Later, Hawai’ian. Hello, Eric Hosmer. Or as Hosmer might say, “W’oh!” In Triple-A this year, Hosmer had 3 homers and 3 steals in 98 ABs. Year before, 20 homers, 14 steals between Double-A and High-A. Bye, A! The average has been great too. He looks like Votto to me. To take that comparison past the point where it’s still making sense, Votto had 24 homers, 7 steals and a .297 average his first full year. He was 24 though, Hosmer is 21 — I’ll pinch your cheeks you’re so young, you! If Hosmer hits 24 homers with a .297 average this year, I’ll shave my ‘stache, glue it to the middle of my forehead and tattoo lips below it. He’s just a bit too raw. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t own him everywhere. You take the rookie flyer because if it pans out the trade value inflates like Butler’s moobs after he drinks a quart of milk. Conservatively, I’ll give Hosmer 17 homers, 6 steals and .280. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Lyon – Lyon was the lead until Hosmer got the call. Rudy came up with titles and everything, so you get a bonus lead-in today. Discarded titles were, “Lyon Sent To Vet,” “Lyon Caged, Astro Fans Rejoice,” and, “Astros Stop Lyon To Themselves.” Lyon has a torn rotator cuff. They should get the doctor that made Lee Majors bionic cause Lyon needs all the help he can get. Mark Melancon is the man to own in Houston, though the word out of the 5th ward is Ed Wade’s Toupee is trying to lose every game the rest of the season, or at least his GM’ing makes it seem that way. Seriously, he can’t even pick out a decent toupee and he’s going to GM a major league team? He looks like a Computer Science teacher who’s still teaching BASIC. Melancon isn’t the meow’s cat or anything. His fastball is kinda whatever, but he gets some Ks, groundballs and Lyon is out. I’d own Melancon everywhere, he could run with the job all year.Please, blog, may I have some more?