Mike Gonzalez

Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 52 Comments

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Neftali Feliz is now a starter.  Or is he?  Emphasis on the ‘or.’  Or is it on the ‘is?’  You’ll never know!  Muahahahahaha… Yeah, I don’t think Feliz is going to be a starter.  They got to the World Series the way things were, you change that?  Ogando or O’Day or Oliver or… What’s with the O names?  Here’s a sneak peek of a post title for the first game one of these schmohawks blows a game, “Rangers Say O’Shit.”  Any the hoo!  Washington has said he likes Feliz getting the final three outs.  I think Washington gets what he wants, but I suppose anything’s possible.  For that reason, I’m dropping Feliz down the closer ranks.  The other big loser since the last closer look is Drew Storen.  I think he should be the closer, but the Nats are hesitating about calling him the closer.  If he secures the job, he’ll move back up the charts.  For now, he has some risk.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 54 Comments

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Aw, sookie.  Our first look at all the closers for the 2011 fantasy baseball season.  That is a bird on your window and it’s singing Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.  I went over Kevin Gregg signing with the O’s when it happened and Putz to the Diamondbacks.  I didn’t go over Frank2 signing with the Jays, but he’s the closer and that’s all I’m saying on that for now.  I have bigger fish to fry in this intro, The Rays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Middle Relievers for 2011 Fantasy Baseball

| 2011 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2011 Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 66 Comments

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The 2011 fantasy baseball rankings are just about in the bag, but first we look at the top 20 middle relievers for 2011 fantasy baseball.  No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks.  Chillax.  The only people that seem to pay attention to middle relievers are those that play in a Holds league.  That’s wrong, I tell ya.  A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff.  (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.)  Say you had Scott Baker last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Daniel Bard.  With just Baker, you had the 4.49 ERA dump to clean up.  With Bard and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.71 ERA.  If you also carried Matt Thornton, you had a combined 3.51 ERA.  Not to mention, you had 11 vulture saves.  Oh, and your WHIP went from Baker’s 1.34 to 1.20 and had an additional 157 Ks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 108 Comments

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In September, closers either mean everything or they mean nothing.  You either really need closers to catch the next nearest guy in saves or you have too much ground to make up and you’re secure in your standings.  If you fall into the former category, I’d grab anyone I could to get saves.  Hello, Juan Gutierrez, would you like to dance?  If you fall into the latter category, you can either start dropping brain freezes –  Joel Hanarahananananan, we had a terrible time together and now I will drop you.  Goodbye.  –  or just bench your lower tier closers to avoid getting Kazaam’d.  I’d only drop a closer if I knew no one could catch me in saves or if it were strategic.  For instance, I’ve been known to drop a closer because I know the guy with the high waiver claim can get him and catch the guy in front of him in saves, which will help me in the overall standings.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

Picking Up This Minor Is Statutory

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 83 Comments

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Almost a 11 K/9 in the minors is, uh, Mike Minor.  He major, Kanye.  I hope Roberto Kelly doesn’t come back to visit the Braves because when R. Kelly sees a minor, urine trouble!  So should you play some Gary Glitter if you’re lusting after this Minor?  In 118 2/3 IP this year, he has 144 Ks and 44 walks.  Hello, beautiful.  Want me to continue?  Of course you do.  You’re greedy.  In Triple-A through five starts, his ERA is 1.99 while rocking a .171 BAA.  He probably only has around 7 starts left in his arm this year before the Braves shut him down, but that’s all right, no one has many starts left.  Minor’s a must grab in NL-Only and keepers.  In mixed leagues, I’d grab him for his first start vs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 144 Comments

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Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny.  It’s the bullpens, ya’ll.  Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt when he tried to get the A’s replacement closer in his fantasy league.  That’s a true story in opposite world.  On the top of the rankings, Wagner made himself a $12 Salad.  On the bottom of the rankings, I wanted to move Chris Perez into the Donkeycorns, but he needs more time in the role first.  He’ll be a Donkeycorn by September.  Mark my words!  But don’t mark them on your computer, that doesn’t come off.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Morrison Breaks On Through

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 211 Comments

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Logan Morrison played at the same community college as Albert Pujols.  That’s two more MLB players than Middlesex County College or MC-squared as we called it.  Let’s look at what Stephen wrote about Morrison, “Blessed with a balanced, flat swing with plus-power, and the organization’s best plate-discipline…  The only thing more exciting than Morrison is pasting copies of Grey’s photo to a dartboard and piercing his eyeballs.”  Hmm… Hadn’t read that last part before.  A rookie with good plate discipline and power is really all you need to know when considering a guy for keepers.  Own and own now.  So is it time to get on board the LogaMotive in redraft leagues?  As a disgruntled horse would say, “What the hey?”  When met with choosing between upside and a random schmohawk outfielder behind door number three, you go with upside.  Just don’t crazy and drop anyone too valuable.  I imagine Morrison will lose some playing time to Bonifacio and might struggle in the beginning.  Conservatively, I’ve give him 8 homers and a decent average.  The upside is obviously there and if he hits out of the gate, his name value will provide more than his actual worth on the trade market.  A lot depends on if the Marlins take it fast or slow with LogaMo.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jason Bay – Out with a mild concussion.  This would explain a lot if it happened in March and was just discovered.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Manny’s On Ice Decalf

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 212 Comments

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Manny Ramirez will miss at least three weeks with a significant strain of his calf.  If he had four teats, he could be a cow.  Manny’s been dealing with this calf problem since April.  His “doctor” gave him some “fertility” medicine, but Selig and his “rules.”  Now Manny has an aggravated calf and impotency.  I hope you’re all happy.  I’d DL Manny if I owned him.  If you don’t have room, I’d just lose him.  You guys will see each other again because you love Manny.  Otherwise, I’m not sure why you owned him to begin with.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jonathan Broxton – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  Returned to the role of closer only to get taken out mid-inning because Don Mattingly inadvertently went to the mound twice.  A mustachioed Mattingly would’ve never made that mistake.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sometimes Nolasco Means Yeslasco

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 281 Comments

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Member when you drafted Ricky Nolasco in the preseason?  You guys had high hopes for each other.  You figured he’d strikeout 200 in, like, a game and he thought you’d change your boxers occasionally.  You thought he’d have a low 3 ERA.  He thought you’d stop hiding your bitten fingernails behind the couch.  Three months later, there’s been some disappointment.  There was an abuse of trust.  He’s currently showing a 4.55 ERA and a lower K-rate than usual.  You’re wearing the same boxers with lobsters on them, trying to convince yourself those are butter stains.  Conservatively, in the top 100 for the 2nd half, I gave Nolasco a line of 4-4/3.60/1.20/90.  In 2008, his 2nd half line was 5-4/3.29/1.00/98.  In 2009, 7-2/4.39/1.13/105.

Please, blog, may I have some more?