Fantasy Baseball Advice

Yesterday, Rafael Furcal went 2-for-4 with a steal.  I thought Furcal was overvalued in the preseason because I thought he was more fragile than Alanis after a breakup.  Well, he’s actually played the whole season, albeit terribly.  He’s been on base over 200 times.  He has 10 steals with 6 times caught.  Who gave him Kirk Gibson’s fist-pumping legs for five months?  But, and here’s the head turner, he has 4 steals in the last seven games.  Not sure what happened to Furcal the first 95% of the season, 10 steals used to be a good month for him.  Maybe he’s a Latin 31.  But never us mind, he’s hot right now.  If he was dropped anywhere, he’s currently hitting over .500 in the last week with 4 steals.  Go fur it!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Bobby Jenks – I might’ve misspoke when I said Linebrink would be the closer.  Grey wrong?  Get outta here this instant! Yeah, I know, random italicized voice, the guy who traded for Jose Reyes in one league in May being wrong is crazy.  I originally said Linebrink because of how Ozzie had used him recently.  But Linebrink has been awful.  No disputing that.  Then again, I don’t think Matt Thornton’s going to suddenly become Franklin Morales of last week.  Either way, I don’t think this is a great situation for saves.  Okay, correction done.

Jermaine Dye – 2 HRs yesterday as he came down with a case of Furcalitis, a disease that boosts one’s stats when games no longer matter.

Michael Aubrey – HR yesterday.  I also really love him on Real Estate Intervention.

Matt Wieters – Hit another homer yesterday.  Member all that (lack of) work he did over the summer to make him underrated next year?  Yeah, he’s been outta his mind recently.  I knew it would happen eventually, I was kinda hoping eventually was next April.

Travis Snider – HR yesterday.  4 for his last 7, but it was against Orioles pitching and, as I tell my girlfriend, beware the small sample size.

Francisco Liriano – Should start against the Royals on Sunday.  He’ll get to face Greinke.  Sometimes it just ain’t your year.

Carlos Guillen – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs with 2 HRs yesterday.  With the way he’s played since returning from injury, he should sit out two months every year.  Oh, wait, he does.

Chad Billingsley – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks vs. the Nats.  I think they call this a tune-up for the playoffs.  Considering how broken down he’s been lately, they would be right.

Ryan Zimmerman – Hit his 31st homer yesterday and so did Miguel Cabrera.  I mention that for symmetry and because, other than the average, Zimmerman’s been just as valuable.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-6, 2 steals.  What, no homers?

Homer Bailey – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 0 Ks.  Blech, but he got the win.  I’m gonna have to get over not liking him because I think I’ll probably own him in some leagues next year.

Jonathan Sanchez – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks.  I pegged him as a borderline starter to take a gamble on for yesterday, along with Homer Bailey.

Randy Choate – Got the save yesterday.  So that’s who the closer is!  Choate came in to get two lefties and a righty (which turned into two righties and a lefty – Wakamatsu is a magician!)

Wade Davis – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks.  He gets Baltimore and supposedly the last start of the year vs. the Yankees, which will be the B lineup.  And there is no A lineup on the Orioles.

Gaby Sanchez – HR yesterday.  (S)He’s a decent name to look at in deep NL-Only keepers.  Keepers only though, (s)he’s not playing much at all right now.

Tim Hudson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners as he tied his owners to the WHIPping post.  As someone who watched 75% of this game, Hudson looked terrible.  Got very lucky, even with Kelly Johnson mucking up a double play ball.

Chris Narveson – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks.  Anyone who’s read this blog for even a short period of time knows I got excited when I saw 10 Ks in under 6 innings.  Unfortunately, he gets the Rockies in Coors next time out so there’s nothing to see here.

Bud Norris – 6 IP, 0 ER.  Nice, but in the same boat as Narveson with a tough next matchup (@Philly).

Julio Borbon – Stole his 17th base yesterday in only 119 ABs.  I have a feeling someone’s value is going to be inflated next year.

Brad Lidge – 2/3 IP, 2 ER and his 11th blown save.  Imagine if Scioscia managed the Phillies.  Lidge would be in the Phanatic costume doing belly flops during rain delays.

Rich Harden – Now the Cubs are saying he may get shut down.  Yeah, I said that last week.  Read the blog, doode!

Milton Bradley – Has a new game, Pin The Blame On The Cubbies.

Who doesn’t love to show their frenemies their fantasy baseball teams in October and say, “Look at what I won with?”  Then they see Juan Uribe and they’re confounded, “How did you win with Juan Uribe?”  That is the secret to fantasy baseball in September.  If you win your league, I guarantee someone will look at your team at the end of the year and be completely confused by some of the guys you own.  Cliff Pennington?  Robinson Tejeda?  Did the other teams in your league quit? No, you’re playing hot guys.  This is imperative at this time of the year.  Imperative is the important word to know.  Juan Uribe has not only been incredibly hot, but Uribe will confound your frenemies!  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Juan Francisco – If I had to take a wild guess, I think Francisco will (try to) man the hot corner in the 2nd half of 2010 after the Reds unload Rolen for spare parts.  I say (try to) because Dusty doesn’t always play rookies.  Also, Francisco’s no guarantee.  He feels a bit to me like Troy Glaus, or even Chris Davis without the Bill James-inspired optimism, i.e., he strikes out nearly once per game and doesn’t walk enough.  He could provide some pop in deep NL-Only keepers.  This isn’t for you, mixed leaguers.

Robinson Tejeda – Wouldn’t be surprised if February Grey has nice things to say about Tejeda.

Ryan Rowland-Smith – He’s been good for a while now.  Like, the whole season.  So is Rowland his maiden name?

Vicente Padilla – After you read Uribe and now Padilla, I’m sure many of you are going to skim the rest of the post.  I don’t blame you.

Kevin Jepsen – SAGNOF!

Dan Wheeler – Could be the closer, but the Rays haven’t had a save since August.  It’s kinda not worth it, but if you’re in a pinch then I’d look at Wheeler since Maddon has said Howell and Balfour are on restrictions (bed by 9, no carbs and a low pitch count) for the rest of the season.

Matt LaPorta – Look at his last week of stats.  Yes, the MLP Package is finally on.

Drew Stubbs – Showing a bunch of power for a guy who looks like he wouldn’t be able to open the pickle jar.

Casey Blake – Currently murdering the ball like his brother, Robert… Well, you get it.

Brett Gardner – The Yankees are coasting into the ‘offs and Gardner could see an increase in playing time.  That means steals.

Kaz Matsui – Obviously, he’s the less glamorous of the Matsuis (Matsuii?) with a markedly smaller porn collection — buy at least a raincoat, man — but no hitter has been hotter over the past week.

Cliff Pennington – Batting near .400 over the last week with a homer and a steal.  And he sounds like a villain from an 80s movie — You spilled beer on my Izod!

Nick Swisher – Nick, your sideburns were just a crutch. Thank you, random italicized voice!

SELL

Yovani Gallardo – If you’re moving in the Tejedas and Uribes, you need to make room.  Gallardo is getting shutdown.  But he doesn’t wanna!  Yeah, that’s nice.  He should’ve been shut down a month ago.  Now I’m worried about him for next year because of all of his innings this year.  See, now you done worried me.

Chipper Jones – Lose the Glass Chipper.

B.J. Upton – Who’s the Boss?  Apparently, not the Bossman.

Rich Harden – Hasn’t been good recently and now he’s getting skipped.  I’m sure there’s better options out there.

Josh Hamilton – I don’t enjoy being right when I say a player is going to fail and they do.  Okay, let me rephrase that.  I do enjoy being right when I say someone is going to fail and they do.  There, that’s better.

Randy Wells spells relief with D-R-O-P H-I-M.  3 2/3 IP, 3 ER in his previous start.  4 IP, 5 ER yesterday.  If this were an SAT question, the next game’s line in this series is 4 1/3 IP and 7 ER.  Four months of a 3 ERA is a good run, right?  Send him a postcard in March when he’s down in Arizona.  Or send him a basket of Port Wine cheese logs from Cracker Barrel.  Whatever.  He’ll forgive you for dropping him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edwin Jackson – 5 IP, 5 ER.  I’m Rockwell, and I’m watching you.  Now punt Jackson.

Brett Tomko – Shut down for the season.  Who makes a deal with the devil for only three weeks?  I know Dorian Gray.  You, sir, are not him.

Willie Bloomquist – 4-for-5 yesterday and he’s hitting .500 over the last week.  I’d say he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s here.  You get the gist… Or is it the ‘quist?

Alex Gordon – 1-for-4, Now batting .205.  [sarcasm] Yeah, the Royals were totally wrong to hold him down in the minors for financial reasons.  He’s totally producing now. [/sarcasm]

Zach Greinke – 5 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks.  Left the game with some swelling after a comebacker hit him on the elbow.  Word on the streets of Steve Balboni Blvd. is Greinke will be fine for his next start.

Miguel Olivo – Another homer yesterday.  Telling you right now, if you wait longer than a week.  He’ll be ice cold again.  He’s like Chiquita Banana’s boyfriend, he hits them in bunches.

Miguel Cabrera – Hit his 30th homer yesterday.  I wonder if after the game he got an Olivo hug.  (<–It’s called a hunch!)

John Danks – 8 IP, 1 ER.  Danks’s win got ganked by a jenky Jenks.  Say that fast 5 times.  Actually, don’t.  It’s a waste of time.

Brandon Morrow – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 12 baserunners as he tied his owners to the WHIPping post.  He’s walking too many and we (me and you… I’m actually sitting next to you — Hey!) don’t have time for him to correct himself.  He gets the Rays next, which isn’t an awful start, but it’s highly risky right now.

Wade Davis – 9 IP, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  This start and his last start (2 2/3 IP, 8 ER) epitomizes the rookie pitcher.  You like to ride the roller coaster, but sometimes you end up vomiting.

Shane Victorino – Speaking of vomiting, Victorino has food poisoning and will miss a day or two as he’s now, The Upchucking Hawaiian.

Brad Lidge – 1 IP, 1 ER and the save.  This is a pretty comical set-up Manuel’s configured here.  If the Phils are up by three runs, they bring in Lidge for the save.  1 or 2 runs, it’s Madson.  That’s gotta be a nice confidence booster for Lidge.  You suck, but I trust you enough to not be totally sucky.

Chris Coghlan – 4-for-4, 1 Run.  If anyone can have a 4-for-4 with only 1 run and no steals or RBIs, it’s Coghlan.  He yawnstipates me pretty badly.

Rich Harden – Will have a start skipped for ineffectiveness rather than an injury.  This is an absolute first for Harden.  I mean, a missed start because of an injury is his Pass Line.

Carlos Zambrano – This doesn’t have a huge effect on fantasy baseball, but I found it slightly amusing.  The Cubs said they would try to trade Big Z in the offseason.  He said he would use his no-trade clause.  Now Carlos doesn’t necessarily strike me as someone that would be happy-happy-joy-joy if he were on another team, but I like that he doesn’t even want to try for happiness somewhere else.  I pitch poorly at home (almost a full run higher in Wrigley over three years), I attack the Gatorade bucket with my fisticuffs and I look downright miserable in just about every start, but, you know what?  I’m staying right here. I imagine Big Z reads a lot of Sylvia Plath.

On July 16th, Padres GM, Kevin Towers, said there’s a 50-50 chance that Jake Peavy would pitch again. Turned out there was a 50-50 chance that he was lying.  On July 16th, Peavy’s boot came off and his ankle is healthy.  Peavy now says he’ll pitch again this year.  Oh, okay.  Peavy is the Padres ace, i.e., they’re not going to mess with bringing him back to make sure they win 60 games instead of 58. Then consider he’s not coming back until September at the earliest, so you’re looking at a guy that might pitch five games.  As my dead, Jewish grandmother would’ve said, big whoop.  I know it sucks you lost Peavy, but now you’re compounding your misfortune by wasting a roster spot on him.  If you don’t have a DL spot for him, give Peavy the boot.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Josh Whitesell – Will be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  I’ll give you a teaser.  Later on today, I’ll say, “Whitesell doesn’t have…”  Ah, what doesn’t he have?  Power?  A middle name?  Feet?  You’ll have to wait to find out.

B.J. Ryan – Signed by the Cubs.  B.J. becomes a LOOGY.  Hmm… That sounds wrong.

Raul Ibanez – 2 HRs in his first two 2nd half ABs.  In my fantasy baseball top 100 for 2009, I pointed out how he’s a 2nd half hitter (#34 for the time-deprived).

Derek Lowe – 6 IP, 3 ER.  It’s little consolation, but he shouldn’t have given up the three 4th inning runs.  Just bad defense.

Rafael Soriano – Save yesterday.  Soriano’s putting together a year like Waking Joey Devine did last year.  In related news, Gonzalez is battling elbow tendinitis.

Oliver Perez – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Could throw 200 scoreless innings and you’d pick him up and he’d give up 8 runs in two-thirds of an inning for the first start with you.  Guaranteed.

Jeff Francoeur – 0-for-4, 1 RBI in his return to Atlanta.  In honor of Frenchy’s return, Chipper swung at a ball in the dirt.

Cliff Lee – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  Deja vu?  Nope, deja vs. the Mariners.

Rich Harden – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  Since it took the Nats to bring out Harden’s best start in almost a month, I wouldn’t go as far to say he’s back.

Edwin Encarnacion – HR yesterday.  Now has two homers in his last five games.  Might have 10 more homers in his bat for the rest of the season.  At corner, that’s ownable.

Homer Bailey – 5 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  You trusted him, he shit your house.

Jamie Moyer – 7 IP, 0 ER, only two baserunners.  Considering most of you were in diapers when he started pitching, it’s pretty incredible what he’s doing now that he’s in diapers.

Dallas Braden – 5 IP, 6 ER.  You know when you have two or more mediocre starts going and there’s that one critical start that can make or break your whole staff’s night?  That was Braden on a few teams for me (as I had Wolf, Gaudin, Cook and Wandy also going).  With a good start, I could’ve went to respectability and a low 1 WHIP and a mid-2 ERA.  We might need a glossary term for that critical start.  I’ll open it up to the Razzpound for suggestions.

Ervin Santana – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 1 matchup with the A’s.  There’s worst fliers to take if Ervin’s healthy.  I can’t think of any right now because I’m on some serious cold medicine. (The flu in the summer sucks.  I blame the pierced, Goth kid who sneezed on me at Bruno.  Teach me to leave my office.  Seriously, if I’m dead by Sunday from The Swine, frequent commenter, Mr Baseball, may be doing your roundups.  You’ve been warned.)  I’d pickup Ervin for his next start vs. the Royals, but it’s risky until we see back-to-back quality starts.

Chad Gaudin/Aaron Cook – 11 IP, 2 ER, 16 Ks.  Doesn’t take a ‘pert to tell ya, start anyone in Petco, but Josh Geer.

Ichiro Suzuki – While in St. Louis, Ichiro went to visit the grave of George Sisler, whose single-season hit record Ichiro broke in 2004.  Jose Reyes should go visit the graves of all the fantasy baseball teams he killed this year.

In his last four games, J.J. Hardy has gone 8-for-17 with two homers.  You waited and waited.  Went for a dip in the ocean.  Washed ashore in Finland.  Smoked a bowl with some guy who wore only a potato sack.  Fell asleep on a raft.  Woke up in your kiddie pool wearing your water wings.  And finally Hardy got hot.  In July last year, Hardy hit .339 with 9 homers.  Followed that up with a .294 August and 5 homers.  I know Hardy’s sucked the life out of you with his April through June, but if he’s indeed hot now, and it seems that way, he’ll bat 2nd, he’ll hit some homers and a decent average for a month or so.  He’s currently batting .232.  That’ll come up.  He has 8 homers, he should finish with 25.  Will he always be as delightful as your Finnish friend wearing a potato sack?  No, probably not, but he’s better than he’s been.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Raul Ibanez – Won’t be returning this Friday when eligible.  No set backs; Phils are just taking precautions.  For those wanting to say something derogatory about him, I’d wait until he doesn’t have so much free time.

Casey McGehee – Grand slam yesterday.  Is there anything he can’t do?!  Yeah, keep this up.  But while he’s hot, you really should own him if you need MI help.

J.D. Drew – 3-for-5, batted leadoff.  Who put Ellsbury in the doghouse?  Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.

Gordon Beckham – 7 for his 13 with a steal and he shares a first name with an alien life form.  Capable of double digit power and steals with a solid average, but this year he might be a bit underseasoned like your Mom’s cooking.  Though worth taking a flier to see if you can catch lightning in a bottle.

Gavin Floyd – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER.  If you own him, have a cigar, you crazy diamond.

Alexei Ramirez – Left the game after being plunked in the head by Chris Perez.  He’ll be fine.  Surprisingly, he did not swing at the pitch.

Ryan Theriot – HR yesterday.  Back on May 5th when Theriot had 3 homers, frequent commenter, IowaCubs said, “If Theriot hits 4 more homers this year, I’m going to tattoo “PUJOLS” in cyrillic across my forehead.”  Theriot now has 7 homers.  Cust kayin’.

Rich Harden – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks.  Okay, so who was that other guy wearing Harden’s jersey for the first three months?  Piniella blamed Bradley.

Jake Fox – 2-for-3 as Jakie Foxx batted fourth and continued to play 3rd after interleague. Unathletic… like a fox!

Pat Burrell – HR yesterday.  He has three.  He always gets 30.  Do the math!

Carl Crawford – Stole his 40th base and hit his 7th homer yesterday.  I think he’ll be fine this year, but I’m betting he might be a wee bit overrated going into next year.  And that’s me anticipating me!

Roy Halladay – 6 IP, 2 ER as he returned from the DL.  Don’t worry about the short game (for him).  I’m sure he’ll be throwing 120 pitches and complete games by mid-July.

Randy Choate – Recorded his 4th save yesterday because Howell pitched three days in a row and Maddon refuses to let a righty save a game.

Ricky Nolasco – 8 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks.  Now has five straight solid starts with only five walks.  From the files of No Kidding, whatever was ailing him before is obviously no longer an issue.

Dan Meyer – Had the opportunity to save the game, but couldn’t close it out and gave way to Nunez.  Meyer’s a real lemon.

David Murphy – Hit a homer and batted third.  Hey, I own him in a league or two, so that’s nice, but third?  Really?

Julio Borbon – Was called up by the Rangers and started as their DH.  Ron Washington said, “We didn’t bring him up here to sit around and watch baseball.”  Grey Albright said, “Cool.  What can we expect from him?”  Ron Washington said, “SAGNOF!”  Grey said, “That works.  Does he stay up after Josh Hamilton returns?”  Washington said, “Quit your prying!”

Luke Hochevar – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners.  He’s suckering you in again, isn’t he?  Stay strong, young Razzball reader.

Miguel Olivo – 3-for-4, and hit his 12th homer.  Matt Wieters went 1-for-4 with an infield single.

Tim Lincecum – Two hitter with 8 Ks.  Still about two years away from his peak years.  Zoinks!

Rick Porcello – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  His time in mixed leagues is just about over.  Say your goodbyes and remember, you’ll always have May.

Roy Oswalt – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, four baserunners vs. the Padres.  Oswalt issued two walks.  Both to Adrian Gonzalez.  See how easy that is?

Randy Wolf – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners.  Wolf’s the king of the good winless start.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 7 IP, 2 ER.  Vin Scully said, “The Dodgers usually scramble his eggs.”  Last night, Ubaldo made omelettes.

Gary Sheffield/Ryan Church – Comatose Mets Fan, “Church and Sheff went a combined 7-for-10 and the Mets lost?!  Did Delgado, Reyes and Beltran do nothing?”  Oh, Comatose Mets Fan, you have a lot of catching up to do.

Fernando Nieve – 3 1/3 IP, 3 ER. 12 baserunners.  I had to look at the play-by-play for this game because it seemed mathematically impossible to have that many baserunners in less than 4 innings and only give up three runs.  He got lucky.  Now if you press your luck and start him again, you may get a whammy.

Carlos Beltran – He’s exploring micro-fracture knee surgery.  Does he have a tiny knee?  C’mon, Mantle played on no knees for ten years!  Have a scotch and get in the lineup!