Geez, Roy Oswalt has sure come a far way since the whole “I will only sign with one or two teams” stance as he signed with the Rockies. They’re not necessarily a bad team, but what pitcher wants to come out of semi-retirement to pitch in Colorado? It’s like Smokey the Bear coming out of semi-retirement to work at a cigar shop. “Smokey, we really appreciate the job you’re doing, but could you stop throwing buckets of water on our customers?” That’s Smokey’s boss at the cigar shop. Better yet, a pitcher coming out of semi-retirement to pitch for the Rockies is like I.M. Pei coming out of retirement to work at Home Depot. Roy Rockie Oswalt must’ve really got sick of driving his kids to school and needed something to do. Oswalt is going to assassinate his career ERA. Maybe Oswalt plans to drive his tractor to Colorado and haul dirt until Coors is at sea level. When your third best starter is a toss-up between Tyler Chatwood and Jeff Francis, you’re pretty much guaranteed a starting job, so Oswalt should be with the major league club shortly, but you shouldn’t care. I liked El Roy with the Astros, but it’s all rut-roh in Colorado. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, James Shields yields 15 Ks, 1 run, but a win ain’t won. Murray Chass just bid a penny on the world’s smallest violin on eBay so he can play it just for Shields. Murray had this to say, “When men were gristled, and ladies were more gristled, we had a name for yellow-bellies like James Shields.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week I was curious to look at what I call surprisingly high sluggers. No, I’m not talking about Geovany Soto. These are players who have at least a .500 slugging this year and fewer than 20 home runs. In order to try to limit some of the outliers, I only looked at players who had at least 300 plate appearances this year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive.Please, blog, may I have some more?
“That guy looks vaguely familiar.” ”Which guy?” ”That guy on the mound.” ”The Chris Tillman fella?” ”Yeah.” ”Did he used to serve us coffee at the Blue Danube?” ”I don’t think so. That guy’s name was Ronnie. And he had dreads.” ”But he was white.” ”Yeah, Ronnie was a white guy with dreads.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last year, the only type of starts and luck that Charlie Morton had was bad. Despite good stuff and pedestrian ratios (6.7 K/9, 2.9 BB/9), he put up some of the worst stats in recent history. A 7.57 ERA in 79 innings during the year of the pitcher! It was a 54 ERA+ (adjusted for park and era) which stands as the 5th worst ERA+ since 1945 for pitchers with 79+ IP. It’s hard to say how much of his .353 BABIP was because he threw down the middle or back luck but let’s just say the latter. It seemed like luck was balancing out in his first three starts this year as he went 2-0 despite throwing 6 Ks and 12 BBs in 22 innings. But excluding an ugly win in Colorado (where just about every non-ace should be benched), his last three starts – including last nights 5-hit shutout – have shown significant progress. In those 18 2/3 IP, he’s K’d 17 and walked 7. So let your league mates focus on his ghastly K:BB for the season while you get him on the cheap. I’d still bench him during bad match-ups but he looks primed to be a solid 5th/6th SP in shallow leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cliff Lee aka The Adverb got through the Gnats like a subject and a predicate. Pitches so sharp, Lee will cut your head off. Selig is the commissioner. You no wanna start Leezy, he is the Finisher. Stop playin’, he do it like a King do. Pitch! Lee flow like scuba, pitch, Lee’s bold like Cuba and The Adverb blow right through ya! Sorry, I kinda love that song and I’m not even a huge Lil’ Wayne fan. (Note: Rudy just read that and needs Chad Billingsley’s grandmother Barbara to help translate that jive like in Airplane) Any the hootie hoo! For fantasy purposes, there’s not much to say. The Adverb lit up the scoreboard… Brilliant Lee. He’s a number one. You knew that. Moving on, snitches. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aroldis Chapman – After first being reported here after inferring shizz from other news sources, Aroldis is being shutdown for a few days. Doctors are saying he got Dustied.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kendrys Morales was so busy running to the DMV to change his name that he will not be ready for the start of the season. This will give Mark Trumbo an opportunity to get some April at-bats. You say ho-hum, I say ho-hmm. Did you see what I did there? DID YOU!? Yeah, I’m not sure either. Trumbo hit 36 home runs in 139 Triple-A games last year. Sure, that was in the PCL which is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat. Still, 36 homers is nothing to sneeze at unless you’re allergic to power, upside rookies. In most mixed leagues, Trumbo’s not worth stashing. But in deeper leagues, I’d absolutely take a flyer that Kendrys has a few more setbacks. I mean, it’s already taken him way too long to recover. Who knows? Maybe Trumbo will Pipp Kendry and mash his way into a regular job. BTW, with the switch from Kendry to Kendrys, it seems like the “s” that Alexis Rios dropped when he switched to Alex has finally appeared. Be interesting to see where the “i” shows up at. I’m guessing there’s going to be a new San Fran outfielder, Cody Rossi. Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:
Scott Downs – Broke his toe. Downs goes… Um, Downs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
No, there’s probably no cast in Andre’s future. I’m not even sure they make casts small enough for the pinkie finger. That was Pingping‘s downfall, that and the chain smoking. After Andre Ethier broke a bone in his pinkie, he said something was seriously wrong. Seriously? You got a boo-boo on your pinkie! What, you can’t make shadow animals now? When he found out what it was, he said that it’s the leverage point of his swing and it would prevent him from holding the bat the way he normally does. Who’s leverage point is their freakin’ pinkie?! This is like the pea under the princess’s mattress. His biggest concern is probably how he can stick his pinkie out while drinking tea. Ethier could be out for a few weeks or he can play through it. So he’s damned if he does or a half dozen of the other… Or however that cliché goes. If it is his leverage point, you don’t want him playing through it. If he doesn’t play through it, he could be out at least a few weeks. And here I thought the only time Ethier and the word pinkie would be associated would be from this picture. Draw your own conclusions, but I’m guessing he’s in Key West. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Chad Billingsley – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. What every pitcher needs, a trip to Petco.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Dempster hits the DL with a broken toe. No word on how he hurt it, but Cubs fans are blaming Milton Bradley, Milton Bradley’s blaming an Italian Beef sandwich he ate in March but the Italian Beef sandwich refuses to play The Blame Game. Way to take the high road, Italian Beef sandwich! Dempster was at 5-5/4.09/1.37/89 through 105 2/3 innings. Now he’s out until late-July at the earliest. If you have a DL spot, go for it. With a non-arm injury, I wouldn’t be too concerned about Dempster coming back and doing pretty much what he’s been doing so far, which is, well, I just told you. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mark DeRosa – Went to the DL. It’s a move they were calling “precautionary” and they’re “very optimistic.” They expected him back right after the “All-Star break.” DeRosa wanted to play but the “doctors” “said” “he” “shouldn’t.” Hopefully, his “wrist” will be “fine.” Then it turned out there was a reason they put everything in quotes as it was all lies and he could be out for a month with a torn tendon sheath.Please, blog, may I have some more?