dice-K after his unbelievable 2008.  And by unbelievable I mean improbable, not superb.  2010 Projections:  10-7/4.50/1.38/150

56. Joel Pineiro – I’d recommend you hire Gary Glitter as a babysitter before advising you to draft Pineiro.  2010 Projections:  11-10/4.15/1.34/90

57. Randy Wolf – One the hardest things about doing these rankings is going over guys that treated you so well last year then having to write about how you don’t want any part of them in the new season.  When Wolf was traded, I said, “In 2009, Miller Park played as a pitcher’s park, but it’s more neutral than that. It’s no Coors, but it’s also no Metco.  Either way, Wolf was fortunate to have a 3.23 ERA last year and probably shouldn’t be counted on for anything below a 3.90.  Ownable, just not terrific.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2010 Projections:  14-12/4.05/1.20/155

58. Ricky Romero – To be totally honest, I almost put Romero in a tier with guys I would draft, but in the end, he’s not especially dominant, he’s in a tough division and he’s injury prone.  In an AL-Only league, I’d draft him, but in mixed leagues, I’d stay away.  2010 Projections:  9-13/4.50/1.48/155

59. Tim Hudson – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Correia.  I call this tier, “Boring, but ownable.”  On one hand, Hudson’s a reliable vet with a mid-3 career ERA, while a little light on Ks.  On the other hand, Hudson is returning from Tommy John surgery.  That brings with it risk similar to playing with your iPasties app near Carl Monday.  Face it, there’s really no sure² thing this late.  2010 Projections:   13-5/3.55/1.32/145

60. Kevin Correia – The first HodgePadre to make the starter rankings.  This goes without saying but it’s not going to be a fun year to watch the Padres.  Depressing, actually.  They should broadcast every game with Warren Zevon’s Keep Me In Your Heart playing in the background.  2010 Projections:  10-12/3.65/1.28/135

Jay Bruce has hit four homers in the last four days while hitting over .500 in the last week.  Now has 22 homers in only 74 hits with 73 Ks to go along with 3 steals.  I never thought Mark Reynolds would steal 24 bases.  I didn’t think he had 15 in him.  So, don’t take this comparison the wrong way, but Mark Reynolds is lucky he snatched up the Mini Donkey nickname because Jay Bruce looks like he could be headed that way next year.  Bruce is still very young, and his propensity to strikeout leaves him vulnerable to big slumps, so I won’t predict a huge breakout in 2010.   But he can hit 30 homers and steal 10 bases while batting .250.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Homer Bailey – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Now we’re getting to the point where he might actually be touted by the analcysts over at ESPN, which would mean his 2010 sleeper status could be in jeopardy.

Rick Porcello – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  He was in the borderline starters post for this week with a very mild recommendation.

Denard Span – 4-for-9 in the doubleheader.  Quietly having a very solid year.  Those Minnesotans are so modest!  He needs a spokesman.  His Wikipedia page is a third the size of the Wikipedia page for mutton.  He needs the mutton man!  His numbers are looking a lot like Victorino’s.  Let’s see, someone already has the nickname, Feign Victorino.  (I think I gave it to Fowler.)  So, Victorino’s The Flying Hawaiian.  Maybe The Flying Twinkie?  Hmm… That needs work.  Maybe The Flying Minnesotan?  Hmm, that sounds like someone on a roller derby team.  How about Wing Span?  Too cutesy?  Yeah, probably.  Forget it, this is a job for the mutton man.

Josh Hamilton – Shutdown for the season.  Back date this to April.

Mark Buehrle – Also shutdown for the season.  Back date this to his perfect game.

Jack Wilson – Lastly, shutdown for the year.  Back date this to the day he was drafted.

Ian Desmond – 2-for-4, HR and a steal yesterday.  He hit the longest homer (460 feet, which was not this homer, but I just heard this yesterday) for any Nationals player at home this year.  This is a team with Paul Bunyan aka Big Donkey aka Adam Dunn on it.  Ian Desmond’s a shortstop.  You ready for a math problem?  Come on, I hear Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years loves math.  Okay, here it is:  A shortstop that can hit a ball 460 feet + speed = Fantasy Sleeper.

Cameron Maybin – Speaking of fast guys with sneaky power, Maybin has two homers in the past 4 games.  I was pushing him last March for a reason, and I’ll be pushing him again next March.

J.A. Happ – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 Ks.  He has a 2.85 ERA on the year with 12 wins.  Is he generating Rookie of the Year buzz?  Is there such a thing as Rookie of the Year buzz?

Ryan Madson – 2 IP, 0 ER and his 10th save.  On Sunday, he got a four out save.  Manuel’s finally figured out how to make the set-up man comfortable in the closing role.  Start him in the 8th inning.

Huston Street – 1 IP, 3 ER.  Maybe he’s still injured?  I don’t know, that’s why I put a question mark on it.

Trevor Cahill – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER as the A’s continue to flummox me.  I might need to reach out to Bubb Rubb to see if he can counsel me.

Tony Gwynn – Has 4 steals in the last week.  SAGNOF!

Cesar Ramos – 5 IP, 1 ER.  The latest HodgePadre.  Okay, close your eyes for a second.  Don’t worry, I won’t pickpocket you.  Now imagine Adrian Gonzalez is traded to the Rockies for Ubaldo Jimenez.

Miguel Montero – 2 HRs.  Speaking of trades, hopefully the Diamondbacks move Snyder this offseason.

Scott Kazmir – Scratched to ready himself for the playoffs.  He probably won’t see anything more than a tuneup before the end of the season.

Curtis Granderson – 2 HRs with the 2nd being his 30th.  He also has 20 steals.  Sure, his average is .252, but don’t get so tied up in average.  That’s how you ended up missing Mark Reynolds this year.

Grant Balfour - Now has saves in back-to-back games.  This could mean he doesn’t see another save this year, or it could mean he saves two more games.

Wade Davis – 7 IP, 1 ER.  He’s still going to be too young and prone to major mistakes in the AL East for me to get that excited about him in 2010.

Adam Lind – 3 HRs yesterday.  Now has 35 homers on the year.  I already went over my Lind for 2010 campaign.

Clay Buchholz – Had a 3.21 ERA coming in, now has a 3.74 ERA.  7 earned runs in 5 innings is one way to make your 2009 stats look worse than they are.

Josh Beckett – Supposed to start on Saturday.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see him pitch 5 innings and then get pulled from the game.  Or as Dodgers fans say, “A Kershaw start.”

Edwin Encarnacion – Out with groin tightness.  Sounds like an injury that would sideline a porn actress.