Gird your loins – we’re going to be navigating positions battles in each division. Today I’m talking about the NL Central, which loses the Astros this year, so you can basically knock off five wins from each team’s 2012 win total. It feels like this could be a close race for the first couple months until the Reds replace Dusty’s toothpick with bubblegum at the trade deadline. There’s also a good amount of both young and rebound pitchers spread out across the division, so this could be a boon for late round draft picks in mixed leagues. Am I telling you to draft a pitching staff solely from the NL Central? Those are your words, not mine. Although I kind of wish they had been my words (you quick thinker, you). You can also read about the position battles for the NL East and the AL Central. Anyway, here are some of the position battles to watch in the NL Central:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So this is weird, but the top 20 shortstops for 2013 fantasy baseball are deeper than the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball. Here, my new favorite BFF, Josh Rutledge, is ranked 10th. On the 2nd basemen post he was ranked 8th. The middle tiers for the shortstops goes on forever, then it falls off a cliff, ending with a Cliff. (Symmetry points!) For those in leagues with a middle infidel, you have the answer to where you are drafting that slot from. Up until last year, I usually gave shortstops the short end of the stick with my drafting. I’d grab one late and that was that. I still don’t see any way I’m drafting a top shortstop. I honestly can’t remember the last time I drafted a 1st or 2nd round shortstop, and I play in about ten leagues per year. I could see grabbing one or even two from the 4th ranked guy here until the 19th ranked guy, where I’ll probably only have one 2nd baseman. Last year it was the opposite. As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where I think tiers start and stop and my projections. All the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. Unsuccinct! Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Top 20 catchers, 1st basemen and 2nd basemen are in the books. What a strange, glorious trip it’s been! Though not really. Today, the top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball get to shine. Hmm… Actually, most of these won’t shine. They’re cloudy with a chance of crapballs. To be a bit more specific, the top ten shortstops were about equal with the 2nd basemen through the top 10, then they fall off the map like a 12th century explorer.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Jason Kipnis went 2-for-4 with his 13th homer. Member when he had 11 homers going into the All-Star break and we were like, “Yo, I’d let Kipnis sleep with my baby’s mama. He earned that shizz, yo. Just make sure you change the sheets, that’s all I ask.Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know that cracked out guy at the 7-11 at 3 AM who’s just trying to get a cylindrical hamburger for free? ”Yo, man, can I get me a cylindrical hamburger?” Grabs said hot doggey-looking burger and jets for the exit.Please, blog, may I have some more?
And another rookie is called up. It’s raining rookies that I will pick up for a few days and then drop if they don’t pan out in a matter of three days. First, let’s see what our prospect writer, Scott, said just four days ago about Manny Machado, “Machado’s line on the year at Double-A isn’t pretty: .266/.350/.431, 10 HR. Still, he’s not slipping much in mid-season prospect rankings, as scouts and pundits continue to believe in his tools. At just 20 years old, there’s ample time for him to play up to his potential, and I’m inclined to agree with the masses — Machado is still a future fantasy stud.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I almost made Tim Lincecum today’s Buy. His FIP really isn’t bad. He just always seems to have one bad inning. His numbers with men in scoring position: .346/.471/.547 vs. .243/.313/.379 with none on. But I’m not going to tell you to Buy Lincecum. I’m not sticking my neck out for him! He smokes marijuana! Now, Roy Oswalt I can get lukewarm about! How’s dem apples? Mildly delicious! You do have to think Lincecum can come around though, right? Forget him! We’re through talking about him. We’re talking about that handsome man riding a tractor, wearing $400 overalls. “Roy, when you chew straw, you ever feel like neighing?” “Never, Billy.” That’s Roy talking to Billy, who lives next door from him, and they share a special bond because their bathroom windows face each other from across the yard. It’s like American Beauty, but less beauty and more horses. American Black Beauty, that’s what they call it. But, really, don’t you think Lincecum’s at least worth a roll of the die if you can get him cheap enough? Forget Lincecum! We’re not talking about him. We are talking about Roy Oswalt. Yeah, he’s about to sign with someone. I think he can get around a 3.75 ERA, solid WHIP and a 7-ish K-rate, i.e., AKA, vis-à-vis, ergo, henceforth, where’d the rest of this sentence go, a number four fantasy starter. But what about Lincecum?! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Elliot Johnson – He’s 28 years old. I can almost guarantee you his parents named him after the kid in E.T. While Longoria is on Reese’s, Elliot’s piecing together a solid couple of weeks. What? Terrible?Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Heath Bell looked like garbage on Sunday, Frank Francisco returned serve with three of his own runs. It was like watching a tennis match between Jon Lovitz and that guy from Felicity. Rather than getting the hook by his manager, Frank-Frank was ejected for arguing balls and strikes. The ump should’ve told him, “With your stuff, I wouldn’t have the balls to throw strikes either.” Jon Rauch is next in line here, but, before the ink can dry on his neck, he could lose the job too. Though, I would grab him, in the non-sexual way. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ike Davis – Sat out yesterday with flu-like symptoms. Like. Oh. My. Gahd. I hopes it’s not Valley Fever.Please, blog, may I have some more?
That sound you hear is my heart going a pitter patter for Brandon Belt. That sound you might also hear is Bruce Springsteen on my iTunes. He’s singing the September 11th Telethon version of My City Of Ruins. It gives me chills eleven years later. Now to completely sully that beautiful image, I keep hearing, “Now the sweet veils of fantasy… Drift through the evening news… Young men at my corner…Like scattered leaves… The boarded up closers… I can’t believe one of the injured closers wasn’t Huston Street… The hustlers and base thieves… My pants are down below my knees… Where’s my Belt? My team’s in ruins! My team’s in ruins! Come on rise up! I need a Belt. Come on rise up! I need my Belt!” At this point, I don’t care if Belt plays every day, he should be owned IN CASE (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) he plays every day. He’s capable of great things. Trust me, if you drop, say, Jason Kubel, you won’t regret it, but if you don’t pick up Belt you may. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Alfredo Aceves – How about we get SAGNOF out of the way right off the bat this week?Please, blog, may I have some more?
You smell that? No, not your armpits. That’s Opening Day. The real thing this time! I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee. I love you! I want to touch baseball’s boobies! They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies! I am gushing over baseball’s boobies! Grey, um, you’re writing this down; this isn’t your inner monologue.Please, blog, may I have some more?