I’ve given much love to Desmond Jennings already on this blog, and since what I’ve previously wrote still works, indulge me for a second, “Desmond’s time is nigh, a word that only sounds negative. DJ is currently on the ones and twos for top ranked MLB prospects. He’s ranked number one for me. Numero uno. The Big Mahoff. Dora the Explorer, Boots the Monkey and Swiper the Fox all wrapped in one! (What, not street enough?) If he reaches the top end of his ceiling, you’re looking at Carl Crawford. More likely, you’re going to open up this Crackerjack and get half a Carl Crawford. Say a Carlford. You ain’t got the Craw yet, kid!” And that’s me quoting me! In 2010, he swiped 37 bags with a .362 OBP in Triple-A. In only 57 games in Triple-A this year, 9 homers and 10 steals. Somebody gag Sam Fuld, put a gorilla suit on him and send him to Africa. We want Jennings. *fast-herpes-medication-side-effect-voice* Fuld should be benched any day now for Jennings’ call-up. Or in the next week or so. It’s worth the flyer for upside. If conditions persist for longer than 48 hours, call your doctor. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Dee Gordon – Gordon is so fast he just ran into Kitchen Stadium, spit on Michael Symon’s head, buffed it and ran out without Alton even noticing. I see no reason why you shouldn’t own Gordon everywhere for a few weeks to see if he not only sticks but steals some bases. For more on my Dee Gordon fantasy, see that link. I wrote it while picking out all the strawberry Dippin’ Dots from the Banana Split mix. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Joyce a sell? Now I will bite my lip and try not to sob. Quiet, gentle sobs that Joyce used to assuage. Joyce and I had something together that no one else can understand. Well, maybe some of you that also own him can understand it, but the rest of you never will. We shared moments that can only be explained by watching an Ecuadorian couple that has been married for 60 years sharing a mango on a park bench. That’s what we had! Picture, if you will, a giant mustache wrapped like a shawl around Matt Joyce’s shoulders. We were that inseparable for about six weeks. I own Joyce all over the place and he’s about the only hitter I have playing over his head. Alas, playing over his head is the problem with Joyce, to DeWitt. His BABIP is absurd; he’s a .270 hitter currently hitting .360. He’s sandwiched between Votto and Miguel Cabrera on ESPN’s Player Rater. That’s crazy. I know I told everyone to grab him back in April, but he’s not this good. Humble brag! He’s never had more than 5 hits vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Holliday heads to the DL with a quadriceps injury. C’mon, Mantle played with no knees for ten years! Have a scotch and get in the lineup! John Jay should see time while Holliday recoups. Worth owning in 12 team leagues and could make a decent sub while Holliday’s out. That’s not to say he could make a decent hoagie. Different things. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kyle McClellan – Out for at least a couple of weeks with a hip flexor strain. Or it’s hip to be strained, if you’re a kid of the 80′s. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Marlins outfield is only big enough to handle one prospect as Logan Morrison is hitting the DL on the same night that Mike Stanton finally hits a home run. Morrison projected to be the anti-Stanton with solid AVG and OBP but limited power (10-15 HRs). Yet after 4 early HRs, he was showing the 4-category prowess that makes owners feel all a-tingle. But then Logan goes and hurts his left foot and will miss 2-4 weeks. Guess Daniel Day-Lewis is now the favorite for the title role in The Logan Morrison Story. I’d stash vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Maybe the fuel you need to burn the desire deep in your belly to be a better ballplayer comes from a fresh start. Maybe you need people to tell you you can’t do something before you can do something. Maybe this is how Morgan Freeman really talks and not just in voiceovers. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kendrys Morales was so busy running to the DMV to change his name that he will not be ready for the start of the season. This will give Mark Trumbo an opportunity to get some April at-bats. You say ho-hum, I say ho-hmm. Did you see what I did there? DID YOU!? Yeah, I’m not sure either. Trumbo hit 36 home runs in 139 Triple-A games last year. Sure, that was in the PCL which is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat. Still, 36 homers is nothing to sneeze at unless you’re allergic to power, upside rookies. In most mixed leagues, Trumbo’s not worth stashing. But in deeper leagues, I’d absolutely take a flyer that Kendrys has a few more setbacks. I mean, it’s already taken him way too long to recover. Who knows? Maybe Trumbo will Pipp Kendry and mash his way into a regular job. BTW, with the switch from Kendry to Kendrys, it seems like the “s” that Alexis Rios dropped when he switched to Alex has finally appeared. Be interesting to see where the “i” shows up at. I’m guessing there’s going to be a new San Fran outfielder, Cody Rossi. Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:
Scott Downs – Broke his toe. Downs goes… Um, Downs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
After the top 20 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball, guess what we have here? The top something-something’s? Cute, random italicized voice. We have the top 40 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball. That’s right, Wonderful just gave birth to Awesome. Wanna hear something even awesomier? I’m going to turn this to 60 then 80. Hopefully I don’t blow my amp. The hardest part about writing these 2011 fantasy baseball rankings posts is writing this opening. Trying to make the clerical stuff sound less clerical, ya know? Actually, when I point it out, it gets more clerical. As with other rankings, where I see tiers beginning and ending are mentioned along with my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:
21. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jake Westbrook had everything going against him. No schools in his area had an athletic program. His mother was strung out on drugs. His father was absent from his life. Then he met Sandra Bullock. Wait, those aren’t my notes, that’s the back cover of The Blind Side DVD. Yesterday, Westbrook threw 8 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. Okay, in the broader sense, Westbrook is the dog’s breakfast, but you mix that with one certain pitching coach and, well… For his next trick, Dave Duncan will turn a cucumber into a pickle…mobile! I don’t think it lasts for Westbrook, but he gets the Pirates next. It’s September, you shouldn’t need more. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tim Stauffer – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks. You don’t get them wet, you don’t expose them to light, you don’t feed them after midnight and you never start a hodgepadre away from Petco. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clarence Clemons Sabathia was the big man for the Yankees, one-hitting the A’s over 8 innings for his 19th win. Over 17 starts since June 1, CC has gone 14-2 and has thrown 7+ innings with less than 3 ERs in 15 of those games. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I already put my feet on your coffee table while typing up my notes on the September call-up hitters and September call-up pitchers. Oh, and I didn’t use a coaster for my forty of Colt 45. Natch! Not too many surprises in the call-ups. The peasant Royals are dragging their feet on Mike Moustakas, not calling him up. What else is new? Carlos Carrasco was called up and got the start. Go Indians, it’s your birthday. I’ll get to Carrasco later on. I’ll fill in a Mad Libs blurb for Wilson Ramos’ call up. I’ll even go over J.P. Please, blog, may I have some more?