Apparently, A-Rod’s got a bucket list (get creative with letter replacements for b) that he wrote when he was 15 years old. Madonna, check. Cameron Diaz, check. Christie Brinkley, check. “I wonder if Phoebe Cates will come to my pool party.” To spice things up, he puts on Betamax copies of Skinemax movies. “Oh, Emmanuelle…” Who needs Derek Jeter’s rejects when you can have Mickey Rourke’s?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Erik Bedard is headed to the DL. The Bedarded they come, the Bedarded they fall. So, he has a sprained knee. “Ow, I think I hurt myself getting onto the examination table to have you check my shoulder.” That’s Bedard at the doctor’s office. Right now, the Erich Bedardens are showing the Bennis Carpensheeters a thing or two about staying unhealthy. Keep it sickly, Bedardens! Will be interesting to see if the M’s fill Bedard’s rotation spot with Chris Tillman– Oh, wait. At least the Mariners still have Adam Jones– Oh, that’s right. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dustin Ackley – Slam and legs with the lefty-on-lefty HR against Everyday Jonny Venters. He’s hitting 5th now for the Mariners, which is like hitting 10th for the Yankees. That said, any MI who can hit 10th for the Yankees, is pretty damn good.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Joakim Soria lost the closer job yesterday to Aaron Crow. Yeah, and pigeons fly. Wait, they do. Wait II, The Return of Wait, maybe that makes sense. Yeah, I think it does. Thank you, left side of the brain for working with the right side. Glad you’re talking again. You guys rock! The ax falling on The Mexicutioner was a long time coming. He only had one save in May and had given up 7 runs in 9 1/3 IP. He wasn’t much better in April. In June, he could get the job back. Your deity of choice knows that Aaron Crow isn’t really all that great but he is the guy for right now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Alfonso Soriano – With yesterday’s game with a strained quad. He’ll probably go to the DL by the time you read this, assuming you dinnit stay up to read this at 12:26 AM PST when it was posted. (BTW, Didn’t and I went our separate ways. It’s now dinnit or bust. Don’t, you’re on notice!)
Tony Campana – Yesterday, he had 4 steals (on only one hit!). I’d like to introduce Campana to my right clickie finger that picks players off waivers. In the minors, he showed bonkers speed.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Later, Hawai’ian. Hello, Eric Hosmer. Or as Hosmer might say, “W’oh!” In Triple-A this year, Hosmer had 3 homers and 3 steals in 98 ABs. Year before, 20 homers, 14 steals between Double-A and High-A. Bye, A! The average has been great too. He looks like Votto to me. To take that comparison past the point where it’s still making sense, Votto had 24 homers, 7 steals and a .297 average his first full year. He was 24 though, Hosmer is 21 — I’ll pinch your cheeks you’re so young, you! If Hosmer hits 24 homers with a .297 average this year, I’ll shave my ‘stache, glue it to the middle of my forehead and tattoo lips below it. He’s just a bit too raw. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t own him everywhere. You take the rookie flyer because if it pans out the trade value inflates like Butler’s moobs after he drinks a quart of milk. Conservatively, I’ll give Hosmer 17 homers, 6 steals and .280. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Lyon – Lyon was the lead until Hosmer got the call. Rudy came up with titles and everything, so you get a bonus lead-in today. Discarded titles were, “Lyon Sent To Vet,” “Lyon Caged, Astro Fans Rejoice,” and, “Astros Stop Lyon To Themselves.” Lyon has a torn rotator cuff. They should get the doctor that made Lee Majors bionic cause Lyon needs all the help he can get. Mark Melancon is the man to own in Houston, though the word out of the 5th ward is Ed Wade’s Toupee is trying to lose every game the rest of the season, or at least his GM’ing makes it seem that way. Seriously, he can’t even pick out a decent toupee and he’s going to GM a major league team? He looks like a Computer Science teacher who’s still teaching BASIC. Melancon isn’t the meow’s cat or anything. His fastball is kinda whatever, but he gets some Ks, groundballs and Lyon is out. I’d own Melancon everywhere, he could run with the job all year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
These guys are ON FIRE…will they stay hot?
Ben Zobrist – He has been a sort of “super-sub” who’s managed to get a full season’s worth of at-bats over the past couple of seasons. His usefulness has been derived mostly from his flexibility, as he currently qualifies at 1B, 2B, and OF.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With more outfielders than random hairs growing from my grandfather’s ear, we take it to the top 60 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball. These guys may seem like they’re not worth the effort, but remember last year Colby Rasmus, Drew Stubbs and Corey Hart were found here. As with the other 2011 fantasy baseball rankings, where tiers start and stop are mentioned and my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:
41.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs. This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN! All the way across the sky! OH. MY. GOD. A double home run. Wait, is this a triple home run? No, it’s a double home run. It’s beautiful. *cries* The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health. If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average. Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27. Yum with a double shot of gimme. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Eric Young Jr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Thought I’d take a look at a random fellow RCL manager’s draft and in-season moves to see if we could learn anything that may help us improve our own management skills. First, a look at DRAFT DAY. These are the SIX player positions (of the TOP TEN picks) that are still left on his team from draft day:
1 Infielder (Weren’t we supposed to target more than one on draft day?)
1 OF (Round 9; got to have at least one from Pujols, Braun, Kemp, Holliday, don’t we?)
2 SP (Isn’t pitching much more fragile than hitting?)
2 RP (SAGNOF; wow, Round 6 and Round 8; wouldn’t they have been better off with another infielder and outfielder?)
Is it possible that this team is dead last, given that they only have TWO POSITION PLAYERS left from their top ten picks on draft day? Maybe I should have picked another team, but let’s try to glean something.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For the Ministry of Silly Names, this is a great day. Finally, Coco Crisp gets his just deserts, or is it breakfast? Coco Crisp has had a problem with injuries in the past, constantly going snap, crackle, pop. Now I’m with Coco, as long as he doesn’t move to TBS. His game was Baroque, now it’s roCoco. He steals so many bases, it could be considered cereal. The amount of puns with Crisp is radicchio. Since August he’s hitting .345 in August and has 15 steals in the last two months. You say tomato, I say SAGNOF. He’s only owned in 32% of ESPN leagues and that’s about 68% short of making sense. Dyslexic gang members aren’t the only ones that should show Crisp some love. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Eric Young Jr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Morrow lost the no-hitter but pitched as well as any pitcher this year. 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks and 17 Ks. Though not everyone was impressed. When reached for comment after the game, Adam Lind said, “If you gave me 27 outs, I could strike out 17 times.” Did Morrow go near-no-no vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?