Fantasy Baseball Advice

He looks like a skinny Craig Wilson or an un-curly-haired Eric Byrnes. He’s got no one batting around him unless you count six schmohawks, a pitcher and the X-Man. Is Nate McLouth worth a pickup? Weirdly, yes. He is. Will he continue this? Well, my partner (not in a gay way) Rudy Gamble definitely thinks so. So I watched McLouth play against the Cubs and, not surprisingly, Rudy’s right. McLouth’s locked in right now and deserves a pickup. Weird, right? Unfortunately, he’s probably not available for you to pickup. Oh, yeah, and K-Rod’s injured. Okay, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Francisco Rodriguez - Seems to have injured his ankle. Justin Speier or Scot Shields? I think they turn to Shields because he’s been there longer. A loyalty thing. They might go with Speier. A who’s-better-right-now thing. Where I was able to, I picked up both until this shakes out. Where I wasn’t able to, I went with Shields.

Howie Kendrick - Left with a thumb injury, but it doesn’t appear serious since he stayed in for a few innings after injuring it.

Joe Borowski - Seriously? How is he still the closer? They don’t have one guy better than him. They have two. Borowski isn’t fit to pitch the seventh inning of blowouts. (BTW, after he blew the save by allowing a walk-off grand slam, they played that crappy American Idol song, “Bad Day.” Classic.

Joey Votto - Dusty put in Javier Valentin to pinch hit instead of Votto. Does this mean anything to you? It should.

Brad Lidge - Edwin Encarncion came close to proving Brantley wrong again and hitting another clutch home run. But it turned into a fairly unremarkable long out except, when Encarncion hit the ball to the warning track, Lidge dropped his head like he had just learned his wife left him for his sister. Seriously, Lidge might cry by the end of the year. Not great for a closer.

Felipe Lopez - Played left field. Well, I guess Acta forgave him for sleeping with his wife and threw him in the lineup. Does his value go up with outfield eligibility? No, not really. But if Felipe is starting coupled with his MI eligibility from last year, he’s worth a looksee. This doesn’t mean he’s starting every day yet. It’s at a wait-and-see right now.

Bartolo Colon - Not sure if anyone out there in AL-only leagues was waiting for him to return, but he just landed on the minor league DL with a strained oblique. Whatevs. You got bigger fish to fry with your team if you were waiting for Bart Colon.

Chris Snyder - Dropped to the eighth spot. Well, that didn’t take long. Oh, well.

Carlos Ruiz - He is killing me, cause in the preseason I named Ruiz to the All-Grey-Talks-About Team. There’s nothing worse than grabbing a player and holding onto him out of spite no matter all the signs saying drop him. It’s still early, but soon I might ask you to punt this puta.

Adrian Gonzalez - I sure hope he keeps up his torrid hitting. Unfortunately, he started really hot last year, as well. I’m beginning to think I might say A-Gone in a trade in June.

Brad Thompson - I bid $3 on him in my NL-only league. Just sayin’.

Matt Cain - That was the Padres! I wish I didn’t have to say I told you to stay away from the CainCum combo, but I did.

Wilson Betemit - Played short, replacing Jeter when he left the game with an injury. If Pretty Boy hits the DL and Betemit fills in, I think he’s an immediate grab in AL-only and a looksee in mixed.

Jose Valverde - He’s not a safe reliever. If I had a dollar for every time he burned me, I’d have three or four dollars. That’s all I’m saying right now.

Franklin Gutierrez - I’m worried; he’s pressing. Hopefully it doesn’t last too long or FraGu (<—-forced nickname) may find himself in the nine hole.

Mark Reynolds - I fingercuffed myself with him. (Fingercuffing — in relation to fantasy baseball — is when you have him on a regular team and also on your Fantasy Razzball team, which rewards sucking and striking out and overall crappiness.) Anyway, each home run and strikeout simultaneously pulls me in two separate emotional directions. Hence, fingercuffing.)

Nick Blackburn - He looked good again. And, to be honest, I still don’t know what to make of him. I don’t think he’s as good as he looked, but if you’re in a deep league and need pitching, you gotta take a flier, right?

Tom Gorzelanny - FYI, I dropped him in the one league I was in. Sure, it was only a ten team mixed league, but, well, now you know.

Ronnie Paulino - He’s not even starting against lefties now? Ugh. Good news for Doumit owners, bad news for Paulino owners (as if there are any). And, because I know the comments are coming, yes, I would drop Ruiz for Doumit if you can grab him.

Juan Pierre - Matt Kemp is being benched for him — for the third straight game! The Pierre Situation will have more victims than victors.

Tom Glavine - My hand that holds how crappy the Rockies were is lower than my hand that is holding how good Glavine was.

Rich Harden - He’s headed to the DL. Seriously, why bother?

Assuming you have already drafted your teams for this 2008 fantasy baseball season, these are the players you want to drop, add or simply hold onto for your fantasy baseball roster.

DROPS

Cameron Maybin – He’s gone. Might be in the minors until rosters expand.

John Patterson – After being released by the Nationals (how embarrassing!), he’s going to get another shot with the Rangers. Ugh. You don’t want any part of him, unless you’re into tall, long-haired hippies that are injury-prone.

Scot Shields – I love middle relievers, but he has forearm issues. Not worth it. Grab Justin Speier if you want to handcuff K-Rod.

Kelvim Escobar  – If you have a spot on your DL, then I guess hold onto him. If no room, drop his injury-prone ass, he might be done for the year.

Jay Bruce – Dusty Baker’s not playing him this year.

Homer Bailey – You’re waiting for magic in the NL-only leagues. Other leagues, look elsewhere. (Aside, if his name was John Smith, you wouldn’t have even drafted him. He’s got a great name!)

Evan Longoria – Braun was a special case last year. The Rays are cheap bastards and may call Longoria up in June or may wait even longer. I’m sorry, but you need someone else.

Chase Headley – Not happening here either. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets the call sooner than Longoria for two reasons, 1) Padres aren’t cheap bastards 2) Edmonds and Giles aren’t long for this world. Headley just needs to prove he can play some outfield.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – It’s with a heavy heart I report you should drop Salty. He’ll probably be up sooner rather than later, so you might have to pounce to get him back, but a catcher in the minors does nothing for you. Come back soon, Salty… (I am thrilled I won’t have to spell his name for a little while.)

ADDS

Carlos Villanueva – Brewers sent Vargas packing and handed his rotation keys over to Villanueva. Vargas really wasn’t that bad of a pitcher and he was having a decent spring. This says what you need to know about Villanueva’s talent.

Jayson Nix – If you need a 2nd basemen, he’s got the job in Colorado. I’d expect a decent value here. Think a young Marcus Giles. (BTW, Giles got old fast, right? I guess steroids do that.) For Nix, say 10/10/.270.

Edinson Volquez and/or Johnny Cueto – They’re going to be a hot add everywhere (in fact, I’ve already pimped them once) and the hype might exceed the results, but they’re worth trying on for size if you need a starter.

Matt Diaz – I’ve been telling you to draft him for three months now. The Braves are going to play him and he can hit .320 with some pop.

Carlos Gomez – He recently had a cramp in his hamstring and Punto took over for him, but the injury’s not serious. Not sure why he’s suddenly off everyone’s radar, but he is. He shouldn’t be. He can steal 50 bases, though he might strikeout 130 times. The Twins are committed to him and they’re a running team. This is another reason why I told you to not reach for steals in your drafts. Juan Pierre’s old; Carlos Gomez is not.

Joey Gathright – More speed if you need it.

Eugenio Velez – And yet more speed. Aren’t you pissed you drafted Juan Pierre, Willy Taveras or any of those other all-speed schmohawks?

Chris Snyder – If you punted catcher and you’re sick of looking at Pudge or Varitek on your roster, take a flier on the D-Backs backstop. He’s having a super-sized spring training.

Austin Kearns – I dislike Austin Kearns as much as the next person, and he’s burned me on many occasions, but he’s only 27. His road average last year was .301. The new Nats park might play like Coors East. You gotta take that chance. Just don’t drop anyone too precious.

Nate McLouth – He went 13/22 last year and he has a decent eye. He’s not going 40/40 with 150 RBIs, but you can do worse off the waiver wire.

Tom Gordon – Lidge is on the DL to start the season. Why not grab some free saves?

HOLDS

Josh Fields – He was sent down, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Crede gets traded or Fields ends back up in the majors very soon.

Brad Lidge – He was put on the DL, but he wants to play. He’ll be fine as far as the knee goes.

Manny Parra – He had a rough time of it in spring training, but he’s got a job for as long as Yovani’s on the DL, Parra will get a shot. Here’s hoping it goes well.

Andy Pettitte – He’s still having back issues, but he’ll still be good value for some wins.