Yesterday, Lucas Duda went 3-for-5, 3 RBIs with two homers (26, 27). He now has five homers in the last three days. Duda goes from doodie to Duda in the blink of an eye. He’s like a sports car that goes 0 to 60 in five seconds flat that you only drive three times a year, because, while your penis may be small, you’re also reasonable enough to realize if someone crashes into you, you’re going to cry and that’s embarrassing in front of your future trophy wife. It seems like no matter how many games Duda misses and no matter how deep his slumps get, he gets scorching hot at some point and will get to thirty homers. His hot streaks are shorter, but he reminds me of a poor man’s Chris Davis. I will call him Piss Davis. Maybe I won’t call him that to his face. Somehow, Duda is available in over 40% of ESPN leagues. (Though 85% of leagues are abandoned already so he’s owned in 125% of leagues. Hmm…) So, if he’s out there, grab him before he takes the car back into the shop and pays $54,000 for a new taillight. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I said it last week and I’ll say it again, if you’re still reading our DFS content at this point in the game, then you most likely had yourself a profitable season. Congrats and come on into the comments and brag about your successes. Let’s see if we can finish off the season on a high note and maybe win a little extra spending money before the holidays. Also, if you’ve done well this season (Over $600 in winnings) you’ll need to set a little aside for taxes, you know, if you’re into paying those.
Now, come sail away with me to Arizona. Don’t worry, it’s a “dry” heat. Once we’re there, we’re going to check out Robbie Ray. Ray checks in with a very affordable $6,900. Let’s face it, he’s affordable because he isn’t really that great, but, and it’s a big but, he’s got a couple things going for him. Well, he’s got one thing going for him and that’s his opponent. The Rockies are such a beautiful disaster away from Coors field, that they can make even make the most mediocre pitcher look amazing. Away from home, the Rockies have the lowest team OPS in the majors, about 50 points below league average as a matter of fact. Even more in Ray’s favor is his handedness. The Rocks are bottom five in team OPS vs. Lefties. Add this up and you can see a lefty on the road is death on the Coors crew. It makes sense really, their only scary RHB is Arenado. Does DJ LeMahieu strike fear in your heart? Wilin Rosario maybe? I thought not. Ray’s been fairly respectable in his own right. His 3.53 ERA is right in line with his 3.55 FIP and his 8.3 K/9 is nothing to sneeze at. Ray’s biggest issue is being a little WHIP-y at times and that can get him into trouble. I think this match-up really sets up well for him though and he can be a low-priced star for tonight’s slate. Let’s look at a few more potential stars tonight:
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 7 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Zach Britton has a mild lat strain. He hopes to return soon as he’s complained that the loneliness of not pitching is killing him. Britton went on to say, “Bollocks!” Maybe that’s a Briton. Any hoo! Or as a Briton would say, “Tally hoo!” The Orioles haven’t said Britton is shut down, but I highly doubt he closes another game in the next week. Or as a Briton would say, “My Full Monty is knackered. Let’s scallywag over a fag, you donkey arse.” The Irish have fought for independence for the better part of a century, and yesterday they exacted some revenge as Britton went down to an O’Day. Darren O’Day said, “Blarney stone something something potato something something Guinness.” It was hard to understand. I would grab O’Day in every league if you need saves as he’s now converted two in two like Chuck Woolery, and, holy crap, Woolery got old! Have you seen The Voice? His son was on there and Woolery looked like he was gonna turn to dust. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Troy Tulowitzki left Saturday’s game after colliding with Pillar. That was the same way Julius Caesar hurt himself, forcing him out of baseball and into ruling. Crazy what the stadiums were made of that the Romans used to play in. Alas, as Caesar said, “Rome wasn’t built in a day. Those roads over there took seven months! Freakin’ teamsters.” The MRI on Tulo’s ribs and back came back negative, though it was as in: Doctor, “Can you move?” Tulo, “Negative, Doc.” Because what the MRI originally failed to mention was his cracked shoulder blade. He won’t be shaving with that shoulder blade anytime soon! Or possibly playing baseball for two to three weeks, according to the Blue Jays. Ryan Goins is Goins to fill-in, and that’s the Blue Jays’ shortstop comings and Goins! Stay tuned for more fantasy news and reborts coming up after the break. Offscreen voice, “It’s reports, not reborts, you jackass.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yoenis Cespedes went 3-for-5 with his 31st homer and, like, his 12th homer in the past week. Doode’s straight combustible heat. Like a fatty steak on the grilling heat. Uh-oh, I feel my rap altar ego, B-Fire, coming on. Cannot stop the blaze. Like a Scottish sheep, I can’t stand here, I gotta graze. Between Monday and Tuesday is a hidden day called Muesday, between Monday and Sunday is all Grey’s days. I watch a Merchant-Ivory period flick with my piece, because I’m strapped and going through a phase. Shh, it’s my Victorian secret. Whomp, there’s another Yoenis hit. Cepedes is so on-lock it’s like he’s got a hundred legs all stuck in tar pits. For my Def Poetry Jam audition tape, this I will submits. I liked About Schmidt, but why Kathy Bates gotta get out of the tub naked with her flabby– Nah, I need to quit. So, on the year, Yoenis has a line of 93/31/92/.298/7 and is nearly top five for all players on our Player Rater, not just top five outfielders, and, for 2016, it’s going to be real hard to knock him down much past the 2nd round. Unless, of course, the Padres get their grubby mitts on him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cheers to you and yours on this fine Labor Day. And now, cheers to all the hard work you’ve done over this last year and the history of hard work this nation has done. Now cheers to the stretch run of baseball DFS as we wind our way into football season. Now cheers to your hardwood floors that you now seem very intent on seeing up close…wait, are you sleeping? Too many cheers, eh? I can cheers anyone under the table, truth be told, so I’m not surprised. But wanna know what might be a surprise? A Rays stack on a full slate day that’ll feature bigger named bats could be the GPP get that you get to keep peeking at on your phone while you wait for the next brat off the grill. You see, with the horny lobo (or as you call him, Randy Wolf) on the hill and the poor bullpen that resides behind him, Tampa Bay could make Tiger stadium feel like Coors. At the very least, on this day, don’t work too hard on picking your 2B because it should be Logan Forsythe at $4,400. You just don’t look the other way on that price when it comes with the 3rd highest ISO against southpaws on the year. Meanwhile, a hot bat Brandon Guyer at $2,900 is a great OF punt and Evan Longoria gives a lot of upside at his $4,300 price tag. If you ain’t stacking or mini-stacking, swirling players like this into your own personal lineup stew should pay handsomely. But enough about my strange cooking ingredients, let’s move on. Let me sell you on my red hot propane and propane accessory hot takes for this Labor Day DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello! How many of Y’all remember the early 90’s? I don’t mean you were 5 and sort of remember it. I mean you know all the words to Color Me Bad, “I Wanna Sex You Up”, or K7’s “Come Baby Come”. How many of you had a fly honey in high waisted shorts and a fresh perm? Can you bust out a Running Man or the Wop? If you caught even 60% of what I just said this one’s for you. You know for all my overall shorts with the one strap rocking CooleyHighHarmony heads. We’re bringing it back New Jack Style with some of the flyest threads of the early 90’s. Ya heard?
One big change before we go forward, the format of the charts got a little remix treatment here in the two-trey. Yours truly, decided to roll out a different set of wOBA ranks, scrapping the righty/lefty splits and instead looking at the entirety of the second half. This should give you some idea of what offenses are A. Hot and B. Putting it together following any acquisitions they made before the trade deadline. Because who really cares what a team looked like in April or June, right? Should we let our judgement be skewed by first half data if a team has been awful for all of July and August? Hell no! So we made that change for your benefit I’m a giver. The other change is we dropped the k% and added the ERA/FIP/xFIP of each potential two start pitcher over their last 5 or so turns. We did have a couple with under 5 starts total for the season, but it was just two (Zach Davies, and Cody Martin). Once again this is taking a look at the current form of each starter, not how they were pitching two months ago. Ya Dig? Good, well let’s get to it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Fresh off a no-hitter, Mike Fiers is priced at $10,300 today. Are we going to buy into the no-hitter curse, that the following game he’ll get destroyed and prove that the no-no was a fluke? That Phillip Humber perfect game in 2012 always jumps into my head when I see a mid-tier fantasy pitcher get a no-hitter. It was only two months ago that rookie Chris Heston pitched his no-hitter against those first place Mets. Fiers has gone at least 5 innings or more in his last 13 starts. He’s an intriguing option today because first thought is that he’s priced too high just because of last week’s performance. Over his last 13 starts, he’s allowed 4 or more runs just 4 times. In his last 3 starts with the Astros, he’s pitched 21 innings and only allowing 1 earned run. I’m going with the optimistic approach and say that his confidence is higher than ever, and will perform very well today on the road against the Twins. Keep reading and check out some of my other DraftKings’ picks for today.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Fiers threw the first Astros no-hitter by a single pitcher in over 20 years last night and the very first no-no in Minute Maid Park to make his way into the Houston record books, alongside Houston greats such as Beyonce, Dennis Quaid….uh, Rory Gilmore…did I say, Beyonce already? Anyway, even more impressive, the 30-year old Fiers did it against one of the leagues top offenses in the LA Dodgers. You probably wouldn’t have started Michael Fiers unless you owned @#$%ing Michael Fiers! Fiers walked just three batters and struck out 10 in what was also his first career complete game. It took Mike 134 pitches to get through this one, but his stuff seemed to get better as he got deeper into the game. It was his first win with his new team. After struggling in relief in his first appearance with Houston, Fiers settled nicely into a starting role that he will be unlikely to relinquish after last night’s dominating performance. He’s allowed just one earned run in three starts with Houston, with a 19/6 K/BB rate. Fiers struggles with control at times but when he’s on the strikeouts numbers are nice and he can be a very useful fantasy starter. He’s available in over half of leagues and gets the Yankees next week, I’d grab him if he’s out there, he could be a helpful guy to own as the Astros make their run for a pennant.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Marcell Ozuna went 0-for-4 yesterday after being recalled on Saturday. OZUNA glad to be back in Miami. OZUNA miss friends, weather and vomiting unicorn statue in center field. OZUNA promise to hit more powerful home runs. OZUNA fix holes in swing. If need be, OZUNA use cricket bat with flat barrel. OZUNA not sure it called barrel. OZUNA would call paddle. OZUNA hit well in minors, .317 with five home runs in 33 games. OZUNA thought gone longer than 33 games. OZUNA mind like Plato’s cave. OZUNA get confused about linear time. OZUNA think Matrix is documentary. OZUNA take red pill. OZUNA was offered two red pills as his “eye-opener to alternate reality” was “out of blue pills.” OZUNA see pitch in slow motion in 360 degrees. OZUNA say whoa. OZUNA thank you for your time. So, Ozuna’s back and worth a pick up. No, I have no idea what he’s capable of in the final six weeks, other than maybe some power. It’s an upside flyer that’s worth taking in every league. Like blue pill? Yes, OZUNA. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?