Yesterday around 7:45 Eastern Time, Twitter got a little extra crazy. Jerry Crasnick of ESPN tweeted that the Mariners were close to acquiring an “impact” bat. Rumors swirled, Adam Jones jokes were passed among Orioles fans (that’s all we have), but eventually the world focused on the New York Yankees because that’s where the universe usually focuses. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I, Albert Lang, have been a Kelly Johnson fan, for no real reason, for some time now. I seem to be the only one. ESPN has him in the 200s, and his ADP is at 253. Certainly his 2011 (.222/.304/.413) did nothing to engender him to fantasy players, but I think this just makes him a steal for 2012. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tyler Pastornicky was born 12/13/1989, which is crazy young, good lord.

Certainly he’s too young to have been a fifth round draft pick THREE YEARS ago by the Toronto Blue Jays. Or not, I suppose.

He made his way down to Georgia as part of the semi-big trade that exiled Yunel Escobar and his “’tude” to Canada, which isn’t a portion of the United States of America. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?