“Hey, Intern, let’s get the Mayans on hold just in case we need them in a hurry. What? Who the hell is Ralph Mayan of the Mayan Empire and Grille in Norwalk? Your blank stare tells me nothing. Go buff out my El Dorado while I write this post!” So, I’ve seen The Theory of Everything, the story of Stephen Hawking and his wife. It touches briefly on his theorems and the universe’s push and pull. Imagine the universe breathes in and out. The in is gravity and the out is energy generated by particles. However, the Cubs would breathe in, but when they exhaled it sounded like a wheeze. For over a hundred years, people thought it was dying. That constant wheeze of death. Then, Theo Epstein came along, kicked the Cubs in the ass and realized it wasn’t a wheeze but there was something stuck in its throat. The Cubs won’t breathe easy until they win a championship again, but the signing of Jon Lester should help. Last year, Lester had a 9 K/9 and a 2 BB/9. I just touched on this with the signing of Samardzija the other day, but a difference of 7 between K/9 and BB/9 is about the most beautifulest thing in the world, Keith Murray. For K-BB, Lester was 11th in the majors last year. Top ten is a who’s who that’s more glamorous than your Who’s Who of American High School Students Who Paid $75 To Be In That Who’s Who Book. I’ll give you a little hint: if you were to just draft based on K-BB, you’d win your league. Why is K-BB so important? It’s so basically basic basically basic it’s silly. If you strikeout hitters and don’t walk them, good things will happen. For 2015, I’ll give Lester the projections of 15-9/2.92/1.08/206, which is number one fantasy SP numbers. Yup, he’s going to be solid once again. Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2015 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in August, you screamed out “I love you, Giancarlo!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend. C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2014. It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2015. To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been? Understand where I’m coming from?” It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Please, for the love that all is holy, don’t ask me if this is for next year. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2014 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No, that’s not a racist title. C’mon, really? Why would I go there? Besides, ‘Alfredo The Dark’ doesn’t even sound racist. Actually, sounds like your character name when you go out LARP’ing. Lemme guess, you start with a +5 in magic and wit but are low in power and physical combat. And, duh, you have black magic and not white magic. Am I nailing this? Mmm hmmm, I see your 20 sided die in your hand there. Please tell me it’s at least steam punk genre. Loved the Lord of the Rings but really don’t care if you’re out here battling orcs. Bores me. BTW, have you ever thought about the Civil War re-enactment? Totally LARP’ing there. Yeah, yeah, you’re a history buff. Well then go read the damn book. No need to grow out the handlebar mustache and go clean out your musket to enjoy a little American history…but yeah, what the hell? That got off track fast. I blame you and your talk of tinctures. Nah, I’m just alluding to the childhood fave of anyone not young enough to quote Lil’ Wayne. So basically, nobody’s gonna get it. Show was off and on for like 10 years…shut up, it’s my childhood! Moving on…what I’m trying to get at is, Alfredo Simon has been a bit of a bear to own in regular fantasy but he’s extremely enjoyable for we daily fantasy folk. You see, these young Cubbies…well, if you caught my last Stroman call you’d understand. They’re still learning how to play baseball the right way. Sure, they’re exciting to watch and it’s great to think about the future but most of their veteran bats are done for the year due to injury and what’s left is a group that’s K’ing at an alarming rate: 28.3% heading into Sunday, to be exact. That’s just 2% less than the Twins and they’ve faced Chris Sale this past past week. And in the end, Simon keeps the ball down reasonably well wtih a 1.62 GB/FB ratio so the ball shouldn’t be flying out of the park on him. In the end, this is a bit of a punt play to give room for those 10+ K pitchers because in the end they are worth it this Monday, believe me. Speaking of, let’s move on and get to them, shall we? So without further ado, here’s Monday’s hot takes on the DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check theDFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sorry my Razzball peeps but everybody’s favorite bearded genius J-FOH is hanging with Mickey Mouse today. So while J-FOH does his initiation with these guys, I’m stepping in to pinch hit. Think of me as a super sexy Matt Stairs, only instead of late innings hits I’m dropping Daily Baseball science on y’all! Speaking of daily fantasy science, check out Rudy’s Franken-tool the DFSBot. Why do I call it a Franken-tool? Because it’s a monster!
So now that introductions are out of the way, I have a question. Have you guys seen Adam Wainwright‘s price today on DraftKings? He costs a measly $9,500! For a pitcher of Wainwright’s caliber that’s downright stealing. Which leads me to my next question. What does DraftKings know that I don’t?
On face value I think 1. He faces the Red Sox in St. Louis which means they will be sans a DH. When the Red Sox are DH-less either Mike Napoli or David Ortiz are on the bench. That takes a lot of pop out of an already punch-less lineup. 2. The Red Sox offense stinks to begin with. Take a look at the numbers the last two weeks. They have the second lowest run total, the third highest K%, and the lowest wOBA. So they’re a bad lineup WITH Napoli and Ortiz. What’s worse than bad? Ice Cold! Thanks Andre 3000! Sure they upgraded their offense at the deadline, but Allen Craig just hit the DL and Yoenis Cespedes is 0/4 vs Wainwright lifetime with 3 K’s. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Wainwright is in line for a dominant performance tonight. Expect a minimum of 7 innings of one run ball, with 8 K’s.
To play devil’s advocate, the Wainwright problem on DraftKings lately is his steadily evaporating strikeouts. The K/9 this year of 7.37 is down a full whiff from his norm the last 4 years of 8.25. Even worse, his K/9 was a pedestrian 6.91 for the month of June and a disturbing 4.59 for the month of July. So a question for another time and perhaps another article all together is, where have they gone and will they come back? Well I can tell you tonight’s matchup sets up nicely for Wainwright to return to DraftKing‘s points glory. BOLD PREDICTION – 9K’s, 8IP, 0 runs, 4 hits, 1 BB, AND THE WIN. 37 DraftKings points.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 Teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh, the world we live in today. Computers. Phones. Internet. Baseball followed so adroitly that even the deepest of prospects are owned in NL/AL-only dynasty leagues. It’s a wonder any of the farm kids even have and fun with this kind of scrutiny!
But even with all the stats, all the Moneyballs, all the Jonah Hills… We still get a 27-year-old Cuban starter, who had a 6.85 ERA and unreal 2.03 WHIP in 23.2 AAA innings, allow only 1 ER in his first two MLB starts (with a 70 then 58 Gamescore – see what I did with the title there?!). Part of the fun of baseball – on any given day you just never know! Remember when Phil Humber had a perfect game? Exactly.
For just as hard Odrisamer Despaigne has thrust himself into the fantasy baseball lexicon, just as little is known. I remember seeing his name when he was signed, but that’s about it. Only 3 Ks in these two great starts, but hey – can’t hurt to take a deeper look. Just look at what fellow countryman Roenis Elias is doing, and he had virtually no buzz either. Cubans know what they’re doing on the bump! So I picked Despaigne for this glorious Monday’s PP and broke down how he looked:Please, blog, may I have some more?
David Price is one of the most interesting pitchers right now. Snooze! Okay, Random Italicized Voice, I’ll try not make this too boring. No, I thought I heard an alarm and was yelling for it to snooze. Oh, okay. So– Snooze! You’re not hearing an alarm! Maybe it’s your voice, Random High-Pitched Voice! Snooze! So, Price’s K/9 and BB/9 are at 10+ and sub-1. He should be a top five pitcher with those numbers. It’s not rocket surgery that if you’re striking out ten guys per nine innings and walking less than one guy good things will happen. This isn’t like when your mom says if you’re good to people, good things will happen back to you, cause I’m pretty sure any millionaire will tell you that’s a crock. The odd thing is not enough good things have happened to Price. See, Mom! Price’s ERA is at 3.93 on the year. That couldn’t be further from what is going on. Right now, he’s having the best season of his career from a strictly peripheral sense. This is all happening while his fastball velocity continues to fall. It doesn’t add up like Joan from Mad Men being married to that guy that looks like a young Jeff Goldblum only geekier. As each great start happens like yesterday’s — 8 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks — it’s going to make it harder to buy Price low, but I would. Snooze! Ugh, I hate you. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cause you got a build up of wax in your eyes and haven’t been digesting the non-verbal medicine I’ve been doling out about Khris Davis, he’s getting a lede. This is coming to you from a tough love perspective, so whatever I say I don’t wish to offend or denigrate. Y’all seem like good people. Some of you I would even consider friends. Friends that I’ve never met and friends that when you called me to make plans I’d lie about other plans I didn’t have to avoid you, but friends nevertheless. You all have good souls. Each and other one of you. Now, it’s time to unload on you. Damn, in the middle of softening the blow, I forgot what the blow was. Well, you should own Khris Davis. I know that was part of it. He’s been out-homering Chris Davis. Everyone knows there’s only one way to spell Khris Davis. Spelling it with a C is for cream puffs. Even that should be khream! Is Khris the answer to your season? Prolly not, but he is capable of 30 homers and he has 10 as of right now. Plus-minus that shizz and you have a bunch more homers in his bat. Oh, and four of those homers came in the last eight games. He is only 26 years old so there might even be a chance here for huge upside. I.e., his ceiling is unknown. All that is known is that he’s hit for power everywhere he’s played. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You make plans, and the Fantasy Baseball Overlord laughs. I believe that is how the saying goes. Yesterday, Carlos Gonzalez succumbed to his time-honored tradition of hitting the DL. This time it was due to his finger inflammation. I wonder if his finger plumped up like a Ballpark Frank. By the by, you know the secret ingredient that is used for Ballpark Franks to plump up when you cook them, why is that not used in other foods? This seems to be the cure for world hunger. Inject everything and ship it to Africa. “Nice pancake, colonizer, but can you plump it up?” Yes, we can now little African kid! On his trips to Africa, why is Bono not armed with Ballpark Franks? We need some sodium nitrate up in here! On the bright side of things, Corey Dickerson is now definitely going to get everyday looks for at least the next two weeks and I’d guess it’ll be more like three to four weeks. Grab Dickerson! Whew, glad his name isn’t Dick, er, son. On a side note, “precious cargo” is the stupidest Urban Dictionary definition I’ve ever seen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
With 11 of the 15 games pegged for the early contests on DraftKings, it’s a weird day to be a DFS baseball player, but a damn proud day to be an American. Thousands of men and women died for our freedom; so first and foremost, honor those brave souls any way you can, because without them, we wouldn’t be “enjoying” the daily grinds and the sweats (amongst many other [more important] things). Quit ogling the X-Men for one second and embrace the real heroes.
Now, back to the unique Memorial Day schedule – for the sake of not wasting research cycles, and in honor of my right to a Sunday Fun Day, this column will focus solely on the nighttime four-game set (i.e. the late games). To stand out in GPPs with such limited selection, it will take some creativity and a diamond in the rough or two, but let’s see what advantages we can find in just eight lineup cards. Of course, in-house tools like Hitter-Tron, Steam-o-Nator, and DFSBot are also here to help too. Oh, and on a random side note – why doesn’t Mike Olt change to #45? Olt 45 – it works every time. Billy Dee would be proud. Someone pass this along to Olt 45 – he can thank me later.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I mustache you a question, when you drafted, were you Axfording a hard time from your closer? Then you got it. John Axford finally was removed from the closer role. Francona said, “I’ve seen crap before, but Assford demonstrated a whole new level of excrement.” Or something to that effect. I’m not one for details. Axford was replaced by the committee of author Bryan Shaw, Nick at Nite star Cody Allen and The RZE. That’s also the order I’d pick them up. There’s prolly no reason to mess with The RZE, especially after he was treated like Jodie Foster in The Accused yesterday. Speaking of The RZE, Method Man and Raekwon forgot one way to torture their opponents when they talk about rusty screwdrivers and whatnot. “I’ll hack your fantasy team and pick up John Axford and leave him in your active lineup and let him keep feeding you terrible stats, and feeding you, and feeding you and feeding you.” Now, that’s gangster. There’s a good chance Axford never sees another save this year. Collective wisdom says Cody Allen will be the closer, but collective wisdom also said Obama was going to make a difference. Yesterday, the Indians set up the game so Shaw would be the closer, whereas Allen’s one save came when Axford was garbage and Shaw had already been used. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?