For the first time in over two years, Jonathan Papelbon is no longer a $12 Salad. I know, call your Congressman. Pass Prop 12. There’s been signs for a long time that he wasn’t the same closer from 2007. I didn’t want to move him because he seemed like the epitome of a $12 Salad. Overpriced lettuce?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ramon Troncoso
The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month. With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it. No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard? Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be? No, of course, I can’t. It would be too easy. I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them. Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman.
Please, blog, may I have some more?As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD. Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joe Nathan and Huston Street are gone and everyone moved up. That’s why people like Matt Capps and Chris Perez have done little but squat on the john yet moved up the rankings. Though I still managed to find a way to not move up Brian Fuentes. The way we’re going there won’t be any $12 Salads by May. Then what? $8 Side Dishes? Who needs roasted cauliflower with truffle oil? Not me! I’m happy with a baked potato. Yes, sir! Hmm… Maybe I shouldn’t write these right before lunch. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week I’ll tackle the National League (Sorry, football season never really ends for me). I know it doesn’t get better than this — let’s party till the ‘rents come home. I don’t know what intrigues me more: relief pitching or if someone is eating ice cream and I don’t know what flavor it is. I digress, but, nonetheless, relief pitching changes from day to day.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s good to be past the trading deadline. The closers that kept their job feel woobie-safe. Pull down the Murphy bed, Qualls is here to stay! You might be right, random italicized voice. Don’t forget, closers still find a way to lose their job. In the past week, Downs is down, Jenks looks jenky, Frank-Frank is a baby sneeze away from another stint on the DL, I fully expect Lindstrom to get back in the closer picture within two weeks and Nathan seems about as safe as they come and yet, he’s still just a closer. Look at the ground with your forward facing eyes and put some drops in the eyes in the back of your head. In other words, don’t settle in. Sleep is the cousin of death. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Right now, Jason Bartlett has a 45/8/39/.347/19 line. At 29-years-old, he’s flying past his career numbers. Before this season, his career high for homers was 5. He’s already at 8. So let’s say the talk of his new jack swing is true; he can hit for more power now. He’s still not hitting more than 5 homers in the 2nd half (he hit 1 homer in June and July in 87 ABs). Recently, Maddon has batted him 7th or 8th in the order. So the runs won’t come easy unless he eats at Taco Bell. He’s a career .286 hitter with a .398 BABIP right now, so the average will come down. He’s never stolen more than 23 bases in a season, but let’s say he blows that away by ten. So let’s be optimistic and say a 2nd half line of 30/5/35/.300/14. I ran an ultraviolet light over my bedsheets and it read, “That sounds a lot like Clint Barmes’s 2nd half.” Thanks for confirming my suspicions, bed! So Bartlett is a Sell. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Josh Whitesell – Speaking of -sells, but this one’s a Buy… Kinda. Whitesell doesn’t have every day playing time right now, so grab him in NL-Only leagues, but everywhere else I’d hold tight. So, I guess, that’s a Whitehold.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers. Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers. But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves. Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast. If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple. I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers. Think Shields for two donkey-corns. Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze. It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses. And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
