Mike Fontenot

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Pickled Haren

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 99 Comments

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Dan Haren got the win yesterday, but his line was 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners and 5 Ks.  Did he see his shadow in Spring Training and now think spring w0n’t start until August?  Someone inform this young brother it’s the pre-All-Star Break.  Ergo, therefore, vise a vie, he’s supposed to be pitching well now.  He only has about a month before he turns into summer squash.  Right?  Well, what if he pitches well in the 2nd half this year?  I know, it’s crazy talk from a guy that pees into milk bottles.  So far this year, he has his best K-rate of his career.  He has the 8th best K-rate in the major leagues.  He also has the 2nd best K/BB in all of baseball.  Just behind Roy Halladay.  At his current rate, Haren would have his worst ERA since his first half year.  That shizz doesn’t add up.  Striking out people, not walking people and a terrible ERA?  I know the 2nd half Boogie Monster scares Haren pretty good, but I think he might be able to fight the 2nd half terrors this year if his luck just evens out a little bit.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Dana Eveland – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 0 Ks.  Has a K:BB ratio of 21:29, which looks like a Roland Emmerich film.  Both are terrible, by the way.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Josh Hamilton Succumbs to Jones

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 284 Comments

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Hmm… Let’s see, where does the news that Josh Hamilton is headed to the DL go on the Hype Cycle?  Oh, wait!  I know!  “Falls Back to Earth, Hits the DL.” Call me, Greyvoyant!  Hamilton may be headed to the DL this Thursday if he’s still in pain.  This is obviously bad news for Hamilton owners.  As we learned from Dylan McKay’s battle with drugs on 90210, addicts can’t take pain killers.  So Hamilton is in “extreme pain” and needs to let it subside on its own.  I don’t think he’ll be out much longer than two weeks, but I’m no doctor (I am psychic though).  If Hamilton’s rib becomes a nagging type injury that bothers him for a few months, this could turn into a Def-Con 4 situation and his owners may have to jump into an Andromeda Strain decontamination shower.  For those out there with alligator blood, this may be your only opportunity to Buy Low on Hamilton.  Just remember his owners were crying in their soup last night, don’t blow on it for them.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edwin Encarnacion – Looks like his chip on his shoulder has moved to his wrist as he heads to the DL.  I liked Edwin going into the year, and was bummed to see him do nada, nada, not a damn thing this season.  At least the wrist injury explains what was going on with him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sox Put MI in MRI

| 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 27 Comments

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Then one day Jed was hopin’ he could start; and Lugo and Scrappy Doo started fallin’ apart.  This is an opening for good ol’ Jed.  The kind to keep those taking late MI fliers fed.  Said Yawkey is the place you ought to be.  So he packed up his Wii to play with Papi.  Ortiz, that is.  Jed Lowrie is in, Julio Lugo is out and Nomar Garciaparra is so five minutes ago.  Yo, whaddup, double play pardner?  Not your knee, I assume.  And the Jed Lowrie fantasy sleeper post is back on like Donkey Kong.  Sure, the Sox are saying Julio Lugo may only be out a month, but he was ‘healthy’ last year and he lost playing time.  Do the math!  Anyway, here’s some more things I saw in spring training that pertains to fantasy baseball:

Dustin Pedroia – Man, I’m telling you right now (unless you’re reading this sometime in the future.  Damn you, Future Boy!) if Dustin Pedroia sheets the bed this year, I’m going to milk that carton at least once a week and twice on Moosday.  During the WBC (World Backups Championship?), Pedroia came up lame due to a strained muscle near his rib cage.  For those of us playing fantasy baseball that have never seen a “hitter” “hit,” strained muscles near the rib cage can cause pain when a batter swings.  If Pedroia is fine fine, he bounces back with no ill effects and still hits his 15 to 18 home runs.  Now what if Pedroia is not that fine fine?  Say he only hits 12 to 15 home runs.  Do you see what a waste of an early pick Pedroia could be?  You really want a 2nd round pick that might hit 12 home runs and steals 15?  Who are you, Kelly Johnson?  That’s giving me The Gas Face just thinking about it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Fuentes and DeRosa, 2009 Fantasy Implications

| 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Hot Stove Rumors | 37 Comments

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Brian Fuentes heads to the Angels, confirming some suspicions I had. The guy at Subway spit into your tuna? No, those weren’t suspicions, that was *spooky voice* paranoia.  While so many fantasy baseball ‘perts were appointing Arrendondo the closer of the Angels right after the K-Rod departure, I had my suspicions it was a bit premature.  Why couldn’t Scot Shields take over as the closer, I thought?  (Yes, when I think I do it in a Yoda-syntax.

Please, blog, may I have some more?