Ian Kennedy loves each and everyone. That’s why he gave you 12 Ks yesterday over 8 innings while only allowing one hit. You say, “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. How could he love me?” You remember when you couldn’t find a parking spot at Chick-fil-A last week and you were about to give up when a chicken sandwich fell into the flat bed of your El Camino?Please, blog, may I have some more?
What a ridonkulous season from Melky Cabrera. Most of youse didn’t even draft him and here he is in September going 4-for-5 with his 18th homer, raising his average to .303 to go along with 18 steals. As they used to say in 14th century China, “Damn, Ming.” The spilled coffee on the saucer that then drips onto your dress shirt is I don’t trust this guy at all for next year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On September 7th, Kyle Farnsworth entered a 4-3 game like he had so many times before. No one knows how many times because no one’s bothered to look, or at least no one I’ve come across. This September game was played during the day in Tampa with the temperature listed as: Indoors.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This year Doug Fister has been a revelation like a Dorito in the shape of the Virgin Mary telling you it’s time to change your underwear. Mystically, making something out of nothing and turning it into a little something-something. 13 strikeouts yesterday?!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jeremy Hellickson threw a complete game yesterday giving up one earned run. Great, tremendous, gremendous! Hey, Rays, take out an ad in Variety for Hellickson for Rookie of the Year. The ad can flaunt a quote from Rays beat writer Roger Mooney saying, “Hellickson is the best rookie pitcher I’ve ever seen!” Rays blogger Jason Collette says, “He’s better than Melissa Leo!” A Tampa Bay area Hooters waitress, “And he’s a good tipper!” Last year, Hellickson threw a 155 2/3 innings.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kevin Gregg was handed his 6th blown save yesterday. He’s tizzerrible. I won’t defend him. Your honor, no questions at this time. I just don’t see the Orioles bothering to switch things up. They’re defeated. Look into their eyes and you see the shadow of Cal Ripken Jr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week we’re starting a new weekly column that will be here every Thursday afternoon, it will be all about 2012 fantasy baseball keepers. The column will then move to Friday in the offseason. Since many fantasy baseball keeper leagues don’t decide on their keepers until the start of the new season, I figured I’d go over some fantasy baseball keepers from now until next spring.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Took a few years, but the Twins found out that youth is wasted on the Young as they sang, “May You Stay (Away) Forever, Young.” Yesterday, the Detroit Tigers became the first club to acquire both Meat Hooks. A distinction that I’m not sure other clubs wanted.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Derrek Lee went 2-for-4 with 3 RBIs and two homers as he continues to get medieval on pitching, which isn’t an old crack, though it could be. I appreciate the Pirates trying to make moves at the trading deadline, but their moves were kinda of the “We’re gonna make moves so it seems like we’re doing something, but we’re just gonna grab guys like Ludwick” variety.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ed Wade’s Toupee has made it clear that he’s trying to move Hunter Pence in a trade. Why would the Astros want to hold onto their best player? He just gives his fans false hope. False hope is worst than no hope.Please, blog, may I have some more?