Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.

Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I sure wish Grey would do his 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  Wait, I am Grey and this is those rankings!  I need to sit down.  Wait, I am sitting!  I can’t handle all of this!  I’m going to put on a pair of pants and go dance in the street.  Meh, let’s be honest, pants are a chore.  So, this is the greatest day ever!  Now, only 400,000 words more until I finish my top 500 and I’ll be done.  Worst day ever!  Damn, that excitement was fleeting.  Well, not for you because you don’t have to write all the rankings.  You lucky son of a gun!  I wish I were you… *wavy lines*  Hey, why am I balding and have lost all definition in my buttocks?  *wavy lines*  Hmm, I’m gonna stay me.  Now before we get into the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball (though I imagine every single one of you has skipped this intro paragraph), I’m gonna lay down some exposition.  Here’s where you follow us on Twitter.  Here’s where you follow us on Facebook.  Here’s our fantasy baseball player rater.  Here’s our fantasy baseball team name generator.  Here is all of our 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  Here’s the position eligibility chart for 2017 fantasy baseball.  And here is a picture of my son.  What a punim!  You may not get all of those links in such a handy, easy-to-use format ever again this year, so make proper note.  (Unless you just go to the top menu on this page that says “Rankings” and click it, but semantics, my over-the-internet friend, semantics.)  Now my expositional half insists I breakdown some generalizations about these 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  The 2017 fantasy baseball rankings will be an ever-evolving mass like the blob.  This fantasy baseball top 10 for 2017 list is as of right now and could potentially change with a big injury or Mike Trout quitting baseball because he’s bored with being the best and wants to play competitive Mahjong.  (I’m not sure yet where Trout would rank in my Mahjong Top 10.) So while it is the 2017 fantasy baseball gospel, take it with a tablet of salt.  Tomorrow we will cover the rest of the top twenty for 2017 fantasy baseball, then we will go around the horn with a top 20 (more like 50) list for every position.  Then for pitchers and outfielders, I’ll turn the dial to 100 (more like 140).  Listed with each player are my 2017 projections.  Did I consult with anyone else who does projections?  It would be ignorant not to, but, in the end, these are my projections.  Players need 10 games at a position to get included in the positional rankings.  Finally, as with each list in the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, I will be mentioning where I see tiers start and stop.  I look at tiers like this, if Jose Altuve and Paul Goldschmidt are in the same tier, it doesn’t matter if one guy is ranked 2nd and one guy is ranked 5th, they’re both very close.  It comes down to personal preference.  I would prefer the guy at number two over the guy at five, but you do you, I’ll do me and let’s hope we don’t go blind.  Anyway, here’s the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Went over the catchers1st basemen2nd basemen and shortstops and top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.  Guess what’s next!  No, not pitchers. Read the title, man.  In 2010, there were only 5 outfielders that hit 30 homers, in 2011 there were 9, 14 in 2012, in 2013 there were 3, a small bounce back with 6 in 2014 and last year there were eight.  This year:  less than you likely think.  The infield had a ton of homers.  Outfield was decent, solid, thesaurus word.  Was it the best home run count since 2010?  No, actually, it wasn’t.  It was the 2nd best.  11 outfielders hit 30 homers.  If you were to include outfielders that hit 29 homers, that shoots up to 15.  Also, there were 35 outfielders who hit 20 homers; last year, there was 24.  As for steals, there were 14 outfielders who stole 30 bases in 2012, 10 in 2013, 11 in 2014, and only five outfielders who stole 30 bases (only seven players total) last year.  This year:  seven outfielders stole 30 and 14 overall.  Hello, offense, my old friend.  As before, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday….yesterday….yesterday….
All my fantasy baseball titles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though one is here to stay *sung in a very fast voice* oh, crap, nope, because I drafted Matt Holliday,
Oh, why did I believe in Holliday…day…day…day.
Suddenly!  Jacob deGrom’s arm is not half of what it used to be.
There’s a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, it’s Giancarlo’s injured groin that I made of plaster of Paris and that just came to me suddenly!
Why the season had to go, I don’t know, it wouldn’t say… because it can’t talk, it’s a baseball season that ended yesterday…yesterday…yesterday!
Fantasy Baseball was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a mother’s basement to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday…day…day.

*sniffles*  Here, take a tissue.  You have to excuse me, I don’t have any clean ones.  What will we do for the next few months without an update on a Mets’ pitcher elbow?  Does Daniel Murphy’s butt hurt or is he just butt-hurt?  What will we do without a Bryce Harper injury update?  WHAT?  WILL?  WE?  DO?  Prepare for next season, of course.  But, first, let’s bask in the last day of the season.  Today is the day when you realize you’ve spent 27,000 man hours this summer beating eleven other strangers to win a virtual trophy, and it feels great!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

papiout

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is officially the last day of school. And by school I mean me writing fantasy baseball posts in 2016. Over the next few months I’m sure Grey will take a gander at the numbers to determine if yours truly will be back in 2017. Hopefully my eight remaining followers have enough pull to see me through to the other side and get me invited back to Razzball Spring Training. But if not, it’s been a good run. This post is my 94th baseball-related post. I have big incentives in my contract if I make it one hundred, so I hope that doesn’t influence Grey’s decision in a negative way. There are a lot of hungry points league writers out there that just might be willing do what I do for even less. Will they be as cool as I am? Doubtful. As funny? Certainly not. And lastly, will they have the maturity level of a third grader? I certainly hope so. Here’s to hoping Grey just flips a two-headed coin.

Before I jump the gun and start saying any official goodbyes, I think we should take a look back at 2016 and what happened in points leagues…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, was the first time the Cubs have won 100 games since 1935.  Though, in 1994, the Cubs were so gonna win the final 49 games if the strike didn’t happen, giving them 98 wins, then two losses were going to go under review and get reversed.  What?  My crystal ball is very specific.  Why don’t you people believe me?  Kidding, I know you believe me because I can see you in my crystal ball.  Put on some pants that don’t have an elastic band, would you please!  Kyle Hendricks (6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (0 walks), 5 Ks, ERA down to 1.99) did his usual magic.  I say let him sit out his final start so he can end the year with a minus-2 ERA, and I bet the Cubs say the same thing as me.  Know why?  I have the best words.  People love my words.  No one has words like me.  Carrying them offensively was Javier Baez (2-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 14th homer).  Whenever Hendricks grooves, Baez seems to play himself a little ditty, too.  Must be their Woodstock connection.  If Joan Baez didn’t perform at Woodstock, don’t tell me, for folk’s sake.  Baez is going to be a tough nut to peg (totally a saying) for 2017 fantasy.  He’s made great strides with his strikeouts.  Looks like an easy bet for a 17/17 season if he were to play every day, but 17/17 is just a tad boring compared to 20/20.  By the way, Tad Boring never gets any dates on Tinder.  Also, we’re not sure if Baez will have an everyday job.  Cubs’ playing time can be Maddon’ing.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Cleveland Indians’ rotation has taken some major hits in the last week or two, with Carlos Carrasco and Danny Salazar going out for the season with injuries. Mike Clevinger, he of the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen this side of Sampson, starts against the Royals today. They need to find a way to expand their rotation options for the postseason, and I suspect that Clevinger will get stretched out plenty in his last few starts; his lack of innings in his last few starts should stop being an issue, and instead it should be all about his hair (and his nasty stuff).

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 26th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to ourDFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

All season long I’ve been using points per plate appearance as my metric of choice when it comes to comparing players. It’s certainly not the only stat I look at, but it definitely holds its weight when I’m punching numbers into my calculator. After some consideration I realized that points per game deserves a mention as well, especially daily leagues. Knowing how many points a player averages per game is an extremely useful statistic when deciding which players to start each day. Even in weekly leagues PPG is a strong indicator of value.

Here’s a look at all batters for 2016 organized by position…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since the beginning of this season, I have been following the lovely mustache of none other than Daniel Mengden of the Oakland Athletics. Turns out, Mengden also has pretty good stuff in his right arm out on the hill. However, he has yet to be able to fully translate it to the big leagues. I believe in him in a matchup against the mostly punchless Royals, and so should you. If you need convincing, just go look up Daniel Mengden, admire his mustache for however long you need, and then put him in your lineup and reap the rewards of such a great mustache.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 19th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to ourDFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s good amigos!? We’re blessed with another Sunday. Only this isn’t any ordinary, run of the mill type Sunday. This is Week 1 of the NFL season and we should all rejoice. Not only because we’re all red meat consuming, patriotic, concussion cheering Americans, but this also marks the start of a unique daily fantasy opportunity. You see, most everyone else will be focusing on crafting their NFL lineups, while those of us “Baseball sharps” can take advantage of the money just begging to jump into our pockets. Yes it’s true…there’s still plenty of cash floating around in baseball contests and it’s your job to seek it out. Look for the contests that are guaranteed but might not fill up in time and apply the knowledge you have about September baseball ( Or what we provide here) and use it to your advantage. For example, you might really like a certain high-priced pitcher, but since his team is either out of the playoff picture or too far ahead of the pack to worry – he very well could be pulled after just a few short innings. So with that in mind, today we’re all climbing aboard the “Dream Weaver” train. Luke Weaver has a delicious matchup with the Milwaukee Brewers and it happens to be at home where he owns a 1.50 ERA and 1.00 WHIP. The Brewers have the worst strikeout rate in baseball, checking in at 25.2% and their .318 wOBA is merely average as it ranks 15th in the league. The Beer Makers check in with a 92 wRC+ which ranks in the bottom third of the league and their .161 ISO and .736 OPS register below league average as well. Though the sample is a bit small, Weaver owns a 4.43 K/BB & 11.16 K/9 ratio through 25 innings this year and he’s done this with a rather unlucky .358 BABIP. Wanna know the best part? Weaver checks in with a price tag of $4,800!!! Do I have your attention yet? Good. I’ll leave my pants on then. There’s really no need for me put on my Sunday chaps and give you the off-off Broadway version of “Dallas Buyers Club.” I’ll save that for another day.

Anyway, here’s the best of the rest of my Sunday suggestions:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 12th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?