Holy waiver wire! In a season full of devastating losses for the Boston Red Sox, Thursday’s 14-13 extra inning defeat ranks up there as 2012’s most devastatingest. After Alfredo Aceves blew the lead, giving up 5 ER on 6 hits including 2 home runs, the Sox star “slugger” Adrian Gonzalez struck out with a man on base to end the game. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Alex Cobb threw a 4-hit, 2-walk shutout with 8 Ks vs. the A’s.  Cy Cobb?  Nah, probably not.  Last night though, pretty.  Let’s look it how The Tampa Bay Peach got where he is.  Earlier this year, The Tampa Bay Peach hit that sweet spot, deciduously ready and he dropped to the ground, rolled about sixteen feet into the River Styx as “Come Sail Away” was playing in the background.   Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First Stanton, now Joey Votto.  I got two good knees.  Take my knees.  Please!  I take my knees everywhere and they always find their way home.  I will attempt to put into words how distraught I was over losing Votto, but Autocorrect tried to change put into pout, so even it knows this isn’t going to be easy.   Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have a small leather-bound notepad on me at all times, always there for the moments of divine inspiration to be written, recorded, and later used as material for my posts here at Razzball. I can never quite remember when or why I wrote each tidbit, though I’m pretty sure about the steps I followed to get ink on the paper. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Four full days without fantasy baseball!? I know, it was brutal. How are we possibly supposed to keep ourselves occupied when we’re not refreshing our team pages every two minutes? In all seriouslyness, there are plenty of alternatives to constantly monitoring your team, for example: speak to a loved one, watch the All-Star Game (yaaaawn), go outside, play real baseball (have a catch with the old man?), Google cat videos, or if you dare not venture too far out of your comfort zone, perhaps you can start to prepare for your fantasy football draft? Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Vicente Padilla had this to say recently to Telemundo about Mark Teixeira, “He should play a women’s sport.  When he hits a home run, he can take off his jersey and slide on his knees around the bases… Then, while he’s on his knees, well, let’s just say in my home country, we’d make him a bucket… And, if he wants to cry about me pitching him inside, he can cry into a sanitary napkin.   Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?