Eric Thames went 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and hit two more homers (9, 10).  *does exaggerated yawn*  Justice Eric Ruth Thames is like, “Yeah, I had a harder time in Korea, ya’ll suck.”  Jer-Ru the Damaja is like, “The Sun Also Rises in the East, and sets in Milwaukee when I’m done hitting homers, goodnight.”  At this point, I’m surprised Justice didn’t hit, like, 80 homers a season in Korea.  Who got this guy out?  An NL team should sign that guy.  Or watch the Korean broadcasts of the games to see how they got him out, if for no other reason than the weird game show-like moments in-between innings when they’d have contestants try to find which part of the stadium is made of chocolate.  (I know this is Japanese, but it’s funny, so stop with your judging.  Leave that to the Justice!)

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Zack Greinke, $18,000 was the 2015 Cy Young runner-up to Jake Arrieta.  Jake from State Farm’s second half was magical, but at 19-3, 1.66 ERA, 200 Ks in 222 innings Zack Attack was a close second. For all that hard work he was rewarded with a 6 year, $206 million dollar contract (that’s basically a million per start or $10k per game thrown pitch).  Damn Son, that’s a whole lotta bread, enough bread to lure him into the confines of Coors Jr.  We knew his stats were going to take a hit, but Greinke’s stats for 2016 were awful; 13-7, 4.37 ERA and 134 Ks over 159 innings of work.  That was his highest ERA in the last 10 seasons and he pitch in hitter friendly Miller Park for two seasons.  I hope he’s enjoying all that dough, because his stats were right there with Jon Gray who pitches in Coors.  Not what you were looking for with a top draft pick, but the good news he looks like he’s back.  If you threw out the clunker against the Dodgers, he’s sporting a 2.22 ERA with 16 Ks over 16.2 innings.  Tonight he is at home. Not ideal, but Arizona did install a humidor like Coors to keep the HR’s down.  Obviously it’s an extremely small sample size but over 9 games, the 2.44 HR’s per game are just a tick above the league average of 2.34.  Zack Attack is facing the struggling Padres who own the league’s lowest slugging percentage and at $18K I’m feeling it.  Now that we’ve got tonight’s Ace in place, let’s see who else we can roster so we can get a small piece of that Zack Greinke bread.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

: Regerts, I’ve had a few.

Me:  Here Frank, have a Snickers.  Better?

:  Yah.  Why?

Me:  You’re not yourself when you’re hungry.

My wife and I went to see a Frank Sinatra impersonator the other day.  He did Frank.  He did Sammy.  He did Dean.  Shoot, I think he did my wife.  What he didn’t do is regret stacking Tigers against James Shields last week.  Because he didn’t.  Stack, that is.  He sang pretty well though.  Shields was not a great stack.  You know who has a great stack?  Never mind, I won’t regert, er, regret answering that one.  I did win both my bets though.  The Pale Hose allowed me to cover the over against the Tigers and the Nats won.  Ha!

Enough looking back.  Let’s look at our Thursday choices for FanDuel.  We’ll have it…..My Way!  Ha!

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we’ve seen countless times, a logjam in a starting rotation never ends up being a hurtle. At first, the Astros were seemingly cutting out Lance McCullers with boring vets like Doug Fister and Scott Feldman, the latter who has really not worked out as a starter… Feldman was throwing some good RP innings though, before they dumped him north of the border… Anyway, with McCullers’ elbow barking, it opened a spot for Joe Musgrove to step right into the rotation.

I’ve been thinking back; has there been a more exciting SP debut for a guy coming out of the bullpen at first? 4.1 innings coming in for the injured McCullers with 1 hit, 1 walk, and 8 Ks and a Jose Fernandez-esque fiery presence from Musgrove. Brian McCann will be a big baby whenever the Yankees face him… 8 strikeouts has to be close to a record for an MLB debut out of the bullpen (broadcast tells me it tied the record, nice work Astros broadcast!)… I guess without the clear opening through the season, it dulled the fantasy love for Musgrove, who had a crazy 10.25:1.03 K:BB in AA and 8.69:1.07 in AAA. Makes Phil Hughes look wild! Although, throwing Phil Hughes’ name in here isn’t exciting anyone… Hopefully a good outing and sexy GIFs will do that! Here’s how Musgrove looked yesterday afternoon in his first career MLB start:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You flip through your cassette singles.  You pop in James Ingram’s Just Once cassette single, but decide that’s better to play right after taking the love of your life for an abortion.  You then pop in the In Your Eyes cassette single, but it feels too Say Anything.  You then pop in the Always & Forever single you played on the way to prom, and it…feels right.  You take your boombox and place it on your shoulder, Luther Vandross plays obnoxiously loud if Vandross could ever be obnoxious, but you decide he can’t be.  The song gets to the end and you flip it over to play the Always & Forever house remix.  Yet, this whole time, Matt Harvey‘s Buy Low Window stays shut.  You wonder why it won’t open again, and sigh.  It’s now shut because yesterday Matt Harvey went 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA down to 5.37.  Looks like the slider returned with his velocity.  Last week I said I didn’t think his problems were unfixable, yesterday he showed they weren’t.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hey, I’ll take two home runs from Khris Davis and be more than happy.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I’ll take one homer.  Gently farting in your direction, Prince Fielder.  Three homers?  Well that is too much for my little old heart.”  So began the monologue I told myself in my mirror last night.  I was wearing a fedora with a feather in it and no pants.  That’s added color for you to understand the scene.  Then, it was the ninth, the A’s in the lead and Davis’s night looked over with two homers until.  Dot dot dot.  Ian Desmond homered off Ryan Madson and sent the game into the bottom of the ninth inning.  Khris Davis came up to the plate, bases loaded, already with two homers on his scoresheet, could he hit one more?  Could my monologue presented to my reflection come to fruition?  Could my neighbors stop screaming for me to put on pants?  Yes on all three!  Finished the night with 3-for-5, 6 RBIs and three homers (9, 10, 11).  I had Davis ranked around eight rounds higher than anyone else because I thought he could easily hit 30 homers in an age when 30 homers doesn’t come that easily.  Has anything changed since the preseason?  Yeah, the date.  Dur.  I love Khris Davis and right now looks even better than his namelganger, Chris Davis.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Crank up that AC/DC and let’s get this party started! Oh and in case you haven’t heard Axl Rose will be joining AC/DC as Brian Johnson will be stepping down due to hearing loss. Bittersweet as I loved me some BJ, but it should be fun to see Axl and Angus rock the stage. Nothing gets the Monday morning juices flowing like AC/DC and seeing Thor on the slate, especially with the rest of sub-par starting pitching options for today. Who is this Thor I speak of (rhetorical, unless you stumbled upon us through some sort of comic con accident). The Thor, I speak of is Noah Syndergaard, the highest priced pitcher today at $12,100. Thor had some big expectations coming into the season, but lets face it, living up to the Norse God of Thunder seemed like an even bigger task. Well in his first two games he’s exceeded those expectations, by absolutely dropping the hammer on opposing batters with 21 K’s, 1ER, 2 BB over the last 13 innings. Last season when he was called up he showed that dominate +95 MPH fastball, 99 MPH sinker and 90 MPH change up that actually danced. That’s a lethal combination, especially when you add in his physical attributes, he only stands 6’6″ and weighs 240 lbs (he’s probably closer to 255, cause dude is jacked) He’s got the nickname, the hair, the body and did I mention that he added a 95 MPH slider to his arsenal? His power pitches were already dominating hitters and now he added this nasty slider that is making him miss even more bats. Thor is not without his flaws as it looked like Miami may have found a small chink in the armor. They got him for 7 hits on Tuesday, but most of those were because they were all swinging on the first pitch, the second and third time through the order. If he can be a little more elusive on the first pitch, we may see an out of this universe season from this stud. If anyone is looking to shower the staff here at Razzball with gifts, I’d like to put my request in for this little New York Mets give away on 4/30 Thor Garden Gnome. With the pitching slate extremely thin today, Thor and Jose Fernandez, $11,300 will be highly rostered, so let’s dive into two other guys who might help us cash in.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

My schmohawk posts are like the fantasy equivalent of Final Destination.  First, A.J. Pollock loses his season, then Kyle Schwarber is carted off the field after running into Fowler.  If I were Miguel Sano, I’d look both ways while carefully crossing to the plate to strikeout.  And Tulo, well, I would just stay in the hyperbaric chamber that you sleep in for your hamstrings.  I’m not sure if it was the writing of the posts, publishing of the posts or simply thinking about writing the posts that jinxed these players.  Where does my kavorka start and end?  Is it okay for me to think bad thoughts about Trevor Story?  How serious are my premonitions?  Oh, and one side note, you never want to see anyone get hurt, but how on earth did Schwarber get hurt and Fowler was fine?  Schwarber’s got like 200 pounds on him.  Damn, Dexter Fowler is one strong bean.  So, Schwarber has a sprained ankle and is headed for an MRI today.  He could be gone for a while, which could help Jorge Soler see some light, though I’m not sure this won’t just mean more playing time for Matt Szczur, Javier Baez (when he returns) or Kris Bryant into the outfield.  I’m not even joking; Maddon’s playbook is written in hieroglyphics and the Rosetta Stone didn’t make it through baggage claim.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’re not a fan of The Walking Dead or haven’t watched last week’s episode, then you can just skip this paragraph. Am I that only one that cheered when that arrow shot through Denise’s eye? That was awesome. Her insufferable rant made me want to jump into the television and drop the People’s Elbow on that thang. Thankfully the writers took care of that for me. I also loved seeing Daryl reunited with his crossbow. Welcome back! With only two episodes left I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see what will happen. Here’s my theory. A major character has to die. It’s happened every season. So who’s going to die? My money is on Glen. Here’s why? The writers have already teased his death. Back in episode 3 “Thank You” Glen appeared to meet his demise after he fell off the dumpster. It wasn’t until episode 7 “Heads Up“, four weeks later, that we found out he survived. I believe the writers were testing the waters to see how the fans would react to killing off Glen. That’s my theory. With that said, if they kill off Daryl I’m going to lose my sh*t. Literally!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week, we looked at a few metrics that I like to use when evaluating hitters for fantasy baseball. This week, it’s time to take a look at some of the key pitcher stats that are useful for projecting future performance. If you’re a fantasy nut like me and have several more drafts lined up over the next thirteen days (six more for me, to be exact), it’s probably a good idea to dispense with the jibber jabber and get to it!

With that in mind, here are some things that I look for when evaluating pitchers for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?