This isn’t meant to replace Smokey’s two-start pitchers for fantasy that comes every weekend. This is meant to supplement that, like something A-Rod’s cousin would give you. This isn’t two start pitchers, this is barely owned guys that could give you one start. A pick up and a drop. They’re all owned in less than 50% of ESPN leagues. Pretty much everything I told you in the beginning of the year about trusting your big guns and not trusting the wayward sons-of-bees goes out the window this time of year. If you’re battling for pitching points or in the H2H playoffs, you need to take some chances I wouldn’t necessarily take in April. Suddenly, Jeff Francis looks ownable and John Lannan doesn’t look like John Lannan, but looks like a guy whose home ERA is under 3. So I’ve assembled starters from Friday, the new Hump Day, until next Wednesday, the old Hump Day, that you could take a chance on depending on how bad your pitching shituation is. I’m not completely proud of all of these guys, but their mommas are (even Momma Lannan). Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:
Friday, September 9th
Bud Norris – Has a great K-rate and goes against the Nationals, a team that is 2nd in the majors in strikeouts. Could see him getting tagged for a homer or two, but should give you 6 innings and at least 6 Ks. There’s a chance here for a 7 IP, 10 Ks game. Fancy me some of that!
Jeff Francis – Game is in Safeco. Yes, that’s all you need to know. A recurring theme will emerge. Recurring Theme, “Safeco!” See?
Saturday, September 10th
Henderson Alvarez – My very-risky-may-not-be-risky-at-all start of the week. Why do I sound like a less racist Jimmy The Greek? Alvarez won’t strikeout many guys but, as long as balls don’t find holes — that’s what she said! — he should be okay.
Chris Capuano – Has been better in Metco than on the road and he gets the below-average Cubs offense at home.
John Lannan – I aforementioned this shizz if you read the lead — or lede if you’re an old-timer who likes the feel of a newspaper, Lannan’s home ERA is under 3 and he gets the Astros.
Edwin Jackson – This start worries me and I debated leaving it off, so there’s that.
Wade Miley – He gets the Padres. This will be another recurring theme – Recurring Theme, “Padres!” — but not for this week. Recurring Theme, “My bad.”
Sunday, September 11th
Javier Vazquez – He falls under the 50% owned threshold, but he really shouldn’t. So this one’s kind of a gimme. Now watch him drop an upper decker.
Monday, September 12th
Brad Lincoln – Four score and four straight quality starts ago, he was a middle reliever. Now he gets a team (the Cards) that he threw six shutout innings against.
Mike Leake – In 23 innings, he has a 2.74 ERA vs. the Cubs, including his last game where he was within an out of a one-hitter.
R.A. Dickey – He rematches against Wang for the Toilet Bowl II.
Phil Hughes – Recurring Theme, “Safeco!”
Aaron Harang – He goes against the Giants and rookie Surkamp, who I almost listed here too. Conflict of interests yadda3.
Tuesday, September 13th
Guillermo Moscoso – Honestly, only because I had to pick someone. It’s Tuesday the 13th… Spooky!
Wednesday, September 14th
Brandon McCarthy – I expect he’s gonna get rattled in his Friday start vs. the Rangers because, ya know, they’re good. Here he goes against the Torii HunterPeter BourjosVernon WellsHowie Kendrick Mark Trumbo-led Angels.
Chris Narveson – There’s a chance this start may not happen, but if it does against Colorado… Keep on pushing my love to the borderline…fantasy baseball starters.
Stephen Strasburg returned yesterday in case you’re living under a rock that doesn’t get the MLB package. Reminds me of a line Selig uses on his wife, “Hey, baby, wanna see the MLB package?” What can I say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before? That he stinks. That hasn’t been said before. It’s also not true; probably why it hasn’t been said before. He can translate Pig Latin into Ancient Sumerian. That’s never been said before. Also, not true, but whatevs. If Strasburg is available in your league, I’m guessing you’re in a ten team league where it’s you vs. nine alias you made up. Hey, whatever it takes to win, right? But if he’s available, grab him. I imagine he’ll be fine this year if a bit more hype than is actually warranted. I mean, in roto leagues, is he really changing your ratios that are from 1300 innings with twenty of his own innings? No, probably not. Oh, and he threw five shutout innings in last night’s game. Yeah, he’s good. Well, that’s been said before. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we jump into the roundup, just wanted to say our fantasy football site has been getting updated, but sometimes when you switch servers (as we did last week), it takes a bit for your browser to clear cache or cookies or something that I don’t fully understand. The site should be up to date now. If it’s not showing a post newer than last week, please tell me in the comments. Thanks, friend. Anyway II, the roundup:
Jason Kipnis – 1-for-3 in his return. Before his hammy/oblique injuries, he was knocking seeds all over the field like an Amish farmer after a 12-pack of Red Bull.
Kosuke Fukudome – When he gets hot, he gets scorching and he now has homers in two consecutive games. Roll out the red carpet! And I’m not referring to Joan from Mad Men.
Carlos Carrasco – Will miss all of 2012 with Tommy John surgery. A representative of the Mayans said, “You ain’t gonna miss anything.”
Shin-Soo Choo – Said he will return on September 13th. I don’t care. I mean, I care enough to not care, if that makes sense. Choo’s hurt me this year! My wounds are fresh! I’m thinking of taking him to small claims court where this Indians middle reliever, who came in after Hagadone, will be presiding.
Fausto Carmona – 1 1/3 IP, 7 ER. Seems odd to make a deal with the devil and tell him you don’t need his help after September 5th.
Drew Pomeranz – Will make his MLB debut on Sunday vs. the Reds. So why do you care? I’m not sure. Maybe you’re related to Pomeranz. Hey, Stew Pomeranz, thanks for reading! Pomeranz was a first round pick in 2010 and has a 1.78 ERA in his first 20 pro starts with a big time K-rate. But, and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but, he’s very young and will start his home games in Coors. In deep keepers, sure, take a flyer with him for your bench. Everyone else, I’d let the schmohawk in your league who wears a jersey of a team he doesn’t like to the draft to throw everyone off take the risk. You know, the guy too smart for his own good.
Rickie Weeks – Could return this weekend. Or The Weeknd, if you’re into R&B.
Rick Porcello – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 1 K. You know what Porcello is good for? Inconsistency and no Ks. Sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, Rakim.
Brett Myers – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 6 Ks. Last time Myers had a four-hitter he ended up with a restraining order.
Jeff Niemann – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER. Fellow -mann’s, Jordan and Horace, are none too impressed and neither am I. Frank Herrmann, “Don’t forget me!” Who are you?
C.J. Wilson – 9 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. Remind me to never doubt a reliever turned starter. Seriously, make Kevin Gregg a starter and he’ll have a 2.00 ERA.
David Murphy – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer. The other day I said something like Murphy goes through stretches where he should be owned in all leagues. And that’s me paraphrasing me!
Jon Lester – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks. Now has an ERA of 2.93 on the year and a 1.19 WHIP. Seems like he’s gotten so good that he’s taken for granted and forgotten when the best pitchers in baseball are talked about. Then again, I try not to watch ESPN, where they probably have 30 minute segments during each Sportscenter about Sawx pitchers.
Josh Beckett – Turns out he had an ankle sprain, then he didn’t have an ankle sprain and now he has one again. One thing he definitely doesn’t have is a decisive doctor. Beckett will miss one start and he’s downgrading Al Bumbry’s mint rookie card to a nickel in his baseball card magazine.
Dustin Pedroia – The Sawx scored 14 runs and the Sparky Anklebiter went 0-for-5. Ticker tease!
Marco Scutaro – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs, 2 runs. Now 7 for his last 12. Marco…Scutaro…Just pops up in the most unlikely places (when you close your eyes in a pool).
Mike Leake – 9 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks. He was one out from a one-hitter shutout when LaHair moussed him.
Bobby Parnell – Gave up 2 runs as he blew the save, but the Mets went on to win the game. Doesn’t it seem that when a team rallies after a blown save that the team is less inclined to worry about the closer blowing the game originally? Maybe it’s just confirmation bias. (<–Thanks, Psych 101!)
Jorge Posada – 1-for-3 with his 13th homer as Jesus sat, which is nowhere near as hip as Jesus walks.
Brett Gardner – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer and 43rd steal for the slam & legs. He’s obviously nowhere as valuable as Ellsbury this year, but I still have my delusions that he can be one of these years.
Jake Peavy – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks. That looks like the Peavy of old… Oh, I know. He was facing the Twins in the Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome.
Alex Rios – 1-for-4 with a homer and he’s batting .455 in the last week. If he got hot for the final three weeks it wouldn’t shock me. Whatever he can do to pull the wool over people’s eyes for next year he’ll do it. I can see it now. Random Commenter in March, “Hey, Grey, what do you think of Rios? While he was one of the worst players and human beings for five months, he was good last September.”
Jason Motte – Salas pitched in the 7th inning and Motte got the save. The closer role has been clinched!…Then Motte gave up a run. So I’d look at Motte first, but there’s no way of knowing which way the wind’s going to blow La Russa’s feathered locks.
Ramon Ramirez – Speaking of closers, everyone’s pointing at Sergio Romo and he pitched the 8th inning while Ram-Ram got the save. This is an obviously fluid situation that needs plastic bed sheets.
Dee Gordon – 3-for-5 with his 16th steal. I guess you don’t need steals. Must be nice being like the little Monopoly man with steals hanging out of your tuxedo. Ooh, look at me, I have Boardwalk and Park Place and steals.
Vance Worley – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks. ERA is now 2.86 on the year and his record is 11-1. Good enough to make a Philly fan puke on someone. In a good way.
Brad Lincoln – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Back in June when he was first called up, I made him a Buy. You can look it up! Since then, haven’t really talked about him. He now has a 3.53 ERA in 35 2/3 innings with a 1.18 WHIP and he’s been much better as a starter than a long reliever as the Pirates used him for a bit. His Ks are a bit pedestrian and he grew his beard because some letter written by an 11-year-old. You are your own boss, Lincoln! I could see streaming him for the reminder of the season with the right matchups.
Ryan Doumit – 1-for-4 with a homer. On Monday, he went 3-for-4. Ryan Without-Mitt usually can hit; he can’t usually stay healthy. That’s his caveat for our Latin American readers.
Jose Tabata – Has a fracture in his hand. Or as they say in Brad Hand’s household, a fractured last name.
We have officially come to the overlap week. It happens every year when baseball begins to wind down and the whole affection for drafting takes over with football. You think fantasy baseball websites are watered down, football takes that to a new level. So why go anywhere else but the place where you come for the best fantasy baseball advice? So here is my shameless plug to check out the fantasy football section of Razzball. Guys over there are simply getting it done. So back to the lecture at hand, the playoffs are getting closer and innings limits are definitely coming into play. Pick your battles wisely with starting pitching, start your top 2 guys every start and match up with the other 3-4. Dump anyone you think is questionable or you don’t trust and pick up a reliable RP with good peripherals. So onto the guys who will help you in no innings limit leagues. It’s a rough week as a lot of the low-end guys face-off against good teams. Good luck. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)
ONE START OPTIONS:
8/17
Blake Beavan vs. Tor – Morrow
Fausto Carmona @ CHW – Humber
Brandon McCarthy vs. Bal – Simon
8/18
Luke Hochevar vs. Bos – Lackey
Chris Volstad @ SD – Stauffer
8/19
Rich Harden vs. Tor – Cecil
Mike Pelfrey vs. Mil – Pelfrey
Phil Hughes @ Min – Slowey
R.A. Dickey (@SD vs. Harang, Mil vs. Gallardo) Look past the record. No, not that far. His run support is garbage. He eats innings and hasn’t allowed more than 3 runs in a month. Strikeouts are hit or miss, the “you could do worse” starter of the week.
Danny Duffy (NYY vs. Nova, Bos vs. Lester) Goods are there, they are just concealed by the walk rate. K’s are decent. Two tough lineups this week is not so good. Both teams take a ton of pitches, don’t expect anything longer than 5 innings pitched in either start.
Felipe Paulino (NYY vs. Burnett, Bos vs. Wakefield) Two Royals in the same write up means the apocalypse is nigh. Blah blah blah see Danny Duffy. Has allowed only 4 ER in his last 18 innings, congrats.
James McDonald (STL vs. Westbrook, Cin vs. Leake) Every time I see his name I start humming the Big Mac song in my head. Check the home/away splits as it may sway your decision here. Pickles, onions on a… Likes to give up homers on a sesame seed bun.
Wade Davis (@Bos vs. Bedard, Sea vs. Pineda) Well worth the extension he signed. Yeah, and I look good in my wife beater from Marshalls. The ideal guy you want your opponent for the week to pick up. Just don’t tell him I said so.
Josh Collmenter (@Phi vs. Lee, @Atl vs. Hanson) I jumped off the Pirates ship and landed in the desert. So he regressed some but he wasn’t a high 2 ERA guy anyways. Matchups look rough, I would prolly visit this destination with no other options.
Randy Wolf (LA vs. Lilly, @NYM vs. Capuano) Pitching a lot better. Prolly was dropped three or more times this year. Take advantage when the season’s time is getting thin. A start from a winning team is a pretty nice option to have.
Guillermo Moscoso (Bal vs. Bergesen, Tor vs. Mills) I like Bill. Great matchups, decent stuff, low BAA, 2 home starts… Shall I keep going or do you get my point? Si or no si?
Henderson Alvarez (@Sea vs. Pineda, @Oak vs. Gonzalez) Besides coincidental stuff that dictate a pitchers worth from week to week. I love me some groundball pitchers. Has 3 above average pitches and pitches in the mid 90’s, more of pitch to contact than swing and miss guy.
Mike Leake (@Was vs. Detwiler, @Pit vs. McDonald) Freak-A… Yeah, you thought you would get through this week without a Petey Pablo reference, you thought wrong. North Carolina come on and raise up… Okay, I’m done now. I swear. An underappreciated ERA under 2 for the last 5 starts.
The week before the MLB trade deadline is upon us. This is why we keep a few extra FAAB bucks available. Wish they were good for a happy meal, because those toys always come in handy. With about 6 weeks to the fake playoffs, there is still time to make that last move to steal a few points in categories that your team may be lacking. So stocking up on some starts if you’re behind in innings isn’t always a bad idea. Enjoy the week to come and good luck. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)
ONE START OPTIONS:
7/27
Cory Luebke vs. Ari – Kennedy
Bruce Chen @ Bos – Lackey
Ervin Santana @ Cle – Carrasco
7/28
Chris Capuano @ Cin – Bailey
John Lannan vs. Fla – Volstad
Kevin Correia @ Atl – Lowe
7/29
Josh Collmenter @ LAD – Lilly
Gillon Gee @ Was – Gorzellany
Tim Stauffer vs. Col – Hammel
Freddy Garcia (Sea vs. Vargas, Bal vs. TBD) What year is it? 2001? I don’t get it, no one predicted it. This is why overpaying for pitchers is what drives us all crazy. Yankee lineup makes him sexier.
Brandon McCarthy (TB vs. Price, Min vs. Pavano) Still building innings since return. Home ERA is tiny — 2.33. Good buy low guy, as he was prolly forgotten about for awhile.
Chris Narveson (CHC vs. Dempster, Hou vs. Myers) A Smokey fave, guess all my trashing is starting to get to him. 5-2 with a 3.80 ERA at home this year. Second half stunner last year, maybe it’s the start of something magical. Yeah, I said magical.
Rubby de la Rosa (Col vs. Nicasio, Ari vs. Saunders) K’s are nice, but anyone actually seen the Dodgers offense lately. Yeah, they score as much as the US women’s soccer team do on penalty kicks. What, too soon?
Andrew Miller (KC vs. Duffy, @Chw vs. Humber) Match-up with Duffy, first one to 6 BBs wins. Still like the chances of that lineup thwarting anything, peripherals be damned. We want wins. WINS, I say.
Dustin Moseley (Ari vs. Saunders, Col vs. Nicasio) Insert random Padre home start colloquialism. Still gets garbage run support. May not have a bullpen by Sunday to back him up.
Nick Blackburn (@Tex vs. Holland, @Oak vs. Moscoso) Lack of K’s makes him very unattractive. Only allowed one ER in last 2 starts. Name still sounds like a rash you contract on spring break.
R.A. Dickey (@Cin vs. Leake, @Was vs. Marquis) I thought first name initialed guys only wrote books. Only 1 win in last 8 starts, with a 3.38 ERA. Better pitcher on the road by a whole run.
Joe Saunders (@SD vs. Moseley, @LAD vs. De La Rosa) If effectively mediocre was a tier for starting pitchers, he would be the Sy Sperling of it. Hasn’t allowed more than 3 ER in last 7 starts. ERA just a tick above 3 on the road.
Mike Leake (NYM vs. Dickey, SF vs. Bumgarner) The much anticipated Leake-Dickey matchup. Who will win? Depends.
I contemplated picking up Lonnie Chisenhall for about as long as it takes me to eat a pupusa from my neighborhood El Salvadorean lady that has different hairnets to match her camisas. About 12.7 seconds. I’ll risk indigestión for those cheesy-pork flapjacks of wonderful. At the waiver wire, I was like, “So many rookies have come up — rookies with great pedigrees — and they’ve been pretty yawnstipating– Screw it, he has 3rd base eligibility.” In Arizona this spring, Rudy and I took in an Indians game and saw Chisenhall firsthand. He impressed us with his hitting — seemed like a bona fide mollywhopper — and was one of those guys we felt would make an impact in 2011. This year in Triple-A, he has 7 homers in 64 games and 17 homers in 117 games last year in Double-A. He may not hit for much average, and could be off some of my mixed teams in a few weeks because his power doesn’t immediately appear, but I’ll risk indigestión for some rookie nookie upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mat Gamel – The Brewers recalled him. According to Rudy’s Point Shares, Gamel is a league replacement value 3rd baseman in a 12-team NL-Only league at 26/7/30/2/.256. The camera pans to Gamel for his reaction and he’s fumbling his drink. What a klutz. McGehee doesn’t have the corner locked down quite like Marlo Stanfield, but Gamel will probably only be up for a week during interleague. If Gamel hits like a beast as he’s done in Triple-A this year — 17 homers in 75 games — he could stick around. Or if the Brewers move back to the AL, which seems less likely. He’s worth an immediate pickup in all deeper leagues for a shot of adrenaline to your fantasy baseball heart.
Zach Braddock – Back up too. Hopefully the Brewers will stop hitting the snooze button on his season.
Jhoulys Chacin – 5 IP, 6 ER. You can blame the wind blowing out if you want, but I blame me for jhinxing us. Sorry, feel free to replace my name with your favorite curse word.
Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-4 and his 11th and 12th home runs. He’s actually not far off his 1st half last year, but his 2nd half was predicated on everything breaking right, so I still think he falls somewhat below his huge year in 2010.
Carlos Pena – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 homers. Sticking with the newly-established Carlos theme, Pena is now up to 16 homers. Can set your watch to his 32-35 homer, low average season, assuming you have a watch that keeps fantasy baseball time. Dork!
Aramis Ramirez – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 home runs. His stats: 29/8/37/.289. Ryan Zimmerman’s stats: 11/3/11/.244. What’s that? There’s been like 3 good players in the first two rounds of fantasy drafts this year? Yeah, I know. Pardon me while I go pour some McDonald’s coffee on my lap.
Max Scherzer – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks. Now that’s not that sour, Kraut, as he struckout his season high last night vs. the Blue Kays.
Jonny Gomes – 1-for-3 with a homer. Since I told you late last week he gets crazy hot for no apparent reason, he’s hit two homers in the last four games. Wigginton may be the mayor of Hot Schmotatown, but Gomes is a newly-elected sheriff. Or seriff.
Brandon Phillips – 4-for-5, 2 runs and 2 RBIs. Hitting .299 on the year, but his power (6 homers) and speed (4 steals in 7 attempts) have been pretty pedestrian so far this year. He probably just needs a wake up call from me, which usually involves me singing Kelis’ Milkshake at 7 in the morning.
Mike Leake – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’m not a huge Leake fan. Tends to give up around 3 to 4 runs per game without the Ks. Than, but no thans.
Chris Perez – Hey, look a Putz in a Perez sandwich. Better than seeing a Putz in Perez Hilton. Oofa!
Asdrubal Cabrera – 2-for-4 with his 13th homer as Orlando Cabrera also went deep. It’s a Cabrerathon!
Mat Latos – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks. He’s been good but far from exceptional. Still don’t trust Latos to be exceptional this year, which hurts me to say because I do enjoy hodgepadres. I’ll be back in next year as I practice my Saberhagenmetrics.
Mike Morse – 2-for-4 and his 15th home run. Did someone send him the message that I called him a sell last week? Or do I need to write it in dots and dashes?
Adam Kennedy – 1-for-4 with a homer. Not to rag on a guy that just homered, but the Mariners hit Adam Kennedy third as the DH in interleague. It’s like the M’s are the NL team.
Brian McCann – 3-for-4 with his 14th home run as he bats .307. It took three years of me ranking McCann first for catchers for it to finally make sense.
Brandon Beachy – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks. I have nothing to say other than I’ve been telling you to own him since March.
Jonny Venters – He actually did not pitch yesterday. Crazy!
Jordan Walden – Thoreau’s favorite closer registered his 6th blown save via a 2-out HR to Danny Espinosa. Can anyone find a reliable closer in all of the greater Los Angeles area besides Kyra Sedgwick?
Scott Downs – I’d grab Downs, in the non-perverse way, if I were speculating on Walden being removed from the closer job. I don’t think it happens, or for long if it does. Though Walden has blown three straight saves, so there’s that.
Jonathan Broxton – Headed for an MRI. Looks like I altered my Toni Braxton, “Braxton Rules” t-shirt for nothing. BTW, the MRI is being administered by Dr. Neal ElAttrache. Not sure why, but the doctor’s name made me giggle. “Say aaahhh…And look deep into my dark-as-midnight eyes while I put my hair into a ponytail. I am Dr. Neal ElAttrache. I will now check your tonsils with my tongue.”
Chad Billingsley – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. Nothing wrong with Billingsley a little hideous Twins offense can’t fix. Do not resuscitate the Comatose Twins Fan.
Tony Gwynn – 4-for-6 with 2 steals. On Sunday, he went 3-for-5 and I was going to mention him in the roundup to tell you to grab him if you need steals. Damn! He would’ve been a nice play on a short schedule day. Damn! Damn! Only other thing that can generate that kind of electricity is a bolt of lightning. A bolt of lightning!
Matt Kemp – 4-for-5 with his 22nd home run. In honor of Kemp’s year, I’d like to sing a little song, “As long as there’s the two of us… We’ve got the world and all its charms…And when the world is through with us…We’ve got each other’s arms…” I love you, Matt Kemp.
Trent Oeltjen – 4-for-4 with a home run. He has some mild pop and speed and might see time for the next week while the Dodgers play in AL parks. And, to impress your friends, Oeltjen is pronounced like Meltjen. (But if you have friends impressed by that, you might want to reconsider your friends.)
Dodgers – Filing for bankruptcy protection. I never understood why they were called the Dodgers. What were they dodging? Now I know…the bills!
