Fantasy Baseball Advice

Evan Longoria went 0-for-4 yesterday.  He’s been kinda terrible for about three months now.  Man, third base is a minefield.  Now I’m not putting Longoria in the Wright Sucks Then Gets Conked On The Head box.  No, he hasn’t been nearly that bad.  But two separate months of an under .240 average and two months of zero steals and tw0 months of 1 steal and this sentence has nearly as many ands as, “In the saying, “Fish-and-Chips,” it’s necessary to have a hyphen between “fish” and “and,” and “and” and “chips.”  I’m not ready to proclaim where Longoria should be drafted next year.  I’m Grey and I make proclamations! But Longoria isn’t exactly setting the world afire with flames shooting out of his areolas.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Scott Kazmir – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Sonavabench!  I can’t stand Rays pitchers this year.  They’re sucking the life out of me.  One day it’s Shields pitching terribly in my lineup, then it’s him pitching well on my bench. Then Kazmir follows suit.  I might need to take a sabbatical next year from the Rays pitchers.

J.P. Howell – 1 IP, 1 ER. This is the 2nd game in a row Thurston and Lovey’s son has blown.

Oliver Perez – Out for the season with surgery to his knee.  In September, I’m fully expecting the Mets to play their home games in candy stripper outfits.

Brad Penny – Wanted out of Boston and he got it.  He cited irreconcilable differences.  Sox just said he sucked.

Chad Qualls – Placed on waivers, but it’ll take a John Holmes-sized package to get him from the Diamondbacks.  If he’s shown the door, I’d expect Rauch to get the saves.  Oh, and he blew a save last night.  Yay.

Justin Upton – Back from his oblique strain.  Oh, and he went 1-for-3.  Non-sarcastic yay.

Jonathan Sanchez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks.  Has been solid since his no-hitter.  Somewhere, Buehrle realizes he should’ve renegotiated his deal with the devil.

Brian Wilson – Medders got the save yesterday (quite easily actually), but I think it was just because Medders was warming up to enter a losing game, then one of The Flying Molina Brothers put the Giants into a save situation with 2 outs in the 8th.

David Ortiz – 2 HRs yesterday.  Has 22 homers on the year while batting .227.  Who are you, Dave Kingman?

Josh Johnson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks vs. the Mets.  Is it only me or do you, loyal Razzball reader, also expect a shutout from your pitcher when they face the Mets and are upset when all you get is a s0lid start?

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Was outpitched by Pineiro.  What’s worse, I’m not surprised.  I wanna say to Oswalt, “You gonna let this punk get away with that?  What’s the matter with you?  What’s the world comin’ to?”

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4, but caught stealing again.  On the bright side, he’s at least attempting steals.  I’m farting in your general direction, Alcides Escobar.

Andre Ethier – 3-for-4, 2 HRs.  Mentioned so I don’t get hate mail from Andre Ethier’s Mom.

Jack Cust – HR yesterday.  Member two days ago how I said when he gets hot, he gets scorching?  He’s now batting near .600 for the last week.

Jose Lopez – HR yesterday.  Has 4 homers in the last week.  Cool, but I dropped him back in May and don’t regret it.

Trevor Hoffman – Placed on waivers.  These things usually don’t go through.  Keep that in mind.  But I’d expect Coffey to grab Brewers saves in September if The Hoff’s off.

Nick Johnson – Heads to the DL.  If you set your watch by Johnson’s DL trips, you were probably pretty tardy this year as it took him much longer than usual to hit the infirmary.

Brad Lidge – Before yesterday’s game, Manuel said Lidge will remain the Phillies closer.  So, of course, Madson came on for the save.  And blew it.  Give Scott Eyre the ball!  I keed.  Lidge had worked a few days in a row, so I think Lidge is still the guy… To blow saves.

Cole Hamels – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  I watched a good chunk of this game.  The Pirates had a lot of opportunities to score.  Love to sit here (and I am sitting) and tell you Hamels is gonna be just fine going forward, but I’d be lying.  He might be, but this game shouldn’t be used as an indication either way.

Matt LaPorta – 2-for-4 and a HR yesterday.  He now has at least one hit in every game since his recall.  Now Eric Wedge must think harder about ways to bench him.

Andy Pettitte – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks.  I don’t think I’ve owned a Yankee pitcher in five years.  Too many headaches with the division and now the ballpark.  Pettitte’s one of those I wouldn’t have owned (though used to when he was on the Astros).  But through it all, Pettitte has pitched well this year.  Nothing incredible (4.18 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, around 7 K/9), but solid.

Alfonso Soriano – May need knee surgery.  No word if he’ll have it sooner than later.  My guess is later, but if he does it sooner, then suddenly we have a some playing time for Jake Fox.  Yes, Soriano’s fallen far when I’m hoping for knee surgery and I own him in a league.

Milton Bradley – HR yesterday.  Before the game, he talked about how much he hates Chicago, “I’m talking about hatred, period. I’m talking about when I go to eat at a restaurant. I’ve got to listen to the waiters badmouthing me at another table, sitting in a restaurant.”  Milton needs to stop eating at Dick’s Last Resort.

David Wright was released from the hospital yesterday after tests showed that he was okay from Saturday’s beaning.  When he first went down, the Mets had some serious concerns when Wright couldn’t answer straightforward questions like, “Who’s our starting shortstop?” “Who plays 1st?”  “Who’s the shirtless guy hiding in Jerry Manual’s locker?”  Wright might be out for the season.  Probably be the best thing that could happen to his fantasy owners.  The wait for his power to return can finally end.  Though I wouldn’t drop him in one year leagues until it’s official he’s not returning, unless room on your DL is spare.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nick Johnson – Left with a hamstring injury.  He seemed to be in good spirits after the game, smiling in locker room pictures.

Nate McLouth – McLousy’s out for a few days after aggravating his hamstring injury and his fantasy owners.

Luke Scott – HR yesterday.  He credits the homer to finally feeling better from the flu.  I guess he had the dreaded 1,700 Hour Flu.

Nick Markakis – Sparkakis!  He now has 14 homers on the year.  He needs ten more to get in my good graces.  Chucking in seven steals along the way wouldn’t hurt either.  Yes, it’s a pipe dream, but it’s my pipe dream.

Erick Aybar – 3-for-6, 2 Runs, 3 RBIs and 2 steals.  Since the All-Star Break, there’s been few MI schmohawks to fill a line like EA – get in the game!

Mike Napoli – The Angels scored 17 runs, Napoli went 1-for-6 with 1 RBI.  Ticker Tease!

Torii Hunter – Returned to the lineup and went 2-for-6 with 2 RBIs, while batting sixth.  Might take him a few days to a week before he’s moved back up the order.  Then again, we’re talking about Scioscia.

Chone Figgins – 4-for-7, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs and a steal.  Who is this Angels offense?  The 1985 Cardinals?

Carlos Gonzalez – 2 HRs yesterday.  How about you give me your password and I’ll pick him up?

Chris Coghlan – 5-for-10 in the doubleheader with a HR yesterday.  Yesterday was a good day for Friday’s Buy guys.

Aaron Cook – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER. About a week ago, turf toe sidelined him.  This start makes me think he’s not completely over it.  I wouldn’t start him anywhere until we see a decent game.  Then again, most of you probably don’t start him anywhere anyway.

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Speaking of pitchers who just don’t seem right.

Hunter Pence – Homers now in back-to-back games.  Love to see him explode in the final month-plus like a Spinal Tap drummer.

Julio Borbon – 4 steals on Saturday, 2-for-3 on Sunday.  He’ll be leading off for the next week vs. righties until Cruz returns.  If you need steals, grab him now.  There’s no time for this Borbon to age.  Oofa!

Junichi Tazawa – 5 IP, 4 ER.  I told you my trepidation on Tazawa in Friday’s Buy/Sell.  And that’s me alluding to me!

Grady Sizemore – HR and steal yesterday as he went 2-for-4.  Since the All-Star Break, he has 4 homers and two steals.  I really wish the Indians would just shut him down so I have no reservations about drafting him next year.  (1 Pun Point for Grey.)

Taylor Teagarden/Kelly Shoppach – HR for each yesterday as The Catchers That Had Everyone Caca-Cuckoo In 2008 rise again.

Colby Rasmus – HR yesterday.  In his short time in the majors, Colby has shown himself to be hella streaky.  (Hella’s for the 18-35 males.)  Right now, Colby is hella hot.  If you need OF help, get’m while they’re hot.

Ryan Howard – 2 HRs yesterday.  For one of my teams, I hope he goes on one of his 10 homer month tears.  For a different team where I don’t own him, I hope he tanks.  Only Natalie Imbruglia knows how I feel.

Brad Lidge – When a manager brings a closer in for a one out save, it’s called kid gloves.

Rafael Soriano – Figured out a way to explain his recent gopher ball troubles, he says he’s dealing with shoulder problems.   I still maintain he’s going to lose save opps in the near future.

Clayton Richard – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, but 12 baserunners as he tied his owners to the WHIPping post.  But he’s a HodgePadre and shouldn’t have been started in this game anyway.  But II, The Return of But:  He threw so many walks and he gets the same team next time at Petco (Cards) that I probably won’t start him there in most leagues.

Joba Chamberlain – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners vs. the Mariners.  Potatoes to chips, I like the way the Yankees are babying him this year (skipping him and whatnot), but I like it for next year.  For this year, it’s not helping his value when he’s skipped then throws a bucket of fake puke over the movie theater balcony.

Rajai Davis – Stole his third base in four games yesterday.  How is he owned in only 17.5% of ESPN leagues?  I know 75% of ESPN leagues are abandoned, but still.  He should be owned everywhere.

Adrian Gonzalez – 4-for-5, HR yesterday.  I wonder if Adrian calls up other teams pretending to be Kevin Towers and tries to trade himself.

Randy Wolf – 7 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks.  And he hit a homer or as frequent commenter, Steve, said, “Wolfman jack!”

Josh Willingham – HR yesterday, 3 RBIs and offered all of his green M&M’s to sweeten the Nats deal for Strasburg.

Geoff Blum – Hit his ninth homer yesterday.  Here’s something to blow your mind.  Geoff Blum’s power > Vladimir Guerrero’s power.  Want more?  Geoff Blum’s power > David Wright’s power.

Right now betting on Jimmy Rollins to turn it around seems like a Horn Bet.  Unless Ben Zobrist is rolling the dice.  Rollins is too old, he’s too tired and he’s too… Wait, he’s not blind.  Though his average might make you think he could use some of Ortiz’s eyedrops.  His line on the year is 40/6/27/.225/10.  I just popped a zit onto a mirror and it spelled out, “Blech.”  Rollins’s K rate, ground balls and fly balls are about where they should be.  But, and it’s a J. Lo-sized but, his BABIP is sitting at .227.  That’s way below his career rate.  He’s been caught stealing five times which is a bit disconcerting, but he had 47 steals last year.  You telling me he lost that much of a step at 30-years-old?  Grey doesn’t think so, friend.  His average will pick itself up, his steals will come around and he has 15 homer power.  I don’t buy that he’s suddenly done, which is to say I do Buy him.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in Fantasy Baseball:

BUY

B.J. Frasordo – Grey unplugged, “This is for Cito Gaston.  Frasordo, why don’t you come to your senses?  You don’t let guys hit for the fences…“  Frasor, Ryan then Accardo is the way I’d grab them.  I would not own more than one, unless you’re really hurting for saves.  Get off the bullpen benches, open the gate…  You better let somebody close for you, before it’s too late…

Nate Schierholtz – For full disclosure, I secretly want him to fail so I don’t have to keep spelling his last name.  He’s worth grabbing in NL-Only leagues for some potential, but power doesn’t translate well to San Fran, except for the guys on ‘roids.

John Mayberry – While Raul Ibanez is out, Mayberry will get the majority of the starts.  He’s an all or nothing guy with some holes in his swing.  If you need some pop, give Mayberry a week and soon you’ll be whistling and fishing with Andy Taylor for a new outfielder.

Kyle Blanks – Now Chubb, stick em.  Kyle Blanks, was called up today and commenter, Corey, already gave him the nickname, The Pillsbury Fro Boy.  Ever wonder what Prince Fielder would look like playing outfield?  Check out the Padres.

David Murphy – He’s pretty much useless against lefties, but if you have the luxury of starting him only against righties, he has some decent value in deep leagues.  He’s not going to win you any leagues, but he could fill-in for a hurt outfielder.

Carlos Gomez – SAGNOF!

Casey McGehee – If the Brewers are batting him leadoff, he’s worth a flier in leagues 12 team or deeper to see how long he can stay hot.  Though his minor league numbers are pretty yawnstipating.

Brett Cecil – Worth grabbing just for his Saturday start vs. the Nats.  After that, we’ll need to see if and when he’ll start again.

Matt Downs – The Aints shipped Burriss off to the minors and gave the 2nd base job to Matt Downs.  Shame on you, Matt Downs, for having two T’s in your first name.  Don’t you know one T is all the rage?  This isn’t a Buy as much as a “Wait and See.”  Maybe Downs gets hot for a week or so, but he’s probably in over his head like Michael J. Fox in The Secret of My Success.  If Downs gets/has 2nd base eligibility in your NL-Only league, you can take a look, but I’d expect him to go back to the mailroom rather than sleep with Sabean’s wife and successfully run the Giants front office.

SELL

Brad Hawpe – His homers are down so far.  There’s a good chance he gets traded.  And if anyone thinks he’s going to hit .340 on the year, I have a can’t miss way to make millions from the comfort of your sofa for $19.95.  It will literally change your life!  Now don’t sell Hawpe for a used Hypercolor t-shirt, but I’d explore potential trades.

Nick Blackburn – Mr. Blackburn has a 6-2 record, a 3.09 ERA and a popular list of celebrity fashion don’ts, so why doesn’t anyone own him?  Cause he makes Aaron Cook seem like a strikeout pitcher.  He’s now under a 4 K/9.  That’s pretty terrible.  If you own him, you’re playing with fire, matchstick man.  So when I say Sell here, I’m more saying hold and proceed with caution.

Andrew McCutchen – Your window to trade The Dread Pirate could close at any time.  Ask someone who fielded offers on Bonifacio in the first week of the season.  Though ignore advice to sell him in keeper leagues.

Magglio Ordonez – When an old school manager tells an old player that they’re going to sit, the good ship lollipop is done sucked dry.

Nick Johnson – Averaging 2 homers a month.  Unfortunately, the season is not 20 months long.

Adam Kennedy – His June has been one big grassy knoll.

Jeff Francoeur – After last year’s travesty, you gave him another go and he gave you 28/4/30/.251/4 through two and a half months.  Might be time to say this is as good as it baguettes with Frenchy.

Trouble ahead, Casey Jones, if you think Matt Cain is ‘08 Lincecum.  I went over why this doode was faux-Cain two weeks go when I broke down FIP.  Now everyone is saying to sell high on him.  And by everyone, I mean ESPN.  Two weeks late, guys.  Went there already.  Oh, and I’m not going to link to them, because, as Berry said, that’s what they want.  Well, I want Berry to say I told him not to draft Nolasco and then he went and said Nolasco was in store for a great year.  When Berry says, I told him so.  I’ll link to them.  Wait, what was I saying?  Oh, yeah!  Cain!  So you got your lugwrench out and you’re trying to figure out how to make Cain able again.  The discrepancy between where Cain is now and where he should be is scary like Carol Channing without makeup.  Why?  Blah blah blah Lower K rate, very high strand rate… yadda yadda yadda… I went over it two weeks ago.  Open that FIP link.  And, yes, I touted the beejesus out of Cain in the preseason and I own him on a few teams.  And, yes, I’d actually feel better if his ERA was just in the low fours like it should be.  Don’t overrate his current ERA.  You know that.  So everyone’s zigging as they try to sell Cain, what do you do?  Zag?  Do you have the alligator blood to buy him for cheap?  Maybe.  It’s hard to sell a guy when their player news is calling for a regression.  It’s like running headlong into projectile vomit.  Then again, someone will drop some Liquid Paper on his stats any day now.  Now for the good news, his last time out he dropped his FIP from 4.85 to a more manageable 4.36.  One more strong start and who knows maybe he can actually be a 4.00 pitcher.  He’s not, I repeat, not a 2.40 ERA pitcher right now, but as long as you keep that in mind, you should be all right.  So sell him if you can get a decent deal, or buy him, but know what you’re getting.  Right now, people want to sell him so bad, you may actually get a decent deal for him.  He’s not terrible, just not quite what he’s been showing.  (BTW, CBS was touting Mark Reynolds as a buy this week.  I told you to buy him in March.  ESPN told you to sell Cain and Jurrjens this week.  I told you that two weeks ago.  If I didn’t write this shizz, I’d be reading it too.  Hey, wait a minute, my ’stache looks weird with my bigger head.)  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell for this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

J.P. Izzywheelfourson – Not sure if people are already done with the Rays and their bullpen shituation, but I’d hold for another week or two because whoever emerges will have value.  For full disclosure, I’m currently holding Wheeler on some teams.  No one else.

Jeff Clement – Honestly, I don’t know if he’s going to get called up with Johjima on the DL with a broken thumbkin, but if Clement gets the call, he’ll be worth a spot in mixed leagues for the catching deprived.  Right now, I’d own him in AL-Only leagues.  Recognize!

Jake Fox – Went over picking up Jake Fox yesterday.  Cliff Notes version:  The use of the phrase, “…like Tyra Banks would say, he can (hit) fiercely,” was an allusion to the reality show, America’s Next Top Model, where Tyra Banks, a former top model and terrible TV host, critiques aspiring models with the noted fashion photographer, Nigel Barker.  When an aspiring model performs well in a challenge, she’s said to be “fierce.”  So Grey is saying Jake Fox can hit well.

Fernando Martinez – As we continue our rookie nookie portion of our program, Martinez may only be up for a week or two.  I think he’s way too raw at this point in 12 team mixed leagues, so I haven’t grabbed him anywhere, but ya never know.

Tommy Hanson – Has to be up very soon.  Medlen’s been garbage.  We need Coach Leak to get the crowd started, “Let him play… Let him play…”

Luke Scott – He might only hit five homers in June, but they’ll probably come in the next week.

Alcides Escobar – Someone said something in the comments the other day that was funny, “If Web Gems is a category, this guy would be a 1st rounder.”  Or something like that, I’m paraphrasing and I don’t even know who said it and I didn’t feel like searching… Anyhoo, the Brewers put Escobar at 2nd base the day after Weeks went down.  Curious?  Yeah, they’re going to call him up.  Escobar probably won’t give you much offensively this year, except for steals.  SAGNOF!

J.A. Happ – Pickin’ up the Happy dugout!  What, no Ice Cube fans?  For shame.  Happ’s in a crizzappy park, but he gets the Nats and Padres in Petco next.

Russell Martin – Funny thing happened on the way to June.  Martin forgot he was a 1st half hitter. Anyone that actually wasted a draft pick on this catcher can’t be happy.  Right now, they’re thinking about how they could’ve punted the catcher spot, grabbed Varitek late and had 10 homers.  And they’re right, suckas!  Schadenfreude!  That doesn’t mean you can’t exploit their fragile sense of self.  Nietzsche!   Right now, they’d probably give you Martin for a side order of meatballs.  Great movie!  I’d prefer to have Martin than Varitek (or insert random catcher schmohawk that you own) for the rest of the year, so if you can weasel Martin out of someone’s clutches, consent granted.

SELL

Brandon Phillips – I was a big supporter of Phillips this year and still am, but only if he can prove healthy, and that but is J. Lo-sized.  I have a sneaky suspicion that Phillips is going to come back, then realize he can’t play with his hairline fracture on his thumb and go to the DL for 6 weeks.  Monitor him and field offers, so you seem like you’re, a, hip to the game.

Nick Johnson – You’ve been bamboozled.  Yes, you have.  No, he’s not going to stay healthy.  Nope.  Sorry.  Oh, and healthy Johnson has four homers.  Yawstipating.

Jorge De La Rosa – Not sure if I mentioned this when it happened, but I picked up George of the Rose the other day.  But benched him for his first start with me because I didn’t trust him.  He went three and a third innings and gave up seven runs.  Tragedy and trajectory towards the TV averted.  I dropped him the next day.

Manny Parra – You might’ve only owned him because of me so let me be the one to break it to you.  Commandment #1, Pitchers shall not issue walks.  Parra, go to hell.

We’re in the final days of fantasy baseball draft season and I’m taking a breather this weekend to survey my squads. This season’s drafts have been a lot more fun than last year’s as I’ve left the comfortable womb of undergrad 10-12 MLB drafts to graduate school formats like 12-team single league and 16-team mixed leagues. Going that deep in drafts makes you contemplate such unsavory questions as “Should I draft a Nationals pitcher?” and “Who will be Larussa’s go-to utility guy?”

I’ll cover the FantasyPros911 12-Team NL Blogger League in this post and cover the Yahoo! Roto Arcade 16-team mixed league in a separate one.

For those unfamiliar with FantasyPros911, they are running two expert leagues but relegated us to the ‘2nd division’ as revenge for being good friends with Chuck D who has been (unfairly) critical of their site.  Anyway, we were delighted to have the opportunity to test our fantasy baseballin’ skillz  with the other fine fantasy bloggers in this league.  (Complete draft results here)

It was the traditional auction style draft where you have $260 for your roster and 7 reserve picks (we’re still trying to finish up the last 2 rounds).  While I think my player values were right on (especially after comparing against the NL LABR Draft), I had a few missteps on draft strategy and execution.  I went in with a strategy of getting players at or below my estimated value and avoid big buck players in favor of a balanced squad.  My fellow bloggers helped me avoid any temptations to draft a top player by overbidding just about every top player.  Hanley went for a ridunkulous $54 (my valuation $39).  Albert Pujols for $49 (my valuation $36).  David Wright went for $48 (my valuation $41).  Jose Reyes for $45 (my valuation $38).  You get the idea.  This left me on the sidelines in the beginning except when it came to drafting catchers.  I don’t particularly like investing $ or high draft choices on catchers because they get more time off, have greater injury risk, and tend to slow down in the 2nd half.  But you have to mix things up a bit when 24 catchers are slotted to be drafted and I only had 13 at 300+ ABs.  After I got outbid for Brian McCann ($27), I snagged Russ Martin and Geovanny Soto for a combined $40 (I valued them at a combined $60).

After the first wave of great players, the bidding got more tentative and I started spending my dollars pretty quickly.  My biggest mistake was failing to realize you can’t move players down to your Reserve.  I survived clogging my 1B slot with a $3 Nick Johnson by snagging Cantu for my 1B/3B slot.  I lucked out after stupidly clogging my SS spot with Aaron Miles (I started and ended the bidding at $1) by snagging Alex Gonzalez in the reserve draft.  My early giddiness at getting Maybin for $13 might have led to risky OF bids on Colby Rasmus ($8) and Andrew McCutchen ($3).  Of course these guys could earn their value (they got drafted at the same $ in NL LABR) but I exposed myself to too much risk and could’ve used a safer, higher AVG guy to balance off Uggla and Reynolds.  I minimized some of that risk by snagging Seth Smith in COL with the first reserve pick but if these guys end up spending the 1st half either in the minors or on the bench, I’m in trouble.

As for pitching, I’m very happy with my starting staff.  I would’ve loved to anchor the staff with a Santana, Peavy, or Webb but I got two potential aces in Volquez and Cain for the price of one of those guys.  I’ll be lucky to get 150 IP out of Scherzer ($11) but I like him better than Cueto and Parra (both who went for $9).  I overpaid for Maine as it was later in the draft but had the money at the time.  Liking my depth at SP with Randy Wolf, Phillie prospect J.A. Happ and a Petco Park pitcher in Baek.  Not psyched about my relief crew of Francisco Cordero, Huston Street, and the two ugly options in STL (Franklin, McClellan) but hopefully I can get a couple points out of them.

I’ll write a couple posts throughout the year with updates from this league.  If I win, I get to move up to the ‘pert division in 2010.  I’m all a-tingle!