The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month. With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it. No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard? Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be? No, of course, I can’t. It would be too easy. I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them. Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Scot Shields
As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD. Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joe Nathan and Huston Street are gone and everyone moved up. That’s why people like Matt Capps and Chris Perez have done little but squat on the john yet moved up the rankings. Though I still managed to find a way to not move up Brian Fuentes. The way we’re going there won’t be any $12 Salads by May. Then what? $8 Side Dishes? Who needs roasted cauliflower with truffle oil? Not me! I’m happy with a baked potato. Yes, sir! Hmm… Maybe I shouldn’t write these right before lunch. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss the value of middle relievers. I’m a big Mr. B. Depending on the team, I have various combinations of MRs. On one team, I have C.J. Wilson still. (Notched a Save and a Win in a doubleheader the other day — natch!) On another team, I’m rocking Dan Meyer. On another, Rafael Soriano. Besides having a guy that could take over the closing duties, middle relievers help lower your starters’ ratios. Mark DiFelice + James Shields = 7-4/3.01/1.15/74 or Jake Peavy, 5-5/3.67/1.13/84. That’s right, the Frankenpitcher of Jark DiShields is beating the pure breed Jake Peavy. So how’s dem apples? Delicious! Now in some cases, you just can’t hold a MR. Whether you’re besieged by injuries, need to handcuff one of your closers or need a bench hitter, sometimes it’s just not feasible. As much as I like MRs, they are invariably the first ones I drop on my teams when I need help somewhere else. Luckily, there’s always one available on waivers. If it’s not Jark DiShields, you can own Kiko Garzero or C.J.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss some closer trading strategy. As I mentioned the other day, I traded Street and some other closer for Haren. This might’ve put me at a disadvantage for saves. Now you’re probably thinking what the eff? This doode doesn’t even know who he traded or if it put his team at a disadvantage for saves. Well, that’s the whole point. Saves are the easiest commodity to acquire on waivers. Just last month, 10 closers lost their jobs, even if just temporarily. 10 out of 30 closers. So, frankly, I don’t care if I’m trading Qualls, Bell or schmohawk closer behind door number 3. Are some of these guys more reliable than others? Sure, but that doesn’t mean Jenks couldn’t have a meltdown tomorrow. They’re just closers. As for not knowing if I’m at a disadvantage, it’s real early and plenty more saves will come into the league. Not that many more Harens are coming into the league. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s time to take our beginning of the month look at all the fantasy baseball closers. Here at Razzball we are always evolving like Saaphyri’s alliance on I Love Money 2, so I’ve added pluses and minuses in parenthesis for the movement a closer has had since the last time I went over them. For example, if B.J.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s time to take our beginning of the month look at all the major league closers. Some closer battles have not been squared away yet. The Cubs are still holding Gregg over Marmol’s head, the Cards are still reluctant to say Perez, the A’s might split duties between Devine and Ziegler and the Mariners are looking forward to 2010. Personally, I think the Cubs will split Marmol and Gregg 75/25, taking a little value away from Marmol and adding a lot of value to Gregg. If Gregg gets any saves, he’s worth a spot on your roster. I think Devine should and will be the closer for the majority of the year. I think the Cards will go with Perez out of the gate and he’ll be the closer for the majority of the year. Though his leash will be short, making Motte a good late flier. Other good late fliers for the MR.
Please, blog, may I have some more?No, this is not the bottom of the Top 20 2009 fantasy baseball rankings barrel. No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks. Chillax. It’s one post. The only fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s phrase) that seem to pay attention to Middle Relievers are those that play in a Holds league. This is wrong, I tell ya. A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff. (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.) Say you had Aaron Harang last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Waking Joey Devine. With just Harang, you had the unsightly dump of a 4.78 ERA. With Devine and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.95 ERA. Voila, snitches! If you also carried Brad Ziegler, you had a combined 3.36 ERA. Not to mention, you had saves when Ziegler took over for Street. Middle relievers can also help balance out your junky closers. Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper. Anyway, here’s the top 20 middle relievers for 2009 fantasy baseball:
1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Brian Fuentes heads to the Angels, confirming some suspicions I had. The guy at Subway spit into your tuna? No, those weren’t suspicions, that was *spooky voice* paranoia. While so many fantasy baseball ‘perts were appointing Arrendondo the closer of the Angels right after the K-Rod departure, I had my suspicions it was a bit premature. Why couldn’t Scot Shields take over as the closer, I thought? (Yes, when I think I do it in a Yoda-syntax.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday Ramon Something-or-other hit two home runs. Ben Zobrist (a quarter Jewish, not too shabby!) hit two home runs. Others getting in on the action were Mike Hessman, Ryan Raburn (who sounds like he should be dating Angela Lansbury), Casey McGehee, Control Alt-Delete, Jeff Bailey, Francisco Cervelli, Cousin Jerri and lots of dudes that don’t even have pictures in their ESPN player profile so I just assume they all look like a young Micah Hoffpauir.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
