It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Tulo!” and now you don’t have baseball or your girlfriend. C’mon, calender, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2010.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Francisco Rodriguez was arrested for assaulting his father-in-law. That’s going to make for awkward holidays. Or maybe they’ll skip Christmas and celebrate Boxing Day. Fred Wilpon needs to put some rubber bands in his beard and get K-Rod and Tony “Shirtless” Bernazard into the squared circle. During the fight, Johan was seen comforting K-Rod’s wife. Johan, “She was looking for the changeup, and I went with the heater.” K-Rod will probably miss a few games while he responds to attorney emails. Oddly enough, K-Rod isn’t the easiest guy to handcuff. His backups in no particular order: Bobby Parnell, who I believe is the little black kid from Role Models, isn’t very good, Manny Acosta isn’t much better, Elmer Dessens is the guy who sells fresh corn on the side of the road when you’re driving through a rural town and Pedro Feliciano is related to Pedro Feliz, I think. Frankly, I’d avoid the whole Mets mess. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Miguel Montero – Was a part of a back-to-back-to-back-to-back homer job with Adam LaRoche, Mini Donkey and Stephen Drew as they did work on Bush. Hey, Googlers of back-to-back + Bush. Betcha this isn’t the kind of fantasy site you were looking for, was it? And for those that found us by Googling Donkey + Bush –> I’m kinda skeeved.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Davis is so easy to strike out that pitchers should let him get a 4th or 5th strike like you’d give the small-for-his-age kid in little league. “Good cut, Chris!” Then the parent who needs anger management screams, “It’s on a freakin’ tee! Hit the damn ball!” Davis is also so easy to strike out the Rangers felt like they needed to go out and get someone who is marginally better. Enter Jorge Cantu. Or as I like to call him, the guy I told you to sell back at the end of April when his value was at its highest. Cantu gets a boost in value because he’s now going to be hitting in a lineup with Giant Machine and Hulk Machine, while calling Coors South home. I’d grab Cantu off waivers if I was hurting at my corner infidel spot. Meanwhile, Chris Davis heads to the minors to try and reclaim that glory that had Bill James projecting him for, like, 40 homers and 10 steals. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Kinsler – Back to the DL with a strained groin and could be out until the end of August. Who had July 29th in the ‘Kinsler goes back on DL’ pool? Kinsler’s officially dropping way down in 2011 drafts. He might be the fourth Ranger drafted next year. I smell a sleeper post about him from January Grey. January Grey, “Leave me alone, I’m watching Jersey Shore.”
Brett Wallace – It’s ironic he’s only a 1st base prospect because he’s getting passed around the majors like a trollop who’s been a lot farther than 1st base. For those keeping score, he’s gone from STL to OAK in the Matt Holliday deal, OAK to TOR for OF prospect Michael Taylor (whom Toronto got in the Halladay deal), and now from TOR to HOU for OF prospect Anthony Gose. The book on Walllace is he’s a great hitter with a bad glove (hence the move from 3B to 1B). Now it’s one thing when STL trades a 1B (when they have Pujols) or when Oakland trades a 1B (Billy Beane likes to keep busy) but when the Lyle Overbay-playing Blue Jays trade a 1B prospect one has to wonder. Is something wrong here 0r is the Jays GM, Alex the Greek just opa’ing prospects into the fireplace? Either way, Lance Berkman looks like he’s about to embark on the Casino Bus. If Wallace gets called up, he’s immediately mixed league material. He hit 18 homers in 385 minor league ABs this year. Though it was in the PCL. BTW, this is the longest blurb ever for a roundup. I don’t even remember who I was talking about. Oh, Brett Wallace! Yeah, he can hit, grab him now in NL-Only leagues, deep mixed leagues and keepers, just in case he’s called up.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sounds like Jacoby Ellsbury will be out until the All-Star Break. Break being the key word. The Boston Globe reported that Ellsbury has, “a non-displaced rib fracture and edema in the left posterior-axillary line.” Ribs and edema? What’s that, a fusion Japanese-rib joint? The doctors didn’t find a blooming onion in there? Member in the preseason when I said you could have Ellsbury ten rounds later in Borbon? Borbon has not endeared himself in fantasy owners’ hearts yet, but he’s picking up his game of late, Ellsbury can’t pick himself out of a chair. Gotta hold Ellsbury if you have DL room and hope for a big 2nd half. I do have my doubts though about how well a guy is going to be able to steal, most specifically slide, when this latest injury happened diving for a ball. The good news is if you listened to me, you didn’t draft Ellsbury. Right? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Santana – Getting called up for Friday’s game. Yes, the same catcher the Indians were waiting until August to bring up. Yes, the Indians were messing with you. Where do you think Justin Masterson: Passive Aggressive Fantasy Starter learned it from? As I’ve already said on the blog, I don’t expect the 2nd coming of Mike Piazza. At least not this year. Think about what you got from Matt Wieters last year. Shoot, think about what you got from him this year. If you’re starting Joe Schmohawk at catcher, sure, take a chance on some upside. I think he can give a bit more power than Posey, but they’re in the same ballpark. No, not literally. For this year, I’d give him a .280 average and 13 homers. Actually, I already wrote that. Here’s my Carlos Santana fantasy. In keepers, he should be owned already. If not, grab him immediately.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brian Fuentes hurt himself lifting weights. Can’t he just take HGH like every other freakin’ major leaguer. Hayzeus Cristo, my closer luck has been terrible so far this year. The closerousel has made me really nauseous. Forget SAGNOF, more like CRYNOF, which acronyms to nothing but has “cry” in it. Fernando Rodney is the immediate pickup, but, if your leagues are like mine, he’s gone already. I grabbed Kevin Jepsen where I could for the chance that he might sneak in and grab a save or two. Fuentes says he’ll be back as soon as his DL stint is up, but, if Rodney runs with the job, don’t be surprise to see Scioscia call shenanigans. SABCS — Scioscia Always Be Calling Shenanigans. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kevin Gregg – Officially takes over the closer role. Gregg will probably drop a turd nugget in his next game and lose the job back to Frasor.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Miguel Montero is out with a torn meniscus. I can think of other cuss words that his owners may be thinking right now. A knee problem seems like a bad thing for a guy who’s supposed to be crouching for 9 innings. Like a can’t-Catch 22. Montero was a popular sleeper pick to enter the premium catcher tier of Mauer/Martinez/McCann after a strong 2nd half, but the only thing he’ll have in common is the M factor. It’s unclear if he’ll be out for at least a month or longer. Either way, Snyder now has a full time gig. And that’s about where the good news ends. Don’t get caught up in the Montero afterglow. Snyder has a career .233 average in over fourteen hundred at-bats and averages about 15 homers over a full season of ABs. So, ya know, you can probably do better even if Chris Snyder hit a homer yesterday with 5 RBIs in Arizona’s blowout (last time Arizona scored that much on Pittsburgh was the Super Bowl). Actually, Snyder’s a surefire top 10 catcher if he gets 100 more games against the Pirates. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Frank Francisco – I go about buying closers like I buy wine. I pick up a closer. Swirl it around in my glass, take a quick waft and whiff then I guzzle it. Two Buck Chuck tastes the same to me as a twenty-year-old Bordeaux. In fact, I don’t even know if a twenty-year-old Bordeaux is good. I’m guessing and too lazy to Google it. I’ll drink a red wine with chicken, a Chardonnay with a Nathan all-beef frank. Doesn’t matter to me. Mad Dog 20/20 and ice passes the “cheap and it will get me drunk” test. So it’s only natural I ended up with a bunch of cheap closers. Frank-Frank was one of them. Belch. Frank2 is out for the near future in favor of Neftali Feliz. Could Feliz run with the job and end up having it all year? Yup. Frank-Frank went womp-womp. I wouldn’t drop Francisco yet, except in the shallowest of leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This post is not meant to scream fire in the theater of Razzball. I’m not saying don’t draft these guys. I’m not unfriending them. (I would hide all of their stupid Mafia Wars updates. Okay, quick rant, I have a friend who emailed everyone that he just had a kid. Yay for him, I know. So I emailed him back congrats that the kid doesn’t look like his wife. Then I go onto Facebook and he just won a cannoli or some shizz on Mafia Wars. He just got home from the hospital with his newborn and he’s warring with 12-year-olds hiding behind fictitious Mafioso personalities? Nice. I wonder in forty years if his kid will email me saying his Dad died then start playing an online video game.) I’m just saying you need to be aware of certain concerns that I’ve kept to myself about these players. I’m unburdening myself. My shrink says it’s good for me. I still like these players; I just want you to have the whole picture. Anyway, here’s some concerns for 2010 fantasy baseball:
Miguel Montero – Concern: Snyder. I’m worried that Chris Snyder might see more ABs than anyone thinks he will. Montero sits one game a week? We’re cool. Snyder gets two games a week and suddenly Montero will be lucky to match last year’s numbers, forget eclipsing them.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Went over the top 20 and top 10 for 2010 fantasy baseball. Now, friends, it’s time for the top 20 catchers for 2010 fantasy baseball. The top 20 catchers are the glass of warm milk right before you go to sleep. Hey, I just drafted Jorge Posada! Snooze. I love Kurt Suzuki this year! Yawn. I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues. The fifth best catcher and the 15th best catcher are tomato, to-blah-to. Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Barajas? What’s Spanish for punt? Punta?); some of you might want to know the top catchers. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Napoli. In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them. You can see other top 20 lists for 2010 fantasy baseball under 2010 Fantasy Baseball Rankings. Listed along with these catchers are my 2010 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2010 fantasy baseball:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like yesterday that the baseball regular season started. We frolicked, hand in hand, through the season. You stopped to pick a flower and I said, “That dandelion looks like a French impressionist painting that you can see up close.” Then we giggled and blew the parachute off its stalk. Today, the parachute lands and I’m sad. The regular season is done. As an action movie sidekick once said right before he was about to be killed, “NOOOO!!!” There’s a cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand fed Doritos.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay Bruce has hit four homers in the last four days while hitting over .500 in the last week. Now has 22 homers in only 74 hits with 73 Ks to go along with 3 steals. I never thought Mark Reynolds would steal 24 bases. I didn’t think he had 15 in him. So, don’t take this comparison the wrong way, but Mark Reynolds is lucky he snatched up the Mini Donkey nickname because Jay Bruce looks like he could be headed that way next year. Bruce is still very young, and his propensity to strikeout leaves him vulnerable to big slumps, so I won’t predict a huge breakout in 2010. But he can hit 30 homers and steal 10 bases while batting .250. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Homer Bailey – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks. Now we’re getting to the point where he might actually be touted by the analcysts over at ESPN, which would mean his 2010 sleeper status could be in jeopardy.Please, blog, may I have some more?