Fantasy Baseball Advice

I said three days ago that Brian Wilson was probably headed for a DL stint.  And now he’s on the DL.  Confession:  I’m a time traveler!  And not for stocks or gambling Biff-style, I use my foresight for fantasy baseball.  To recap what I’ve been saying, I said three days ago that Brian Wilson– Wait, I should recap from a little further back.  Ramon Ramirez already has two saves, so that’s who I’d grab first.  Affeldt could get some saves, you just need to put up with his annoying duck.  Casilla may sneak into the picture, but I wouldn’t go deeper than one of these guys unless you’re very desperate.  Though remember closers can smell desperation and you’ll never get any saves like that.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce that this afternoon there will be announcement. So this is the announcement’s announcement.  The pre-nouncement?  If you’ve been around the last three Augusts for our announcements, then this shouldn’t come as that huge of announcement.  But act surprised anyway, would you please?  Anyway II, the roundup:

Jordan Lyles – Was sent to Triple-A.  Hope he gets one of their TourBooks.  They have so many great coupons!

Alex Rodriguez – 0-for-5 as he returned from the DL.  Bee tee dubya, he has 13 homers on the year.  Where does he get drafted next year? Fifth round?  Sixth?  Hasn’t been drafted that low since he started hanging out with his cousin.

Eduardo Nunez – 1-for-4 with a steal.  More importantly, he played even as A-Rod returned.  Though, I wouldn’t count on that continuing.  Jeter DH’d yesterday, but he won’t do that every day.

Curtis Granderson – 1-for-4 with a slam & legs.  Now has 35 homers and 24 steals.  Is he in the MVP conversation at all?

Derek Holland – 3 1/3 IP, 5 ER as Holland gave his owners a Dutch oven.

Tyler Flowers – 2-for-3, 3 runs, has now hit in 6 of 7 games.  In one league where we lost Eli Whiteside (yeah, it’s a deep league; no, we didn’t get extra points for owning Whiteside because he sounds like herring), I added Flowers.

Ryan Braun – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI with his 25th and 26th steal.  He has no business stealing 26 bases, yet he goes out there and does just that for your fantasy team.  How sexy is he?  I want his swimsuit calendar.

Casey McGehee – 1-for-4 with his 9th homer.  Hasn’t really gotten hot all year, and I still wouldn’t say he is now, but he is hitting near .333 over the last week.  That’s McOkayhee.

Tim Hudson – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I haven’t given Hudson much fanfare this year, so here goes.  With a 3.01 ERA and a 1.07 WHIP, he’s been my most reliable starter on multiple teams and wish I owned him on every team, which is saying something since his Ks are pretty yawnstipating.  Thank you, Tim, for letting me love a non-strikeout pitcher.  Though, if you could ramp up the Ks, you’d be really awesome.

Adam Lind – Out with a sore wrist.  Should be able to return on Tuesday.  Canada waits.

Luis Perez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks and 4 Ks.  Late-blooming southpaw that ran up against a good matchup yesterday vs. the A’s.  I wouldn’t look at him outside of deep AL-Only leagues.  Could get some Ks, will probably get mollywhopped.

Frank Francisco – Scratched with a sore shoulder.  Well, stop scratching it!  Francisco has actually been decent recently, but if the shoulder’s a problem, it won’t matter.  Since Rauch is off seeing a giraffe doctor, Casey Janssen or Shawn Camp would see saves.

Rafael Furcal – Tripped over a rope and sprained his thumb.  He should’ve stuck with hopscotch.

Yadier Molina – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 homers, three this weekend.  This had to be more than just the wind blowing out at Wrigley.  I’m guessing the entire Molina family, including Alfred, was sitting behind home plate blowing.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 3 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  Um, dubya tee eff?  Last week I joked that Cleveland should raise the mound a mile above sea level, but I joke when I don’t think there’s any reason to worry.  Now, I’m kinda troubled.   Or troubaldo.  If he gets beat badly his next time out by the peasant Royals, might be time to discard.

Jacoby Ellsbury – Sat out with a back bruise after being plunked.  Eric Plunk, “Someone owes me a nickel!”

Ryan Lavarnway – 2-for-4.  Playing DH (do you play it?) which has me concerned.  If he only DHs then only pinch hits when Papi returns, will Lavarnway lose his catcher eligibility going into next year?  Probably moot since the Sawx will most likely let him start 2012 in the minors.  Cust pondering.

Craig Kimbrel – Recorded his 39th save.  Has 101 Ks, 1.72 ERA and 1.01 WHIP.  Member how Tony Gwynn used to watch hours of pitcher videos while eating donuts?  I think Kimbrel watched hours of a young Mariano.

James Shields – 7 1/3 IP, 7 ER vs. the Mariners.  Huh?  I feel like the box score had a typo.

Brandon Belt – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer.  Great, wonderful, gronderful!  But he hasn’t been playing every day so you might need to platoon him in and out of your fantasy lineup for right now.

Casper Wells – 2-for-4 with his 10th homer.  As all of Casper’s fans boo.  BTW, on Saturday I went to this karaoke place and this one guy was awful so I stood near the stage and started booing him.  Loudly.  He got rattled and started messing up the words (worse), so I booed louder.  I got a kick out of it, but apparently he didn’t.  He threw down the mic, shouted “Oh, that’s it!” and charged after me.  Luckily (for me and my mustache), three bouncers got to him before he got to me.

Michael Pineda – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Before this game, I told someone in our fantasy baseball forums that I wouldn’t start Pineda again until he pitched well.  Well (stutterer!), this was a decent start.

Nick Blackburn – Left the game with a forearm strain.  Maybe it was straining to be a fivearm.

Ben Revere – 1-for-4 with his 2nd game in a row with a steal.  SAGNOF!

James McDonald – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  McDonald was then replaced by Grilli.  I prefer the McGriddli.

Garrett Jones – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and a home run as he continues to stay hot with his 2nd homer in the last five games.

Joel Hanrahan – 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  Hanrahanananan is obviously strugglinginginging right now, but his season ERA is still at 1.76 so, ya know, don’t be ungrateful.

Carlos Quentin – Might end up on the DL with a sprained AC joint.  That sucks, humidity this time of the year is killer.

Peter Bourjos – 3-for-5 with his third homer of the weekend.  I’m telling you right now, there’s gonna be a sleeper post about him sometime in January and I’m gonna go cacacuckoo for him again next year.

Danny Espinosa – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer.  Corspinosa is alive!  He tends to be streaky so if he’s out there, I’d give him another chance if you’re hurting with your middle infidel.

Ian Desmond – 2-for-5 as he also homered yesterday.  It must’ve been Zombie Day in Nationals Park.

Seth Smith – 1-for-2 with a slam & legs.  If someone asked me what’s the bare minimum you should get from your fifth outfielder in a 12 team mixed league, I’d say look at The Lisper’s Nightmare’s stats.

Ivan Nova – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Honestly, I don’t trust him.  This start was vs. the Twins who have Plouffe, the guy who sounds like the noise a turd makes when it hits the toilet water, hitting second.  If you’re chasing wins, I could see going with Nova, but chasing wins is a losing proposition. (<–Turn of a phrase point!)

Roy Halladay – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Was lifted after a rain delay then Schwimer took over.  All I can say is thank God he’s no longer making movies.

Jimmy Rollins – Left the game with a groin injury.  Wouldn’t surprise me to see this be a DL stint since the Phils will just want everyone healthy for the playoffs.  As Jimmy gets older, maybe he should ease back a little to Strollins.

Ryan Madson – 2/3 IP, 6 ER on Friday.  Madson, the Phils already have one Bastardo in the bullpen.  Please.  Wasn’t used in a save situation on Sunday, which was then blown by Bastardo and followed by Lidge losing the game.  I think Madson will be fine, was just a big giant blip.

Matt Wieters – 6 for his last 12 and his 12th homer yesterday.  Pretty whatever season from him so far, but if he were to hit five homers in the last month plus, his season would still look a’ight with definite promise for next year.  He really needs a big last month though.  Either way, I’m still gonna go all in with him next year again, assuming he’s drafted late, which he should be at this rate.

Delmon Young – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 2nd homer on the Tigers.  On the Twins, Delmon was happy, but on the Tigers Delmon’s all about business.

Bobby Parnell – Mets said Izzy will see some saves still, but then Izzy went out on Sunday and gave up one run and on Saturday he gave up 4 runs.  They say the 301st save is always the toughest.

The week before the MLB trade deadline is upon us. This is why we keep a few extra FAAB bucks available. Wish they were good for a happy meal, because those toys always come in handy. With about 6 weeks to the fake playoffs, there is still time to make that last move to steal a few points in categories that your team may be lacking. So stocking up on some starts if you’re behind in innings isn’t always a bad idea.  Enjoy the week to come and good luck. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)

ONE START OPTIONS:
7/27
Cory Luebke vs. Ari – Kennedy
Bruce Chen @ Bos – Lackey
Ervin Santana @ Cle – Carrasco

7/28
Chris Capuano @ Cin – Bailey
John Lannan vs. Fla – Volstad
Kevin Correia @ Atl – Lowe

7/29
Josh Collmenter @ LAD – Lilly
Gillon Gee @ Was – Gorzellany
Tim Stauffer vs. Col – Hammel

Freddy Garcia (Sea vs. Vargas, Bal vs. TBD) What year is it? 2001? I don’t get it, no one predicted it. This is why overpaying for pitchers is what drives us all crazy. Yankee lineup makes him sexier.

Brandon McCarthy (TB vs. Price, Min vs. Pavano) Still building innings since return. Home ERA is tiny — 2.33. Good buy low guy, as he was prolly forgotten about for awhile.

Chris Narveson (CHC vs. Dempster, Hou vs. Myers) A Smokey fave, guess all my trashing is starting to get to him. 5-2 with a 3.80 ERA at home this year. Second half stunner last year, maybe it’s the start of something magical. Yeah, I said magical.

Rubby de la Rosa (Col vs. Nicasio, Ari vs. Saunders) K’s are nice, but anyone actually seen the Dodgers offense lately. Yeah, they score as much as the US women’s soccer team do on penalty kicks. What, too soon?

Andrew Miller (KC vs. Duffy, @Chw vs. Humber) Match-up with Duffy, first one to 6 BBs wins. Still like the chances of that lineup thwarting anything, peripherals be damned. We want wins. WINS, I say.

Dustin Moseley (Ari vs. Saunders, Col vs. Nicasio) Insert random Padre home start colloquialism. Still gets garbage run support. May not have a bullpen by Sunday to back him up.

Nick Blackburn (@Tex vs. Holland, @Oak vs. Moscoso) Lack of K’s makes him very unattractive. Only allowed one ER in last 2 starts. Name still sounds like a rash you contract on spring break.

R.A. Dickey (@Cin vs. Leake, @Was vs. Marquis) I thought first name initialed guys only wrote books. Only 1 win in last 8 starts, with a 3.38 ERA. Better pitcher on the road by a whole run.

Joe Saunders (@SD vs. Moseley, @LAD vs. De La Rosa) If effectively mediocre was a tier for starting pitchers, he would be the Sy Sperling of it. Hasn’t allowed more than 3 ER in last 7 starts. ERA just a tick above 3 on the road.

Mike Leake (NYM vs. Dickey, SF vs. Bumgarner) The much anticipated Leake-Dickey matchup. Who will win? Depends.

So I got bored this week and decided to look at some deep rooted stats. I was looking for fantasy pitchers who don’t K a lot but are still very useful for fantasy purposes, and wouldn’t you know it, it relates well to a lot of options this week. These guys get overlooked by everyone. I’m here to learn you something. Not all pitchers who have over a 7 K/9 are candidates for rosterability. There are other factors that lead these low K/9 pitchers to greater success, they have peripherals that are better than the guys we roster. It seems that there is an affection toward pitchers who will get you more K’s but hurt your ERA and WHIP as opposed to getting a starter that has a low K-rate and helps with ERA and WHIP. All the starters I list every week are based off the roster status on multiple fantasy services and I usually use less than 50% ownership (with some variances here and there). So with that, I am telling you not to forget about the guys who get it done but go unnoticed because they aren’t Brandon Morrow. They still help just as much as the “productive” players or guys we think are more productive than they actually are. I ask you this:  Would you rather have an ERA of 2.50 with 6 K’s in two starts or an ERA of 4.50 and 12 K’s in two starts?  I understand that guys contribute to both exist, but are already owned and usually the top 30-40 pitchers overall. I’m merely talking about cusp of the roster guys. Enjoy the week to come. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)

ONE START OPTIONS:

6/28
Clayton Richard vs. KC – Paulino

6/29
Carlos Carrasco @ Bal – Arrieta
Paul Maholm @ Tor – Morrow
Tim Stauffer vs. KC – Chen

6/30
Jeff Karstens @ Tor- Villanueva
Mike Pelfrey @ Det – Verlander

7/1
Juan Nicasio vs. KC – Davies
Tim Wakefield @ HOU – Norris
Bronson Arroyo vs. Cle – Masterson

Kevin Correia (@Tor vs. Reyes, @Was vs. Marquis) Should be a line painter he is so good on the road. Home/away splits are hard to ignore. Go look. See told ya. Lack of K’s make him kind of boring. I have to go dust off my Omar Moreno jersey as I told myself I would never wear it until they reach .500 in July.

John Lannan (@Ana vs. Santana, Pit vs. McDonald) ERA at 1.15 over the last 6 starts. Jump on board and ride the hot hand. Low K guys are the Monty Capuletti of fantasy. The Nats are on a pretty decent roll right now.

R.A. Dickey (@Det vs. Porcello, NYY vs. Garcia) Deserves better. Only one win to show for his 2.35 ERA over the last month. Odd stat o’ the day, Metco is a pitchers haven but his ERA is lower on the road by a run.

Jason Hammel (CHW vs. Floyd, KC vs. Francis) Pitching in Colorado stinks. It’s pretty cut and dry, ERA’s get bloated, WHIP’s get taken to the shed. Pitches just bad enough that his offense can’t help him. Last resort for deep leagues this week.

Jason Marquis (@Ana vs. Pineiro, Pit vs. Correia) Has pitched surprisingly awesome and fits the bill for the above mentioned low K guys. Gets hit around a little but pitches to contact so what do you expect? Home ERA in the mid 2’s.

Jordan Lyles (Tex vs. Wilson, Bos vs. Miller) Two tough matchups, both lineups can hit. Pitched okay last week against the Rangers. The Astros pitchers are horrible to chase wins with. K/BB rate of 4/1. Lefties only hitting .208 against.

Nick Blackburn (LAD vs. Billingsley, Mil vs. Greinke) Yet another low K guy, I can’t make this stuff up. June ERA is 2.04.  Wait, it gets better for the unappreciated, home ERA for the year is 2.40. Matchup names are scary, but anyone seen Minnesota play lately. No, go ask Buster Poindexter then.

Ryan Vogelsong (@CHC vs. Davis, @Det vs. Scherzer) You see that thing in the horizon, yeah that’s the ship that sailed. I pimped and pimped for as long as I could but he finally graduated to usefulness. Who is the next american pitcher to come back from Japan? I did the research for ya, it’s Bryan Bullington.

Andrew Miller (@Phi vs. Lee, @Hou vs. Lyles) Watched his first start, he pitched okay, and it was against the Friars. K potential is nice, being a tether ball isn’t. I asked Jerry Remy after the game what he thought, his quote “Not now, kid.” Dynamite stuff, Remdog.

Brandon Beachy (@Sea vs. Bedard, Bal vs. Britton) Prolly the most added guy in any league or format for the next week. The 11 K outing makes everyone think “I want some of that goodness.” Only bad thing I can see is he may give up some taters… Mmmm taters.

Yesterday, Joakim Soria lost the closer job yesterday to Aaron Crow.  Yeah, and pigeons fly.  Wait, they do.  Wait II, The Return of Wait, maybe that makes sense.  Yeah, I think it does.  Thank you, left side of the brain for working with the right side.  Glad you’re talking again.  You guys rock!  The ax falling on The Mexicutioner was a long time coming.  He only had one save in May and had given up 7 runs in 9 1/3 IP.  He wasn’t much better in April.  In June, he could get the job back.  Your deity of choice knows that Aaron Crow isn’t really all that great but he is the guy for right now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Alfonso Soriano – With yesterday’s game with a strained quad.  He’ll probably go to the DL by the time you read this, assuming you dinnit stay up to read this at 12:26 AM PST when it was posted.  (BTW, Didn’t and I went our separate ways.  It’s now dinnit or bust.  Don’t, you’re on notice!)

Tony Campana – Yesterday, he had 4 steals (on only one hit!).  I’d like to introduce Campana to my right clickie finger that picks players off waivers.  In the minors, he showed bonkers speed. Or sponkers, if you enjoy portmanteaus.  Not just fast, but crazy.  One year, 48 steals in 131 games and 20 times caught stealing.  Tony Campana runs like he just sniffed a mountain of coke and killed some cockroaches.  With Byrd still recouping, Soriano likely headed to the DL and the Cubs needing a spark plug, I picked up Campana wherever I could.  He’s probably nothing but a short term SAGNOF’er, but member what Jason Bourgeois did a month ago?  Yeah, you do.  Now come here and let me pinch your cheeks!

Kelly Johnson – 4-for-6 and 2 homers yesterday.  Now has 4 homers and 6 steals while batting .190– Oh no, he doesn’t.  That’s what he had on May 13th when I told you to buy him.  He now has 9 homers, 8 steals and raised his average 52 points.

Justin Upton – 5-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs, his 10th home run and 10th steal.  I own him in a few leagues, so this is partially selfish of me, but I’d love for him to have his star mitzvah this year.  Say 35 homers, 20 steals and a .280 average while becoming a first round draft pick for next year.  That would be nice.  (BTW, I can neither confirm or deny this, but Vin Scully checked in on the Arizona game and said Justin Upton was 5-for-5 with a home run when Upton was 4-for-4 with no home run.  Then Upton hit a home run 15 minutes later.)

Juan Miranda – 0-for-4 while the Diamondbacks scored 15 runs.  Ticker tease!

Jose Reyes – Out for 3-7 days with the death of his grandmother.  As someone who was raised by their abuelita, I feel for Reyes, but, well, my fantasy team kinda needs him.  Oh, man, I’m a bad person.

Ike Davis – Still having pain in his ankle.  A Met having an injury setback?  That is uber crazy.  Yeah, I said uber.  Deal with it!

Charlie Morton – 6 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Put eleven baserunners in six innings and only one earned run into Fangraphs Database and you get the error message, “Does not compute.”

Pablo Sandoval – Sounds like he’s about a week and a half away.  Or at least that’s the rumor why the Giants clubhouse manager went to Costco for a 128-count Chipwich box.

Brandon Crawford – 1-for-3 with his first steal after hitting a granny in the first game of his career. (That better not had been Jose Reyes’s granny!)  He has very, very modest power and speed (like 7/7 over the course of a season).  To give you of an idea of how deep the league needs to be to grab him, he’s available in one of my NL-Only leagues.

Eric Patterson – 2-for-5 and has led off two of the last three games!  *small voice*  But he’s hitting .189.  *big voice*  He’s stolen 2 bases in those starts!  *small voice*  He doesn’t play every day.  Okay, I’d look at him in NL-Only leagues or deeper leagues for a short term boost on speed.  To put it in New Jersey terms, you pass through Patterson, you don’t stay there.

Logan Forsythe – Here’s another NL-Only shout out.  He’s playing every day for the Padres, though you’d think if Forsythe was in SoCal, he’d be saying hello to the Angels.  He doesn’t have much power and Petco will suppress that further.  “Stop smothering me, Petco!  I mean, mothering.  Actually, I don’t.”  Forsythe has five homer power and teen speed.  Think a poor man’s Bartlett, i.e. the cupboards are Barelett.

Tim Hudson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Other than the mollywhopping he took at the hands of the Angels, he’s been decent if a bit yawnstipating with Ks.

Mike Napoli – 3-for-6, 5 RBIs and two more homers to bring his total to 10.  When he seeks revenge on you for dropping him, he does it swiftly and decisively.

Jayson Nix – Him and brother, Laynce, hit homers yesterday.  Today, their brother, Jaymes, drinks himself into a stupor for being the black sheep of the family.

Eric Young Jr. – Another day, another steal.  Okay, I’m not talking about him again until Friday’s Buy.

Francisco Liriano – To the DL when the MRI revealed shoulder inflammation.  The MRI also revealed it was glad it didn’t draft him.

Phil Hughes – Could be back by July.  Yanks said they won’t push him.  Put him near traffic and I’ll give him a little shove.

Raul Ibanez – 1-for-3 with his 4th homer in the last week.  Frequent commenter, Hans, mentioned Ibanez’s recent hot streak in the comments (appropriate!).  I was going to talk about Ibanez yesterday, because he has been crazy hot, it’s just so hard to generate excitement about him and unless you ask, “Between him or Cuddyer,” I’m probably going to say the other guy.

Nick Blackburn – 6 IP, 5 ER.  I love corrections to schmohawks.  Schadenfreude!

Danny Espinosa – Hit his 8th homer yesterday and has 4 steals on the season.  When he ends the season with a .250 average, 20 homers and 10 steals, you’re gonna wonder why you dropped him.

Mike Morse – Another day, another home run.  You’re waiting way too long to pick him up.  You, “Who me?”  Yeah, you.

Jay Bruce – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs with his 16th home run.  Could Bruce sneak into the first round next year?  Nah, probably not.  But he’s moving into the 2nd.

Hanley Ramirez – Out again with what he described as “the worst (pain) he has ever felt.”  I betcha there’s quite a few of his fantasy owners that would like to help Hanley continue to break his personal pain threshold record.

Hunter Pence – 3-for-4, 4 runs, 2 RBIs and his 7th home run.  Pence is one of those players that stays exactly on pace for his end of the year stats all year long.  Minute he starts to fall off pace, he’ll hit a home run or steal a base.

Torii Hunter – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and two home runs.  One for each I.

Mark Trumbo – 2-for-5 with his 2nd home run in as many days.  It’s the smart move to keep him in the lineup.  Still waiting for the Sciosciapath to make the not smart move.

Fernando Rodney – Got the save yesterday.  Walden gave up two runs the day before and threw 37 pitches, so this is probably nothing, but — and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but — I still grabbed Rodney in leagues where I need saves.  In May, Walden has a 5.54 ERA, 1.77 WHIP; Rodney hasn’t given up a run in the past week.  (Yeah, I’m cherrypicking stats, but whatever.  It’s my blog.  Start your own blog and cherrypick your own numbers.)

Jon Lester – 5 2/3 IP, 7 ER, 12 baserunners, 4 Ks.  I wouldn’t press the panic button, but two of his last three starts have been duds.

Kyle McClellan – 4 IP, 7 ER.  See Nick Blackburn or 7 and a 1/4 inches above.

Albert Pujols – 2-for-4 with the ever-tasty slam and legs.  A Pujols by any other name would smell foul.

Bartolo Colon – 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks.  A doctor in Boca Raton is claiming he used stem cells to fix Colon’s arm and make him an effective pitcher once again.  The doctor says he used Colon’s own fat cells to repair the elbow.  Now the elbow is working like new but it can no longer fit into any of his shirts.

I have come to the revelation that I watch way too many baseball games. On average in a week, I watch roughly 30-40 games. I am always looking for trends or nuisances that will aide, but not abet, my fantasy know how. The thing I watch most is pitching. Pitching is the most added and dropped position, based mostly because of depth. So depth is what I give you. I take guys that are owned in less than 50% of leagues and bring you my take on what they are and who they may be in the week ahead. I wish I had the power to give them wins in every start, but chasing wins is the axis of evil in fantasy. So use this low end guide to your advantage and go forth and make me proud. So here are the lesser owned two start fantasy baseball options for the upcoming week. (Please keep in mind that match-ups and pitchers may change.)

ONE START OPTIONS:

6/1
Josh Tomlin @Tor – Drabek
Mike Leake vs. Mil – Marcum

6/2
Carlos Carrasco vs. Tex – Harrison
Tim Stauffer vs. Hou – W. Rodriguez

6/3
Jason Vargas vs. TB – Hellickson
Carlos Villanueva @ Bal – Bergesen
Bud Norris @ SD – Moseley

Doug Fister (Bal vs. Arrieta, TB vs. Davis) Yeah, that’s what she said. Another pitcher that if he pitched for a better team we would prolly be rostered all over based on his numbers. If you’re going to chase wins, at least do it with a guy who will get you 5 K’s and decent peripherals. ERA under 3 at home.

Dillon Gee (Pit vs. Morton, Atl vs. Jurrjens) Prolly the best name for a baseball player since, Rusty Kuntz. Home ERA of 1.66. You could do a lot worse, i.e. about a 1/8 of an inch down.

Luke Hochevar (Ana vs. Santana, Min vs. Blackburn) The streetwalker’s barber.  If I could find something good to say about him, I would. Umm… he pitches twice this week. If your league is deep enough, it could make sense.

Derek Holland (@TB vs. Davis, @Cle vs. Carmona) 2.51 ERA away from Arlington. Gives up way too many balls in play, BAA is .296. Is “due” for win. Has gone 6 starts without a decision, somewhere Jo-Jo Reyes makes a fist and screams.

Chris Narveson (@Cin vs. Wood, @Fla vs. Volstad) Oh Narvy, first it was Bud Norris that went out of his way to scorn my affection. Now it’s you. Seems like he pitches great than beats himself with the dreaded 6 run HR. ERA better away from the Brewery.

J.A. Happ (@CHC vs. Coleman, @SD vs. Harang) Love the K-rate, but the walks make me sad. You have to watch him to get frustrated with him, and who watches the ’Stros. Away ERA is abysmal but anchored by two bad starts early in the season.

Nick Blackburn (@Det vs. Penny, @KC vs. Hochevar) Last 5 starts, 3-0 21 K’s and an ERA of 1.72. Sounds good to me. Name still sound like a skin disease you contract from a trip to Venezuela.

Brad Penny (Min vs. Blackburn, @CHW vs. Danks) My grandma always said, “See a Penny, pick it up.” She also can’t read fantasy stat lines.  K/9 and BB/9 are almost the same number. If you live under a rock (find a new place to stay), that’s never a good stat to have similar.

Chris Volstad (Ari vs. Saunders, @Mil vs. Narveson) Maybe it’s just me but I love all the Marlins starters. xFIP 2 runs lower than his ERA. Offers you some medium K potential, which is a lot better than rare.

Ryan Vogelsong (@StL vs. Carpenter, Col vs. Hammel) The newest veteran magician to suddenly appear on the fantasy scene. Numbers are just stupid, best of all is the .038 ERA at home.