First off, congratulations fellow nerd, if you’re reading this it means one of two things. 1. You’re just as painfully boring as I am and you read everything Razzball posts. Or 2., You’ve made it to the second or third round of your head-to-head league playoffs. Pretty impressive if you ask me! Now go tell everyone about it and be sure to let them know how you couldn’t have done it with out the good folks at Razzball! Best fantasy sports coverage in the industry, and all that happy horse shizz as my Vavo would say. What’s a Vavo you ask? It’s a Portuguese grandfather. See, you learn something new everyday. Well, I don’t because I know everything there is to know. It’s okay marvel at my excellence.

As for this week in double dipping, we have a couple of rude party guests in the Red Sux, Diamondbacks, Cubs, White Sox, Astros, and Padres, who have decided to move to 6-man rotations. Who would have guessed that the rudest guests at this two start party would come from Massachusetts, California, Texas, Arizona, and Chicago? Regardless of those skipping the cake and ice cream that is this week’s TwoStartapalooza we still have a whole bunch of good options to discuss. I’ve decided to add another element to these posts going forward. I’m now going to add in each pitchers home or road ERA, as well as the opponents wOBA against that pitcher’s handiness, and their home/road wOBA. I feel this provides you the reader with better statistical data, as well as better transparency into the reasoning behind each ranking. This week I’m just going with each opponents home/road wOBA because I’m on vacation, and if I spend any more time writing, my wife will kill me. So starting next week I’ll have all these numbers for you. The greater point is this data paired with Rudy’s new handy dandy two start matrix makes these posts that much more helpful. Knowledge is power boys, and raw Imma give it to ya with no trivia raw like cocaine straight from Bolivia. Ohhh U-God you had one good line in 25 years….

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In Fantasy Baseball, it doesn’t matter if it’s daily or redraft, strikeouts hand out nerd boners. Don’t worry, straight fantasy baseball players, it’s not a gay thing (not that there’s anything wrong with that). It comes down to playing a sport that is built for strikeouts dominating your pitching desires and in fact, I’d say in daily fantasy a 10 K day would have you bordering on priapism. So pardon me while I go back to the Trevor Bauer well with you. Yes, we’ve done this before and with success. For some reason, Trevor at home feels…well, at home as he has a 3.32 ERA, 9.11 K/9 and a .309 wOBA against at Progressive Field. Obviously he’s not perfect at home – he does have a 1.34 WHIP and a 3.6 BB/9 ratio there – but for the price of $6,500, you could have yourself 10 K. Oh, I see that got you all flushed. So go light some candles, sprinkle rose petals around the laptop you build your DK lineups on and put on some appropriate music to anoint the mood while you anoint yourself with other things…ahhhh yeah. Maybe his start will be so successful, you can afford the plumber to fix your wife’s leaky pipes and order an extra large italian sausage pizza like she’s always asked for. Bet she’d like that. But before our ‘innuendo’ turns into ‘in your end hole’, let’s get this show rolling. Here’s Razzball’s picks for today’s slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yo, it’s me, I’m back in the flesh! Well, I’ve never been in the flesh on this site. At least not yet. Give me some time, I’ve been giving out my phone number to TMZ in the hopes I get hacked so they can gain access to all my deepest, dirtiest secrets. But until that day, I keep grinding away at Daily Fantasy. Heck, I love it so much I’m doing DraftKings Football for Razzball as well. Speaking of football, did ya miss me last week? You really shouldn’t have. I gave you a Saturday article leading with Vidal Nuno the morning I departed to Chicago for Razzball Radio‘s #32in32in32 tour where Nick Capozzi and I drove around like mad men across these great states and covered a fantasy draft in all the 32 cities with an NFL club. Well, I was there for the final leg of the tour. If you wanna know how the whole thing really went, I’m fielding offers for my interview. I’m thinking Barbara Walters will be calling any time now…yup…any…time…but while I wait for that phone to ring, let’s discuss some Daily Fantasy Baseball. So we got this kid named Marcus Stroman. He’s good…hrm, thought I had more to go on here. Oh, right, the young Cubs. I’m a big proponent of ignoring season stats by about mid-June. Guys who were hot, cool and vice versa, young guys get called up and overperform for a while and another guy strains a muscle but stays in the lineup when he shouldn’t and his stats sag worse than…well, I’m not gonna ADMIT to looking at your g-ma’s boobs so lets just not go there, m’kay? All this to say, I use ‘last 7 days’ and the team stats when I do so. The Cubs are striking out at a heavy rate of 24.6% heading into Sunday’s games. And just to complete my homework, I checked the boxscore from Sunday for them: 12 K, 8 of which came from the starter. They are still a scary lineup in that there’s power up and down it but I think Stroman and his $6,800 sets you up well to spend as needed elsewhere on a semi-shortened Monday night slate. Speaking of said slate, let’s get to it. Here’s our picks for September 8th contests on DraftKings…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s September, and many fantasy owners have taken an all-hands-on-deck approach to their teams as they try to win their weekly matchups or gain ground in roto categories. With just about four weeks left, I’ll use this post to give you as much steals information as possible to help you make your roster decisions in weekly or daily leagues. I would strongly suggest using the new Pitcher Planner and Hitter Planner tools in addition to the regular Stream-o-Nator and Hitter-Tron. There is also a SB vs. SP rate tool that provides some data specifically tailored to stolen bases.

While I find rummaging through leaderboards to be a pleasurable venture, that may not be the case for everyone. So without anything more from me, here are a few tables of data that you may find helpful and time-saving. Good luck down the stretch and may your steals be plentiful!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Alright Head-to-Headers and Weekly League players. This is more than likely the most important week of your season. You’re either kicking off the first round of playoff match-ups or you’re grinding out the last week trying to get that ever elusive playoff birth. Not to worry my peeps, the Legendary Lifshitz is back and ready to drop some two start pitcher science on y’all. In fact I’ll be taking over as your captain from here on out and into 2015. That’s right! I’m your 2015 Two Start Huckleberry! Think of me as the top prospect getting called up for roster expansions with an eye on the starting job next year. You know like Xander Bogaerts but less of a disappointment. Unless you’re my third grade teacher Ms. Schultz. Then I’m more of a disappointment. What can I say the women had high hopes.

As for the roster of Double dippers, it’s not bad. Lots of good streamers and ton of middle of the road options. I’ll try and focus a little more on the arms with lower ownership levels, knowing those are the guys you’ll be looking to for the extra counting stats to put you over the top. This is one of the most fun times to be a fantasy baseball manager. This is for those digging through the wavier wire looking for that streamer to get you into the dance, or that spot starter to help you lock down that swing category to get you into the next round of the playoffs, or even the roto owner looking to capitalize on the less savvy owners who hit their innings limits this week. May you use this as your guide good sirs! Unless you’re in a league with me, then I hope all your pitchers get shelled. Sorry but I’m in it to win it no matter the cost!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Madison Bumgarner threw a near-perfect game vs. the Rockies, ending with a one hitter and 13 Ks. Tim Lincecum was the first one to congratulate him, saying, “I’ll see you in the bullpen in two months.” Then Lincecum laughed, a hallow, empty laughter and his eyes glazed with what appeared to be tears. Yesterday, Bum was so impressive that even Gattis said, “I’d bunk in a cardboard box with that Bum anytime.” Yesterday, Bum was so impressive, Brian Sabean altered Bumgarner’s contract, making him twelve years older. Yesterday, Bum was so impressive, Giants fans didn’t roll their eyes when someone had white wine with a burger. On the year, Bumgarner has a 3.02 ERA, 9.3 K/9, 1.9 BB/9 and is about as consistent as a starter that you can find. Oh, and he’s only 25 years old. *Homer Simpson drool* Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Shameless cross-pollination!  Yes, just as shameless as Tony Parker cross-pollinating Brent Barry’s wife, I’m hijacking the open of my post to let you know Fantasy Basketball rankings have begun!  I hope Grey doesn’t suspend me for conduct detrimental to the team… I’ve got my top 50 up earlier than anywhere else (well, no one has recent rankings up!) and if you suffer fantasy depression through winter, and/or hate that Fantasy Football is nothing but pure luck, Fantasy Basketball is the rebound (womp womp) for you!  The mix of percentages and counting stats appeal the Fantasy Baseball-ist in everyone, so if you’ve thought about trying hoops, hop over to basketball and into an RCL when they open next month (I sense another hijack coming…)!

“Get back to the diamond JB, this is a friggin’ baseball blog!”  Fine!  Has any pitcher in the initial top-50 (non-injured) had as tumultuous a season as Danny Salazar?!  Maybe Justin Verlander… But now he’s injured too!  Salazar pitched like a gangbuster (…? can you be only one gang buster?  Ask Ness…) closing out last year, but lower velocity, control issues, and just overall ineffectiveness were so bad he went back down to AAA.  After two months in the Minors, Salazar has been pretty good in 4 of his 5 starts since the call up in late July, including a decent outing yesterday.  Just can’t get deep into games!  To be honest, I haven’t watched a single Salazar start this year (using all my Indians time on Corey Kluber, k?!), so I decided to break down his afternoon against the Orioles and if he needs to be scooped up in more leagues even if his rotation spot is non-guaranteed:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Low voice, “Wow.” Digs ditch, steps down, “Wow.” Need more emphasis. Buys a mini-excavator, consults with architects about installing a down escalator, begins construction, gets behind on schedule, fires a guy that smokes more than he digs, hires a foreman that seems like he knows what he’s doing, foreman runs off with money, tracks foreman down in Aruba hanging out with Andruw Jones, punches foreman, watches Andruw Jones make diving catch of forearm’s body, heads back to the States to oversee completion of down escalator, breaks champagne on escalator, travels down a full story and, “WOW!” Do you see what I go though to emphasize something for you? After Mike Fiers struck out 14 Cubs in 6 innings, he can have anything he wants. Sleep with my Cougs, she’s all yours! He now has a 1.29 ERA, a 10.3 K/9 and 2.1 BB/9 after 21 IP, after blowing through the minor leagues with a 11.3 K/9. I grabbed him in one 12 team league and looked to pick him up in every league, but he wasn’t there. I forgot the most important lesson, you couldn’t get Michael Fiers if you were f***ing Michael Fiers! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wada start! Wada player! Wada guy! Tsuyoshi Wada continued to pitch well last night, tossing six innings, allowing just four hits and one walk, while giving up two earned runs and striking out six. He didn’t get the win but Wada you gonna do? After dominating AAA earlier in the year (113.2 IP, 2.77 ERA, 120/28 K/BB ratio), he struggled a bit in his second big league outing versus San Diego (4.0 IP, 5 ER, 4 BB, 5 K), but T-Dubs has rebounded since then, letting up just 2 ER or less in his past three starts with a 2.41 ERA, 1.02 WHIP and 18/4 K/BB ratio. Maybe you’re thinking, Wada crock! But the next level stats don’t suggest any regression is coming, although it is a small sample size.  His 3.60 xFIP is great, as is his .292 BABIP and 7.7% HR/FB.  In addition, his excellent 21.7 K% demonstrates he can be a plenty useful starter for your fantasy leagues. He gets the Brewers next week and I’d take a flier on Tsuyoshi Wada if you are in need of a starter. He’s available in over 90% of ESPN and Yahoo! leagues. So Wada you waiting for… pick him up!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know how when you move out of a place, you throw out a majority of your stuff, but a few things you just slide into the cubbyhole behind the washer/dryer? Maybe nothing significant. Just something to leave your mark, like an old pair of underwear. Then in a few years, maybe ten, you go back to your old place, knock on the door and ask to see what they’ve done with the place. Once inside, you ask if you can launder your pants and while in the basement, you check for your old underwear, and there they are. You shake the rat droppings off them, breath them in and they still smell of you. What? You’ve never done this? Okay, you’re weird, but Jake Peavy did, and now he’s going to get to smell his old gotchies that he left in the NL West. San Francisco has a lot of hills and their pitching staff has gone over all of them. They’d like Petit more if he had more T’s and E’s in his last name. Want to spot a Giants starter in San Fran? Find a hill, go over it. They’re on the other side. This is a boost for Peavy’s value. Obvi! He had a 7.5 K/9 and 2.2 BB/9, which is borderline streamer in most shallower mixed leagues, but that was the AL East, and even while he’s been in the AL the last few years (while not pitching that great), he’s been solid vs. NL teams. They have no DH! The pitcher hits! Etc. Etc. Etc. Last night against the NL West’s best offense outside of Coors, he had a line of 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks. I’d take a flyer on Peavy in all leagues, and his next matchup on the Stream-o-Nator says it agrees. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?