Experiments are fun. When I was a youth, we used to play a game called killer UNO. Basically, the gist of the game was don’t get caught with the most cards. Similar to regular ole UNO, but this is where the killer part came in. The loser had to drink a concoction of any four things mixed together from the kitchen. So while you are trying to think of actually how gross that is and the possibilities, let’s look at the strange thing about four things soon to be in Milwaukee… (Including prized prospect Lewis Brinson or soon to be lack there of.) The way he is playing and the imminent return of Ryan Braun from the DL spells one thing: Minor leagues. He is being outplayed by Keon and even twice on Sunday. Subtle Domingo joke folks. So with Braun coming back, the regular a bats are not going to be there. Brinson definitely has the goods, it just isn’t his time. He came up with some SAGNOF promise and basically gave us, to date, 3-for-21, .143 batting average, and one whole counting stat. A steal for all the kids at home screaming it. Cut bait and go in another direction. I get that he has sexy name appeal and can juggle, but in redraft leagues, move elsewhere and see what’s what in a month or two with the Brewers roster and pennant push. In September, he could be a sneaky Dave Roberts type of late game entry with some steal capability. So I bid you fair the well Sir Lewis of Brinson of the Colorado Silver Sox clan. Carry on SAGNOF surfers, let’s see what else is hopping on the good foot to do the bad thing in the thievery department. As always I like to include a chart of some sort, makes it all pretty like…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, here we are gentlemen and five girl readers. Hmm, if I’m one of the five girl readers and I’m writing this [Jay’s Note: You forgot my mother.], does that mean I should only be addressing 4 girl readers? Or should I just stick with 5, since I’m certainly vain enough that I’ll be reading my own work once it’s published? Hold on, is “published” the wrong word since we’re talking about the internet, and does my use of it make me sound out of touch? Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, here we are: week 7! Most MLB teams have played around 40 games now, so we’re about a quarter of the way through the season. Have any owners just flat-out quit in your leagues? In one of my keeper leagues (which of course are a different animal than re-drafts when it comes to punting a season), there were several blockbuster trades over the past weekend… those “in the hunt” have definitely distinguished themselves from those who are “playing for the future”. Meanwhile, I have a few re-draft leagues where some owners are barely setting valid lineups. Does this happen in your league? And if so, do you care?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Such a weird week of Jodie Foster references at Razzball, and we’re only to Wednesday. What will be tomorrow? Joe Panik Room? Okay, raise your hand if you saw Starling Marte being suspended for Nandrolone. The one person raising his or her hand is the person supplying Marte with Nandrolone. Take ’em away, boys! I just made my 2nd imaginary arrest. My first was when I imagined arresting Ben Carson for driving with his eyes closed. This is like Pollock 2016 all over again, except instead of breaking his elbow; Marte broke our trust. As punishment, Starling Marte should get an 80-game suspension or a “We were all rooting for you” Tyra GIF tattooed on his back. I think Gregory Popolanco turned him in, with help from Freese. Adam Frazier will get a regular job in the outfield since the Pirates said Austin Meadows isn’t ready yet. Bee oh oh. Boo. I grabbed Meadows in all mixed leagues for the sheer excitement, but within about an hour I realized Meadows is unlikely coming up until at least June and dropped him. As for Marte, you can likely lose him in most redraft leagues, and, for some of us, we’re having a “Don’t have Marte” party! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When you have to tell people your favorite team’s ace is a 31-year-old rookie, you kinda make a face like Arnold Schwarzenegger right there… It’s as uncomfortable as a dude getting pregnant! But for a rebuilding team, I guess nothing is inconceivable after all!
As an unabashed Brewers homer, and owner of the REL Brewers where I have to own a certain amount from my parent team, I’ve been a big follower of the Brew Crew beat, and there’s been buzz for Junior Guerra ever since we picked him up. I even brought him up on the Pod when he was promoted, much to Grey cackle-ment. I of course never saw anything like this coming though… I knew he had a fastball and a great splitter, but that splitter hasn’t been just “great”. It’s been the best splitter in baseball. His other stuff is pretty good, but he hit 98 MPH in his last start against the Pirates, and if he can throw gas like that, it’s going to make him a dynamic guy ROS. So I decided to double up on my Sunday afternoon baseball watching by breaking down Guerra’s start against the Cubs, while watching my Brewers like I would’ve anyway. Two birds one stone! Sue me! Here’s how he looked:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This Frankencatcher Report was a tough one to write. It began as a piece hailing the return of Evan Gattis and mentioning Blake Swihart as a potential roll-of-the-dice pickup. The Red Sox called Swihart up to get a look in left field when Brock Holt hit the disabled list with what appears to be a pretty serious concussion, as he has now been on the DL for about a month.
But then Swihart ran into a wall.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now that the closest baseball stadium to me is in Anaheim I’m watching more Angels games. Truthfully I’m watching more MLB network, and then Cubs games, and then Angels games. It’s still more than just the Mike Trout highlights I would normally but in any event I’ve seen some of this guy, Jefry Marte. Jefry Marte? Who is that? And why can’t he spell Jeffrey right?
Well this Jefry is seeing time in left field for the Angels, who really stink out there to the tune of an MLB worst .550 OPS (thanks Yahoo!, as that tidbit is on his player page). That is pathetic. So they’re running Marte out there, who is normally a corner infielder. Only 24 years old from the Dominican Republic, which is on the island of Hispaniola (which is such a fun word to say, especially if you throw a lisp in there), Marte has been around in his short career. He originally started with Mets at age 17, played in the Futures game at the 2011 All-Star Game, was traded to the A’s for the not aptly named Collin Cowgill (he’s not a cow at 5’9, 190), and then was released by Oakland after the 2014 season. Signed by Detroit two weeks later, he wound up being designated for assignment so the Tigers could sign Justin Upton (I can’t imagine that Detroit could foresee that Marte would be almost as good so far in 2016 as Upton) and traded to the Angels.
Marte did play in the majors in Detroit last year, hitting four homers in 80 at-bats; this season in limited action he’s hit four homers in 42 at-bats and has an OPS of 1.078; which is good. His 4.5% BB and 29.5% K are not. Those numbers last season on the Tigers were 8.9% BB and 24.4% K. So he looks like a hacker. A power hitting hacker in the same lineup as Mike Trout? Are you sure I’m not really talking about Albert Pujols? No, I’m not. Not even I can recommend Albert anymore. Just think, the Angels get him for how many more years? Five more? And full no-trade protection? Ha!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m back baby! Returned henceforth from thy vacation, and I have no idea if that attempt at Ol’ English made any sense. Now I wanna drink a 40! Which is something Julio Urias can’t do!
So much happens in baseball when you’re gone for two weeks! Well, I was just on vacation for one week, but most of it was without internet. Yeah – rough! First time I’ve done a big vacation like that during the baseball season. Not gonna lie though – kinda worth it for a little break. But alas – we have a lot to catch up on! Like Urias getting a very surprising (to me) call up this early. Sure he was mowing down AAA, but he’s 19 and the Dodgers seemed to go into the year with a lot of pitching options. Then Alex Wood went from scratched (giving Urias his debut in a “spot-start” that went poorly against the Mets) to the DL, so Urias has a shot to stick in the rotation for a bit. With that little bit of extra leash, how would Urias respond in a tough matchup at Wrigley? Here’s how the MLB’s youngest cub fared last Thursday afternoon:Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Saturday, our prayers were answered. No, not the prayer about winning Powerball. Or the prayer about sweatpants becoming the new formalwear. Or the prayer about muttonchops being some magical aphrodisiac. Or the prayer about your mom forgetting that time you accidentally sexted her. Or that prayer about being as successful in real life as you are in fantasy. No, not those. The prayer about Yu Darvish returning and looking as dominant as ever. On Saturday, he threw the fastest pitch of his major league career, throwing three pitches for more than 98 MPH. The line of 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks was solid, but I imagine this will be the start of him reaffirming his place in the top 10 starter conversation. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department sang, “Yu, Yu got what I need…Yu say he just spends Yen…Yu say he just spends Yen…But baby Yuuuuuu,Yu got what I need!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In a world where humans are fed up with umps missing calls and players getting injured … Chappie takes the mound! Some people are preaching for robot umpires, but what about robot pitchers! Wouldn’t you love to have a robot pitcher on your team? Don’t worry about overuse and Tommy John surgery, you just need to grease the elbow joint between innings. And no more hanging sliders when you only up one run in the bottom of the ninth. Okay, the LAST thing we need is another Chappie movie. Let’s talk about the human pitcher J.A. Happ. Humans make mistakes, and many mistakes were made in Happ’s last outing. Happ only managed to throw 2 innings while giving up 8 runs. Luckily for him, he gets to face the Twins today. Nothing says bounceback match up like a lefty facing the Twinkies. Against LHP, they have only 18 runs, 2 HR, a .576 OPS, and 25% K rate. Meanwhile, the Jays get to tee off against Pat Dean, who is unlikely to make it make it into the 6th inning. The Twins bullpen has surrendered 79 runs, 23 HR, .289 batting average, and an .837 OPS. So if the Jays cant get after the 90 MPH throwing lefty Dean, they should be able to strike against the weak bullpen. Twins pitching should easily put Happ in line for the win if he can improve from his last appearance. With Twins inability to hit lefties and their far from fabulous pitching, Happ at $8,100 should be a safe play today. Introducing, Chappie 3: The DFS Guru – Let us find some deals for you today!
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 23rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In what seemed like a meaningless spring training game, Dee Gordon bunted and it landed 12 feet from home plate. The announcer said, “Wow, didn’t think that was going to make it out of the batter’s box” And an investigation began. Dee Gordon, unaware, of the investigation continued to use exogenous Testosterone and Clostebol, two performance-enhancing substances. Later in spring, he knocked a single that fell just out of the 2nd baseman’s reach. That ball, it was said, looked like a 47-footer. It went 57 feet. Another shot, sailed just over the pitcher’s mitt, and just before the 2nd base bag. Gordon raced to 1st, and everyone looked around, “That was a half-a-pede.” That’s baseball jargon for a 50-footer. So, Dee Gordon will be out for the next 80 games, call him The Suspended Splinter. Sure glad I bought him in my Tout Wars draft. Super! What the hell was this schmohawk doing? Who thinks they can possibly get away with using in today’s game? It’s just stupid. This is a break for Derek Dietrich; he should be the 2nd baseman on most days. He has 15-homer pop, and is worth a grab in NL-Only leagues. Look forward to seeing Gordon return in August when his 28-footers go 28 feet again, and he’s back to a .215 hitter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?