With the top 40 outfielders, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps. We meaning me, but I’ll include you. No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand. Why are you now patting my butt? (Here’s all the final 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. They’re also to your left… your other left. And down.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Nelson Cruz
Despite his unfortunate name, Homer Bailey pitched the first Reds’ no-hitter since 1988 last night, completely shutting down the Pirates down-and-out offense, allowing just 2 base runners on an error and a walk and striking out a career high 10 batters.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Baseball, hot dogs, apple pies, Chevrolet and the Naked Gun trilogy? What’s more American than that? As the love for the aforementioned things has dwindled, so has appreciation and remembrance of the Naked Gun series, which is easily the best spoof series of all time.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive.
Please, blog, may I have some more?A few days ago Zack Greinke hinted that he liked the Angels organization, and praise them, Anaheim made it happen, pulling off perhaps what will be the biggest trade of the season. They acquired the Greinkster for three prospects: shortstop Jean Segura and pitchers Johnny Hellweg and Ariel Pena.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Kendrys returns (or is the verb singular there?) this year, but can’t play every day, and when he does, he needs to DH. So, since Mark Trumbo fields about as well as Dalton Trumbo fielded commie accusations, it seemed like Trumbo (Mark) would be benched a lot. In years past, Scioscia would’ve went with some variation of a light-hitting middle infielder with a good glove — “You can’t teach moxie! Moxie’s innate! Chone Figgins had so much moxie. He could’ve played 3rd base, 2nd base and waitressed at a diner from midnight to 8 AM.” That’s a direct quote from Scioscia’s autobiography, “Crouching Angel, Hidden Drag Bunt.” But maybe Scioscia learned himself something because Trumbo is playing every day, and hitting well. Yesterday, he went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 13th and 14th homers. Right now, Trumbo’s hitting .326. That’s probably through his ceiling for average, through the ceiling above it and out the roof. He could hit 50 to 60 points below that. There’s still plenty of value here. He’s on his way to 30-plus homers, solid counting stats and 10-plus steals. Basically, what you hope you get from Pujols at this point. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Scott Downs – And just when you think The Sciosciapath has his harsh mellowed over the closer sitch, he goes and flips the script. Colvin and CarGo, two lefties, were due up in the ninth, so I’m guessing he went with Downs there for that reason. I’d continue to hold Frieri, but obviously Downs isn’t out of the picture completely. He’s kinda photobombing the closer picture, actually.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Trini (Psychic Friends Network – RCL 22) held onto first place in the Master standings, adding a point to make 108 total. Carlos Gonzalez hit .500 with 4 home runs and 9 RBI to pace the Psychics’ offense, while James McDonald gave up just 1 run in winning 2 games to anchor their pitching staff.
Please, blog, may I have some more?With games like this, who needs healthy elbows? Certainly not Chris Sale. Four score and two dozen ‘and that’s me quoting me’s ago, I posted our AL-Only team. I went on about what a shambles the pitching staff was and how our only bat was Evan Longoria. Sure, we had high hopes for Brad Peacock, but our starters were cheap tequila bad. The more you looked at them, the worse The Gas Face you got. All we had was Jake Peavy and Chris Sale. ZOINKS!!!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Also known as the Bond movie no one remembers, and the start you won’t soon forget. Speaking of bad movies, remember that movie starring David Bowie as an alien in search of water who falls to Earth. I think it was called “The Man Who Fell to Earth.” Brandon Morrow did his best David Bowie impression last night as he came crashing down to Earth, getting lit up by the Mighty Texas Rangers for 6 ER in 0.2 innings, inflating his ERA to 3.47.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Royals physician diagnosed Danny Duffy with a torn UCL, which would mean Tommy John surgery. In related news, Dr. James Andrews is filing a trademark lawsuit, saying he’s the only doctor that can shut down pitchers for longer than 60 days. In sorta related news, Francisco Liriano is still waiting to come back. In unrelated news, when Dr.
Please, blog, may I have some more?

