Fantasy Baseball Advice

The walks weren’t really an issue when Francisco Liriano was striking out twenty-seven guys a game.  He walked to the mound and you knew you were getting 10 Ks.  Maybe nothing else.  But you got ten Ks.  Even if he faced only nine batters.  The scorer would give him an extra one just because he was Francisco Liriano.  His numbers since Frank Jobe surgery are disturbing.  Disturbing like one of those Discovery Channel shows where they show plastic surgery gone wrong.  Liriano’s throwing his slider less (his old strikeout pitch) and chucking up salamis, pitch after pitch.  Could he be laying off the slider because of the surgery?  My guess is yes.  *pointing my index finger at you*  That is my guess.  He looked like he turned a corner when we hit May and K’d nine Tigers.  Could it be the old Liriano, you pondered while nestled in your woobie.  Alas, it was not.  The old Liriano’s in a medical waste bin outside Dr. James Andrews’s office.  Liriano’s now consistently showing himself to be a 7 to 8 K/9 pitcher instead of the 10+ he was prior to surgery.   He’s at 6.04 ERA on the year, but I think he should get that down to a 4.25 by the end of the year.  But it’s a far cry from the 2.16 of 2006.  A far cry, friend.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mark Reynolds – 4-for-9, 2 HRs, 5 steals.  Get on the mini-donkey-donkey… Could he become the first player to 10/10 on the season?  Do you really care if he bats .240?  Is Mark Reynolds not King-Sire of our land and everyone else is simply called, Not Mark Reynolds?  Where were you when Mark Reynolds was suckling from his mother’s teat?  Reynolds’s straw reaches across the room to drink your milkshake.  He drinks it up!  He drinks your milkshake!  Did you think your song and dance and superstition would help you when Mark Reynolds wasn’t on your fantasy team?  He’s smarter than you!  Chris Davis is a false prophet!  Aramis Ramirez is a false prophet!  Reynolds is a revelation!  Reynolds is King-Sire of this land and he calls it Mini-Donkeyville.  Bow down.

Joey Votto – Reds will release his tests on Thursday.  Hopefully, it’s not a press conference.  Press conferences are never a good sign.

Edinson Volquez – Will miss a start because he’s suffering from lower back spasms.  He should totally sit in one of those massage chairs at Brookstone.  They are so comfy.

Grady Sizemore – Supposedly he’s battling a sore elbow.  Indians player does poorly (V-Mart ‘08), they blame the elbow.  What’s in the water in Cleveland?  Actually, don’t answer that.

Justin Upton – 2 HRs, one steal.  He hits moonshots.  Moon.  Shots.  He’s one of my regrets this year.  I pegged him as a sleeper.  Talked him up.  And here I am with Fred Freakin’ Lewis.  Damn you, Fred!  You lied to me!

Nelson Cruz – HR yesterday.  Doode’s super streaky.  You need to just ride the waves.  Sometimes they’re high.  Sometimes they’re low.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  Get on the Wandwagon!

Chris Sampson – Got another save.  Honestly, I have no idea if LaTory Hawkins will be back tomorrow or never.  With closers, react now, ask questions later.  Pick up Sampson for desperation saves.

Aaron Harang – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks.  Looks like the ugly 2008 that’s in his rearview mirror is not closer than it appears.

Scott Kazmir – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  The A’s’s offense is terrible and they’re worse against lefties, batting .198 on the season.  Further, the Rays bullpen stepped in and only gave up one hit in the last 4 and two-thirds of the game.  I’m benching Spaz until further notice.  In 10 team leagues, I could see dropping him.

Yovani Gallardo – 5 IP, 6 ER.  After having his last start shortened because of rain, he looked rusty.  Rain will do that.

Jorge De La Rosa – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  ¡Naranjas en la cabeza!  That great control George of the Rose showed was gone and so was all his promise.

Matt Harrison – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Apparently it was a bad night to be a crappy pitcher.

Javier Vazquez – 5 IP, 0 ER.  Hey, Bobby Cox has been reading Razzball!  He dropped a preemptive strike on Javy’s One Bad Inning Syndrome™ by removing him in the fifth after 71 pitches.

Omar Infante – Broken hand that coincided with Kelly Johnson’s hot streak.  Thinking he might’ve Tonya Hardy’d him.  Pure speculation!

Chris Jakubauskas – 6 IP, 0 ER.  He’s not a worth a pickup outside a 20 team league that only uses Mariners.  BTW, you think he ever misspells his own last name?

Ervin Santana – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  Much better start obviously and a good opportunity for you to trade him away.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – HR yesterday.  You look at his season numbers and you think blech, but he’s been good of late.  If you need a corner, he’s worth a shot.

Paul Konerko – Two games, two homers.  Another corner guy that is currently hot.

Gil Meche – 6 IP, 2 ER.  As I mentioned yesterday in my pitchers who should be better thingamajiggywitit, I’m suddenly a fan of Meche.  If he’s on waivers, you pick him up.

Philip Hughes – 5 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks vs. the Orioles.  Last start was 5 IP and 3 ER too.  Start before that, he gave up eight earned in one and two-thirds to the Orioles.  Oh, and Wang’s up on Friday.  Confused yet?  Yeah, me too.

Nolan Reimold – HR yesterday off Mo Rivera.  Now we’re cooking with gas.  If Reimold gets hot, you might be able to ride him for a week or two then sell him high.

Wilkin Ramirez – HR yesterday as he filled in for Clete Thomas against a lefty.  I know I mentioned this before, but this is really comical to me (which is to say boring and not actually comical), but Leyland hit Wilkin third because that’s where the guy he was replacing was hitting who was only hitting third because he was replacing the three hole hitter.  So can anyone manage the Tigers now that we have a set lineup card?  Did Leyland misplace his blank lineup cards and he’s Xerox’ing?  Seriously, this is mind boggling.

Brad Ziegler – Got the save yesterday.  I think this was because Bailey threw 44 pitches the day before.  But it shows us that Ziegler isn’t completely out of the picture.

David Ortiz – Someone located their stash of HGH.  Trade. Him. Now.

Chris Carpenter – 5 IP, 0 ER.  Exactly what you should hope for every time out.  Pray they don’t try and throw him more than 100 pitches for at least two months.

Daniel Murphy – Was assigned the Mets 1st baseman job vs. righties as he makes his first start there. Trial by fire, you say! I say, who cares?  This does nothing for his value.  Sheffield should see more time too.  Doesn’t really get me that excited about him either.

Jose Reyes – Aggravated his calf.  PETA will be paying him a visit.

So this is a fun story for you.  When I was a kid, I played 2nd base.  Was one of those pesky slap hitters that annoyed the pitchers.  I led the way for Orlando Hudson.  Call me Orlando Oldson.  At the age of twelve, I never struckout once.  All season.  That’s how Oldson did.  Then when I turned thirteen, I sucked.  I couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn.  If they didn’t have to play every kid, I would’ve never seen any PT.  At one point, I had a friend promise to throw the ball right down the middle just so I could get one hit for the year.  And that was what I finished with.  One hit.  So wha’ happened?  Where did Oldson disappear to?  Well, going into that year, I discovered girls.  And all of their fleshy parts.  But I also needed glasses.  Who was I?  Chris Sabo?  Chris Sabo got laid once.  And he paid for it.  So I took the easy way out and never wore my glasses.  My baseball career paid for it big time.  But I touched a boob!  This brings me to Brian McCann.  He’s supposed to be returning.  Stat, doc.  You know what catchers need?  Rest.  You know what McCann’s had a lot of?  Mmm-hmm.  See where I’m going with this?  Of course you do.  You gots smarts!  So McCann had a terrible first month of April.  Tizz-errible.  Well, he couldn’t see like Oldson and his luck (BABIP) was in the shizzer too.  Now as long as he’s not embarrassed to wear glasses around Frenchy, he should be fine.  So potatoes to chips, he’s still a guy that can hit 20 HRs and bat .290.  Buy, snitches!  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy and sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Josh Whitesell – Starting the Buys with a -Sell?  Oh, Grey! Lots of Ks in the minors for Whitesell, but also a solid OBP.  Did someone say Dunn?  No?  I thought I heard that.  No?  Good, because that would be oversellling -Sell.

Chris Coghlan – I love the ‘lins!  I really do.  They have no problem promoting anyone.  So Coghlan can play at the hot corner, 2nd base and the outfield.  My guess is he’ll primarily see time at 3rd base so they can bench the guy who’s playing there now that is actually a pinch runner.  He could spell Maybin and Uggla on occasion.  Coghlan, besides having the weirdest name to spell outside of Buehrle, can steal bases and has a bit of power.  Think 15 HRs, 25 steals.  The steals could come easier at first.  He’s a must pursue in NL-Only.  But because his position is shallow, I’d immediately look at him in deep mixed leagues.

Juan Pierre – SAGNOF!

Michael Bourn – See 1/18th of an inch above.

Alexei Ramirez – Now you can get him for even cheaper as his owners begin to panic at The (Jayson) Nix Experiment™.  I still believe he’ll come around.

Elvis Andrus – Has been batting 2nd recently.  That’s a boon to his value.  (A boon is a positive, but Andrus is in the Buy section so context clues should help you there.)

Chris Ray – He will eventually lead the Orioles in saves.  Sure, that may only be 12 saves…

Andrew Bailey – The A’s are saying he’s going to be looked at for the closer role.  Honestly, you don’t even need to know if he’s any good to pick him up if he could be the closer, but he is good.

Mark Melancon – Mo’s Better Meaty Meat Shoulder is hurting.  Melancon could see some saves short term if Mariano’s hurting. (UPDATE:  In a bizarre move, the Yanks optioned Melancon to the minors right after this was posted.  Guess they have Mo faith than I.)

John Grabow - Capps has a minor elbow issue.  Are pitchers ever okay when they have anything wrong with their elbow?  I see a trip to the Disgraceful List in Capps’s future.

Scott Hairston – Hitting 3rd for the Padres.  Faint endorsement for Hairston, major indictment of the Padres.

Jesus Guzman – With Aurilla and Ishikawa’s careers in the toilet and nobody flushing, how long until Guzman floats to the surface?

Jimmy Rollins – Sitting on a 13/1/7/.213/1 line.  Wheels have come off Rollins, fo’ diggity.  Unless he has a mysterious ankle injury that he’s not talking about, he’ll get better.

SELL

Jair Jurrjens – His K/BB rate is terrible, and his ERA will regress. But ya’ll didn’t think Jar-Jar would give you a 2.00 ERA all year anyway, did you?  Don’t trade him for a bag of boiled peanuts, but I’d explore options.  As they don’t say, the best is not yet to come.

Scott Kazmir – It seems like he’s headed for Junksville.  In my top 20 starter for 2009 post, I put Kazmir in a tier of pitchers I would never own.  Unfortunately, I co-drafted with Rudy and have Kazmir on one team.  *shakes fist at sky*  Rudy!

Jeff Weaver – Make sure when looking at trade offers you’re not thrown by the ol’ Je. Weaver trick.

Omar Infante – Hey, he’s playing! But, hey, he sucks.  Oh.

Scott Richmond – If you can pawn him off for any piece whatsoever, do it.  He’s really not this good.  In fact, there’s a good chance he’s going to be awful.

Chad Tracy – With the recall of Josh Whitesell, Tracy’s time is getting pinched.

Chris Dickerson – Losing time to Laynce Nix.  Wow, this was a big week in the Nix household.  BTW, what’s with the Y’s in their first names?  Layme.

Dallas Braden – Has been solid so far with a 2.50 ERA and 1.39 WHIP.  Whoa.  1.39 WHIP is smoke.  Yup, there’s a ‘too many walks’ fire burning in 3 of the last 4 starts.  A bottle of Liquid Paper may get dumped on his ERA any start now.

Manny Ramirez – A female fertility drug?  Even as he breaks our hearts, he makes us smile.  Now don’t sell him too cheaply, but I’d explore options.  Remember, by the time Manny returns, he may be in his 2nd trimester.

The Hot Stove heats up as the Cubs make room in their overcrowded outfield. Jacques Jones, reluctant underachiever of Fantasyland, was traded yesterday and, frankly, it’s two years too late. What this means for the teams involved:

Cubs:
Barring a trade for an outfielder, there might finally be room in the outfield for Matt Murton. Then again, Murton must have slept with Piniella’s wife because he was benched last season for Craig Monroe (who has since been traded, as well). Craig Monroe of a career .749 OPS. Can Murton succeed as a full-time player? He knows how to take a walk, has moderate speed and moderate power. I could see him going 20/12 with a .280 average over 500 at-bats. 20 homers being on the low end and 12 steals being on the high end. People in a NL-only league should take a late round flier on him. Of course, keep a close eye on the goings-on in Spring Training.

In other Cubs news, Omar Infante was the player taken in return for Jacques Jones. This says more about the quality of Jacques Jones’s play than about anything that could be written, but here goes…

Tigers:
Jacques Jones hit five home runs in 453 at-bats. He would be a fourth outfielder for the lowly Pirates. On the Tigers, let’s hope Jones is merely a stopgap to Cameron Maybin and not a stop sign.

In other Tiger news, Todd Jones was reupped. Luckily, it was simply a one year contract. After Joel Zumaya hurt himself carrying helado home from Pathmark, it was expected that the Tigers would try and get one more year from Jones.