Just finished my first draft if you’re reading this as I type it, and other than one shirtless man in yellow sweatpants standing behind me in this internet cafe, I don’t think anyone’s reading this as I type it.  Unless, of course, there’s micronauts living inside my brain watching as my inner monologue is sending info to my fingers.  Gadzooks, I got micronauts in my brain!  I wonder if these micronauts made me draft Eric Thames.  I need to delve deeper into this subject.  Maybe I will in my pastel journal that is covered in Giancarlo’s picture from ESPN’s nude magazine.  So, I took on the monsters of the industry in an NL Only league that was hosted by Scott White of CBS and I came away with a team that is more imbalanced than Amanda Bynes.  This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat.  (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues.  Please be a commissioner, we need leagues, thank you, and Oxford comma.)  Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Shortstop is top heavy, and you don’t want to leave your drafts, especially OPS-style, without one of the top six.  Can I call them the Secret Six?  Like the DC Comic?  (Quick tangent, if you liked the Suicide Squad (movie or comic) and want an even better tale of misfit villains, then pick up Secret Six.  It’s got Bane, Deadshot, great stories, and is just plain awesome.  One of my favs of all time…) Anyhoo, so do you know what separates these six? They are the only guys I have predicted for an OPS over .800.  Shortstop sure isn’t second base this season; who could believe all the power at the keystone?

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Here we are, the third of four posts about the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft. Previously, I posted recaps of rounds 1-6 and rounds 7-12. This post is for rounds 13-18. The final post will be for rounds 19-23. Complicated stuff, I know. But try to keep up.

In case you have yet to see my previous posts, here is a quick recap of the league rules for this mock:

This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1).

As I have done with the other posts, I’ll post the results below by round and will offer a few of my thoughts for each round…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.

Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ayo whaddup, it’s ya boy Grey Albright aka the Fantasy Master Lothario aka White Chocolate aka The Ladder You Use To Reach New Heights aka The God Particle aka Trump’s Supreme Court Nominee Judge Reinhold aka Paid Overtime aka Close Parking Spot When You’re In A Rush aka Al Swearengen’s Swearing Dictionary aka Teacher, We Don’t Need No Education aka The Weird Guy That Latches Onto The Main Character In Oscar Films I Think His Name Is Paul Dano aka The Butcher, The Baker and The Candlestick Maker aka The Stinging On Your Pinkie Toe When You Clip Too Close aka Paul Anka aka Forget How To Spell My Name And Just Get Me My Coffee!  I just spent thirty minutes looking up Mindy Cohn and whether or not she’s a lesbian.  Ah, the offseason.  You are a soothing mistress that touches my naughty bits with idle hands.  She’s apparently not a lesbian, but a confirmed friend of the gays, and she wanted to lose weight in the 80’s, but the producers asked her to avoid it for the character of Natalie.  They finally agreed to let her wear baggy clothes.  No comment, except the “no comment” comment has the weight of a thousand eye rolls.  A quick preamble about the 2017 fantasy baseball rookie series that is coming from me over the next few weeks.  Rookies could get a post if they meet MLB eligibility requirements, less than 130 ABs or 50 IP.  That means no Greg Bird, no Orlando Arcia, no Alex Bregman, and finally no Joey Gallo.  In 2012, the first player I highlighted was Mike Trout.  That wasn’t an accident.  I said in the Mike Trout post, “He’s ranked number one for me. Numero uno. The Big Mahoff.  He’s the big Statue of Liberty in New York, not that girly one in Paris!”  Since then, I’ve attempted to make the first rookie post about a prospect that will be the top rookie for fantasy the following year.  Last year, that honor went to Corey Seager.  Yes, it’s an honor, don’t be so condescending.  This year the top fantasy prospect isn’t no ordinary man, this is the prospect I be seeing in my sleep.  Yoan Moncada will be your number one 2017 fantasy baseball rookie.  Will Moncada be named to the All-Century Team in 85 years or edged out by a robot with grabby hands named the Hitter-Tron that my great-great-nephew will sue due to trademark infringement only to find out it’s the same Hitter-Tron that once graced this little fantasy baseball blog called Razzball?  Can Moncada be a top five 3rd basemen in 2017?  So many questions and so little time to look up Mindy Cohn info!  Anyway, what can we expect of Yoan Moncada for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s hard to believe it’s almost over, but here we are, the final Friday of the regular season. Some DFS will continue through the MLB playoffs, but that shizz is only for the hardcore degens. You can play a couple bucks in that mess if you want, but I’m all set with 300 similar lineups because there’s four teams to chose from. Friday is typically the biggest night of the week for MLB DFS, it’s when the biggest contests typically run, and this is the last of it, especially with NFL stealing all the Sunday love. So, if you’re going to make a big play, this is your last shot. Hopefully you’ve done well for yourself this season and have a little disposable bankroll to toss out there. If you’re not down for taking a shot at a $100 buy-in tournament, then by all means, join our newly created Razzball League. Taking advantage of DraftKing’s new “Leagues” feature I created this as a place for all us Razzball DFSers to hangout, create contests and play against one another. Anyone can create a contest and there it will appear for all to join. You can create a H2H or a 10 man league, whatever you like, for whatever buy-in you’re comfortable with (even free!). I created a contest for tonight, so hop on in, the more the merrier! This league will continue posting contests through the NFL season as well, so if you’re into that sort of thing, I’ve got you covered. Hope you’ve had a great year and it’s been a pleasure writing for you all season long. Take care, but first, let’s get into some picks for tonight’s slate:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday October 3rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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God really doesn’t want us to have nice things as prospectors, so he’s blessed us with his other begotten son, Tim Tebow! That’s right it’s a Tim Tebow-centric pod today, as we open up this week’s show discussing his immaculate connection with a batting practice fastball in instructional ball. Michael Halpern and I have a much longer discussion of The Tebow’s baseball prospects, then either of us ever hoped to have. The conclusion: I think we may have a superstar brewing in the NL East……and his name is Kevin Maitan. (See what I did there?) We talk about the top international signing, since the last top international signing, and where we’ll be ranking him come February. We then run wild with the theme of this week’s show, the Top 10 Prospect Disappointments of 2016. So we spend most of the hour dumping on players we expected to have big seasons. It’s just the level of negativity I thrive in. Hold on tight y’all it’s the latest episode of the Razzball Prospect Podcast.

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Stephen Strasburg‘s MRI revealed a flexor strain, which is about the best news they could’ve hoped for.  It’s also likely not-true news.  Teams say all kinds of things; the truth is one of them, but it’s not always said.  I’ll tell you the truth, I have no idea if the Nats are telling the truth.  Gotta take their word for it, which means he’s droppable in redraft leagues, but he doesn’t need serious surgery so should be fine for 2017 and keepers.  That’s until next year when his inverted W stands once again for wince.  By the way, why is the inverted W not just called an M?  Can anyone please answer me this?  It hurts my brain.  I’m gonna take a nap.  *intern blows airhorn*  I’m up, I’m up, let’s do the post.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled Grey post for my shenanigans.  Hi all, I’m Razzball’s resident Troy McClure.  You might remember me from such times as when I used to write more than just our DFS content.  Yes I do, in fact, still write on here and yes I just, in fact, pimped some of our writings.  *Slides on shades* deal with it and if you don’t like it, take it up with Grey who told me he had a bout of food poisoning.  As I’ve reminded him more than once, just because Ted eats out of the trash can doesn’t mean he has to, too.  I won’t mention what he said about Cougs’ cooking and it’s comparison there of with regards to said trash can.  I don’t rat on my friends, I’m just that kind of guy.  But now that we’ve been cordially reacquainted with the writer that is moi, let’s get on to Jonathan Villar.  Went 3/5 and had a delicious slam (13) and legs (52).  Was sexting with JFOH the other day about Villar since I owned him everywhere this year including my keeper and am looking to 2017 with him.  Thankfully, Virtual Reality isn’t really available on smartphones just yet.  Can only imagine what that eggplant emoji would do…anyhoo, the thoughts on Jonathan overflowed.  On the one hand, the BABIP (.396) has to come down given his K rate (26.2%), but on the other, he does the right thing by taking plenty of walks (11.3%), hitting the ball on the ground (55.8% GB rate), and is 8th in the MLB in pitches per plate appearance.  All and all he’ll be drafted too high in 2017, but still looks good for .270, 10 HRs, and 40 steals.  Or as Grey likes to call him, the Delino DeShields that wasn’t.  Ow, I just felt how cold that was and I was just on the delivery end of it!  Anyways, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball…(<— yes, I did copy and paste it; don’t mess with the recipe, fool!).

Football has arrived! Our Rankings (rated highly and in the top-20 percentile of all experts the past two years) for Week 1 can be found here!

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The post could’ve been about Paulo Orlando; but it’s not, so Royals fans need not apply.  Well, they can, I don’t discriminate, I regulate every shade of OPS.  Anyway this post is about Orlando Arcia, and you should go add him if you need SS or MI help the rest of the season; let’s get that out of the way first.  We’ll dive into him (wait and see, it’s a neat trick) here in a minute but just thinking about Orlando makes me wonder why Orlando, FLA doesn’t have an MLB team.  True enough, Tampa is nearby (an hour and ten if you’re not driving with Grandpa) and they don’t draw well; the last time I was at a Rays game we spent most of our time playing pool in the cigar lounge, which was decent enough for a cigar bar in a terrible baseball stadium.

Please, blog, may I have some more?