Scott Diamond

Scott Evans

Two-Startapalooza — Week 9

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 69 Comments

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Are you familiar with The Legend of Oso Blanco? It’s the very true story behind Evan Gattis, and it’s a must listen if you haven’t yet heard it. Even if you have, it’s still worth another run through. Atlanta sports radio 680 The Fan was on point with this bit, which should have some appeal among us here at Razzball. Thanks to Deadspin for bringing it to our attention. Anyway, two-starters… Week 9 features nearly a full-slate of action, so there are a shizzload of them to choose from. To help guide your two-start perusing, I’ve slapped together our usual tiered worksheet.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott Evans

Two-Startapalooza — Week 6

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 84 Comments

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Senior year of high school, I cheated on my final exam in religion class. Never got caught. Three others involved in the cheating scandal were each brought to justice — they failed the test, failed the class, and had to retake the course the following semester. Did I feel guilty about my actions? F*#k no I didn’t. I aced the test, and got a B+ in the class. It was the best grade I ever earned in religion. My parents were thrilled! Ever since then I’ve held a sort of admiration for those who cheat and get away with it, and even for some who didn’t get away with it. I respect he who is ballsy enough to cruise down life’s low road, while the rest of the chumps fight traffic on the high road. I’m halfway kidding, of course, but there are moments when the opportunity to cheat presents itself, and you’d be crazy to pass it up. Take, for instance, just a couple weeks ago, when Jeff Samardzija didn’t immediately cease pitching while his throwing hand bled onto the baseball, perhaps doctoring the ball. Well done, Jeff. And as for this Clay Buchholz situation, the evidence against him isn’t quite definitive, and it seems extremely doubtful that any real fallout is to come. More power to the guy if he was indeed doctoring the ball — the umps didn’t notice, and neither did the Blue Jays. He goes twice next week, by the way.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Headley Went From Awesome To Aw, Thumb

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 145 Comments

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That title is very confusing if you have a lisper reading it to you. Why you’re having someone else read it to you, let alone a lisper doesn’t make any sense. You can’t find a better-qualified Task Rabbit? Put down your soy capp-a-latte and find a better intern; you owe it to yourself. Last year, Justin Upton had a problem with his thumb. He hit 8 homers the first 4 months of the season. After he took off his hand guard and his thumb felt better, he hit nine homers in the final two months. Chase Headley doesn’t have Chase Field or Headley Field, for that matter. He also doesn’t have any offense around him. Literally. He’s hitting in front of Nadir Bupkis and behind Tumble Weeds Jr., and now he’s out for a month to six weeks, at least. I mentioned Upton because I’m trying to get through that thick melon on your shoulders how important hands are for hitters. Headley has gone from a high-ranked, 3rd baseman looking to repeat last year to a risky DL stash that isn’t much more than a corner man. In the top 20 3rd baseman for 2013 fantasy baseball and the top 400, I moved Headley way down. I wouldn’t touch him with his thumb, fingeratively. A fractured thumb is non-violent, but for fantasy it’s Headley. Double pun point! On a related note that’s a tangent closer than most of what you’ve read, Gyorko could move to 3rd base and might take an extra month to gain 2nd base eligibility in Yahoo leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2013 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tom Jacks

Battles To Watch: AL Central

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 6 Comments

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Gird your loins – we’re going to be navigating positions battles in each division. Last week, I covered the NL East. Today I’m talking about the AL Central, which actually looks fairly interesting this year. At first glance, the Tigers should run away with the division. At a slightly closer glance, the Indians, Royals, and White Sox all appear to be trying to contend. Who knows? Maybe Verlander’s arm will fall off after pitching over 1,000 innings across the past four seasons, while Miggy and Fielder enter a 24/7 all-you-can-eat buffet in Vegas and never return. Anyway, here’s some of the position battles to keep an eye on in the AL Central:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 22

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 21 Comments

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Let’s just skip the intro all together.  You’re scanning this anyways, let’s be honest.  I could put the deepest, darkest secrets of life and all its mystery in this first paragraph and you’re still going to skip it.  It’s cool… no hard feelings.  So without further time wasted and other hullabaloo, have a gander at the low end two-start pitchers for this week in fantasy baseball.  Good luck.  (Please note that pitchers and match-ups change.)

David Phelps (Tor vs Laffey, Bal vs Hunter) I saw the match-ups and my pants sorta don’t fit right anymore.  Innings and depth in games should be your only concern, that and making sure your pork is cooked thoroughly.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
LT

Fantasy Baseball Points League: The Up and Downs of the Rhino

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball, Points Leagues | 15 Comments

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Ever notice how frustrating fantasy baseball is? Just like real life. Fortunately, we have Razzball to make everything better. Fantasy baseball-wise that is. Not your life. That kind of help, you have to pay for. So, let’s get to it!

Josh Hamilton – Take a look at the numbers for the man formerly know as Hambino the past 12 games: 0, 0, -3, 4, 0, 0, 0 , DNP, 3, 10, 2, -2.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Paul Finally Looking Like Gold After Two Months Of Schmidt

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 424 Comments

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Paul Goldschmidt homered yesterday for the 2nd time in two games and third in his last four games.  He’s also hitting around .400 in the last week.  Goldschmidt may have had some Growing Pains, but don’t call him Tracey.  Neil Young and I have been searchin’ for a heart of Goldschmidt, and finally AuShizz is translating from German into actual stats.  Go for the Goldschmidt!  Now I ain’t saying Paul’s a Goldschmidtta.  There’s Goldschmidt in dar hills!  John Jacob Jingleheimer Goldschmidt, his name is on my waivers too!  Okay, breathe, Grey, you got puns… Breathe!  Remove the cigarette and put on the oxygen mask — stat!  Goldschmidt probably won’t hit above .250, but he can hit another 20 homers and have solid counting stats.  If an impatient owner dropped him early on when he was AuMess, I’d grab him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?