When Heath Bell looked like garbage on Sunday, Frank Francisco returned serve with three of his own runs. It was like watching a tennis match between Jon Lovitz and that guy from Felicity. Rather than getting the hook by his manager, Frank-Frank was ejected for arguing balls and strikes. The ump should’ve told him, “With your stuff, I wouldn’t have the balls to throw strikes either.” Jon Rauch is next in line here, but, before the ink can dry on his neck, he could lose the job too. Though, I would grab him, in the non-sexual way. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ike Davis – Sat out yesterday with flu-like symptoms. Like. Oh. My. Gahd. I hopes it’s not Valley Fever. Please, blog, may I have some more?
That sound you hear is my heart going a pitter patter for Brandon Belt. That sound you might also hear is Bruce Springsteen on my iTunes. He’s singing the September 11th Telethon version of My City Of Ruins. It gives me chills eleven years later. Now to completely sully that beautiful image, I keep hearing, “Now the sweet veils of fantasy… Drift through the evening news… Young men at my corner…Like scattered leaves… The boarded up closers… I can’t believe one of the injured closers wasn’t Huston Street… The hustlers and base thieves… My pants are down below my knees… Where’s my Belt? My team’s in ruins! My team’s in ruins! Come on rise up! I need a Belt. Come on rise up! I need my Belt!” At this point, I don’t care if Belt plays every day, he should be owned IN CASE (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) he plays every day. He’s capable of great things. Trust me, if you drop, say, Jason Kubel, you won’t regret it, but if you don’t pick up Belt you may. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Alfredo Aceves – How about we get SAGNOF out of the way right off the bat this week? Please, blog, may I have some more?
You smell that? No, not your armpits. That’s Opening Day. The real thing this time! I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee. I love you! I want to touch baseball’s boobies! They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies! I am gushing over baseball’s boobies! Grey, um, you’re writing this down; this isn’t your inner monologue. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alright, so mockdraftcentral still has Allen Craig (or as I like to call him, Craig Allen because he has two first names and it’s just confusing) in their 300 ADP, and he’s getting drafted at a 61.5% clip. This wouldn’t seem like someone who’s flying under any radars, Grey or not. However, they also have Jorge Posada drafted in 15.8% of leagues so let’s just realize there are some people who need corks on their forks out there who only draft players because they saw them in the World Series that one time. Unfortunately, one of those Ruprechts out there might be lucking into a very valuable season. I’m veering off the unbeaten path back onto the beaten to feature him because I see someone who is 2B eligible in yahoo leagues that could conceivably hit you 18 to 20 HRs with 450 at-bats. Even discounting his 2011 line, you might stumble into a .280 average with 70 RBIs. If you’re willing to draft Chase Utley or Rickie Weeks in the 7th round, I don’t see how you can’t like the idea of getting similar counting stats from the 20th round on down minus the steals. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball are a shallow bowl of dung and even the catchers are ranked ahead of them for depth. All the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. (Don’t worry, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to link to things a little more seamlessly). Shortstops usually get the short end of the stick when I’m drafting. If I don’t get a top guy from the first two rounds, I’ll probably just take a flyer on some late round player. Honestly, I don’t even really want to mess with Tulo, Reyes and Ramirez. So, to amend what I just said, I usually just take a late flyer on a shortstop. I honestly can’t remember the last time I drafted a 1st or 2nd round shortstop, and I play in about ten leagues per year. In leagues that play a middle infielder, then you might need two of these schmohawks. Hopefully, you can grab two decent 2nd basemen and only need one of these guys. As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where I think tiers start and stop and my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mark Trumbo is done for the year with a stress fracture in his foot. What an inauspicious end to his rookie season, if I’m using the word inauspicious correctly, or even spelling it right. Year line was 65/29/87/.254/9. Trumbo’s OBP was tizzerrible at .291, but his minor league rates suggest he can grow into someone that can take a walk here and there. He’ll never be a .400 OBP guy. The power and the light speed is for real. His most impressive number for this year? 539. As in the number at-bats Scioscia gave him. Sure, he was a bit hogtied with Kendrys adding an S for “sidelined.” In 2012 when Kendrys returns (or is the verb singular there?), we’ll see if Scioscia learned his lesson that every player doesn’t need to be a variation of a light-hitting middle infielder. I have my doubts. There’s talk Trumbo could see action at third base next year, but he fields about as well as Dalton Trumbo avoided commie accusations. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:
Yovani Gallardo – Scratched from his last start so he’s ready for the postseason. Um, I have fantasy championships on the line? Hello, priorities. On a real baseball note, I hope the Brewers go all the way in the playoffs. That is who I’m rooting for. Or is it whom? Anyhoo! (Anywhom?) Not just because I want to see Selig’s toupee get all bent out of shape when he hands the World Series trophy to the owner that replaced him or because I picked them in the preseason. I want the Sausage Race on a national stage. The kielbasa has toiled in obscurity long enough. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss…. Matt Holliday. A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 homers? You know what that is? A good season for Andre Ethier. It’s not a good season for Matt Holliday. Matt Holliday does more than that. At least in my mind. I’m not in your mind so that’s all I have to go on. On the bright side, this injury didn’t cost a moth their life. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the next few days, the Diamondbacks are bringing up their top pitching prospect, Jarrod Parker, to work relief. He’s a starter though, so it’ll be “Parker poseur” for all you indie kids out there with dark-rimmed glasses, smoking American Spirits. In 2009, Stephen wrote, “(His) elbow tightness, that caused him to be DL’d on August 5th leading to a visit to Dr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Every day that Justin Verlander starts, you know there’s a chance of a no-hitter. You just expect it to be thrown by him and not another pitcher. Guillermo Moscoso took a no-hitter into the 8th inning against the Royals and finished with 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks in 8 2/3 IP. He now has 8 wins in 18 starts which is as many wins as Brett Anderson, Dallas Braden, and Rich Harden managed this year combined. Everything about Moscoso’s year screams fluke. His 3.63 ERA / 1.14 WHIP does not gel with 5 K/9 and 3 BB/9. But as an owner of this guy in my AL-only league, all I can say is this guy has been money against bad to average teams. He’s had 4 ugly starts – @BOS, @TAM, @DET, and home against TAM. His home WHIP is now under 1.00 in over 60 innings. His road WHIP is 1.44. There’s not much time left this season but if he has a start against a bad-to-average team at home – I’d go-go for Moscoso. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I said three days ago that Brian Wilson was probably headed for a DL stint. And now he’s on the DL. Confession: I’m a time traveler! And not for stocks or gambling Biff-style, I use my foresight for fantasy baseball. To recap what I’ve been saying, I said three days ago that Brian Wilson– Wait, I should recap from a little further back. Ramon Ramirez already has two saves, so that’s who I’d grab first. Affeldt could get some saves, you just need to put up with his annoying duck. Casilla may sneak into the picture, but I wouldn’t go deeper than one of these guys unless you’re very desperate. Though remember closers can smell desperation and you’ll never get any saves like that. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce that this afternoon there will be announcement. Please, blog, may I have some more?