You’ll have to excuse me; I’m a bit hoarse after a weekend in Vegas, so don’t ask me to yell. All caps are just too much right now. I’m not sure where I lost my voice. May have been during our spirited game of Pai Gow Poker. What was I doing playing $15 hands of a game where I literally just turned my cards over so the dealer could tell me how to play them? It’s the free drinks, ya’ll! About eighty dollars worth a free drinks to be exact. Oh, and Ubaldo was pitching a no-hitter and Pai Gow Poker had the best seats in the house. I think even the three 70-year-old Asian ladies at the table with us were into it by the ninth. Hair’s to you, Ubaldo! Either way, I’m spent so I’ll have to keep my enthusiasm on simmer for now about Ike Davis. Let’s start this mofo with what Stephen said in the Mets’ Minor League Review, “After hitting zero home runs in 215 at-bats in 2008, doubters began questioning his “raw power,” but failed to consider an oblique injury. Splitting time between High-A and Double-A, Davis flat-out raked. Not necessarily the most polished hitter, he still has some work to do with his swing and strikeout rate, but he should continue to hit for power as he keeps a decent rate of balls in the air (42.8 FB%).” And that’s me quoting Stephen! In nine games in Triple-A Buffalo, Davis has two homers as he hits a robust .357. Not to be confused with the girls in Vegas, who are mo’bust. The Mets are calling up Davis in the next week. Do I take a flier on him in 12 team or deeper mixed leagues? Certainly. Do I expect the 2nd coming of Hayzeus Cristo? Nope. But if he hits in first few games, his value will go sky high and you’ll be able to trade him for more than he’s worth. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Mike Jacobs – Designated for assignment. That assignment is to “stop sucking.”
Derek Jeter – Will return on Tuesday after missing yesterday’s game with a head cold. Good to see he’s quickly on the mend because a head cold sidelined Greinke for a year. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clayton Kershaw went 4 and two-thirds innings, giving up three earned and 11 baserunners. Six of those ducks on the pond were walks. That’s 1-2-3-4-5-6 walks. Versus the Pirates. A team that had a .318 OBP last year. Sure, this year they’re starting with Robot Jones, “I must kill the Queen,” but c’mon. How did I convince myself a pitcher who can’t get through 5 innings was a good idea? I blame all of you. Someone should of said something. And if you did say something, you should used more exclamation marks or a bigger font. This is not your beautiful wife, this is not your beautiful house, this is a pitcher who walks the ballpark. On the bright side — and let’s face it, we need a bright side since not all of us live on the first floor — Kershaw was very bad last April too. He’ll get better. Or at least I keep telling myself that. Convincing, right? No, really he will. Right? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Cook – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 5 Ks. Can you smell what the Cook is rocking? Smells like Dwayne Johnson’s movie career. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Rangers landed Rich Harden. Most years, Harden is all-tease, little reward. He missed 2006 and 2007 just about completely. Then he stayed healthy in 2008 and 2009, but you may as well put douche quotes around healthy because he never topped 150 innings. Harden’s healthy is two-thirds of a season. He goes to the nurse’s office more than this kid. Though if you can get two-thirds of a season from Harden, it’s usually the good shizz. Last year, he was prone to the homer ball like never before, but I think that was just a hiccup. If Milton Bradley had Derrek Lee’s wingspan, some homers wouldn’t have reached the seats. I don’t think Texas is going to hurt his value more than a tad. In 2009, I expect a line of 3.55/1.20/150 in 130 innings. Anyway, here’s some other trades and signings that went down and their fantasy baseball implications:
Kevin Millwood – To the Orioles. Average pitcher into the AL East. Nothing to see here. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Rafael Furcal went 2-for-4 with a steal. I thought Furcal was overvalued in the preseason because I thought he was more fragile than Alanis after a breakup. Well, he’s actually played the whole season, albeit terribly. He’s been on base over 200 times. He has 10 steals with 6 times caught. Who gave him Kirk Gibson’s fist-pumping legs for five months? But, and here’s the head turner, he has 4 steals in the last seven games. Not sure what happened to Furcal the first 95% of the season, 10 steals used to be a good month for him. Maybe he’s a Latin 31. But never us mind, he’s hot right now. If he was dropped anywhere, he’s currently hitting over .500 in the last week with 4 steals. Go fur it! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Bobby Jenks – I might’ve misspoke when I said Linebrink would be the closer. Grey wrong? Get outta here this instant! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who doesn’t love to show their frenemies their fantasy baseball teams in October and say, “Look at what I won with?” Then they see Juan Uribe and they’re confounded, “How did you win with Juan Uribe?” That is the secret to fantasy baseball in September. If you win your league, I guarantee someone will look at your team at the end of the year and be completely confused by some of the guys you own. Cliff Pennington? Robinson Tejeda? Did the other teams in your league quit? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Randy Wells spells relief with D-R-O-P H-I-M. 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER in his previous start. 4 IP, 5 ER yesterday. If this were an SAT question, the next game’s line in this series is 4 1/3 IP and 7 ER. Four months of a 3 ERA is a good run, right? Send him a postcard in March when he’s down in Arizona. Or send him a basket of Port Wine cheese logs from Cracker Barrel. Whatever. He’ll forgive you for dropping him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Edwin Jackson – 5 IP, 5 ER. I’m Rockwell, and I’m watching you. Now punt Jackson. Please, blog, may I have some more?
On July 16th, Padres GM, Kevin Towers, said there’s a 50-50 chance that Jake Peavy would pitch again. Turned out there was a 50-50 chance that he was lying. On July 16th, Peavy’s boot came off and his ankle is healthy. Peavy now says he’ll pitch again this year. Oh, okay. Peavy is the Padres ace, i.e., they’re not going to mess with bringing him back to make sure they win 60 games instead of 58. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In his last four games, J.J. Hardy has gone 8-for-17 with two homers. You waited and waited. Went for a dip in the ocean. Washed ashore in Finland. Smoked a bowl with some guy who wore only a potato sack. Fell asleep on a raft. Woke up in your kiddie pool wearing your water wings. And finally Hardy got hot. In July last year, Hardy hit .339 with 9 homers. Followed that up with a .294 August and 5 homers. I know Hardy’s sucked the life out of you with his April through June, but if he’s indeed hot now, and it seems that way, he’ll bat 2nd, he’ll hit some homers and a decent average for a month or so. He’s currently batting .232. That’ll come up. He has 8 homers, he should finish with 25. Will he always be as delightful as your Finnish friend wearing a potato sack? No, probably not, but he’s better than he’s been. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Raul Ibanez – Won’t be returning this Friday when eligible. No set backs; Phils are just taking precautions. For those wanting to say something derogatory about him, I’d wait until he doesn’t have so much free time. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Lindstrom hits the DL with a sore elbow and should be out at least 6 weeks. He’s fine to drop if you don’t have DL room, since he may not be the closer when/if he returns. Rudy and I were talking over IM when the news of Matt Lindstrom hitting the DL broke. We looked at the options. Dan Meyer or Leo Nunez? Meyer is a lefty that has been handling righties well this year. Nunez has posted ERAs of 3.18, 3.77, 6.43 in the first three months of the season and he just hurt his ankle on Tuesday. We went with Meyer on all of our teams. At worst, we have a guy who has pitched well. A few hours later, Nunez said his ankle was fine. If I had to do it over again, I would’ve went with Nunez because he’s probably first in line for saves. SAGNOF, after all. I’m holding Meyer for now just to see how this plays out. So far, it’s played out with Meyer getting the first save. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Edinson Volquez – Almost a month after heading to the DL, Edinson has elbow inflammation. This is obviously terrible news for his owners. An arm setback after almost of a month hiatus usually means he’s not coming back for a while. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, that didn’t take long. Rickie Weeks has swine flu in the wrist. Anything negative health-wise wouldn’t surprise me with Rickie Weeks. “Coach, Weeks got the black plague.” “Wasn’t that only spread by rats 600 years ago?” “Don’t know, Coach. After Friday’s game, he was with some old broad who had snaggle teeth. Might’ve been that.” I wouldn’t be surprised to see this force Weeks to the DL then miss two months of the season because that’s what Weeks do. It would be too convenient for Bill Hall to go to 2nd and Gamel to fill-in at third. But offensively it would make more sense than the blahtoon of Counsell and Iribarren. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Carpenter – Returning on Wednesday. I don’t think he gets to the All-Star Break healthy. If you have Carpenter, you might think about hammering out a deal. (<–Pun!)
Koji Uehara – 5 IP, 4 ER. I still believe he’ll be better going forward than most doodes that are on waivers. Please, blog, may I have some more?