There are certain things in this world that should be considered criminal. Bringing 11 items to a 10 item express lane is one of them. Breaking out your checkbook at said express lane would be another. Not having your gosh darned info filled out BEFORE they’re done ringing up your stuff would be another. Seriously, do you need to know the total before you sign it and put the date on it? Did you really need to know it was $23.42 before you marked ‘groceries’ as the ‘for’ section? And why you using checks, dude! It’s 2013! I don’t care if you have bad credit, it’s called a debit card or pulling out cash! But I’ll spend more if I have a card or cash. You do already now, jack-hole, you just do it slower and tick off everyone around you! Wow, that escalated quickly. Where was I? Oh yeah, things that should be considered criminal. Outside of unxpressing an express lane, a big no no in my book is letting a guy who hits third in the lineup of a team that currently leads the league in runs languish out in the FA pool. I’m here to talk with you about the lisper’s nightmare, Seth Smith, and how he can help you during week 5 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season…