Fantasy Baseball Advice

Armando Galarraga was perfect through 6 innings and, for fantasy baseball purposes, Galarraga has been solid all year, but that could all change by next week. No… Don’t deflate me! (Doesn’t that sound like a Coldplay song? Don’t deflate me… As we soar… Through the clouds…. Like balloons… I love Gwynnie…) Galarraga’s sporting a 3.2 BB/9, 6.10 K/9 rate and a .246 BABIP… Grey, numbers and old people scare me! Please. Okay, I’ll take it easy, but his WHIP should probably be in the 1.35 range vs. 1.20. So a lucky BABIP is disinfecting his WHIP. Masking the potential odor. He’s got a strong offense behind him so he might get his share of wins. Just don’t count on his peripherals remaining purdy. Armando Hammer may be from South America but don’t snort him….he’s baking soda. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Casey Kotchman – 5-for-5. If he doesn’t get some kind of kissing disease again from open-mouthing the rally monkey, this could be the start of a hot streak.

Jeff Mathis – Finally hot again. Only took him two and a half months. Eh, doesn’t matter to you, does it? Not like you need a catcher. You do? Oh, well, golly!

Howie Kendrick – 4-for-5. Okay, some of this Angels hitting can be attribute to a thin Indians pitching staff.

Mike Mussina – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks. 13 Across, Mussina’s season co-hosted by Cathy Lee Crosby, “That’s _________!”

Shane Victorino – HR off Maine. Moves in front of Alexis Rios with his 7th HR.

Carlos Quentin – 2 HRs, up to 26. I know how you feel, it’s all icing at this point. I agree, but say you grabbed (HR-hitting OF who’s on waivers) and traded Quentin for a pitcher. So you have a pitcher and (HR-hitting OF who’s on waivers), who could have the same amount of home runs as Quentin from now until the end of the year.  Things that make you say, “Hmm…”

Chipper Jones – If I’m talking about him, what do you think happened? He’s not hitting .400, he didn’t home run… He was injured? Look at the big brain on Brad. Chipper says he won’t need the DL. Instead, he’ll just clog up your bench. Sweet!

Luis Ayala – Remained the 8th inning setup man and managed to tighten Hanrahan’s hold on the closer job by giving up 3 runs.

Jim Thome – HR yesterday. I feel like Thome’s bringing the potatoes and mashing them, but people are still calling him a turkey. In the last month and a half, he’s batted over .320 with 9 HRs and 18 RBIs. If everyone on your team was doing that, you’d be in first place asking for fanny kisses.

Tim Hudson – Elbow tightness, but word on the streets of Hotlanta is he won’t miss a start.

CC Sabathia – So if he gets 8 straight wins, he’s not going to win the Cy Young because stats don’t carry from one league to another. When was this rule put in place? Before the invention of the phonograph? There’s interleague now, you morons! Why are we counting those stats? This “no carrying of stats” can’t even be defended. There’s no one sitting around in a bow-tie (and really all of these baseball elitists wear bow-ties), saying, “By George, Randy Wolf can still win the Cy Young because he was traded within the same league, but CC can’t. We’ve really figured out a way to make our stats matter!”

Ricky Nolasco – He’s been too good thus far to bail this quickly, but he gets the Mets next. He’s either headed for another Zoinks! or a Rebound! I think we’re looking at a Zoinks! (BTW, Rudy picked up Nolasco for this start in our league. Greinke’d!)

Jarrod Washburn – Trade target for the Yanks. Guess they saw the Randy Wolf move by the Astros and didn’t want to be left out.

James Shields – He’s the mother sauce of a great pitching staff. Mother sauce, I tell ya!

Jason Bartlett – Will be activated on Thursday. He’s been on the shelf all month and he still has 18 steals on the year. It was a knee injury though, so use some caution, you.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – Glad I just traded him so he could start to get hot. *sticking hand in blender like Chunk*

Billy Wagner – Got the save. That ends the Smith-Duaner-Heilman-Feliciano Experiment until Wagner’s next flare up. (Two weeks.)

Mike Hampton – Set to join Braves rotation next week. I bet a bunch of you went back to reread that. Mike who? Hampton what?

Adam Dunn – Grand slam yesterday. They should weigh all MLB players in Dunns. Allow me to demonstrate, “Eric Byrnes is a third of a Dunn,” “So Taguchi is 3 Dunn arms,” and “Mike Napoli is 4 Dunn legs and 7 Dunn sausage fingers.”

2008 Spring Training is here. Pitchers and catchers and even some “out to prove something” players are already reporting. It’s a glorious time when absolutely nothing matters. If Pujols strikes out fifty consecutive times in spring training, he can go on to win the MVP. Or maybe he’ll carry that into the season and have an atrocious April. Either way, you can’t tell from spring training. It’s an exhibition. Got that? Good. Okay, time to contradict myself. Here’s some things that actually do matter in spring training:

Jay Bruce vs. Ryan Freel – Don’t think Freel’s going to lose this one. Bruce has hit everywhere he’s been. Rocketing through the minors, but he’s still extremely young. But Josh Hamilton won the starting centerfield job last spring, so you never know. Then again, Dusty’s in town. Bruce is headed for Triple A; you still watch. See what all the hype is about.

Mike Hampton – He can’t strikeout anyone, probably nothing but an innings eater at this stage in his career, but the Braves say he’s their number starter. I say he hasn’t pitched since 2005. This is something to watch in NL-only leagues if for no other reason than to see if Jair Jurrjens gets a chance. Remember every pitcher gets drafted in NL-only, why not grab one on a team that should have a winning record.

Carlos Quentin – He’s already reported to spring training and he wants to play. Shoulder’s said to be healed; hopefully his OBP will be, as well. Throw last year away, it wasn’t indicative of his promise. Why you’re watching? See if he gets the job. Outfield got crowded with Pretty Boy Swisher.

CJ Wilson – It’s being reported that he’s the team’s closer. Saves are predictably saves, so if it’s Wilson, he must be drafted.

Zach Greinke – Harnessing his demons and his fastball towards the end of last year proved fruitful. He’s still only 24.

Pedro Martinez – He’s already reported to spring training and he’s already talking. He insists that his incredible steriods’ era numbers were un-enhanced. Good for Pedro. He’s still old and his body’s frail. Check to see how he looks this spring. He might be a steal on a team that will win a lot of games. Just keep expectations in check – i.e. 150 innings is a gift.

Will be back tomorrow with more things that matter in spring training when nothing matters.