Grey and Rudy are letting me run a team for Razzball, and I’m totally pumped about it. See, this is my first venture into the realm of expert leagues or writer’s leagues or whatever the hell you wanna call them and the pressure on a rookie like me is enormous. Grey told me I can only cover White Sox prospects if I don’t finish in the top eight. I feel like Andrew Luck or something… probably bigger than that, actually. Anyway. The auction happened a couple Thursdays ago and my strategy was simple: don’t look stupid. I’m not quite sure if I’ve succeeded in that regard. You tell me. Click here to see the complete auction results.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yoenis Cespedes homered in yesterday’s second day of kinda real baseball played about six hours before I wake up. I wonder where Cespedes is being drafted now. When Rudy and I took our giant beach balls to early March drafts and took Cespedes in a bunch of drafts, he was going cheap. I wonder if now all those other ‘perts are suddenly stepping up because others are excited about him. I wonder if everyone else is a Monday morning quarterback with their advice. I wonder if Yoenis will hit 30 mistake pitch homers. I wonder if he’ll make adjustments and hit for a decent average too. I wonder how this would sound read by Morgan Freeman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training (and real baseball) for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Bartolo Colon – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I almost didn’t write this post because I don’t think you should be looking for sleeper 1st basemen. It’s a no-no that makes my no-no area shrink. Then I got to thinking and then I started watching Chopped, then I took a nap, then I had a snack, then I remembered I was writing a post about sleeper 1st basemen, but forgot why I didn’t want to write the post in the first place so I wrote it. Now, you should not target these guys for your 1st base slot, but you could fill your corner infidel or Utility slot with one of these guys. But, whatever you do, don’t punt 1st base. This is a supplement to the top 20 1st basemen of 2012 fantasy baseball.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Twins aren’t winning. Twins haven’t won all year, actually. You can look it up. They’re 0-for-2011. But Ben Revere wants to steal bases for no reason. I love that. I’d prefer my fantasy players act selfishly and just try to inflate their own value. Maybe that’s lame, but we’re talking about fantasy baseball. We’re not talking about getting chicks with your IROC. When a player tries to inflate his own value, it helps us fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!). With so many players shut down or resting for the playoffs, the best thing we can hope for right now is someone who just wants some stats. Revere is the player. In the last week, Revere is hitting .464 with 5 runs, 4 RBIs and 3 steals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ian Kennedy loves each and everyone. That’s why he gave you 12 Ks yesterday over 8 innings while only allowing one hit. You say, “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. How could he love me?” You remember when you couldn’t find a parking spot at Chick-fil-A last week and you were about to give up when a chicken sandwich fell into the flat bed of your El Camino? That was dropped there by Ian Kennedy. So you tell me he doesn’t love you. You tell me he doesn’t love you when he has a sub-3 ERA over 216 innings. Tell me that. A 1.08 WHIP and 194 Ks, he gives you that too, unconditionally. Tell me he judges you when you try to fashion a belt out of twine. He doesn’t judge you. He loves you. Love him back. I do. As for 2012 fantasy baseball, I’m thinking Kennedy could be a tad overpriced. Yeah, my love just went out the window. His BABIP’s a bit low and his LOB% is a bit high. She says she likes the ocean. I’ll look at him more in-depth over the offseason, but he’s got FIPping problems I need evaluate. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Wily Mo Pena – 1-for-1 with 3 walks. He has a career .303 OBP. That’s like an 80 to 1 shot he can avoid making an out in four at-bats. There must be a kid in a Seattle hospital who really cares about OBP. (BTW, his hometown was the winner of the “Best Town To Substitute Into The Lion King Song” contest.)
Mike Carp – 2-for-4, 5 RBIs and a homer. Now has two homers in the last three games. The one nice thing about playing for a non-contender at this time of year is the collective you has nothing to play for so players can go out and be selfish to prove their worth. Unlike those silly playoff teams saving their players for games that matter.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Luke Hochevar – After high school, Hochevar was selected in the 39th round of the 2002 draft by the Los Angeles Dodgers. To hell with that, he said, I’m going to Tennessee to follow Arrested Development and Tee Martin.
It turned out to be a darn good choice for Hochevar.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Took a few years, but the Twins found out that youth is wasted on the Young as they sang, “May You Stay (Away) Forever, Young.” Yesterday, the Detroit Tigers became the first club to acquire both Meat Hooks. A distinction that I’m not sure other clubs wanted.Please, blog, may I have some more?
And all the pitchers in the top 10, please allow Stephen Strasburg to bump thee. Let’s see what we can say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before. Mikhail Gorbachev’s port wine birthmark on his head is actually Strasburg mid-windup. I don’t think that had been said before.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Carp is hitting .350 since July 1st. (Thereabouts, I did the math in my head. At least I think it was my head. Hmm…) Carp only has 4 homers, but now has two homers in the last 4 games. He’s also hit in 11 straight games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On this episode of Solid Goldschmidt, we have Neil Young performing, “I’ve Been Searchin’ For a Heart of Goldschmidt,” and later the nursery rhyme, “John Jacob Paul Goldschmidt, His Name Is On My Buy List Too,” song by Various Artists. Well, I’m just full of Goldschmidt! Goldschmidt may have Growing Pains but don’t call him Tracey. Okay, breathe, Grey, you got puns… Breathe! Remove the cigarette and put on the oxygen mask — stat!Please, blog, may I have some more?