Thank God Apollo Creed was played by Carl Weathers and not Khris Davis. The reason I say this is because when Balboa Switched to Southpaw in the last round of Rocky 2 Davis would have killed him! Khris Davis (OF, $4,100) is a cyborg sent to Earth to destroy lefty pitching. (A Cyborg huh? That’s a bit overly dramatic don’t you think?) No seriously he is!! Allow me to explain. This season Davis has a .452 wOBA against lefties with 6 homers, 16 Rbi’s, and a wRC+ of 191. Davis’ wRC+ against lefties is more than double what it is against righties. Lucky for Davis, The Brewers, and most esspically us Daily Fantasy Players he faces a lefty tomorrow….a bad one. Christian Friedrich is a lefty who in 17 career starts has an ERA of 6.15. He also has a HR/9 of 1.49 to go along with a tidy 3.28 BB/9, what I’m more or less saying is the Brewers stack is very much in play today. The only way this matchup could setup any better for the Brewers is if the game was played in Coors with metal bats filled with super balls. I think Carlos Gomez (OF, $4,500), Jonathan Lucroy (C, $4,600), and Aramis Ramirez (3B, $4,900) are all solid plays today. I’d suggest Ryan Braun (OF, $5.600) but his price tag is too high considering his numbers against lefties are the worst of all the Brew-Crew members named.

Now time for my shameless plug!

If you’re not playing daily fantasy baseball with us on Draftkings you’re missing out. Not only will we hook you up with a ticket to one free game just for signing up. Once you’re on you’ll have the oppourtunity to play head to head against some of your favorite Razzball writers in the contests we’re running daily. We’ve been filling up a 20 team league the last couple of nights and the competition has been great. I’ll make sure to post the link below. There’s also no need to fret about who to start because with our daily columns and advanced tools like the DFSbot, Hitter-tron, and Stream-o-Nator. In other words we got you covered.

Without Further Ado my Draftkings picks for June 26th 2014.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It was a good night for a rally, but a bad night for a closer. Summer is officially here which means we can no longer use the “he’ll heat up as soon the weather warms up” excuse for our struggling stars. And just as the air at Coors makes the balls fly higher, the increased temperature and humidity also causes those baseballs to travel even farther. This time of year the advantage tends to shift from the pitchers to the hitters. It’s science, Mr. White! Fact. Just go ask a scientist. He’ll tell you summer is coming, Jon Snuh, no need to look so depressed all of the time. Perhaps this explains why last night, on Summer’s Eve, a number of closers collectively decided to destroy your ratios in an all out Closer Catastrophe. Let’s start with Zach Britton (0.2 IP, 3 hits, 4 ER, 1 BB, 1 K, BS (2)). I haven’t seen a Yankee beat a Britton like that since the Battle of Saratoga. Revolutionary war joke! (NERD!)  With nine saves in the past month, it’s hard for Britton’s owners to complain here, so let’s move on. Old Reliable Glen Perkins (1.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 1 BB), was handed his third blown save but managed his third win, in expert vulture stylez. The crowning jewel of last night’s CloserTastrophe, Aroldis Chapman (0.2 IP, 2 hits, 2 BB, 4 ER) was handed the loss after a five run ninth inning capped off by a 3-run HR by Edwin Encarnacion. Say it ain’t so, Roldy! Is no one safe? With Craig Kimbrel (1.0 IP, 1 hit, 2 BB, 1 ER) notching his fourth blown save I should think not. Anthony Rendon hit a game-tying HR (11) off Craig, the first homer Kimbrel has surrendered all season. Are you getting scared yet? Was there a full moon last night or something? How about Greg Holland (1.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 BB, 2 ER) taking his second loss. This one was tied when he entered but stillz. By this time in the night when I saw Kenley Jansen (0.2 IP, 3 ER, 3 hits) enter the game with one run lead, I knew it could only end poorly. Escape while you can, Kenley! Fake a stomach cramp or something! He was handed his third blown save of the year. Sure, I’m ignoring all the closers who did manage to notch saves last night, but that’s not the point. It was a tough night to be a closer, but an even tougher night to own one in fantasy baseball. I feel your pain, all.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t mean to just go on and on about my fake teams or how well I’ve been doing lately, but damn, your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru is on fire. The turban is smokin’! Last night I nearly doubled my bankroll and won a little side wager in which our resident Razzball Radio host must wear a T-shirt of my choice on Thursday’s show. That’s almost as satisfying as cash. Almost. With a few more Benjamin’s we’ll be one step closer to a winter of fun in the sun with enough left over for bail and a possible liver transplant. Thanks, Obamacare!

Have you been partaking in the DraftKings fun? Why not, don’t like money?! Get out of here, hippie! Your friendly Razzaholics even provide you with some of the best tools in the biz: Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron and the mighty DFSbot. Use them and buy us a round later, you know, after the liver has healed up.

DraftKings has eight games on the early slate, seven games on the evening schedule and three late games tonight. There are some high over/unders for KC/DET, MIN/BOS and MIL/ARI that we’ll be targeting today.

Let’s get to it and you could be joining me for sunshine, umbrella drinks and thong watching come December. Here be some of the Guru’s picks for Wednesday, June 18th contests on DraftKings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Daily fantasy brings a whole new dimension to the we look at fantasy players.  We’re getting used to streaming pitchers which has become a great strategy being implemented over the last few years, but daily fantasy takes it to a whole new level.  You don’t have to drop anyone to pick up the man of the hour, knowing that his long-term value will be equivalent to Lenny Dykstra’s business ventures.

If you get off watching a pitcher dominate like I do, then you’ll appreciate the pornutopia of starters going today.  Masa-Hero, Darvish, Greinke, Cueto, Scherzer, and Wacha are all on cam today.  If I gotta pick two, I’m taking Cueto and Tanaka.  Darvish has been lit up by the A’s, almost to the extent I want to stack against him today.  Greinke and Wacha have been a bit shaky lately and, besides his last start, so has Scherzer and the Royals bats are about as hot as it gets in baseball right now.  I’m rolling the dice on Roenis Elias today.  He’s had some rough ones lately as well, but he’s also had some dominant outings including a complete game shutout with 8 Ks against the Tigers just ten days ago.  And the K’s seem real as he boasts nearly 8 K/9 this year.  He also has the most tasty matchup on the slate today facing the Padres who get nothing right against lefties as they mutter a .598 OPS against them this year which is marginally crappier than anyone other squad.  A price tag of $8,000 climaxes the excitement with dough to blow on some other nice pieces.

Hopefully, you’ve been playing along with us at Draftkings so far this year.  If not, c’mon and join us cuz we’ve been having daily leagues for the last two weeks thanks to the zealous @RalphLifshitzbb who’s been heading it up.  We aren’t wagering huge, but just making sure to have some fun with $1 on the line each day.  Come on and hang out and test your mettle with us.  Here’s a link to our fun little cash game today.  The Razzball community only gains strength as we reach out to more avenues.  If you haven’t signed up yet use this link cuz you’ll get a free contest to start building your stack.  Here’s a few more highlights of today’s DFS best offerings:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Before I start, I want to try another experiment for this series. I feel as though I am biased in writing articles on players I choose. I probably go through five or ten players before I find the one I want to write up. So what I want you, my loving audience, to do, is give me player suggestions for the upcoming week. Just leave a comment below with a player or multiple players. I will try to pick one of the more popular responses. There are only four rules:

  1. The player can’t be any I have done in the past (although I am breaking my own rule this week).
  2. The player can’t be out for the rest of the season, because I know some of you would look for any loop hole and suggest Jarrod Parker, Avisail Garica, or any other Tommy John candidate.
  3. No speculation articles on minor leaguers.
  4. Don’t pick obscure players; I won’t be writing on Chone Figgins or Kevin Quackenbush (I bet he got picked on in school).

If you just want me to keep doing my thing my way, that’s cool too. Alright, here is the post:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I think any one of us that spent their 20′s seeking inebriation and adventure had to deal with their share of Sausagefests. You know the ones where your buddy did a great job of collecting all of his brethren to come over on a Saturday night and play Beirut, pound brews, and act like the cocky jerkwads we all are. The problem with these casual get togethers was always the same. Said friend, let’s call him Fred, overlooked one major component of any good college party. Girls! No one wants a 5 to 1 pee-pee to va-Jay-Jay ratio, not even the va-jay’s. Because the bottom line issue is no one wants to spend all night competing for the attention of the same 6 girls. It leads to redundancy and an overall lack of what we all seek, adventure. The same is true for Draftkings. I think we’ve all had nights where the pitching options are thin. Nights where there’s one Clayton Kershaw and a whole crap ton of Felix Doubront’s and Francisco Liriano‘s. On these nights it makes it incredibly difficult to break away from the pack in GPP’s because there’s not enough quality options to put your faith in and dollars behind.

Well my friends you’re in luck, because today is the kind of party you’ve been waiting for. Saturday is a Sexy Soapy Sorority Party of Pitching Delight. A roster of options packed to the gills with randy tight arms in sexy Halloween costumes. Just look at these names Max Scherzer, Jon Lester, Chris Sale, Sonny Gray, Jeff Samardzija, Mark Buehrle, Zack Greinke, Alex Cobb, Andrew Cashner, Ervin Santana, and Roenis Elias. That’s 11 startable options! When the hell does that ever happen? It should be easy to find a 1-2 combo with tons of upside, that will allow you to rack up the points and still have room to grab some bats. Today would be a great day to start playing Daily Fantasy Baseball at Draftkings if you haven’t. You can Play your first game for free with us by clicking Draftkings.

Without further ado, my picks for Today’s Draftkings contests:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A shameful start to the season will not be the result of a promising career and 2014 for Chris Archer. Yes, we all thought he would start to break through this year and, to be Frank or his best bud Ernest, there’s a good chance that still happens. His FIP is 3.14 and his BABIP is more than .040 over his norm. Sounds like it’ll improve for rest of season. But who cares right now, cuz we’re playing DFS on this Tuesday. So why Archer today? The Marlins youngsters have never seen him. He’s getting in the zone and rebounding lately with his last 3 starts: 17.2 IP, 2 R, 22 Ks vs. TOR, BOS, and LAA. That’s a rough translation to 6 IP, 1 R, 7 Ks per start against top offenses (2 of 3 on the road). Draftkings is offering him at $7,400 today. Don’t miss out!!!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been asked to take over for Dan Pants today.  He must be on a bender or something.  Or maybe he’s getting that vasectomy he’s been talking about.  Anyways, it looks like there is a new rivalry in town.  Tampa and Boston are quickly overthrowing the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry.  Two fights in, two separate games in under two weeks.  David Price hit David Ortiz in the first inning, and then Mike Carp a few innings later.  Somehow Price wasn’t ejected, even though there were warnings issued after the first beaning.  The Sox had four ejections: two managers, a coach, and Brandon Workman (who threw behind Evan Longoria after the first two HBPs).  Still, the Sox managed to win 3-2 in 10 innings.  If you own players on either team, be on the lookout for suspensions.  Here’s what else happened throughout the league Friday evening:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s more American than Memorial Day weekend? How about an ex-country singer-dating, gun-toting, Texan, a guy that looks like he puts a hot dog in the fly of his pants and goes up to female reporters and asks them if they’re hungry, a guy who we call Red State Jeter, a guy that looks like he has the rhythm of Mark Madsen, someone who has Ted Nugent’s special I’m-a-huntin’ phone number, a guy that Roger Clemens probably watches and thinks, “I wonder if he’ll have sex with my wife while I watch,” throwing a no-hitter? With a no-hitter on Memorial Day, Josh Beckett just took your ‘Murica and raised it back to its 1950′s ‘Murica when we were more obvious about our contempt for other nations. Though for our fantasy porpoises — hey, dolphins! — I gotta be honest, I’m a bit worried about him throwing 128 pitches, but his peripherals suggest a guy that if healthy can be a solid fantasy number three. He is not an ace now, so if suddenly people think that, feel free to shop him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s that time of year again when your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru digs out his star-spangled turban, the seersucker suit, and attempts to pull the ol’ “hotdog” trick on the unsuspecting ladies at the annual Razzball cookout. Johnny Manziel’s got nothin’ on me! Welcome once again to the Razzball Lounge where your favorite fake baseball scribes gather to crunch the numbers, drink the grog, and avoid the Tehol – hey, the kid gets all handsy after a few! We raise our glasses this Memorial Day weekend to all those that served and we pour out a little to all those boys of summer that never made it home. Let’s lower the Razzball flag to half-mast in horror honor of the latest fantasy casualties: Prince Fielder broke his cervix (who knew?), Ryan Braun strained his oblique (‘roids help with healin’, cust kayin’), Nolan Arenado broke a finger sliding (here’s a finger for you Nolan) and Mike Moustakas burned the roof of his mouth on the Hot Pocket Mama Mous made for him. Fielder looks done for the year, Braun was done the minute his medicine cabinet contained nothing but baby aspirin and Ben-Gay, Arenado is down a digit and good ol’ Moosetacos will be spending the summer in Omaha – oh, no, he just fell into the thresher. RIP Moosetacos. Yes, we’re grieving our fake baseball teams in the lounge this long weekend. At the bar we find Sky crying in his Islay, “I’m an organ donor and Arenado can have one of my fingers.”  Sky, NO!!!! *raises machete, cuts off pinky* Over at the jukebox is our resident jukebox hero Jay(Wrong) playing “Candle in the Wind” for the 23rd time.  “This one’s for you my sweet Prince.”  *bottle smashes above head* Sauntering out of the ladies room, zipping up his fly, arm around his latest conquest, is international man of mystery Tehol Beddict, “Why the long faces, gang? I’ve been in last place since April.”  *gets punched in the face by J-Foh, breaks nose* Here at the pool table is your humble-but-nonetheless-dejected Guru. *closes eye, takes aim, fires cue ball through window*  “All is lost, I’m going to start playing fantasy cricket.”  And, with the Razzball crew at an all-time low, who should suddenly grace us all with his presence? The one and only Grey Albright, looking all Gatsby as he exits his convertible amidst a plume of sweet smelling vapor, a coug on each arm, mustache glistening in the summer sun. “Gentleman, don’t lose faith, it’s a long season, and even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn’t matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Yahoo because they’ve got all the money! It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER! Now, Guru, fire up your jammer crammer machine and someone get me a goddamn umbrella drink!”

Please, blog, may I have some more?