A Spanish woman, dressed in black, just pedaled past my house, chanting, “Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo… Oh shoot, I ripped my stockings!”  It was totally sad.  Kinda like when your best buddy, let’s call him Chase Utley, gets old man knee and the Phillies replace him with Luis Castillo.  Luis Castillo would be good for my pre-All-Star Game contest where him and Juan Pierre have a home run contest and the gopher ball-happy Rodrigo Lopez is pitching.  Just think of how few back’s we’d have to hear from Berman.  There’s nothing as far as fantasy goes with Castillo.  Even if objects appear closer in the side view, you still can’t see Castillo’s best days.  To give you an idea of how terrible he is, the Mets released him.  Long story short, he’s useless in any league where there are other starting 2Bs available.  This Castillo signing does spell further doom for Utley.  You really can’t draft him at this point.  Also, my giant ostrich head has been in the sand too long with Howard.  No Utley hurts him.  I’m dropping him eight spots in the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings to right behind A-Rod.  I would still draft him, but you can’t expect 115 RBIs or 95 runs at this point.  Well, you can, but people might start to worry about you.  Anyway, here’s some more news in fantasy baseball:

Johnny Cueto – Will miss 10 days or more with shoulder inflammation.  Looks like Jason LaRue’s voodoo doll is finally working.  This sounds like Cueto is going to miss at least a few weeks of the season.  Obviously, not a great sign, but before we take Cueto to the mattresses for getting injured we should tempurpedic our concern.  It’s a long season and he had a 5+ ERA last April and you still drafted him this year.  He gets better in the heat, just DL him once the Reds do.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I already put my feet on your coffee table while typing up my notes on the September call-up hitters and September call-up pitchers.  Oh, and I didn’t use a coaster for my forty of Colt 45.  Natch!  Not too many surprises in the call-ups.  The peasant Royals are dragging their feet on Mike Moustakas, not calling him up.  What else is new?  Carlos Carrasco was called up and got the start.  Go Indians, it’s your birthday.  I’ll get to Carrasco later on.  I’ll fill in a Mad Libs blurb for Wilson Ramos’ call up.  I’ll even go over J.P.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week our borderline fantasy starters, I came away with an 3.95 ERA.  Not too shabby considering two of those earned runs came from Ross Ohlendorf, who I warned you to only start in extreme circumstances, and Travis Wood got absolutely rocked for 7 earned runs.  Without those two, the ERA was 2.90 in 62.1 IP.  There were also 62 Ks with 6 Wins.  To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%.  These streamers are listed alphabetically.  Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:

Friday, August 27th

Barry Enright – Hey, ya’ll!  It’s Uncle Barry Enright.  Hey, Uncle Barry, good luck in your game vs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?