Ughhhhh, is it the playoffs yet? Why does this year seem to be taking longer than ever before? Maybe it’s because I’m in only free leagues this year and I feel like I’m having my back blown out by my boy, Mandingo (google him, NSFW), in each and every one of them. I was graciously offered the opportunity to relinquish my fantasy baseball posts in order to give 100 percent of my focus on the football side of things as we are ramping up for America’s new favorite pastime. I thought to myself, “Beddict, you have a life; chickens to feed, male thong ads to shoot, and an endless supply of women to satisfy, therefore none could truly blame you for focusing all your efforts into football. It’s not your fault Bryce Harper is a tool and Ryne Sandberg is the worst manager in baseball. MOST of your other advice has worked out splendidly. You’ve done enough…..” FEAR NOT, my friends, for the day I walk away from writing for baseball is the day Grey and Rudy show up at my immaculate abode, Chinese finger trap my bottom b*tch, film it, stomp me out afterward, and take back my framed Razzball certificate of employment. I know for a fact that I have at least TWO readers who enjoy these posts and I absolutely refuse to let them down as Nicolas Cage has his fans with his seemingly endless supply of duds. Yes, these next few weeks shall be permeated with more Beddict than ever before, covering both baseball and football, and that, my friends, is what’s known as a “Tehol Twofer.” That term is ordinarily reserved for when I sexually pulverize two women, back to back, but I believe this was newsworthy enough to borrow the term, though I’m borrowing it from myself, so I suppose it doesn’t matter. ANYWAY, let’s hop right in. I missed some action due to the fact I was reeling in Tyee’s up in Canada, but per usual, I’ll be giving it 110 percent. This is, Disgrace/Delight.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Boy let me show ya how to make that trade
How to spend that money how to win your league and get paid
Girl let me show how to hit that wire quick
How to get that d!ck, don’t give back lip
Go head do what you do make it work for ya!
Beddict don’t play when it comes to money
I guess that’s why I’m okay when it comes to money
Hit Jay on the hip Guru on the celly
Rudy call Grey, I get ‘em for the R.Kelly
That’s seventeen a chicken, you know Beddict tha bird man
Citizens Bank Park, Philadelphia. I know the Byrd gang
As of right now, is anything in this endless universe more scorching hot that Matthew McConaughey? When you take into account his performance in the criminally underrated film, Mud, his epic scene stealing performance in, The Wolf of Wall Street, which was possibly the greatest part of the movie which one would think impossible considering the countless classic scenes that Wall Street has within, and his Oscar winning performance in the true story of, The Dallas Buyers Club, the answer is a resounding, NO! There is none hotter. Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention, Matty Ice, tag teaming viewers into submission along with partner, and legend in his own right, Woody Harrelson, in the undeniable classic series, True Detective. If his Oscar speech didn’t prove to you that this man cannot be touched right now, then you may want to go see a doctor, for you are clinically insane.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I am Tehol Beddict! And I see a whole army of my fantasy men/women, here in defiance of less knowledgeable and dreadfully boring fantasy websites! Read these other sites and you may win. Run to them and you may stay afloat, at least for a while. And dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young men and tell these underachieving fantasy advice sites that they can take your wives but they will never take your loyalty from Razzball and the Freeeeeeeedom it gives you from never having to go to any other site for sound information. You’ve bled with Grey and Rudy! Now bleed with me!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The MLB season is almost upon us! And what better way to celebrate than by fulfilling your dream of playing with Rudy. At our Halloween party last year, Rudy dressed up as Chucky and went around asking chicks, “My name’s Rudy, wanna playyyyy?” Luckily, there are no more lawsuits pending.
Our friends at DraftKings are accommodating a RAZZBALL NATION ONLY CONTEST on April 2nd against our own Rudy Gamble, where for $5, yes as much as a crappy foot of sandwich, you can win a ticket into the $150,000 Walk off Contest on April 12, where the top winner will win $50,000. That’s like – a million crappy sandwiches. I know Rudy doesn’t have that bushy mustache or those daiquiri soaked lips, but he is a fantasy god amongst us mere mortals and will be near impossible to topple.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As some of you know, we developed our own Player Rater methodology called Point Shares about a year ago. Since then, it’s been one big poontrain….zooming past Statgeek Station. Perhaps it’s because my hat and eyewear aren’t goofy enough?
Anyway, we’ve done some informal comparisons in the past w/ ESPN but – after having a prolonged, dorktastic debate – I decided to take it one step further. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
While we at Razzball are content toiling within the modest confines of fantasy baseball blogdom, we occasionally like to flex our journalistic muscles and take on a challenging interview.
Our interview subject is the Republican Vice-President nominee – a politician whose gender, backstory, home state, interviewing talents, charisma, religious views, and ocular skills (wink vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
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