Kevin Youkilis, the Greek God of Back Pain, is off to the DL.  Yesterday, Ortiz took a boot to the foot and today this.  The Sawx are officially in rest up for the playoffs mode, which is great for all the pasty-faced Sawx fans, but it’s not great for fantasy.  So far this year, Youuuuuuk has 17 homers in 395 at-bats while batting .266.  So that means, if he were healthy in September, he’d give you some runs, RBIs and 3 homers.  I just popped a zit into a mirror and the puss read, “Whatever.”  You can find a replacement for Youk on waivers in most leagues.  So put on your Burger King crown you stole from some kid, open up your fantasy waivers and replace him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ryan Lavarnway – Was called up.  Stephen just went over his Lavarnway fantasy.  He wrote it while throwing darts at a picture of me.  Lavarnway is worth noting because he hit 30 homers between Double- and Triple-A this year.  Now, rookie catcher is a tough position to be in.  Ask any recently incarcerated felon.  But Ortiz and Youk are both out, so Lavarnway will see everyday time at DH for the time being.  This is great news since he’s catcher eligible.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You’ll have to excuse me; I’m a bit hoarse after a weekend in Vegas, so don’t ask me to yell.  All caps are just too much right now.  I’m not sure where I lost my voice.  May have been during our spirited game of Pai Gow Poker.  What was I doing playing $15 hands of a game where I literally just turned my cards over so the dealer could tell me how to play them?  It’s the free drinks, ya’ll!  About eighty dollars worth a free drinks to be exact.  Oh, and Ubaldo was pitching a no-hitter and Pai Gow Poker had the best seats in the house.  I think even the three 70-year-old Asian ladies at the table with us were into it by the ninth.  Hair’s to you, Ubaldo!  Either way, I’m spent so I’ll have to keep my enthusiasm on simmer for now about Ike Davis.  Let’s start this mofo with what Stephen said in the Mets’ Minor League Review, “After hitting zero home runs in 215 at-bats in 2008, doubters began questioning his “raw power,” but failed to consider an oblique injury.  Splitting time between High-A and Double-A, Davis flat-out raked.  Not necessarily the most polished hitter, he still has some work to do with his swing and strikeout rate, but he should continue to hit for power as he keeps a decent rate of balls in the air (42.8 FB%).”  And that’s me quoting Stephen!  In nine games in Triple-A Buffalo, Davis has two homers as he hits a robust .357.  Not to be confused with the girls in Vegas, who are mo’bust.  The Mets are calling up Davis in the next week.  Do I take a flier on him in 12 team or deeper mixed leagues?  Certainly.  Do I expect the 2nd coming of Hayzeus Cristo?  Nope.  But if he hits in first few games, his value will go sky high and you’ll be able to trade him for more than he’s worth.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Mike Jacobs – Designated for assignment.  That assignment is to “stop sucking.”

Derek Jeter – Will return on Tuesday after missing yesterday’s game with a head cold.  Good to see he’s quickly on the mend because a head cold sidelined Greinke for a year.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On his way to The Stadium That Jane Fonda Didn’t Receive In The Divorce Settlement, Jason Heyward ordered his chariot driver to the side of the road so he could wrestle a wildebeest.  Suicide mission or pregame ritual?  Doesn’t matter.  With nary a scuff to his gladiator sandals, he escaped unharmed.  With the wildebeest head shipped off to PETA, Heyward arrived at the game, went 2-for-5 and hit a home run.  No doubt, he is the greatest player since RBI Baseball’s Darrell Evans.  After the game, Heyward said, “What game?  I was commissioned by Al Gore to form cloud cover.”  Consider Heyward a 80/20/80/.280/10 guy.  If someone offers you better than that, take it.  If you’re in a league where someone gives you a top 50 player for him, you’re in a sucker league.  And you better beat those suckers.  Remember, Jordan Schafer hit a home run on Opening Day last year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nate McLouth – Hitting eighth.  He did hit .010 in the preseason, but I think Cox comes around on him.  Could be a nice buy low situation.  Then again, I’m not a huge fan of McLousy, so I need to stop touting him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jorge Posada’s going to hit 161 home runs (accounting for one rainout, of course), Granderson’s going to win the MVP and Big Papi still sucks.  Oh, and Beckett’s record will be 0-25-1. Yes, a tie.  My crystal ball doesn’t lie, don’t second guess it.  Spring has sprung and baseball’s back.  It’s a good time to be alive.  The flowers smell different, don’t they?  They smell like hot dogs.   Right now, I feel like putting some endangered Chilean sea bass on the grill, an Olde English in an oversized cozy and kicking back for the next six months while the sounds of baseball dance in my head.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s always good to look at spring training numbers to give you an idea as what to expect from guys for the season.  They’re facing top pitchers who are all displaying their best stuff.  No one needs time to get warmed up.  No one’s trying new pitches or getting a feel for the ball.  They are at the height of their game in March.  In fact, I think someone should propose to Bud that the World Series could easily be played in March.  Yes, The March Classic.  I like how that sounds.  Since these spring training numbers mean so much, I decided to look at the top slugging guys in March:

Corey Hart – Leading the charge with slugging at .976.  Obviously, no night games and wearing sunglasses is a recipe for success.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I already did the catchers, 2nd basemen, shortstops, 3rd basemen, outfielders and starters to target for 2009 fantasy baseball.  I skipped the 1st basemen on purpose because I don’t think you should be taking a flier on 1st basemen.  You need some anchors for your hitting.  Then someone commented yesterday asking for the 1st basemen to target and the course of Razzball history was changed forever, like when Marty got into that DeLorean.  I haven’t changed my mind that you shouldn’t be taking a flier on a 1st basemen, but sometimes things are out of your control or you need a corner man or a Utility guy.  This is a supplement to the top 20 1st basemen of 2009 fantasy baseball.  If you’re feeling especially industrious, click on the players name to read more about them or to see their 2009 projections.  Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2009 fantasy baseball:

Chris Duncan – Colby Rasmus has moved above him on the depth charts, but I think Duncan still gets 300 ABs and nears 20 HRs.  Unless LaRussa doesn’t want anyone coaching his pitching staff.  Dave Duncan, “Muahahahahahahaha…” Pause.  Duncan, “And you know that!”

Mike Jacobs – He’ll probably hit .250 and batting in the Royals order will do him no favors, but he could hit 30 HRs and have one of those lucky BABIP years and end up hitting .275.  Though I wouldn’t team him up with a Dunn, Krispie or Uggla-type.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The other day we went over the top 20 catchers for 2009 and today we look at the top 20 1st basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. This was after going over our top 10 for 2009 fantasy baseball and top 20 for 2009 fantasy baseball.  All this can be found in the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings page.  This top 20 list could probably go to 40 and still have worthwhile names on it, so after we go through all the top 20 lists for every position, maybe I’ll add some more.  Is this the 28th day of Christmas or some shizz?  No, I’m just real giving like Bono and Chris Tucker on an Africa trip.  As with the catchers, the first basemen are broken up into tiers.  Also, there’s some guys below other guys that I want more.

Please, blog, may I have some more?