Fantasy Baseball Advice

It’s time to take our beginning of the month look at all the fantasy baseball closers.  Here at Razzball we are always evolving like Saaphyri’s alliance on I Love Money 2, so I’ve added pluses and minuses in parenthesis for the movement a closer has had since the last time I went over them.  For example, if B.J. Ryan fell twelve spots from 10 to 25, he has a parenthetical negative fifteen next to his name.  If there was no change, no parenthetical.  I also removed the team they close for, because if you don’t know that, I’m not sure how much I can help you.  More than anything else, the closer list is constantly changing.  So you kinda need to follow along to my daily roundups, but if you like to have things all in one place, here ya go.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (+1) (Jesse Crain)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (-1) (Takashi Saito, Hideki Okajima)
3. Brad Lidge (Ryan Madson)
4. Mariano Rivera (Damaso Marte)
5. Francisco Rodriguez (J.J. Putz)
6. Joakim Soria (Joel Peralta, Kyle Farnsworth)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

7. Jonathan Broxton (Hong-Chih Kuo, Cory Wade)
8. Bobby Jenks (+1) (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton, Scott Linebrink)
9. Kerry Wood (+3) (Jensen Lewis, Rafael Perez, Rafael Betancourt)
10. Jose Valverde (+3) (LaTroy Hawkins)
11. Chad Qualls (+3) (Jon Rauch, Tony Pena)
12. Heath Bell (+4) (Mike Adams)
13. Brian Fuentes (-2) (Jose Arredondo, Scot Shields)
14. Kevin Gregg (+1) (Carlos Marmol)
15. Frank Francisco (+6) (C.J. Wilson)
16. Matt Capps (+2) (John Grabow)
17. Francisco Cordero (-9) (David Weathers, Jared Burton)
18. Mike Gonzalez (+2) (Rafael Soriano)
19. Brad Zielger (Santiago Casilla, Joey Devine)
20. Brian Wilson (-3) (Jeremy Affeldt, Bob Howry)
21. Joel Hanrahan (Saul Rivera, Steven Shell)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

22. Matt Lindstrom (+2) (Leo Nunez, Scott Proctor)
23. Huston Street (+6) (Manny Corpas, Taylor Buchholz)
24. Troy Percival (+4) (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour)
25. B.J. Ryan (-15) (Scott Downs, Jeremy Accardo, Jesse Carlson)
26. Jason Motte (-1) (Ryan Franklin, Kyle McClellan)
27. George Sherrill (-1) (Chris Ray)
28. Brandon Morrow (+2) (Miguel Batista, Chad Cordero, Roy Corcoran, Mark Lowe)
29. Carlos Villanueva (-2) (Trevor Hoffman, Todd Coffey, David Riske)
30. Fernando Rodney/Brandon Lyon (-6) (Ryan Perry, Joel Zumaya, Axel Foley)

It’s time to take our beginning of the month look at all the major league closers.  Some closer battles have not been squared away yet.  The Cubs are still holding Gregg over Marmol’s head, the Cards are still reluctant to say Perez, the A’s might split duties between Devine and Ziegler and the Mariners are looking forward to 2010.  Personally, I think the Cubs will split Marmol and Gregg 75/25, taking a little value away from Marmol and adding a lot of value to Gregg.  If Gregg gets any saves, he’s worth a spot on your roster.  I think Devine should and will be the closer for the majority of the year.   I think the Cards will go with Perez out of the gate and he’ll be the closer for the majority of the year.  Though his leash will be short, making Motte a good late flier.  Other good late fliers for the MR. B’s out there who are looking for saves are Jensen Lewis, Chris Ray, Wheeler, Balfour, C.J. Wilson and Corpas.   Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your 2009 fantasy baseball draft, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Jonathan Papelbon, BOS (Hideki Okajima, Takashi Saito)
2. Joe Nathan, MIN (Jesse Crain)
3. Brad Lidge, PHI (Ryan Madson)
4. Mariano Rivera, NYY (Damaso Marte)
5. Francisco Rodriguez, NYM (J.J. Putz)
6. Joakim Soria, KAN (Joel Peralta, Kyle Farnsworth)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

7. Jonathan Broxton, LAD (Hong-Chih Kuo, Cory Wade)
8. Francisco Cordero, CIN (Jared Burton)
9. Bobby Jenks, CHW (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton, Scott Linebrink)
10. B.J. Ryan, TOR (Jesse Carlson)
11. Brian Fuentes, LAA (Jose Arredondo, Scot Shields)
12. Kerry Wood, CLE (Jensen Lewis, Rafael Perez, Rafael Betancourt)
13. Jose Valverde, HOU (LaTroy Hawkins)
14. Chad Qualls, ARI (Jon Rauch, Tony Pena)
15. Carlos Marmol/Kevin Gregg, CHI (If it’s Marmol alone, he moves up these rankings. If it’s Gregg, he moves down.)
16. Heath Bell, SDG (Mike Adams)
17. Brian Wilson, SAN (Bob Howry, Jeremy Affeldt)
18. Matt Capps, PIT (John Grabow)
19. Joey Devine/Brad Zielger (Santiago Casilla)
20. Mike Gonzalez, ATL (Rafael Soriano)
21. Joel Hanrahan, WAS (Saul Rivera)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

22. Frank Francisco, TEX (C.J. Wilson)
23. Matt Lindstrom, FLA (Leo Nunez, Scott Proctor)
24. Brandon Lyon, DET (Fernando Rodney, Joel Zumaya)
25. Chris Perez, STL (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
26. George Sherrill, BAL (Chris Ray)
27. Trevor Hoffman, MIL (David Riske, Carlos Villanueva)
28. Troy Percival, TAM (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour)
29. Huston Street, COL (Manny Corpas, Taylor Buchholz)
30. Tyler Walker, SEA (Mark Lowe, Roy Corcoran, Miguel Batista, Richie Zisk, the Mariners Moose)

No, this is not the bottom of the Top 20 2009 fantasy baseball rankings barrel.  No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks.  Chillax.  It’s one post.  The only fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s phrase) that seem to pay attention to Middle Relievers are those that play in a Holds league.  This is wrong, I tell ya.  A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff.  (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.)  Say you had Aaron Harang last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Waking Joey Devine.  With just Harang, you had the unsightly dump of a 4.78 ERA.  With Devine and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.95 ERA.  Voila, snitches!  If you also carried Brad Ziegler, you had a combined 3.36 ERA.  Not to mention, you had saves when Ziegler took over for Street.  Middle relievers can also help balance out your junky closers.  Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 middle relievers for 2009 fantasy baseball:

1. Carlos Marmol – It should be Marmol closing, but I wouldn’t count on it.  Five virtual dollars say Piniella pulls the ol’ “Gregg has closer experience” card.  All Mr. B’s will be smiling.  2009 projections can be found at the top 20 closers for 2009 fantasy baseball post.

2. Joey Devine – If he becomes the closer, which he should, Ziegler doesn’t replace him at the number two spot.  I’d place Ziegler further down the list.  Devine’s 2009 projections can also be found at the top 20 closers for 2009 fantasy baseball post.

3. Jose Arredondo -  I don’t think Arredondo is a necessary handcuff for Fuentes owners.  I think Fuentes will be fine and I think Shields might step in for him even if he’s not fine.  Arredondo can be worthwhile to own anyway.  2009 Projections:  5-2/2.25/1.00/60, 20 Holds

4. J.J. Putz – He didn’t rank higher for me because I have no idea how he’ll react to being a setup man instead of a reliever.  I think he’ll be fine, but we shall see.  2009 Projections:  6-2/3.00/1.20/75, 15 Holds and 7 Saves

5. Hideki Okajima – Since the Japanese have their last names first, does that mean there’s a better chance Hideki Okajima and Hideki Matsui are related than Hideki and Kaz Matsui?  2009 Projections:  5-1/2.75/1.15/60, 24 Holds

6. Scott Downs – A lefty that can get out righties equals a guy who can find work even in a recession.  (Speaking of the recession, it feels like yesterday that everyone was randomly buying stocks simply because they started with an “e” — eToys, eTrade, eBay. The stock symbol is ERR?  That sounds wonderful!  Give me 500 shares!  Then, I got to the point where I bought shares just because I was hungry.  Give me 1000 shares of Boston Market and a breast and a thigh!  The moral of this story?  Don’t buy stocks on an empty stomach.  But I detour.)  2009 Projections:  4-5/2.50/1.20/60, 25 Holds

7. Scot Shields – Any true connoisseurs of middle relievers have owned Shields at least once in their fantasy baseball playing days.  His ranking now is more dependent on consistency, Ks and Holds than on his ratios helping you as much. 2009 Projections:  4-3/4.00/1.30/70, 27 Holds

8. Rafael Perez – Something happens to Wood, Perez might fall into the closing job.  2009 Projections:  3-3/3.50/1.15/70, 22 Holds

9. Matt Thornton – His K/9 rate is purdy.  2009 Projections:  4-2/3.15/1.10/75, 17 Holds

10. Dan Wheeler – When Percival accidentally steps on his glasses like Burgess Meredith in that Twilight Zone episode, Wheeler will step in.  He’s a good MR and a very good handcuff.  2009 Projections:  3-2/3.50/1.05/50, 12 Holds and 15 Saves

11. Grant Balfour – Don’t think Balfour steps in for Percy as often as Wheeler.  2009 Projections:  5-2/3.00/1.15/75, 22 Holds

12. Octavio Dotel – Strikes out a lot hitters and gives up a lot of home runs.  It’s like he only pitches to Dunn or Cust.  Hey, if Dunn and Cust are dining together and neither wants the reservation under their name they can leave it under K. Dunnst.  2009 Projections:  2-5/3.95/1.20/90, 20 Holds

13. Cory Wade – In the most random prediction of the 2009 preseason, I’m going to say Wade leads the NL in Holds.  How’s dem apples?  Delicious!  2009 Projections:  5-4/3.15/1.10/55, 30 Holds

14. Tony Pena – Pena always ranks up the Holds and might be a challenger for Cory Wade in the race for the most boring preseason prediction of NL Holds leader.  2009 Projections: 5-3/3.50/1.25/55, 25 Holds

15. Jon Rauch – I like Qualls for cheap saves in 2009, but you just never know when a guy gets the job for the first time.  His leash is usually a lot shorter.  I think Rauch would be his handcuff over Pena.  2009 Projections:  2-2/3.50/1.20/65, 20 Holds

16. Hong-Chih Kuo – If Broxton proves to be a Cuddle Boy then Kuo may end up with some saves too.  I don’t think Broxton will end up that way.  It’s a Cust Kayin’ scenario.  2009 projections:  4-2/3.25/1.15/65, 15 Holds

17. Damaso Marte – My favorite title I wrote last year?  Glad you asked.  I like this one.  Feel free to search the site and find your own favorite.  Anyway, I wouldn’t own Marte outside of Holds leagues, but in Holds leagues he’s in a good spot to accumulate some.  2009 Projections: 4-5/4.15/1.24/65, 25 Holds

18. Joel Zumaya – His walks and Guitar Hero skills worry me.  2009 Projections:  4-2/3.75/1.35/55, 15 Holds

19. Rafael Betancourt – Cuddle Boy.  2009 Projections:  Great MR numbers,

20. Kyle McClellan – He’s only here because he recorded 30 Holds last year.  I don’t think he approaches that number this year, but LaRussa always manages to get some “6th starter” a lot of Holds.  Pay close attention to who LaRussa’s abusing this year.  2009 Projections:   Holds, dawg.

After the top 20 middle relievers for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s lots of names, but two stand out:

Taylor Buchholz – I have my doubts about his breakout in two-oh-oh-eight and this is one MR I worry about  (that’s not worrying about an MRI, for those quick readers).  2009 Projections:  2-3/3.25/1.18/50, 20 Holds

J.P. Howell – Really came into his own out of the bullpen.  If only Thurston and Lovey lived long enough to see their son’s success.  2009 Projections:  3-1/3.25/1.18/80, 17 Holds

Brian Fuentes heads to the Angels, confirming some suspicions I had. The guy at Subway spit into your tuna? No, those weren’t suspicions, that was *spooky voice* paranoia.  While so many fantasy baseball ‘perts were appointing Arrendondo the closer of the Angels right after the K-Rod departure, I had my suspicions it was a bit premature.  Why couldn’t Scot Shields take over as the closer, I thought?  (Yes, when I think I do it in a Yoda-syntax. Deal with it!)  Just because Arrendondo was better didn’t mean he was going to be the closer.  Borowski and Todd Jones were the closers for too long when they weren’t the best men for the job.  Well, the Angels acquisition of Brian Fuentes made all of this moot.  (Sometimes I’m as bad as a Developmentally-Challenged Sandinista.)  Let’s look at Brian Fuentes for 2009 fantasy baseball:

Brian Fuentes – Becomes the closer in The Town that Bobby Grich Built as of right now.  Lest we forget, Fuentes is the same schmohawk that couldn’t hold off Manny Corpas, someone who then couldn’t keep the closing job.   Fuentes should be fine in SoCal, but Scioscia has no allegiance to Fuentes and he’s the type of manager that could let a $10 million/year guy pitch setup.   I think they call it ornery.

Jose Arrendondo – Arrendondo was the fourth best rookie pitcher in 2008. But with no closing job he has no value, right? (Not rhetorical, but it is a trick question.)  For anyone who has read this site for a while knows I’m a big time Mr. B.  So Arrendondo has value for me, even if I thought he’d be pitching the eighth inning only. If anything, fantasy owners should be rejoicing (Rejoice, ya’ll! We’re almost out of the naughts!). Now no one will want Arrendondo because they’ll think he has no value.  You know better, don’t you? (That’s a rhetorical.  Try to follow along.)

Next up, Mark DeRosa heads over to the Indians with his up and down staircase capitalization. (What is the deal with this up and down last name capitalization? Who started this? Can anyone do this? Can I just start writing Grey AlBright?) When I first heard about DeRosa going to the Indians, I yawned. Then I scratched my head. Then I wrote this:

Mark DeRosa – I’m glad he’s on the Indians now. I think people will see him out of Wrigley and a Cubs uniform and no longer overrate a player that was underrated. Let me explain, because I partially confused myself with that last sentence.  Going into 2008, Mark of the Roses was underrated and very useful.   Then in the winter, someone somewhere noticed that DeRosa had a good 2008 and he suddenly started getting hyped up.   Now that he’s moved to the Indians, people won’t know exactly what to think of him anymore and he’ll no longer be overrated.  He’ll simply be written off as a guy who had one good season.  Excellent, because it was a career year at 34.  Let’s be real, he’s not the second coming.  He’s barely a top ten 2nd baseman.  Think 15/65/.280. Speaking of 2nd base…

Asdrubal Cabrera/Jhonny Peralta – The Indians should have an Asdrubal Night where proctologists get in for half off. With the addition of DeRosa, Asdrubal will move to shortstop and Peralta will move to 3rd. This seemed to be happening anyway, as Peralta has been getting used to the hot corner in the winter leagues even before the trade, as I mentioned in the post on multiple position eligibility.

Aaron Miles/Mike Fontenot – Fontenot…. Theriot…. They sound like they’re going to be a defensive pairing on the Blackhawks.  Or a cheese pairing with Merlot.  Miles and Fontenot will split time at 2nd base.  Miles will cover the weak side of the blahtoon.  Mike Fontenot seems like a decent endgame bargain.  Since we’re talking about 2nd base or MI, I’d even call him a 2009 fantasy sleeper.

Yesterday Ramon Something-or-other hit two home runs. Ben Zobrist (a quarter Jewish, not too shabby!) hit two home runs. Others getting in on the action were Mike Hessman, Ryan Raburn (who sounds like he should be dating Angela Lansbury), Casey McGehee, Control Alt-Delete, Jeff Bailey, Francisco Cervelli, Cousin Jerri and lots of dudes that don’t even have pictures in their ESPN player profile so I just assume they all look like a young Micah Hoffpauir. With half of these guys, you don’t know if you’re watching your brother Rob or Disco Bob. You name ‘em, and they’re starting right now. Really bad time to be trying to make up some offense. Your absolute best bet right now is to load up on Brewers, Mets, Twins, White Sox and Phils. There is also something to starting guys that are going against these teams. Many times opposing managers will play their regulars as an unwritten law of sportsmanship. (Oh, no! I wrote it!)  Finally, look for guys that are going for personal accomplishments. For instance, Mussina goes this Sunday for his 20th win. The Yankees and Mussina will give it their all on Sunday. Everyone else, there’s no saying if they’re going to start. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mariano Rivera – Done for the year with a sore shoulder. I imagine Girardi’s so pissed at the mess Torre left him that he can’t even watch a movie that stars Paul Sorvino. Joba Chamberlain will close in Mariano’s place.

Pedro Martinez – Pedro really wanted to help the Mets in some big games. He’s not. It’s actually pretty depressing watching him pitch. He was incredible for some many years. Last night I kinda felt like I was watching him for the last time. Guys who carry around dwarfs aren’t supposed to go out like this!

Micah Hoffpauir – 5-for-5 with 2 HRs yesterday. He had a huge season at Triple-A this year and should see playing time this weekend. Definitely worth a look.

Scot Shields – Got the save yesterday and might get more this weekend as the Angels prepare for the playoffs.

Cliff Lee – Good chance he does NOT pitch on Sunday. (Supersized “not” is for our elderly readers. Hey, they’re showing Car 54, Where Are You? reruns! Ever notice how old people always specify when something is a rerun? Like we didn’t know a show that was off the air for 20 years wasn’t live.)

Mark Reynolds – Sets the strikeout record with 201 Ks. In the beginning of the year, Reynolds said he would not let striking out hinder his approach at the plate. Here’s the thing, Whiffie. 201 strikeouts kinda hinders your approach at the plate. Cust kayin’.

Anibal Sanchez – Lost his last start of the year to rain. Damn, Joba, stop dancing.

Troy Percival – Returned to action yesterday. Had this to say, “The run in from the bullpen is a bit much. Maybe we should bring back the bullpen cars.”

Yovani Gallardo – Did what was expected. Pitched well for 4 innings. Thankfully he didn’t reinjure himself. But there’s always the playoffs.

Carlos Gomez – 4-for-5 yesterday. Obviously he likes playing in April and September.

Kaz Matsui – 3-for-3 yesterday. He’s hit in 7 straight. Those chasing steals in these final days might wanna look at K-Mat aka Godzilla Jr.

Ichiro Suzuki – Supposedly some Mariners players wanted to knock Ichiro out. As in punch him and not stop. Here’s the story. Few things spring to mind — Point #1, All the players on that team and Ichiro is the one you want to beat up? The Mariners play the blame game as well as they play baseball. Point #2, Have any of them seen him run to first? Who was going to catch him? Carlos Silva? Which brings me back to point number #1. Beat up Carlos Silva! Point #3, Ichiro will crane kick your ass. Wax on, wax off, Jose Lopez.