Sam Demel

Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 52 Comments

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Neftali Feliz is now a starter.  Or is he?  Emphasis on the ‘or.’  Or is it on the ‘is?’  You’ll never know!  Muahahahahaha… Yeah, I don’t think Feliz is going to be a starter.  They got to the World Series the way things were, you change that?  Ogando or O’Day or Oliver or… What’s with the O names?  Here’s a sneak peek of a post title for the first game one of these schmohawks blows a game, “Rangers Say O’Shit.”  Any the hoo!  Washington has said he likes Feliz getting the final three outs.  I think Washington gets what he wants, but I suppose anything’s possible.  For that reason, I’m dropping Feliz down the closer ranks.  The other big loser since the last closer look is Drew Storen.  I think he should be the closer, but the Nats are hesitating about calling him the closer.  If he secures the job, he’ll move back up the charts.  For now, he has some risk.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 54 Comments

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Aw, sookie.  Our first look at all the closers for the 2011 fantasy baseball season.  That is a bird on your window and it’s singing Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.  I went over Kevin Gregg signing with the O’s when it happened and Putz to the Diamondbacks.  I didn’t go over Frank2 signing with the Jays, but he’s the closer and that’s all I’m saying on that for now.  I have bigger fish to fry in this intro, The Rays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 108 Comments

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In September, closers either mean everything or they mean nothing.  You either really need closers to catch the next nearest guy in saves or you have too much ground to make up and you’re secure in your standings.  If you fall into the former category, I’d grab anyone I could to get saves.  Hello, Juan Gutierrez, would you like to dance?  If you fall into the latter category, you can either start dropping brain freezes –  Joel Hanarahananananan, we had a terrible time together and now I will drop you.  Goodbye.  –  or just bench your lower tier closers to avoid getting Kazaam’d.  I’d only drop a closer if I knew no one could catch me in saves or if it were strategic.  For instance, I’ve been known to drop a closer because I know the guy with the high waiver claim can get him and catch the guy in front of him in saves, which will help me in the overall standings.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jeremy’s Spoken

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 188 Comments

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Okay, I’m officially in love.  ‘Grey hearts Jeremy Hellickson‘ is going all over the Trapper Keeper.  I’m going to put a paper bag on my Science book and decorate it with Hellickson pictures I find off the internet.  Then if someone says something, I’m going to punch them in their big, fat mouth.  Then while in detention, I’m going to write a song for Jeremy Hellickson and I’m going to get my friends band, The Quadratics, to perform the song at the Sadie Hawkins Dance.  That’s what I’m going to do.  His line yesterday 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks in only 86 pitches.  His line last time nearly as good.  His line tomorrow?  The moon!  Though he’s not pitching tomorrow, but, if he were, he’d have the moon.  I’d grab Hellickson in all leagues.  He has a nice K-rate and solid control.  A terrific combo.  Could he go out next time and roofie you?  There’s always that chance, but his next start is the Rangers at home and they’re not exactly road scholars.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Dan Johnson – 0-for-1, 4 BBs.  He has 3 hits and 11 walks since his call up last week.  He has a .176 average and a .483 OBP.  He’s the one true outcome hitter.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 144 Comments

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Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny.  It’s the bullpens, ya’ll.  Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt when he tried to get the A’s replacement closer in his fantasy league.  That’s a true story in opposite world.  On the top of the rankings, Wagner made himself a $12 Salad.  On the bottom of the rankings, I wanted to move Chris Perez into the Donkeycorns, but he needs more time in the role first.  He’ll be a Donkeycorn by September.  Mark my words!  But don’t mark them on your computer, that doesn’t come off.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 171 Comments

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For the first time in over two years, Jonathan Papelbon is no longer a $12 Salad.  I know, call your Congressman.  Pass Prop 12.  There’s been signs for a long time that he wasn’t the same closer from 2007.  I didn’t want to move him because he seemed like the epitome of a $12 Salad.  Overpriced lettuce?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Edinson Rediscovers Electricity

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 314 Comments

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Last summer, something felt wrong for Edinson Volquez.  He said it was his arm.  Dusty gave him two after-dinner mints and said they were “reconstructive surgery,” then threw him for 160 pitches.  Unfortunately, the mints didn’t take.  Dusty blamed Edinson’s inability to believe.  Neverthehoo!  (I’m trying to get neverthehoo to stick, go with it.)  Edinson went for Tommy John surgery, or as they call it in the Tommy John household, “my surgery.”  Usual recovery time is longer than his current 11 month timetable, but all signs point to him returning in the next few weeks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?