A Spanish woman, dressed in black, just pedaled past my house, chanting, “Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo… Oh shoot, I ripped my stockings!” It was totally sad. Kinda like when your best buddy, let’s call him Chase Utley, gets old man knee and the Phillies replace him with Luis Castillo. Luis Castillo would be good for my pre-All-Star Game contest where him and Juan Pierre have a home run contest and the gopher ball-happy Rodrigo Lopez is pitching. Just think of how few back’s we’d have to hear from Berman. There’s nothing as far as fantasy goes with Castillo. Even if objects appear closer in the side view, you still can’t see Castillo’s best days. To give you an idea of how terrible he is, the Mets released him. Long story short, he’s useless in any league where there are other starting 2Bs available. This Castillo signing does spell further doom for Utley. You really can’t draft him at this point. Also, my giant ostrich head has been in the sand too long with Howard. No Utley hurts him. I’m dropping him eight spots in the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings to right behind A-Rod. I would still draft him, but you can’t expect 115 RBIs or 95 runs at this point. Well, you can, but people might start to worry about you. Anyway, here’s some more news in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – Will miss 10 days or more with shoulder inflammation. Looks like Jason LaRue’s voodoo doll is finally working. This sounds like Cueto is going to miss at least a few weeks of the season. Obviously, not a great sign, but before we take Cueto to the mattresses for getting injured we should tempurpedic our concern. It’s a long season and he had a 5+ ERA last April and you still drafted him this year. He gets better in the heat, just DL him once the Reds do. Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week is bloated with guys who are most likely owned in your league. Or guys that should be owned. Though maybe not in ESPN abandoned leagues. ESPN owners, raise your hand if you’re not here. Guess they’re not here either. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Evan Longoria went 0-for-4 yesterday. He’s been kinda terrible for about three months now. Man, third base is a minefield. Now I’m not putting Longoria in the Wright Sucks Then Gets Conked On The Head box. No, he hasn’t been nearly that bad. But two separate months of an under .240 average and two months of zero steals and tw0 months of 1 steal and this sentence has nearly as many ands as, “In the saying, “Fish-and-Chips,” it’s necessary to have a hyphen between “fish” and “and,” and “and” and “chips.” I’m not ready to proclaim where Longoria should be drafted next year. I’m Grey and I make proclamations! Please, blog, may I have some more?
With Wakefield headed to the DL with a bad back (can’t he throw his knuckleball while sitting down?), Clay Buchholz will step into the Sawx rotation. In 99 innings of Triple-A, Buchholz had a line of 2.36/.98 and 89 Ks. His walks were down this year in the minors, though he did walk 3 in his only major league start this year vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
On July 16th, Padres GM, Kevin Towers, said there’s a 50-50 chance that Jake Peavy would pitch again. Turned out there was a 50-50 chance that he was lying. On July 16th, Peavy’s boot came off and his ankle is healthy. Peavy now says he’ll pitch again this year. Oh, okay. Peavy is the Padres ace, i.e., they’re not going to mess with bringing him back to make sure they win 60 games instead of 58. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Much like a newly married female, the Blue Jays have dropped BJ from the active roster. Imagine this scenario. You walk into your fro-yo distribution job, say what’s up to your TCBY manager who’s twelve years younger than you, open up the jimmies container and proceed to flip them, one at a time, at your manager’s head. Timothy asks you politely to stop. You politely give him a wedgie. Naturally, he fires you. Then you collect your salary for the next year. Man, the life of a terrible baseball player may be better than the life of a marginal one who has to play every day. B.J. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions. Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump, I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump. I’m out of order? Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was alerted yesterday in our fantasy baseball forums that Ozzie Guillen will be sitting Alexei Ramirez for Jayson Nix. And it may not be for just one game. This makes perfect sense. A guy who has never played a game at shortstop in the major leagues. A guy who got the Rockies starting job at 2nd last year and hit .125 and 2 extra-base hits in 56 ABs. A guy who couldn’t hold off Omar Quintanilla for the utility man role in Colorado. A guy whose last name says it all. Please, blog, may I have some more?
With Travis Hafner likely on the DL for a while with a pronked shoulder, the Indians called up Matt LaPorta – their prize from sending Sabathia to Bratwurstland. He’s been tearing it up at AAA with a .333 AVG and 5 HRs in 75 AB. So could we be looking at Hafner Jr? Maybe, but it’s more likely we’re looking at a less K-friendly Jack Cust. He only has about a full season above AA and CHONE and ZIPS projections have him hitting .240-.250 with solid power (think 25 HRs if he got 500 ABs). Currently, he has OF eligibility in ESPN and 1B/OF in Yahoo. If you’ve got an extra hitting slot in a 12 team or greater league, he’s worth taking a flier on in case he starts off hot. Just don’t expect him to be el capitán – be happy if he provides marinero stats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Doumit went from sleeper to 2nd tier fantasy catcher last year after he managed to take a year off from his Glass Joe impersonation that dogged him throughout 2006-2007 (2006 = 89 games missed w/ hamstring issues, 2007 = 26 games missed with wrist, and then 20 games with ankle). Actually, he missed 27 games last year with thumb (20), concussion ( 5 ) and the flu (two separate days), so even when he’s healthy he’s “merely a flesh wound” away from the DL. He’s now out for 8-10 weeks. Punt! (Or stash him on your DL if it’s empty.) I’d look at Baker, Salty, Shoppach or Hundley, all those names depend on league depth, of course. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Stewart – Has played 5 games in OF (3 started). He’s 5 games played away from OF eligibility in Yahoo! Please, blog, may I have some more?