What a ridonkulous season from Melky Cabrera.  Most of youse didn’t even draft him and here he is in September going 4-for-5 with his 18th homer, raising his average to .303 to go along with 18 steals.  As they used to say in 14th century China, “Damn, Ming.”  The spilled coffee on the saucer that then drips onto your dress shirt is I don’t trust this guy at all for next year.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With Nelson Cruz hitting the DL (I’ll get to that schmohawk), the Rangers called up Leonys Martin.  Martin could be a poor man’s Desmond Jennings, in other words he’ll be a 2nd ballot Hall of Famer, not 1st.  Martin has breezed through the minor leagues, starting in the Rookie league, jumping to Double-A and finally hitting Triple-A.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.”  First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix.  I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know that slo-mo video of Homer Simpson taking a cannonball off his belly?  This looked more painful. When Carlos Santana, the future of the Indians franchise, went down in this collision, his knee said, “I wish I were Joe Theismann’s knee.”  To stay in the world of The Simpsons, you can see the exact moment when Cleveland’s heart breaks.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The other day I looked at the pitchers that were getting lucky for fantasy baseball.  Today, we put on our miner’s helmet and pan for gold where the rest of the prospectors have abandoned.  In our last look at pitchers that should get better, I pointed out Gavin Floyd, Haren, Randy Wells, Edwin Jackson, Pineiro, Harang, Correia, Masterson, Peavy and Morrow.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?