Usually on Friday we do our Buy and Sell feature, but with September 1st knocking on August’s door — August 31st is that you? Uh… No. August 30th? Nope. August 32nd? No, you nitwit! It’s September 1st! – it’s time we looked at September call ups. These are potential September call ups that will, should, could and potentially make or not make a difference in fantasy baseball. So take a drag on that Newport cause Razzball’s Alive With Pleasure with September call ups. Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball:

Max Scherzer and Mat Gamel - Both mentioned in the other day’s fantasy baseball keeper post. Jobacum will get the call; Gamel will more than likely not.

Joe Koshansky - Corner guy for the Rockies. Some pop + Coors = Hall of Fame career? Perhaps. This offseason, Helton (who?) or Atkins or both will be on their way out, which could open some room for Koshansky. NL-Only’ers and keepers should toss a few bucks Koshansky’s way. (BTW, Koshanky, Iannetta and Tulowitzki sounds like an immigration law firm. Or the last surviving immigrants who orginally arrived on Ellis Island.)

Colby Rasmus - LaRussa says Rasmus is not getting the call up. Was he sober when he said this? You make the call!

David Price - A) I don’t think he’s ready to start in the big leagues. B) The Rays staff is filled. C) The Rays are a super-conservative team with prospects. Look for Price in ‘09.

Travis Hafner - Well, there’s a rookie name! If you have room on your DL, you can continue to hold him, but he’s missed three games this week in the minors due to shoulder soreness. Let’s not forget the comatose Indians fan who woke to see the Indians backup catcher with 17HRs and think the team was doing well. You may get Pronk’d!

Shaun Marcum - You’re familiar with his issues. You should avoid until TBD.

Brandon Wood -Here’s someone I really like when he gets called up (it will be a bit late because of playoffs for his minor league team). Scioscia will probably bench his regulars here and there when they clinch so he should be able to wedge Wood into the lineup.

Chris Ray - Soon Tommy John surgery will be an outpatient procedure. Bonkers, I tell ya. Absolutely bonkers.

Jerry Owens - Only seeing playing time late in the year if there’s an injury or the Sox clinch with room to spare. Still SAGNOF.

Adam Jones - Another “not really a call up,” but should be back burning jays by next week.

Jason Pridie - Twins prospect/outfielder who might get called up. Has some speed and power. Decided to drop trou and take a dump on his Triple-A production this year. That’s not an endorsement.

Jay Gibbons - His possible reappearance couldn’t even get Dame Jane Goodall’s nipples hard.

Jordan Schafer - As I mentioned the other day, Wren says the Braves will not call up Schafer. Stay tuned… Or not. Or yacht. Or…huh?

Brad Nelson - Needs to get out of the ginormous shadow of Prince Fielder if he’s going to have any chance for success.

Jeff Larish - Already been called up to replace Carlos Guillen. He has pop, but a liability on average. Should be on AL-Only keeper teams already, and worth the flier if he isn’t. Yo, that shizz is Larish!

Cameron Maybin - If he’s not owned in NL-Only leagues already and keepers, he should be. His floor is Mike Cameron. His ceiling is Derrek, who’s this kid I went to high school with that hit something like .790 with 20 HRs and 40 steals in just under 30 games. It was unreal.

J.R. Towles - Casual Reader of this site, “Hey, I drafted him!” Well, don’t go picking him back up.

Blake DeWitt - Mentioned him the other day, in the Ryan Zimmerman fantasy prediction
post-a-roo-ski.

Jon Niese - Supposedly getting the start for Maine on Sept. 2nd or August 33rd for those that don’t want August to end. If the start goes well, you might see more of Niese (BTW, no relation to Eric Nies).

Phil Hughes - For of youse out there with Bobby Meacham pillow cases and “Kiss Me I Got Jeter’s Autograph” t-shirts don’t do it. Put down that Hughes for this year.

Matt Murton - If he doesn’t get the call then The Federation For Equal Treatment of Gingies may have to step in. (That’s definition #2, btw.)

Steve Pearce - I pimped out my merkin with words of praise for Pearce earlier in the year, but he showed everything that Pittsburgh touches turns to Jack Wilson.

Andrew McCutchen - Can’t someone hire Bobby Bonilla to give an inspiration speech about how the Pirates were once good?

Brandon Morrow - I’ve covered him already. I’ll save you a sidebar search. I’m not buying into him for September.

Nadir Bupkus - The future of the San Diego Padres franchise.

Delmon Young has 7 home runs for the season, but 3 in the last seven games. Mouth on the left side of the screen says, “Tor-.” Mouth on the right side of the screen says, “-rid.”  …Torrid. Capital T, lowercase -orrid. (As if there’s any other kind of -orrid.) This is a whole lot better than horrid, which he was the first half of the season. Delmon has jowls of a near-20 HR hitter or so say just about every fantasy baseball ‘pert in the beginning of the year. Composite projections look like 76/17/88/.290/15. That’s Shandler, Baseball Prospectus, Rotowire and our own Rudy Gamble’s Point Shares. (See, we only sound arrogant like we don’t read/listen to any other ‘perts, but that’s not true. We’re just aware you’re not that interested in reading how we come to our conclusions. And even less interested in hearing how you are uninterested.) But right now Delmon Young is at 61/7/52/.290/13. So does this mean all of the ‘perts are wrong on Delmon or will he go on an absolute tear in the final 40 games? I’d say a little bit of both probably. He’ll fall low on RBIs, slightly higher on steals, but HRs can be made up fast and I’m buying that he gets close to 17. Anyway, here’s some players to buy and sell for fantasy baseball:

BUY

Marlon Byrd - Don’t Cha wish your last week was fly like me… Don’t Cha!

Melvin Mora - I’ve never liked Mora. Just doesn’t seem like he cares much. But he’s hitting third on the Orioles (I know, great shakes!) and he’s hit .384 since the All-Star break with 6 Melvins and 32 Moras.

Joey Devine -Season numbers look incredible. How incredible, Grey? Tell us! Okay, but don’t sit on my lap. It’s weird. 32 Ks in 27.2 IP, a .98 ERA and a .98 WHIP. For those that read the FBHOF posts and have an encyclopedic memory, like moi, you won’t need this reminder, but go check out this FBHOF post and read about Eck’s historic season. Identical ERA/WHIP ain’t easy, son. (Not son as in I’m your Dad, but you were just sitting on my lap.)

Brad Ziegler - *shakes fist at defaced poster of Orel Hershiser* Don’t worry, you still got value, Ziegler. A whole lot more than that other German reliever, Heilman.

Jensen Lewis - I love Swensen’s! (Editor’s note: Swensen’s did not pay for Grey’s endorsement. In fact, if they knew, they would probably request Grey keep their name out of his mouth.)

Matt Capps - Only about a week away. If he was dropped in your league, I’d pick him up if you have room. Nope, no room! Sure, just move the camping gear out of the trunk.

Jeff Kent - So everyone pegs this D-Bag to get 17 Hrs, he’s at 11. And that was before Manny. I just grabbed him in a 15 team ‘pert league.

Asdrubal Cabrera - Yes, his first name sounds like a leaky bum, but in August he’s batting .310 with 2 HRs and a 1 steal.

Ty Wiggington - Another hot 2nd baseman. Actually, he’s been hot for a 3rd baseman. Surprising factoid of the day, he’s only 30. I would’ve guessed 37.

Wandy Rodriguez - No Rhyme or Reason, “Yeah, I can talk. Whaddup?” “I’m picking up Wandy.” No Rhyme or Reason, “That makes sense to me.”

Dan Wheeler/Grant Balfour - I’m grabbing Wheeler first, and only after he’s gone am I looking at Balfour. UPDATE: Since I wrote this, the Rays announced Balfour would fill-in. Saves are the bottom line, so he should be the first one grabbed. I still think Wheeler will get a handful of chances.

Jeff Francoeur - As I like to say about one of my female neighbors, “What a bust.” But the other day, he hit his first home run in over month. If you didn’t have Frenchy throughout his razztastic season and he’s sitting on your league’s waiver wire, he could have value in the last 40 games.

Chris Dickerson - Okay, so I touted him here and here in the last day. Get Off My Dickerson And Tell Yo B**** To Come Here. (BTW, **** Weren’t asterisks to look below the post. That was to fill in for “itch.”)

SELL

Jed Lowrie - The newest recipient of the tooting of the Sons of Sam’s Horn. With one home run and zero steals in 122 at-bats, I wouldn’t even be talking about him if he was on any other team.

Chris Young - Looks like a lost season and I’d just drop him to waivers, except in the deepest of leagues.

Jorge Campillo - Getting off here, fellas. Next stop, Pueblo de Wandy Rodriguez.

Phil Hughes - Holy heffin’ heff, ESPN JUST!!! announced that the NY Daily News announced that the Yankees might announce Hughes might take over for Giese. I guess it’s better than their usual announcement that Hank Steinbrenner farted.

D.J. Carrasco - First he played the skinny, cracked out buddy in those teen comedies and now he might take Contreras’s spot in the rotation. He’s worth a flier in AL-Only leagues, that’s about it.

Paul Byrd - Yes, being on the Sox gives him a bit more value. But he doesn’t strikeout anyone. Last year, in nearly 200 innings he K’d 88 guys (only two of those were Adam Dunn, but 16% of them came in interleague). He’s onto some similar yawnstipating numbers this year. He’s given up 23 HRs compared to his schmohawkian 56 Ks. Has he been good recently? Yup. Could he be good against the Jays tonight? Perhaps. In the long run, Koko B. Ware because the Byrd man will kill you.

Troy Percival - After the game, he was seen in crutches (and some fly-ass Zubaz). Percival lost nearly a month with a sore hammy. Now he’s on crutches (in fly-ass Zubaz) as he heads to the DL and he’s old as dog balls. I’d drop him if your DL-spot is Nissan Sentra crowded.

Daniel Cabrera - Member that girl you slept with who bugged out and put together a future photo album, which was pictures of Ken and Barbie posing as you and the girl in the future?  Dooooode! Cabrera’s the pitching equivalent of that crazy ass chick!

Cliff Lee threw nine innings of shutout ball to lower his ERA to 0.67. Seriously, he’s not Bob Gibson. He wasn’t even the best pitcher in his game last night. Shaun Marcum got him there. If someone’s buying into Lee’s early season performance, can you command a high offensive guy in a trade? You can try. His brother from another mother, Carlos Lee? Maybe. Markakis? Rios? Tex? Possibilities. This is why you have to send out feelers. Cliff Lee will be untradeable at the first sign of trouble. He doesn’t have a track record to instill much confidence. If you can’t get someone to trade Lee to right now, you have to hope he has a career year and doesn’t regress to his career norms. His peripherals all look solid, but history tells us he’s not what he’s been thus far. I would not trade for Cliff Lee (unless the owner is worried the correction is coming and wants to undersell him). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Erik Bedard - Gave up 6 ER in 2 IP. Blowing a 5 run cushion after the top half of the 1st inning. In fairness, Texas has a really deep lineup: Kinsler, Young, Hamilton, Bradley…. Um… Toby Harrah, a guy named Murphy, a Boggs that only plays like he drank 70 beers and Chuck Norris.

Eric Gagne - He pronounced himself fit to close. Other fifteen NL teams agree with him.

Alexis Rios - With Wells’s injury, he’s now batting third. But in one game yesterday, Wilkerson led off. Wilkerson was cut by a team that is starting Jose Vidro at DH.

Adam Wainwright - Co-Chief Officer of Razzball saw a blip on the radar.

Clay Buchholz - The argument over who’s better — Buchholz or Philip Hughes — rages on. Phil Hughes might take the lead soon buoyed by a stint on the DL for a fractured ERA.

John Van Benschoten - Rudy picked him up for his Razzball team. How could he not take a flier on a Pittsburgh starter with Bench in his last name? His 4 IP with 6 ER and 11 base runners were all he could’ve hoped for. Can’t wait for San Francisco to bring up their 1B prospect Bobby Easyout.

Adam Dunn - He has to be the worst RBI guy ever for a 40 HR player. Best case scenario with men in scoring position - sac fly. 5 for 29 with men in scoring position — 11Ks. Last 3 years (2005-2007), he’s hitting .236 with runners in scoring position. Someone tell Dusty that Dunn should be hitting 1st or 2nd. He’s great for OBP. Keep him out of the middle of the lineup.

Barry Zito - He got a victory against the Astros last night. A moral victory. Get the man some orange slices.

Adam LaRoche - He slumped in April like he does every year. 4 HR in last 9 games. He’s got to be available in some leagues.

Livan Hernandez - He’s 6-1. Johan Santana is 4-2. Silva and Lohse continue to get rocked. The Twins are geniuses! (It’s just a matter of time before Nick Punto explodes like Pat Neshek’s elbow.)

Dioner Navarro - Okay, I promised not to say his name again, but I keep getting questions about Johjima and Pudge. Those schmohawks should not be on a team, except in the deepest of leagues. DNV (<—-forced nickname) went three-for-three with 2 RBIs. He’s now batting .363 over 72 at-bats. Last year’s post-All-Star break numbers were 30/8/31/.285/2 in 179 at-bats. He’s only 24.

Wladimir Balentien - Mentioned two weeks ago how Rudy grabbed Wlady while I grabbed Lind, just to spread the Razzball love even though I liked Balentien more. Yeah, I should’ve just grabbed Wlad the Impaler.

Jair Jurrjens - With two outs, Freddy Sanchez got a double that scored three. It was a clutch hit, but Jurrjens looked just fine. I’m still buying.

Aaron Harang - He didn’t pitch that well, but won. See what I mean about wins. Yeah, he’s 70th and Webb’s 10th overall.

Rafael Furcal - Lands on the 15-day DL with a strained lower back. Hope Mia Hamm has a cute friend for him.

Fausto Carmona - Another guy I’m not sold on. His 18/35 K/BB is a disaster waiting to happen.

Mike Jacobs - He was supposed to be back in the lineup last Friday. Not according to me — according to the Marlins. Seriously, teams should be required to release accurate injury reports. I’m having trust issues!

Luis Castillo - Looks like he might be headed to the DL with a strained quad. Castillo has had strained quads for 6 years. That’s like putting Willie McGee on the DL for ugliness.

Josh Hamilton - He is the only player in the majors who has gotten better since he’s been off drugs.

We realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere.

To help remedy this, we will try to occasionally feature locally blogged advice/insights/humor/etc. that will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway).

Send tips to info@razzball.com. Enjoy…

Drunk Jays Fans and Tao of Stieb - Did you think that Yanks and Sawx blogs had the monopoly on AL East expletive-laded rants about their team? Think again, you fuckin’ hoser! Local POV on Wells’ injury, J.P. the GM, David Eckstein (Tao has some great nicknames for him), the resurrection of Eric Hinske, and the 2008 Jays season.

The Nationals Enquirer - Looks like Ryan Zimmerman has joined us and Philip Hughes in the blog world. According to Nationals Enquirer, his hitting has improved since he started the blog. I’m not surprised as I’m having a career softball season this Spring after starting to write for this blog. (Someone send a memo to Barry Zito). I just hope blogging doesn’t hurt Ryan’s wrist like Guitar Hero hurt Joel Zumaya’s forearm.

Sons of Steve Garvey - This well-manned Dodger blog calls out the dead weight in the LA Dodger outfield. Hint: it’s not the one with the Frenchy last name…

Sliding Into Home - Does it make you an old fart if you think Joba Chamberlain shouldn’t celebrate after striking out a schlub like David Delucci? Sure feels like it. FYI, Grey and I like to chest bump after a particularly good blog post.

Sox Machine - A White Sox fan ponders the future of Gavin Floyd - unstoppable force for good or unsustainable good fortune?

If I were an emoticon, I would be a sad face. Maybe Tulowitzki shouldn’t have been jogging in socks and flip-flops after all. The only way he wouldn’t get on track this year is if he were injured. What does Tulo do? Gets injured. Badly, as it turns out. Tulowitzki is out until the All-Star break and that’s being optimistic. As Seinfeld might say, “What is the deal with all of these quad injuries?” In one year leagues, if you have no room on your DL, I’d say drop him. There’s not much positive to be had from these. I picked up Bobby Crosby in one deep league and Barmes in another. Why do I suddenly feel like I want to roller skate down a spiral staircase while carrying eighty pounds of deer meat? Some guys I’d look at to replace Tulowitzki (of course it depends on the league and needs): Felipe Lopez, Erick Aybar, Keppinger, Ronny Cedeno… I just thought of something. How about someone “take out” (those real quotes would be air quotes if we were, ya know, speaking) Grudzielanek? Then we can get Callaspo in there. Oh my God, I’m hoping for Callaspo to replace Tulo. The loss of Tulowitzki has made me delirious. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Chad Cordero - I’ve been saying for three weeks now Rauch gets more saves than Cordero. Now I wouldn’t be surprised if Cordero doesn’t get one more save this year. I’d drop him too, if you have no room.

Phil Hughes - Out until July, you probably don’t have him anyway, except in AL-Only leagues.

BJ Upton - Injury bug’s sure going around. He hurt himself on a swing. He says he’ll be all right. I say expect him to miss ten days, not go on your DL and be a nuisance.

Zach Greinke - Okay, onto something positive. He K’d nine Rangers. I think Carlos Silva could K seven Rangers, so it is what it is. But Greinke looks phenomenal this year. He’s always been a control pitcher with three solid pitches to strikeout opposing hitters. It’s just when he starts acting like Joey from The Real World: Hollywood is when we have to worry. (BTW, I like how the stripper/cokehead comes home with JoJo, a guy who wears a bling gun belt, and tells Joey that he’s a bit too messed up for her. That’s like getting blown off by… Well, a stripper/cokehead. BTW II, I would’ve put spoiler alert, but I don’t think anyone watches this shizz anyway. But I digress.) To think, Meche is better than Greinke. Karabell reminds me of the little kid who lives on my street. They mean well, yet I still wish them harm.

Travis Hafner - Okay, Pronk’s in a funk, but to drop him to sixth against a righty? So Dellucci could bat third? Listen, I’m as big a fan of fourth outfielders as the next guy, but Dellucci? I’m going to move on before I have aneurysm.

Jack Cust - Went 4-for-4 and deep. I really hope this is the start of big things because Rudy’s got him on his Razzball team. Cust kayin’.

Alexis Rios - Home run, steal, and the move to the leadoff spot doesn’t bother me that much. Where you thought you were getting RBIs, you’re now getting a few more runs. You won’t take 120/32/80/.300/25?

AJ Burnett - Burnett has been giving Rudy headaches lately. (Rudy doesn’t mind drafting AL pitchers; buy him a beer sometime and ask him about it. Or search the site. Whatever.) Burnett was wild, but unhittable last night against the Red Sox.

Hiroki Kuroda - Good start, but he seems completely unpredictable.

Paul Byrd - 1.71 ERA in last four starts. I guess that’s good if you had him for the last four starts. I wouldn’t want him for his next four.

Rafael Betancourt - Ichiro Suzuki (cause I use last names) scored on a fielding error by Blake (who was batting second, I’m assuming Wedge is trying to get fired). If you thought Kobayashi would be next line, he gave up the go ahead home run to The Big Sexy in the tenth.

JJ Putz - I think he threw one strike the entire inning and that was a hanging splitter to The Big FraGu. Maybe he’s hiding some lingering soreness from his injury? Just speculating.

Kerry Wood - I’m by no means a Wood apologist, but HBP, Soriano misplays a ball, infield single, walk, Braun hits a triple, it wasn’t really Wood’s fault. Just bad circumstances.

Eric Gagne - Walk, strikeout, then a bullet double play. Just good circumstances.

Carlos Marmol - I’m pretty sure he would’ve just struckout the side in his third inning of work. BTW, Marmol has 19 innings of work through May 1st. This will probably kill Marmol for next year, but Piniella doesn’t seem to care.

Brian Shouse - Second win this season by Shouse where he only needed one pitch. Get on board!