Leave it up to me on a day where there’s more than enough good arms out there to make you cringe about a pitching selection. Yes, it’s true. I’m honestly suggesting CC Sabathia on this fine Sunday. You might ask yourself, ‘how did Sky find a way to make this hard on a slate featuring Arrieta, Jo-Fer, and Nola?’. And you might ask yourself, ‘why would you suggest a guy just a few fake internet ducats off from The Dark Knight, Cole, and Gausman?’. You might also ask yourself, ‘why do I feel like Sky is setting me up for a Talking Heads reference in a piece where he references Black Sabbath?’. Cuz it’s the same as it ever was, friends. Really, I’m not suggesting huge upside here nor am I suggesting CC is the best play on the board. So what am I suggesting? Well, for starters the Orioles have been low key bad against lefties so far this year, sitting 25th in wRC+ against southpaws for the year. That in and of itself gives a decent backdrop for me to be intrigued. When you also factor in CC’s pitch selection change this year to make up for the lack of giddyup in his FB – swapping mostly over to the cutter – it makes his gains so far this year not seem too much like a mirage. So in tourneys, look to have yourself some CC shares and pair him with your pick of this pitching litter on a day where he’ll go microscopically owned. But enough about this, let’s talk about that. Here’s my Electric Funeral hot taeks for this Sunday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 6th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Archie Bradley pitched six innings of four hit ball Friday night against the Cubs, allowing one run, walking three and striking out ten. Archie has been a highly touted prospect for a while, but hasn’t really been able to put it all together, until now, dot dot dot, question mark? But the real question mark here–Betty or Veronica? I was always a Ronnie guy, because I am a masochist and I prefer a woman who hates my guts. Regardless, after struggling in spot starts in April and early May (2 GS, 10.1 IP, 14 hits, 9 ER, 7 BB, 6 K), and holding a plus-6 ERA in 10 career major league starts, Archie has returned to the bigs in a big way. In two starts since being recalled, Bradley holds a 2.70 ERA and 0.90 WHIP in 13.1 innings, with a 19/4 K/BB ratio that will make your fantasy team real happy happy. Slightly more impressive when you consider yesterday’s start was on the road against a fearsome Chicago line up. I was gonna stream him, but then I was like, “nah.” That was a mistake. I won’t doubt you again, Archie. Bradley was rocking a 1.99 ERA, 1.08 WHIP with 47 strikeouts in 7 starts at AAA Reno this season, so it’s clear he’s ready for the next level. I would grab Bradley in all leagues where he’s available. Grey told you to BUY and he gets a cushy match up with the Rays next week. Don’t be a Jughead, grab Archie!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sorry for the stock jargon. Everyone who’s reading this is more than likely a DFS fan or someone who has some interest in it which means you probably have something outside of DFS that tickles some part of your brain that gets you into it. For me, besides being a fantasy baseball fan/player/’expert’/etc, I find the world of stocks to be an amazing measure of human psychology. Even the most intelligent people in the world never get into the market because, and I say this from experience, it’s tough man. And if you’re a DFS player who loves tourneys, I can guess that element of challenge of finding that perfect play or sneaky stack is what leads you to me. So with that, let me collage my mental stock and DFS droppings on to this here bloggy-site and say that Francisco Liriano is that falling knife I’m gonna try and catch tonight. On a slate full of good, expensive arms, Liriano is the 17th most expensive pitcher at $7,900. He’s just $500 more than Ricky Nolasco…yes, it’s been that bad for him of late. The last time Liriano was relevant for winning in DFS, it was May 6th. You had more hair back then and your wife thought this daily fantasy nonsense would pass over. Now you’re sitting in the red, all your possessions have been repo’d including your wife by that jerk Brad from high school and you’re sitting around in a wife beater with no underwear, smeared in peanut butter just trying to get your dog to…wow, that went a little too far. I swear it’s about my friend and not me! All this to say, I’m ready to give Francisco a chance on a night where he’ll more than likely get overlooked. The upside for 30 is still there, let’s see the chart start pointing up for him tonight. But enough of that, let’s move on to this: here’s my Warren Buffett hot taeks for this Friday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 6th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You flip through your cassette singles.  You pop in James Ingram’s Just Once cassette single, but decide that’s better to play right after taking the love of your life for an abortion.  You then pop in the In Your Eyes cassette single, but it feels too Say Anything.  You then pop in the Always & Forever single you played on the way to prom, and it…feels right.  You take your boombox and place it on your shoulder, Luther Vandross plays obnoxiously loud if Vandross could ever be obnoxious, but you decide he can’t be.  The song gets to the end and you flip it over to play the Always & Forever house remix.  Yet, this whole time, Matt Harvey‘s Buy Low Window stays shut.  You wonder why it won’t open again, and sigh.  It’s now shut because yesterday Matt Harvey went 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA down to 5.37.  Looks like the slider returned with his velocity.  Last week I said I didn’t think his problems were unfixable, yesterday he showed they weren’t.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Leave It to Beaver was on from the late 50’s to early 60’s, a time where an 83 MPH fastball may have been useful. I have never seen the show, but from what I know/Wikipedia told me is that mischief-maker “The Beaver” found several ways to get himself into trouble. Like Beaver, Weaver occasionally does good things. For example, Weaver hasn’t allowed more than 2 walks in game this season and has been finding success in his change-up, which is holding hitters to a .170 batting average and a .277 slugging. However, that seems to be his only good pitch, as the rest of his pitch repertoire is getting hit over .333 and slugged over .580. The bad news for him is that the Houston Astros have the 7th highest slugging against changeups at .435. The Astros will punish the Angels for allowing Weaver to take mound, and may we all reap the benefits. Now, lets move on to my favorite Astros and other picks for today.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 30th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Devon Travis was activated from the DL yesterday (1-for-4, 1 run).  Be interesting to see what he can do in his return from shoulder surgery.  Shoulder surgery never really stopped anyone from doing well before.  “Yes, Michael Brantley?  Ask your question.  Okay, if you’re not going to ask your question, at least put your arm down.  You can’t put down your arm?  Oh.”  The Blue Jays said that Travis could move up the order soon, and hit leadoff.  No way, Azul Jays!  You mean Jose Bautista isn’t a leadoff hitter?  That’s downright shocking.  I never would’ve guessed that.  Shiver me Timberlands, and stockpile my hatch chiles before Trump kicks New Mexico out of the union.  There’s been a lot of talk in the comments about how unenthused I am for Travis, and it’s not entirely true.  I would take a flyer on him in all leagues, but it takes hitters a while to return from shoulder surgery, so I’d tempura my expectations.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Matt Harvey (5 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 6.08) briefly held the honor of having the worst ERA of any National League starter at 6.08, which means Harvey is the only one happy with Shelby Miller this year.  It’s time we addressed the giant imaginary rabbit in the room, Harvey.  The Mets thought that Harvey’s problems were mental and considered burning all of his locker’s contents to rid him of the bad juju.  Can you put his “animosity for Terry Collins” in the locker too?  How about his “bitterness at not being the star pitcher anymore?”  Does that fit in a locker?  What about “brooding?”  Does brooding fit in a locker?  Someone needs to salve Harvey’s ego with some Jergen’s lotion because you can see his buttsoreness (totally a word!).  His velocity looked fine yesterday, but his slider is not being located with precision.   Also, check this:  1st time through the order facing Harvey:  .241/.292/.373; second time:  .301/.326/.518; third time:  .509/.563/.764.  What does that tell me?  He’s having a hard time keeping his pitches fresh the 2nd and 3rd time a hitter sees him, which goes back to the slider.  I don’t think his problems are unfixable, but he may need a trip to the Disgraceful List with a mysterious ailment to clear his head and figure out his slider.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nerds Again? Yes, this is my second consecutive week with a Nerds reference, thank you for noticing. Since my Tri-Lamb recommendation went for 28 points last Monday, I figured let’s keep it going tonight with John Lackey for a reasonable $9,400. Yes, Clayton Kershaw is at home tonight going for his 7th consecutive 10 K performance, but he’s $14,000 and he’ll be owned on most rosters so I wanted to highlight the less obvious choice. Yes, I like V2 and Rich Hill tonight as well, but Lackey loves him some Busch! Last month when he faced his former team he went 7 Ing, 11 K’s and 0 ER. Over the last 2 seasons Lackey went 11-4 with a 2.03 ERA racking up 129 K’s in 155 Ing’s, dude is lights out when he steps on the mound in St. Louis. I’m banking on Lackey being underowned tonight in both cash and tourney play, so now we’re going to try to find some budget offensive plays so we can pair him with Kershaw and cash in on tonights contests.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember tosign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Sonny Gray hit the Disgraceful List with a combination of ineffectiveness and Grey calling him a preseason schmohawk.  My schmohawks:  Schwarber, Pollock, Gray, Tulo and Sano.  If I were Sano, I’d move into the giant bubble that Tulo is apparently living in to still be healthy.  Seriously, if you were placing odds in the preseason on which one of those would hit the DL, Tulo would be 10 to 1 odds as the first one; Pollock likely 2nd since he was nursing an elbow issue in the preseason; third would be Schwarber because he was playing a position he had no business playing and bound to run into a wall; finally, Gray because I put the kavorka on my namelganger, which is a magic spell so hideous that no amount of Creoles with an unlimited supply of chickens to sacrifice could reverse that hex.  By the by, everything I know of Creole black magic I learned from Angel Heart.  Gray has a 6+ ERA, so you can DL him if you have room, but I could see just dropping him if you don’t.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Arizona Diamondbacks rookie Brandon Drury (62.0% owned; +41.5% over the past week) is this week’s most added player in ESPN leagues. If you thought that the DBacks traded all of their promising prospects to the Braves in the Shelby Miller trade earlier this offseason, well, it’s understandable. Dave Stewart might have given up his firstborn child and Curt Schilling’s World Series ring in that deal, but Drury survived the exodus to make the big league roster and platoon with incumbent Jake Lamb at third base for the snakes this season. At least, that was the initial plan. Drury impressed so much in the early going that he quickly forced himself into the everyday lineup and has done everything in his power to stay there. Since April 17th (19 games), Drury has produced 13 runs, 6 homers, 11 RBI, and a .329/.354/.671 triple slash line in 82 plate appearances. Not too shabby. To keep his hot bat in the lineup as well as get Lamb some playing time against right-handed pitching, the DBacks have moved Drury all over the diamond (2B/3B/LF/RF) this season, which should make for some nice positional versatility (though he might not get enough starts at 2B to qualify there). Those are the positives. The negatives (for fantasy purposes) are that he doesn’t have much speed (0 SBs in his last 111 games between AAA and MLB), has limited on-base skills (3 walks in 109 PA this season; 2 walks in 59 MLB PA last season), and is more of a LD/GB hitter than a fly ball one (27.3% FB% in MLB). Drury’s ability to make solid contact should keep his average respectable (.270ish range), but he’s better served as a flexible bench piece in the Brock Holt mold rather than counted on as a fantasy cornerstone.

Here are a couple of other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?