Trevor Plouffe is returning from the DL and that’s big news because it’s big news.  If you would’ve jumped out of a DeLorean back in March and told me I’d actually be writing a lede for Trevor Plouffe, let alone just a lede because he’s returning from the DL, I would’ve told you there’s no way Plouffe would warrant a lede and this is the information you bring back from the future?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yankee pitchers haven’t been hit this hard since Ed Whitson ran into a Billy Martin drinking jag.  You know, Yogi’s always the one quoted from the Yankee archives, but Billy had some good ones too.  Here’s my favorite, “I’d like to mouth f*** that bottle of whiskey.”  Before the Yankees game, CC Sabathia hit the DL with an abductor strain in his groin.  Someone’s got clams!  CC is supposed to be fine to go right after the All-Star break, as long as no one else tries to shuck his groin.  Then, once the game got going, Andy Pettitte was hit in the ankle with a comebacker.  Pettitte is supposed to be out for 6-8 weeks.  At least he didn’t pull a Zumaya during his retirement and hurt himself playing Guitar Hero (or, more likely, Guitar Praise).  The Yankees’ rotation now has plenty of room for anyone the Cubs, Astros, Padres or Brewers want to give trade them.  I did the crossed out text thing, I’m a jerkoff!   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Daniel Hudson – Torn UCL.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

R.A. Dickey went seven and a third innings with no runs and eight Ks as he dueled Wang.  Dickey vs. Wang was the greatest sword fight since Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme both arrived at the same tanning salon in the late 80′s.  In this game, surprisingly there weren’t that many dribblers through the vas deferns.  Streamers would have to wait until later in the day with Leake.  The game started with the Nats putting a giant zipper in the outfield for each pitcher’s entrance.  Then the knuckleballs came early and often and showed a polished Dickey.

Please, blog, may I have some more?